Alive Again

by Emma Tharp

  Patrick smiles at me. It’s a beautiful smile that goes right up to his eyes and lands squarely on my heart. “I felt the same way, but I thought you would only see me as an old, lonely single dad. Someone like you would never take a second look at me.”

  “Shhh.” I put my finger over his lips. “You can never say such silly things. You’re incredibly hot, smart, successful, and an amazing father. Who wouldn’t think you’re sexy?”

  Kissing the pad of my finger, he sucks it into his mouth and raises his eyebrows at me. My nipples harden and press against the fabric of my bra. “All I care about is that you think those things.” Leaning forward, his mouth is on mine, claiming my lips with his own. We lie back and Patrick positions himself over me, never breaking the kiss. His mouth is wet, hot, and greedy. The full length of his body is pressed against mine, every inch rock hard, causing my heart to pound rapidly in my chest. No kiss has ever felt this good; it’s all consuming and fills me up, spurring me on.

  Lifting the bottom of his shirt, I tug it up over Patrick’s head and stare at the smooth skin of his chest. My God, he’s perfection. My needy hands come to his chest and glide down his stomach. He moans and a shiver moves through him. I lift my own top over my head and unhook my bra, tossing it to the floor. All I want, all I need, is his skin against mine. All of it.

  “You’re so beautiful,” Patrick rasps out, his eyes half-lidded with admiration. His strong hand comes up my bare chest and caresses my nipple with his thumb. It’s gentle and soft and sends a hum of energy between my legs. I bring my mouth to his, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth and pulling him back on top of me.

  “Mmm, we feel so good together,” I say, my voice throaty, almost unrecognizable to my own ears. “Take our pants off.” I don’t know what inside me is making me so demanding. I’m never like this and I definitely wasn’t with Cole, but right now Patrick is turning me into a bundle of raw desire.

  Wordlessly, Patrick tugs on my pants and yanks them and my thong off. He sits back, drinking me in and shakes his head. “Damn,” he whispers. His eyes are blue pools of lust, wide and looking as though they’d like to consume me.

  Standing, he undoes his jeans and tugs them and his boxer briefs down. I shamelessly lie on my side and watch, chewing on my lip as I get a full, front row view of his erection. He’s long and thick. “Wow,” I breathe out.

  He’s back on top of me in an instant, pressing his forehead against mine. “Do you like what you see?”

  “Yes, I need you.” My hands roam down the ridges of his abdomen and further down until I grasp his length. Sliding my hand up and down, hot and hard, I guide him toward my entrance, teasing myself. He groans and crashes his mouth to mine and pulls back.

  Leaning over to the drawer of his nightstand, he rifles through the contents and pulls out a condom, rips it open with his teeth, and slides it on. This time when he lies back on top of me, he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, licking it again and again. His fingers deftly play with my clit, circling it, massaging it, awakening every cell in my body. I’m acutely aware of the flush of heat moving through my body, my blood pumping harder. His delicious masculine scent is all around me and now it’s mixed with my own, creating an intoxicating connection between us.

  Clutching his length once more, I position him at my entrance. “I want you now.”

  Nodding, he says, “I’m going to go slow.” He almost growls out the last word. Flexing his muscles, he enters me inch by delectable inch until he fills me all the way, stretching me to my limits. “You feel so good, Carsen. Perfect. Are you okay?”

  “Better than okay. Keep going.” Raising my hips up to meet his, allowing him to glide in and out in rhythm with me, I moan and nearly pant when Patrick speeds up the pace. Every nerve ending in my body is super-charged and on high alert.

  Patrick grasps behind my knees and pushes them back and closer to my head. At this angle, the sensations get sharper as he hits sensitive flesh deep inside me. My arousal grows and blooms with every sweet stroke. Leaning forward, he pinches my nipple between his teeth and sucks hard, intensifying the building pleasure. His mouth travels up my chest to my neck and I tilt my head back, granting him better access as he licks a warm trail to my mouth. “You’re driving me crazy,” he whispers in my ear.

