The Shower

by Kay Bigelow

  Before she could analyze why she felt sad, Alex moved away from her. “Come with me so I can hold you,” Alex said.

  Lauren followed her and lay on her back. Alex rolled onto her side and began caressing Lauren. When she got between Lauren’s legs, she moved her hand to her center. Within seconds, Lauren was aroused again. Alex rebuilt the momentum until Lauren was once again ready to explode. Alex moved her other hand to her clit and began squeezing and stroking it. Lauren came again, without the intensity of before but no less satisfying.

  As she came down from her orgasm, she murmured in her sleepy dream state, “Do you strap on?” She was immediately mortified when she realized that she’d said the words aloud. She ventured a glance at Alex to try to determine if she’d heard her question. Alex seemed to be trying not to laugh, but she couldn’t hide her smile.

  “I do.”

  Alex pulled Lauren to her and whispered, “Thank you for asking.” Alex reached behind her, pulled the sheet over them, and wrapped her arms around Lauren to protect her. Lauren wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but she drifted slowly, letting the euphoria from the night sink in.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Making love with Lauren was everything and more than Alex had imagined it would be—passionate, sweet, and Lauren had been so responsive. She also seemed to know Alex’s body so well. How was that possible? Touching Lauren the first time had taken her breath away. Listening to her come had been such a turn-on. She wanted to hear her moans and her whispered endearments for a very long time.

  After she’d stopped Lauren, Alex tried to stop the trembling of her body and the seething need for Lauren. As her mind began functioning again, she knew Lauren had been as close to the edge as she’d been. She reached out to touch her. Please don’t push me away. Please don’t get up and leave the room. I don’t know why I stopped you. Honestly, I don’t. I didn’t want to, it was reflex.

  Since Lauren didn’t pull away from her touch, Alex wrapped her arms around her and was as close to tears as she had been to an orgasm. What’s wrong with me? Alex wanted—no, needed—to touch her to arouse her again, to make her come, to put all the love she was feeling for her in her hands and tongue.

  As Lauren began making love to her again, she could feel the panic rising to the point where she would reach out to stop her. Before she knew what was happening, her mind was non-existent. All she was aware of was Lauren’s mouth and tongue on her clit, and her fingers inside her. And then she exploded. Her orgasm was deep and fiery. She thought she saw stars.

  When Lauren went to get them water, Alex wondered what Lauren was thinking. Will Lauren return, or is our night over? Will Lauren think I faked not being able to come? Worse, will Lauren think I faked the orgasm? What a fucking mess I’ve made.

  After she’d drunk half the water in the bottle, Alex made love to Lauren. Lauren was quickly aroused and came hard. When Lauren had regained control, Alex moved up to lie next to her. She pulled Lauren into her arms, savoring the feel of Lauren’s skin against her own.

  When Lauren asked her if she strapped, Alex was stunned. Because of Lauren’s age, Alex had thought her strapping days were over. Wow. Who would have thought? Just be thankful she asked and don’t be judgmental and don’t let her know you’re surprised.

  Once she felt Lauren relax into sleep, she continued to hold her even as sleep evaded her. Lauren said she understood my need to stop her in the middle of making love. I need to trust that’s true. No reason not to. The real test of trust, though, will come when I tell her about Lucia. Will she be as understanding about her as she was about my need to stop?

  ****

  When Lauren woke Sunday morning, for a moment she felt like her world had tipped on its axis sometime in the night and hadn’t yet righted itself. It took Lauren a moment to acclimate to her surroundings and remember where she was and with whom. Only there was no “whom” in her bed. She was alone. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and went in search of Alex. Lauren noted the bedroom door was standing open and knew she had closed it when they’d come upstairs. Please let her still be in the house. Please don’t let her have run away.

  She found Alex in the kitchen trying to figure out how to use the coffee maker. She had on a pair of Lauren’s sweats and a T-shirt, both of which Lauren had laid out for her earlier the previous day—just in case. The T-shirt and sweatpants didn’t fit well, but she looked very sexy nevertheless and Lauren could feel her libido kicking in again. Underlying her desire, Lauren was so relieved Alex hadn’t left in the wee hours of the morning.

