Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines)

by Ginger Scott

  “Okay, I’m not totally sure how I feel about this. But your dad said Buck offered to let us stay in his guest house,” my mom started, and I broke in, not letting her finish.

  “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Let’s do that,” I was overly enthusiastic, causing my mom to laugh nervously.

  “Yeah, I figured that’s what you’d say. Funny, your father was just as excited,” my mom said, her tone noting a bit of sarcasm.

  “That’s just a long time for a grown man to live with his in-laws,” I heard my father say in the background.

  “Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, it seems like plans are changing. Why don’t you come to the house just like you planned, and then we’ll figure it out from there before we head to Buck’s,” my mom said, giving in, and giving me the greatest Christmas gift ever in the process.

  “Okay, I’ll see you in an hour,” I said, hanging up, and then explaining everything to Sarah.

  Reed

  Nolan’s home was in pieces, and when my dad told me about it, I wanted to run to her and be with her when she found out. I knew the loss would hit her hard when it sank in, but I had to admit, the thought of her being in my house, within reach, for the entire winter break had me filled with the excitement of a kid waiting for Santa to come.

  My dad had left as soon as the TV interviews were done, and when he called a few minutes later to let me know the Lennoxes would be staying with us, I jumped in the Jeep and wasn’t far behind. Practices were light for the next few days, but would get more and more serious the closer we got to the bowl game. It was always weird being on campus when everyone was gone, like a ghost town. We were given a couple of days off over Christmas to spend time with our families, and then it would be pretty strict, and the focus on football got serious. I’d still get to head home a few times to see Nolan, though, and that’s all that mattered. I thought maybe she could stay in my room when I was gone, and the thought of her being there, sleeping in my bed, made me crazy, and I drove a whole hell of a lot faster.

  My dad and I headed over to the Lennoxes late Sunday afternoon. I knew Nolan would be home soon, and I wanted to see how bad everything was before she got there, so I could try to ease her shock.

  Her room was completely gutted, nothing left. Her clothes were charred shreds of their former selves, and her books and papers and charms that hung on her walls were blackened with soot and smoke stains. Nolan’s mom said she seemed to deal with the news over the phone, but I knew when she saw what was left, how everything was destroyed, it would break her heart.

  I reached down, and recognized a scrap of one of her T-shirts. It was a MicNic’s shirt, probably her oldest. I remembered it from high school, she’d put holes in it she wore it so much. When I looked up to take inventory of all of her bare hangers, and realized all she’d lost, an idea struck me. I called Sienna to bring her in on my scheme, and we made plans to scour Coolidge’s Goodwill stores over the weekend. I was going to do my best to replace what she’d lost—at least when I could.

  Before long, Nolan was pulling into the driveway. Pops and I had loaded up his truck with the rest of her family’s things, so hopefully she wouldn’t have to be in her house long. My heart leapt at seeing her, and I noticed a smile on her face, too. It was a good start, and I’d just have to work my ass off to keep it there.

  “Hey,” I said, walking over to her car door and pulling it open while she stepped out.

  “Hey,” she said shyly. “So, I guess my room exploded.” She had her sense of humor, another good sign.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’m not sure you should see it,” I said, reaching for her hand and locking my fingers with hers. She stared down at them, her breath stopping as she bit her bottom lip, and then tilted her chin back up to look at me.

  “I’ll be fine,” she said, convincingly.

  I led her around the back of her house, her parents and my dad following. Her dad was explaining what the fire inspectors had told him about the dryer causing the fire. Nolan just surveyed everything, taking it in. She poked her head through the exposed wall and floor, looking at the remains of her room. She reached up to blot her eyes, the scene affecting her more than she thought it would. I was worried about this. I just squeezed her hand tighter and pulled her in for a hug. She snuggled her face into my chest and turned to look up at me.

  “I’m fine, I promise. It’s just…a little hard to see, if that makes sense. I know it’s just stuff,” she said, her face a little more dejected now.