  Tension begins to spread through my body, tightening and coiling deep in my belly. “I’m close,” I cry out.

  “Yes, let go.” He never stops his measured deliberate thrusts. “Look at me.”

  Eyes wide, I stare at the gorgeous man on top of me. Giving over the last bit of control I have left, my body convulses as wave after wave of pleasure pulses through me all the way to my curling toes.

  Just when I think it couldn’t get any better, Patrick works his skilled fingers down my clit, moving in relentless circles as if he knows all the secret ways to please a woman. His body continues to thrust expertly, stroking in and out of me. “You want to go again?”

  “Yes,” I hiss out. Arching my back and clutching the sheets, my orgasm isn’t far off. Patrick’s mouth is on mine, his tongue plunging deep and wild. This kiss is unguarded and feral and unlike any before it. The energy and pressure build until I come apart again, heat rolling through me as I cry out his name.

  Patrick’s movements are erratic now as his hands grip my hips and he grinds against me. He throws his head back and his muscles convulse in his own shuddering orgasm. A moan of pleasure comes from his throat as he sinks down and lies on top of me, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. “You are amazing.”

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I say, thinking that that is the understatement of the day. He could teach a class on erogenous zones and pleasing women.

  We lie wrapped up in each other until our breathing normalizes. Rolling over so he’s next to me, Patrick lays his arm over my stomach and turns me to face him. “You’re okay?”

  Stroking slow circles on his shoulder with my fingertips, I say, “I am so much better than okay. What about you?”

  “I haven’t felt this way in a very long time.” He gives me a relaxed and sexy smirk.

  For a few contented minutes, we lie in companionable silence. My body is completely sated, but my mind starts to wander. When Patrick tells me how good he’s feeling, I should be ecstatic. But I’m not. I’m reeling about the what-ifs. What if this a one-time thing? What if he regrets all of this in the morning? What if Maggie comes back and wants what is hers?

  “Hey, I don’t like to see the frown on your face. What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

  “Can I ask you a question without you getting upset?” I ask with hesitation. The last thing I want is to ruin the moment but I need to know more.

  Stroking the side of my face with his finger, Patrick says, “Of course. We can talk about anything. That’s what this is about, open communication.”

  My pulse slows down a few beats. “I know we are very new, but I’ve already started developing feelings for you. Do you mind telling me if you think a relationship could work out between us? Because if you say no, I need to protect my heart.” He has the potential to cause me a great deal of pain and if he isn’t sure what we could be, I need to start building a wall around myself.

  Patrick links his hand with mine and lays a sweet kiss on the back of it. His gaze is sincere and deep. “When my life went to shit, I vowed to myself that I would never let another woman close to me. Ever. Damn, I’m not good at this.” He wrinkles his forehead and swallows hard.

  “It’s okay. You’re doing great.” I give him a peck on the cheek and squeeze his hand.

  “Thanks. I think I told you that I’ve never been good at expressing myself. I’m a work-in-progress. Anyway, after I got hurt I never wanted to experience that again, even if it meant I was single for the rest of my life.” A slow smile builds on his sexy face. “And then you waltzed into my life. You’re beautiful, caring, smart, passionate, and we click. I walked around trying to deny what I felt and tried to f
ile it away in one of the drawers in my brain labeled ‘never going to happen.’”

  “I felt exactly the same way. The attraction was instant, but so were all of the red flags, like ‘he’s way out of your league,’ ‘he’s married,’ ‘he’s hotter than anyone I’ve ever met.’”

  His mouth curves into a smile and he raises a sexy as hell brow at me. “You think I’m hotter than anyone you’ve ever met?” In one quick motion, he yanks me on top of him so I’m lying on his chest, our bodies pressed together, his erection pressing against me.

  Giggling, I say, “Oh, yeah. Without a doubt.”

  With a heated gaze, he pulls me in close and kisses me, letting his hands roam down my backside. “I need you again. I don’t think I can wait.”

  “Me either,” I sigh as his lips nip at my neck. And with that, all the fear of the what-ifs vanish.