  Also watching her and itching to help was Serena sitting behind her, but on full alert should her services be needed. Max, wanting to take a more paws-on approach, sat next to the coffee pot watching intently everything Alex was doing.

  When Lauren said, “Good morning,” all three of them jumped. She smiled at them, and asked, “Can I help?”

  Alex crossed the kitchen and kissed Lauren good morning. “Miss me?” she asked.

  Lauren laughed. “Like the devil.”

  “Good.”

  “Let me let Serena out, and I’ll teach you the secrets of the coffee maker.”

  “Serena’s been out. She’s even had breakfast. Max has been fed, and I think he tricked me into giving him more food than you do.”

  “You’ve been quite the busy camper already this morning.”

  “I was going to move my car out of your driveway, but I couldn’t think of anywhere to park it that wouldn’t be conspicuous. It’s not like you live in town and I could park a street over.”

  “Trying to save my already sullied reputation again?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Next time, park in the space beside the tool shed. You won’t be seen from the street.”

  “Thanks for the tip,” Alex said with a wide grin, apparently pleased she’d be invited back to spend the night.

  “I appreciate you looking after my reputation. Here, let me help.”

  Lauren taught her how to put water into the Keurig’s tank, reminded Alex where she kept the pre-measured pods, and taught her how to slide one into the coffee maker. She also showed her the On button. Alex laughed when she realized those three steps was all she had to do to have coffee.

  “Seems I overcomplicated the process.”

  “What kind of coffee do you want?”

  Alex stood in front of the drawer studying the various kinds of coffee she could choose. She finally chose a pod that produced a cup of plain black coffee.

  “Too many choices?” Lauren asked

  “Way too many for this early in the morning.”

  Lauren chose a morning tea and took her mug to the kitchen table. They sat across from one another sipping their drinks without speaking, content to just be together. Lauren rested her hand on Alex’s arm, momentarily needing to touch her. Alex’s hair was ruffled, she wore ill-fitting clothes, and she’d gotten very little sleep. Even with all that, Lauren found her incredibly appealing. Lauren tried to remember if she’d felt this way when she and Sandy had first met and fallen into bed, but nothing remotely like this had occurred between her and Sandy. She’d loved Sandy for over twenty years, but this…This was something else altogether. She knew she was in danger of getting lost in Alex.

  “I guess we need to talk,” Alex said, startling Lauren out of her reverie.

  When she didn’t say anything, Lauren asked, “Why did you really want to move your car?”

  “If you’re thinking it’s because I’m embarrassed or ashamed of being with you, stop right there. It has nothing to do with you.”

  “If it’s not me, then why?” Lauren asked

  “I want to savor what we’ve found for as long as I can. When people find out about us, it won’t be private anymore and it will change us. Do you understand?”

  “I think so.”

  “Anything else?” Alex asked.

  “Why did you really stop me?”

  Alex didn’t say anything ri
ght away, then heaved a deep sigh and began. “It’s essentially what I told you last night. When I was sleeping around after Natalia’s death, I had to be in control. I wouldn’t, couldn’t, be vulnerable even with the women I invited into my bed. There’s no more vulnerable a time for me than when I’m having an orgasm. So, no orgasms. When I was close, I simply moved so I was making love to them. I’m not sure it occurred to them that I hadn’t had an orgasm. Most of the time, when they came I’d hold them for a while, then get up and leave. I was pretty much emotionally raw and didn’t want to give them control over me. I also felt guilty being with other women. Eventually, I simply stopped putting myself in those situations and became celibate. There were one or two, who wouldn’t stop. They wanted to prove to themselves or to me that they could and would make me come. Those were the worst times.”

  What is it costing Alex to be this vulnerable with me? God, she must trust me. How does she do that after not trusting anyone for so long?