  “Yeah, it’s just stuff. The important things are all okay,” I said, squeezing her again and kissing the top of her head. She grabbed onto the front of my shirt with her fists, resting her forehead under my chin for a moment while she kicked her feet and stared at the ground.

  “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you said coconut,” she laughed.

  “Yeah, good thing,” I laughed, too. “Tell me, how ridiculous was that interview?” I led her back to her car so we could all caravan to my dad’s house, our hands still glued to one another. She got into her car and left the door open so we could talk.

  “Coconuts? You are coconuts? That’s the best you could come up with?” She teased me, poking at my stomach a little. I just shrugged and raised my hands. I’d won, and that’s all that mattered.

  When we got home, Rosie had already set up the guesthouse behind the garage for the Lennoxes. There were two bedrooms, but I hoped like hell Nolan wouldn’t be staying in one of them. Even though she was 20, I still felt like we were kids when her dad was around. I didn’t want to disrespect him, but I also wanted to have Nolan with me at night. Despite my wishes, she slept with her family for the first few nights. I wasn’t around much, splitting my time between Pop’s house and campus for practices, so I didn’t push my luck until I came home for our full practice break on the 23rd.

  “So, you’re not planning on welching on that bet, are you?” I asked Nolan, kicking her feet from the barstool in our kitchen while she read the paper and picked at one of Rosie’s famous omelets. She put her fork down and shoved my shoulder playfully and I pretended to be hurt. “Hey, watch the arm, killer.”

  She smiled big, her eyes crinkling, while she stuffed a full bite into her mouth. “I don’t welch on bets, Wildcat,” she said with her hot attitude. So goddamned cute. “I’ll pay up. Tonight.”

  She didn’t look at me when I walked around her, instead continuing with her breakfast and pretending like none of this affected her. I took advantage of it and leaned in, grazing my lips on her neck, and then whispered in her ear. “Good. You might want to nap. Because we’re not sleeping,” I said, biting at her a bit and then backing away when she turned to look at me, her eyes full of embarrassment and surprise as she looked around to make sure no one else heard. I just winked and walked outside to join my dad on the patio and left her there, breathless.

  Night couldn’t come soon enough. Nolan had spent the day with the girls, and I spent the entire afternoon getting everything ready with Sean. We had a lot to catch up on. When I told him that Nolan had lost a baby, it hit him pretty hard. Suddenly so many things were making sense. He was so enthusiastic about helping me set up all of Nolan’s surprises. My dad liked to have everyone open presents on Christmas Eve, and Nolan would be at her grandparents’ house for Christmas while I would be at my mom’s with Jason—something that I was seriously considering skipping for the first time in my life. Tonight was our only chance to have a holiday just for us. And I wanted it to be perfect.

  The sun was setting by the time Sarah’s car pulled in the driveway, and Nolan hopped out. I had been waiting in the living room for more than an hour, everything ready for her to arrive. I texted Sarah, and told her not to let Nolan eat dinner so she’d be hungry by the time she got home. She clicked the front door open and stopped in her tracks when she saw the table dressed for two, candles and all.

  “Wow, Reed. Did you do this all yourself?” she was surprised.

  “I had some help,” I shrugged. She knew Rosie di
d most of the heavy lifting. “It’s Rosie’s lasagna. I hope you’re hungry.”

  She smiled and kicked her shoes off, sliding over to the table. “I’m starving!” she said, pulling out her chair before I could. I was a little disappointed so I grabbed her napkin before she could take that gesture from me as well, only I knocked over the water glass when I reached for it, dumping a full glass on her lap. “Oh man!” she shrieked, standing right away and reaching for the napkin to try to dry her legs. “That’s cold stuff!”

  Damn. I was ruining it already. I reached for the other napkin and tried to help her dry her now soaking jeans. “Stupid. I’m so sorry,” I said. She just started giggling, instantly making me feel better.

  “It’s okay,” she tossed her now soaking napkin on the table. “I think, though…I’m gonna need some pants.”