  10

  Patrick

  My work week flies by in a blur, but it’s finally starting to settle down a bit since the hospital project details are finalizing.

  And my home life couldn’t get much better. Work has always been a reprieve for me, a distraction. Now I want to be home with Carsen and Maeve as much as possible. If someone would’ve told me a year ago that my wife was going to leave me and I would end up finding someone else and start falling for her hard and fast, I wouldn’t have believed them. But that’s what is happening. Carsen came into my life and has changed it for the better.

  Now she sits here next to me—in the beautiful dress I bought for her—at my brother’s wedding. It’s been a day of celebration of the love that Braeden and Lettie found together. I got to stand next to my brother while he cried like a baby as Lettie came down the aisle in her stunning white gown. It truly has been a spectacular day.

  The reception hall is dimly lit with stunning floral arrangements at the center of every table. Their scent reminds me of Carsen. I have no idea what the names of all of them are, but my mother could tell you. Everyone I love is in this room. Brae and Lettie are stopping at each table during the meal to catch up with everyone and thank them for coming. Jax and Amelia are out on the dance floor already; they never seem to have their hands off each other. Glancing across the table, my mom is feeding Maeve little chunks of chicken. They’re both wearing huge smiles on their faces. Carsen is sitting next to me, our knees touching under the table. It’s not enough. I want more. We’ve had sex every night and sometimes before I leave for work in the morning this week. We can’t seem to get enough of each other.

  Pushing her plate away, Carsen puts one hand on her flat stomach and says, “I’m stuffed. The food was fantastic, but now I need to go dance.” Even in the dim light, I can still see the way her blue-green eyes sparkle, telling me there’s something she wants. “Will you dance with me?”

  Fuck. I hate dancing. I barely did it at my own wedding, but it’s hard as hell to say no to Carsen. And I want to be close to her and have her in my arms. I’m sure my family wouldn’t think anything of it. They all love Maeve’s new nanny. Soon I’ll have to start telling everyone that she is so much more than an employee. Just not yet, I need a little more time. “I’m not much of a dancer.”

  Smirking, her hand finds my leg under the table and she runs her hand up it and whispers, “If you dance with me now, I will thank you for it later.” She runs her tongue across her top lip and fuck if I don’t get a semi.

  “You drive a hard bargain,” I say.

  “Does that mean you’re going to take me out to the dance floor now?” Her voice has a sultry edge to it that makes me want to take her home now and skip the dance floor.

  I nod at her, stand up, and give her my hand. “Let’s go.”

  Her smile is immediate and as wide as they come. “Thank you.”

  We walk to the dance floor together and find an empty spot. Carsen’s hands come up around my neck and I put my arms around her slim waist, my hands sitting at the small of her back. Her sweet lilac scent is all around me and I have the overwhelming desire to move her hair out of the way and kiss the soft skin of her neck. There’s a spot just under her ear that drives her wild when I run my tongue along it. “Do you have any idea how much I don’t like to dance?”

  Swinging her hips, she presses her body closer to mine. “Oh, really? What’s not to like about it?”

  When we turn and her back is toward the empty corner of the room, I grasp her ass firmly in my hand and squeeze, causing her to gasp. “First of all, if I’m this close to you, I’d prefer it be without clothes on.” My hand moves up and returns to her back.

  “Well, I agree with you, but isn’t this nice, too?” Her fingertips sneak up to the back of my hair and she runs her nails through it. She knows how much I love it when she does that. My dick twitches and my restraint is getting less and less.

  “This is nice. Everything I do with you is; I’d just rather not be on the dance floor with all of these people watching us,” I whisper in her ear.

  Carsen’s face is only centimeters from my neck, and when she exhales, her lips graze my skin, causing an erotic chill to move down my spine. I’d love to lift the fabric of her dress and take her right here. And she wonders why I don’t want to dance. I’m in such a lust filled haze that I don’t even recognize her at first, the woman walking toward Carsen and me.

  I shake my head to see if it’ll change the picture in front of me. It doesn’t.