  Lauren stood up and slipped out of the nook. The look on Alex’s face was both one of betrayal and shock. She stood next to Alex and held out her hand. Alex looked at her hand like she didn’t understand. Finally, she saw understanding dawning. Alex took her hand and stood.

  Lauren pulled her into her arms and held on tight. “I love you,” she whispered. Oh, God. Did I just say that out loud? Please tell me I didn’t. It’s way too soon.

  Alex stepped back from her and looked at her with such intensity Lauren had to look away. Alex pulled Lauren toward her and gave her the kiss of her lifetime. Lauren had to grab the table to stop from sinking to the floor when Alex released her.

  Maybe I didn’t say “I love you” out loud. She didn’t say anything about it. Whew. I dodged the proverbial bullet there.

  “Can we go upstairs?” Alex asked. She turned and walked toward the kitchen door. “Are you coming with me?”

  Of course I want to come with you.

  “I surely hope so.” Lauren couldn’t get across the kitchen fast enough. She took her hand and headed for the stairs.

  Once they were back in bed, they both became shy. All Lauren wanted to do was to look at her. She takes my breath away. Yes, she’s beautiful and sexy, but there is something else so alluring about her. As Lauren’s eyes feasted on Alex’s body, she tried to figure out what it was that drew her to Alex so strongly. Like the proverbial light bulb blinking on, Lauren found Alex’s calmness and serenity to be what she’d been craving not only in her new home, but in another person. Like the house I built on this particular parcel of land, I feel calmer when I’m with her.

  Alex pulled Lauren closer to her. Lauren laid her head on Alex’s shoulder and sighed. Alex put her arm around her and held her tight. Without wanting to, Lauren fell asleep, safe in Alex’s arms.

  When she woke again, she was no longer in Alex’s arms. She had moved away and lay sleeping nearby. Lauren let her sleep, but couldn’t stop watching her. Strangely, she didn’t look all that different asleep as she did awake. Lauren had found that, with most people, sleep smoothed away…what? Their worries, anxieties, their everyday life, and even their personalities, leaving only tranquility. With Alex, she was as serene, or almost as serene, awake as she was asleep. What a remarkable woman. I hardly know her yet. I don’t even know the questions to ask to get her to reveal herself to me. But I do know I love her.

  Lauren felt the bed move behind her and knew Serena had joined them while they slept. A glance over her shoulder told her the dog was stretched out only a few inches from her. Lauren smiled. She knew that in the years since she’d chosen her, Serena had been the only one bringing real joy into her life. Until Alex.

  When Lauren returned her focus to Alex, she was awake and watching Lauren. She smiled, showing her dimples.

  “I take it we have company?” Alex asked.

  “Serena. She forgets she’s a dog and insists on sleeping on the bed with me.”

  “I take it you didn’t take many women home with you.”

  Lauren thought about her question for a minute. “Actually, I don’t think I ever took a woman back to my condo.”

  “So the fact that I’m in your home in your bed means I’m the first?”

  “Yes. And, it means you’re very special.”

  “We only have a few weeks, if that, of really nice weather before winter begins sneaking up on us. Why don’t we do something fun and interesting?”

  “On a Labor Day Sunday?” Lauren asked. “Is that even possible?”

  Alex laughed. “You really were engrossed in your work, weren’t you?”

  “Okay, smart-ass, what does one do on a Sunday for fun?”

  “Well, let’s see….”

  “Ha! I was right. No one does anything fun on a Labor Day Sunday.”

  “Okay, maybe I just can’t think of anything. I’ll have to think on that some more.”

  “While you’re thinking on that, would you be willing to help me unpack my books and shelve them? Or we can go buy me a television, if you prefer. And I need a clock.”

  “I thought you’d never ask. We can unpack the books and then go buy a television and a clock.”

  “Want breakfast first?”

  “You cook? I thought all city-dwellers either ate out or did takeout,” she said, smiling.

  “In the months between buying the property and the house being built, I knew my take-out and dining out options would be limited. So I taught myself to cook with the help of my friend Lindsey, who is a chef.”