  “Right,” I said, looking at the giant dark spots on her lap. I pointed to her and signaled that I’d be right back and ran upstairs to grab a pair of my sweatpants. I came back down and gave them to her, and she ducked into the powder room to change. I cleaned the rest of the water from the table before she came back out, my sweats draping on her body but looking so good. I just wanted to lift her in my arms right then, but I was determined to get the evening back on course. I went to reach for her chair again, but she just held up a hand, laughing a bit.

  “I appreciate it, Reed. I really do. But I got it,” she said. I slumped and just let her pull out her own chair and serve herself. I was a nervous wreck!

  We ate Rosie’s dinner, and each indulged in a piece of cheesecake before I led Nolan over to the sofa. It’s a Wonderful Life was on tonight, her favorite Christmas movie. I pulled a blanket from the back of the sofa and held it up, encouraging her to snuggle into my side. She hesitated, and then moved into me, her body warm. I could feel her heart beating in her ribs, and she was cautious at first before finally relaxing against me.

  We watched the start of the movie in silence, all the way up to the point where the main character, George, runs to the bridge, desperate, and feeling like a failure.

  God, could I relate—a couple of years ago I felt exactly the same. But I had this amazing girl, this girl right next to me, who pulled me out of my funk.

  I could sense that Nolan wanted to talk. She would lean forward every so often and open her mouth before settling back down and deciding against it. When she did it for a third time, I had to laugh. “Good grief, woman. What’s wrong? Do you have to pee?” I poked her sides, teasing her. She giggled and slid to the side away from me.

  “No,” she smiled, and then her mouth dipped just a bit. “I wanted to ask you about something…it’s sort of been bothering me.” Her lips were tight, and she was picking at her fingers, looking down. I reached for her hand and grabbed her, pulling her into me and laying her across my lap.

  “Ask me anything,” I said, kissing her lips quickly and startling her.

  “Okay,” she took a deep breath. “Are you…seeing Jenny?”

  I started laughing instantly, causing her brow to scrunch. She sat up and pushed back from me some, her feelings clearly hurt. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, I swear,” I said, pulling her back in. “I’m laughing at the thought of me with Jenny. Oh God, that would be awful. Mini Dylan!”

  Nolan smiled at this. I did have to come clean, though. No more secrets. Ever. I brushed her hair back from her face and looked at her for a minute, considering my words carefully. “Okay, how much do you want to know? I mean, there is nothing bad. I promise. But the story of how I know Jenny, well…it might make you uncomfortable. I don’t want to do that, not tonight, unless you want me to.”

  She seemed to consider this for a while, chewing on the inside of her mouth, thinking, and looking down at her twisting hands before meeting my gaze. “I’m good with it all. I want to know everything,” she nodded and I nodded back.

  “Okay. Well,” I started, pausing to think back to the first night I met Jenny. I decided it was best to tell Nolan everything, so I started with the trip to the bar with Trig. When I told her about Jenny stripping in her apartment, her face turned sick. I held my hand up and finished that part quickly. I wanted her to know that I left Jenny standing there, that all I thought about was her that night. Then I told her about Gavin, and the words we’d had that night in her hallway, which made her angry.

  “Son of a bitch!” she shot up from the sofa and stood now. “I trusted that guy! Oh my God, I was so nice to him the other day in the elevator. I was downright polite!”

  She started to pace, and I just stood up so she’d run into me, and grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s okay,” I said. “And trust me, I don’t think he’ll be bothering you.” I just looked at her and held her gaze, until I saw realization hit her. She didn’t ask for any details, but I knew she got the point.

  “So you’re not seeing Jenny?” she asked one more time.

  “No, absolutely not. I’m only seeing one girl. Haven’t really seen anyone else since I laid eyes on her,” I said, pulling out every ounce of Johnson charm now. It seemed to work, because she looked down and smiled faintly, kicking her feet and shrinking with embarrassment from the attention. She looked up then, and scrunched her brow a little.

  “Alright, I believe you. There’s just one thing,” she started.

  “Anything,” I reminded her.