  Maggie clears her throat, and Carsen and I stop dancing to face her. “Hi, Patrick, it’s good to see you.” Her tone is soft and tentative and her head is angled down.

  I’ve long since given up on the idea of ever seeing her again, so now that she’s standing in front of me, I’m so dumbfounded that I don’t know what to say. “Maggie.” It’s all I get out.

  Carsen looks from me to Maggie, her skin has gone pale and her mouth is agape, a mirror of the shock I’m feeling.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend? I don’t recognize her.” Maggie points to Carsen.

  “This is Maeve’s nanny, Carsen. And, Carsen, this is Maggie.” The women shake hands and nod at each other. This introduction couldn’t get more awkward. It’s as if I’m in an alternate universe.

  My wife is here now after being gone for over seven months without so much as a phone call. And she looks exactly the same. She’s even dressed up for a wedding in a blue dress with her strawberry blonde hair curled around her shoulders. Shouldn’t she look like she just came back from a war or something catastrophic? I thought if I ever saw her again that she’d look like she’d been lost and injured. What else would explain her behavior? Seeing her no worse for the wear stews up anger in my gut.

  “What are you doing here, Maggie?” I ask, my tone cold and emotionless.

  Her eyes widen and she takes a step back. “I was hoping we could talk.”

  Turning my head away from Maggie, I take a calming breath. How dare she show up here and look surprised when I ask her what she’s doing. “This day is about Brae and Lettie. I can’t believe you’d come here and expect me to just go and talk.”

  Tears start to form in Maggie’s eyes and her hand comes up the side of her neck. “Patrick, I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew you’d be here.”

  Fuck. I don’t want to see her crying. It used to crush me, but tonight, it isn’t causing the same reaction. I don’t have patience for it.

  “Patrick.” Carsen’s voice cuts through my haze of anger. “Why don’t you and Maggie go talk?” Her tone is soothing and takes my irritation down a notch. “I can get Maeve, drive her home, and put her to bed. Where are your keys?”

  Pressing my lips together, I reach in my pocket and hand her my car key. “Did you drive here, Maggie?”

  “I took an Uber,” Maggie says.

  Carsen hands me my key back. “I can get a ride home. Why don’t you guys go ahead?”

  “No, we’ll ride together. It’ll be fine,” I say, not really sure if anything is really going to be fine.

  I
’m on autopilot. Maggie leaves the reception and goes out to the car. The last thing I want to happen is to have any drama at my brother’s wedding. Maeve is still with my mother, so I go to them and take Maeve, telling my mom that we’re leaving and to let Brae know that we had to take off. She doesn’t ask questions which is a blessing because I don’t want to have to explain right now.

  Once at the car, Carsen and Maeve get situated in the backseat and Maggie takes the passenger seat. Seeing her there brings back a flood of emotions. She was my co-pilot for most of my life. Fuck if my head isn’t a mess. The ride home is awkwardly silent and I’m all of a sudden anxious to get home so I can hear Maggie’s explanation. It’s all I’ve wanted for the last six months and it looks like I’m about to get it, so why do I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach?

  We pull into the house and I grab Maeve’s car seat out of the backseat and bring her inside. Maggie and Carsen follow me. I pull my baby out of the seat and kiss her cheek; I don’t even let Maggie near her. Handing her to Carsen, I say, “Do you mind taking her upstairs and putting her to bed? I need some time.” I don’t even bother giving Maggie the choice. She hasn’t earned it yet.

  Carsen looks up at me through her lashes, an unreadable expression on her face. “Of course. I’ve got her.”

  I don’t have it in me to figure Carsen out at the moment. Just the basics. Maeve is taken care of so Maggie and I can talk.

  Walking into my office, Maggie follows me in and I close the door behind us. My blood starts to boil as I look at the woman I devoted my life to. I want to scream at her and shake her and ask what the fuck is wrong with her. Clenching my fists at my sides, I take a long drawn-out breath hoping my heart rate will come down.

  Coming up to me, Maggie tries to put her hands on me but I back away. “What are you doing?”