You Are My Sunshine: A Novel Of The Holocaust (All My Love Detrick Book 2)

by Roberta Kagan

  “They will be looking for me,” the man said his eyes wild, scanning the room. “I should leave here. I will put all of you in danger.”

  “Isaac, maybe he’s right. Maybe he should leave,” Sarah said.

  “We can’t send him out of here in this condition. He will die.”

  “But if he stays, we will all die,” Sarah answered.

  “Sarah’s right,” Shlomie said.

  “Yes, she very well may be right. But we cannot just throw him out,” Isaac said. Then he looked over at Zofia and remembered the baby. Zofia knew him well enough to understand the dilemma that he faced. She saw the concern as it crossed his face.

  “Isaac, I wouldn’t hear of putting him out. We are all running away from the Nazis; we are all in the same position. He must stay. There is no other humane choice.” Zofia said.

  “If it were just me, I would have no qualms about you staying here. But, I cannot put the others at risk,” Isaac said, hanging his head.

  The man nodded, “I understand.”

  “He’ll die, Isaac,” Zofia said. “If they don’t find him and kill him, he’ll bleed or starve to death.”

  Isaac continued to clean the man’s wound. “I think the fairest thing to do would be to take a vote.” Isaac took a deep breath. Then he continued, “Does everyone agree?”

  The all nodded.

  “All in favor that he stays, raise your hands.” Everyone except Sarah and Isaac raised their hands. Even Shlomie didn’t have the heart to put him out.

  “It looks like you will be staying with us,” Isaac said. “What is your name?”

  “Seff.”

  Isaac introduced the others as he continued to bandage Seff’s chest.

  “It looked worse than I thought. If we can avoid infection, you’ll be all right.”

  “I thank you,” Seff said. “I feel terrible about putting all of you in danger. But this might help… I have news. I was staying with a friend in the neighboring village for a while. She had a radio. At night, we tuned it to the BBC. Listen to this… Last month, the Allies landed at Normandy. From what I understand, it was a bloody battle. But they are here: the American’s the Canadians, the British, they are here! God be with them! And, praise God, Germany is losing the war against Russia, as well. So the Russians are marching towards Berlin. Any day now, if we can just hold out, this will all be over.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears,” Shlomie said, taking a deep breath.

  “Well, Germany is on the defensive. They are in bad shape. Hitler sent his men ill-equipped to face a winter in Russia, and Stalin beat the hell out of him.” Seff smiled, even though the pain of his injuries still showed on his face.

  “Yes, and the Russians are as cruel as the Germans,” Ben said. “Maybe the Nazis are finally going to get a dose of their own medicine.”

  “So, as far as we are concerned, we can only hope that the Western side gets to us first, the British and the Americans. You know the Brits have been bombing Berlin like crazy.”

  Isaac had finished his work on Seff’s wounds. He took the bucket of water and emptied it outside the cabin door, and then he came to sit beside Zofia. He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing it gently.

  “I know you don’t want me here,” Seff said to Isaac.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you here. For myself, I would gladly keep you here face the consequences. But, this is Zofia, my wife. I cannot, I will not put her in danger.”

  “They are not really married. Today, out of the blue, from nowhere, they’ve just decided that they are married,” Sarah said.

  “We are married in our hearts. And, Zofia is going to have a child. My child”

  Sarah gasped. Shlomie turned pale.

  “Isaac…” Zofia said.

  “Everyone might as well know. It’s just a matter of time before they will be able to see what is happening. I want them to know that you come first to me, Zofia, before everything. Before my own life. And that is why I am uncomfortable taking this poor man into our cabin. The Nazis are chasing him. We don’t know if he has been followed. We are taking a big risk.”

  Shlomie cleared his throat. “That changes things, greatly.” He glared at Isaac. “How could you be so thoughtless? She will be ready to give birth in the middle of the winter, no food…bitter cold. What were you thinking, Isaac? She will surely die.” Shlomie got up and paced like a tiger in a cage. Then he slammed his fist into the wall.

  “Yes, I know the baby will come in the winter. Believe me, I think about it constantly. But I won’t let her die. I will provide food and warmth. She will survive, and so will our child.”

  “You are a selfish man,” Shlomie said, glaring at Isaac. Then Shlomie walked over to where Isaac sat and kicked his leg.

  Isaac rose and punched Shlomie in the stomach. Shlomie fell backwards against the wall of the cabin, clutching his belly.

  “Stop! Stop this right now,” Zofia said, getting up and standing between them. “This won’t solve a thing.” She glanced back and forth between the two men, who were breathing heavily. “Seff will stay. He will heal, and then decide if he wants to stay or move on. We will manage. If the Nazis are hunting him and they find us, then that is just our fate. But we cannot turn him away. He is Jew, just like we are.”

  Isaac nodded in agreement.

  Shlomie continued to glare at Isaac. “You stupid selfish fool, how could you do this to Zofia? How?” he said under his breath, and folded his arms across his chest. He fought to keep from crying.