  “Why were you going out with her, and Dylan and Jason the other night? And I saw her in the background at your interview, too,” she said, her voice unsure again. I’d forgotten about that in the midst of everything else I had been planning. I had meant to explain my date to her, and instantly felt bad that I’d let her fret and worry needlessly for the last few weeks.

  “I’m so sorry, I meant to tell you about that. It was a business meeting Dylan set up. She invited Jason and Jenny to make it less formal, so we wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. God, I didn’t want to go. But I had to,” I said, looking her right in the eyes. “And she got a ride with Dylan, so she was just at the interview waiting around.” I paused for her to take it all in, wanting to make sure there was nothing else standing between her heart and mine before I moved on with the rest of my plan. Finally satisfied, I moved on to phase two.

  “So, do you want your presents?” I asked, heading to the kitchen where I had them stashed in a cabinet. Nolan put her hands over her face and turned red in an instant. “Uh, or not…” I stopped in my tracks.

  “No, no,” she said, shaking her head and frowning a bit. “I totally want them. I’m sorry. It’s just that I didn’t bring anything for you. I sort of haven’t been able to do much lately, I’ve been…busy.”

  I watched her face carefully. I wasn’t sure how much she knew I knew, and I didn’t want tonight to turn into a self-help session, or an intervention. To put her at ease, I just smiled and bent down behind the kitchen counter to pull out her gifts. “Yeah, that’s pretty crappy of you to not get me anything,” I teased as I walked toward her, her face hardening with a toughness at my insult. “I guess you’ll just have to spend two nights with me now,” I winked, letting her know I was kidding. “Seriously, Noles, you don’t need to get me anything. This was just something I wanted to do.”

  I slid the first box in front of her. It was one of my dad’s old boot boxes, the largest box with a lid we had in the house. I didn’t wrap it very well, opting to just tie a ribbon around it. She pulled the strings and looked at me with a smirk, clearly trying not to judge my very masculine wrapping job. “Hey, I was in a hurry,” I shrugged.

  She smiled, and then looked down, pushing the lid to the side. I held my breath as she reached in and pulled out the first gray T-shirt. It was my Coolidge football shirt. She held it up to her face and breathed it in, and watching her close her eyes and just take in my scent, so damned adoring and in love, had me lost. “It was always your favorite,” I said softly. She just nodded and looked up, her eyes tearing. “There’s more,” I urged her on.

  She pulled out a MicN
ic shirt next, just like the one she’d had for years. “Where’d you find this?” she held it up against her body, rubbing the softness of it and clutching it close.

  “Ah, that one was hard. I had Sienna’s help. We went to three different thrift stores, and that one was actually in the last one, all the way up in Florence,” I said, acknowledging that I’d driven to the next town, 50 miles away, just to find a shirt.

  As she took each shirt out of the box, she held it up and admired it for minutes, laying each one over the next against her, hugging them close. There were old movie shirts, concert T-shirts, Arizona tourist trap shirts—they weren’t all exact replicas, but they were damn close. Nolan was never about the expensive designer labels. Hell, the girl owned maybe two dresses, and a skirt, still as an adult. But these stupid T-shirts? They were wrapped up in her identity. And I knew when she lost them that she’d feel stripped. And I just couldn’t stand it.

  “You like them?” I asked, reaching for the last one she’d pulled from the box and feeling it with my fingers, tracing the soft letters from some arcade that had shut down years ago.

  She nodded without words, not ready to look me in the eyes. She wore her emotions, and I knew she was touched. But I didn’t want this to be about her appreciation for me. I wanted it to be about her feeling happy, relieved and less lost. So, I sat there quietly—and waited while she put each one back in the box, and then slid it to the corner of the sofa. She scooted over to me and reached around my neck, giving me a full-bodied hug, her head resting hard against my shoulder. I heard her small sniffles and just caressed her head. “I’m glad you like them,” I whispered in her ear, stroking her hair until she was ready to release me.

  When she finally did, I slapped my hands in my lap and then asked if she was ready for the next one.

  “You got me something else?” she said, her face turning guilty.