  “Who’s Lindsey? And should I be…?”

  “Is ‘jealous’ the word you’re searching for?”

  “No. I’m not the jealous type. Or at least I wasn’t until I met you, apparently.”

  “To answer your question, Lindsey is my best friend of thirty-five years. We met in college.”

  “What does she do? Did you say she was a chef? Where does she do her cheffing? When do I get to meet her?” Alex asked in a rush.

  “Let’s go downstairs. You can ask all your questions while I fix breakfast. But first I need a shower,” Lauren said.

  Lauren headed for the shower. When she came out of the bathroom, the bedroom was empty. She got dressed and then straightened up, putting the clothes she picked up off the floor into the laundry hamper and neatly folding Alex’s clothing. She went downstairs and found Alex on the back porch with a mug of coffee in her hand. Serena was out in the yard ensuring her domain was safe and had not been overrun by vermin.

  Lauren started breakfast, and Alex and Serena came back into the kitchen. Alex sat at the table watching Lauren as she moved around. Lauren served Alex and then herself. As they sat eating, they talked about books and music.

  If I had to explain to a stranger how I pictured a perfect Sunday morning, this would be it. I need to slow things down. The next thing I know, there’ll be two guys and a moving truck in front of my house. And I’m not ready to share my home yet. This is still the perfect morning, though.

  Chapter Fifteen

  After they finished eating and had cleaned up the kitchen, Lauren stepped into the pantry and emerged with a tall step stool in hand. They moved to Lauren’s office to attack the boxes of books sitting in a corner.

  “What a great space!” Alex exclaimed as they walked into the room. “I love that picture window looking out over your domain. Was it part of your concept?” Alex asked about the six-by-six-foot window.

  “Thanks. Yes, but the architect or someone in her office kept trying to make it into a regular-sized window. The window in the bedroom is the same size as this one.”

  “You have a window in your bedroom?” Alex asked with a smile.

  Lauren laughed. “That was as charming a backhanded compliment as ever I’ve heard.”

  “I’m glad you prevailed. It makes the room light and airy,” Alex said as she stood at the window looking out. This room would make a great art studio. She mentally shook her head to get her mind back in the here and now. If you’re not careful, you’ll be calli
ng moving companies to rent a truck. “Okay. Let’s get at the books. How do you want them shelved?”

  “I think there’s mostly fiction. So alphabetically by author.”

  “Really?”

  “How would you shelve them?” Lauren asked, surprise written all over her voice.

  “My own bookshelves are organized by when I purchased the books.”

  “Really?” Lauren asked, laughing. “How do you find anything?”

  “I stand in front of the shelves and read the titles until something sounds interesting.”

  By then, Lauren had the first box opened. “Save the top two shelves for later.”

  As Lauren handed books to her, Alex noticed they were already in alphabetical order, and the chore wasn’t going to take nearly as long as she had anticipated. They were done in less than an hour and the books looked lonely on the shelves. Alex hadn’t even needed the step stool to shelve the books. Lauren had had the architect build the shelves into the wall across from the picture window so she had ten eight-foot-long shelves. The books she had filled less than a quarter of the shelving.

  “Before we go television shopping, I need to stop by my place to change clothes. Okay?” Alex asked.

  “Of course. Let me let Serena out, and I’ll be ready to go.”

  As they walked out the front door, Alex said, “Okay if I drive?

  “Something to do with the need to be in control?”

  “Uh-huh,” she murmured.

  When they drove past Alex’s grandmother’s house, Lauren was surprised. “Where are we going?”

  “To my place. You thought I lived with my grandmother?”

  “I guess I did.”

  “I did for the first two years I was here. I left to go to Boston to get my MFA, and afterwards I moved back in with April. Then a year later, a place came on the market and a real estate agent friend of April’s was handling it. April had told her I was looking before I even told her I was. It was perfect. Wait till you see it.”

  “Why are you calling your Sobo ‘April’?” Lauren asked.