  Chapter 68

  Despite their disagreement, Shlomie was the best friend Isaac had ever, had and he regretted their fight. Isaac knew he was the stronger man, the more attractive man, the more capable man, and more importantly, the one Zofia had fallen in love with. For this, he felt he must make some concessions. Later he would talk to Shlomie and he would apologize. He took his bow and arrow, and went outside to see if he might shoot a rabbit or a bird. Over the years he’d spent living in the forest, he’d become a good shot. It was hard to imagine that the little boy with the double chins who sat on the wooden stool nibbling on cookies in the back of his parents bakery was the same man he’d become. Well, he’d done what must be done to survive.

  Isaac walked through the woods, his clothes drenched with sweat in the heat of summer. The smells of the flowering plants and the songs of the birds surrounded him. God had surely created a beautiful world for man to live in. It was too bad there were people filled with greed and hatred to spoil it.

  Above him, two bright red birds took flight, following each other in an age-old mating dance. Isaac smiled. He couldn’t help but think of Zofia. Her lovely black sausage curls caressing her back, her smile that lit up his world. Her eyes, those eyes… When Isaac looked into Zofia’s eyes, he saw God, the beauty of true love, but when he looked deeper, he knew she hid the pain of the terrible things she’d seen. Every part of him wanted nothing more than to shelter her from ever knowing any more tragedy. But would he be able to do this? He was a man, only one man, against an entire army of demons. How could he keep her safe? And, now, she was pregnant, and yes, it was a true blessing, but he also felt that Shlomie was right. It was his fault. The woman he loved would bring his child into the world in the dead of winter. Would she survive? Would the child survive? They must. He must be sure that they did. He saw a squirrel move up a tree and pulled the arrow back in his bow. Isaac sent the arrow flying through the air, but he missed. He was far too lost in thought to hunt. They needed the food, but he couldn’t seem to focus. Perhaps he would ask Shlomie to go fishing with him. That would be a good time to make peace, to apologize. Together they’d always been able to bring back something, even if it was only a few small fish. Yes, he would talk to Shlomie. The idea felt right.

  Isaac found Shlomie gathering wood for a fire. He walked over to him.

  “I’m sorry,” Isaac said. “I’m sorry for what happened earlier.”

  Shlomie nodded not meeting I
saac’s eyes.

  “We could use some meat. I went hunting today, but I didn’t do well, didn’t catch a thing, in fact. Would you like to go fishing?’

  “I suppose,” Shlomie said. “We could use the fish. Zofia needs meat. And milk too.”

  “We will have to go to one of the farms and steal the milk from the cows for her,” Isaac said. “I mean I will have to go. You don’t have to. It’s not your responsibility.”

  “I want to go. We’ll go together.” Shlomie had never stopped loving Zofia, even though he knew she had given her heart to Isaac.

  “Thank you, Shlomie. I appreciate everything.”

  “I know you do. And I know how much you love her.”

  “I do love her, Shlomie. I do.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  And so do you, Isaac thought.

  Chapter 69

  Seff healed quickly and turned out to be an asset to the group. He was a fast learner. When Isaac showed him how to hunt with the bow and arrow, within a week he was able to reach his target. He was not a complainer, and for that Isaac was grateful. The more Isaac knew him, the more that he found that he enjoyed Seff’s company. This made him feel guilty for wanting to turn the man away. But he still felt that Zofia was his most important concern, and the thought of putting her at risk still made him anxious. Zofia mattered more to Isaac than anything else. Everything he did, he did with Zofia’s welfare first and foremost in his mind. When he went hunting or fishing, Isaac’s thoughts were always to bring back enough for Zofia. So far, she maintained her slender figure. The only time he could see any evidence of her pregnancy was when she was naked. And then he was so struck by her beauty and by this wonderful gift that God had given him, he found it hard to catch his breath. Zofia… Even the thought of her brought a smile to his face. He let his mind drift for a moment to her long hair floating across her back, her skin the color of white roses.

  “Thank you, God,” he whispered to the earth and sky as he walked through the forest alone carrying his bow and arrow. This was his time for deep thought. This was his time for planning. Someday, as soon as this ended, he would find a way to build a wonderful life for his wife and child. If he had to work twenty-four hours a day, he would to make sure they were comfortable. Isaac saw a large hare move in the grass. Quietly he adjusted his bow and arrow. Then he shot. Zofia would have meat tonight.

  Isaac returned carrying the rabbit. When Zofia saw him, her eyes lit up like the evening stars as a smile broke across her face.

  “You brought meat?”

  “Yes. I had a good shot.”

  “That’s wonderful. Why don’t we take a walk and see if we can’t find some carrots and onions to make a stew. Then there will be plenty for everyone.”

  “You mean the farm down the road?”

  “Yes, we could walk there and gather some vegetables.”

  “It’s risky during the day. I’d rather wait until night,” Isaac said.

  “But then we can’t make a stew tonight.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to steal vegetables out in the open, Zofia.”

  “Well, I’m going. You can come with me or not. It’s your choice.”

  He looked at her; she was so pretty, and so stubborn. He shook his head. “I won’t let you go without me. It’s just too dangerous.”

  “Then you’d better get moving, because I’m going.” She smiled at him, and he felt as if a light from heaven had come to light up this small cabin in the woods.

  “You win. All right, let’s go,” he said and laughed at how easily she could sway him.

  Zofia took the basket down from the shelf that Ben had built in the cabin just as Shlomie came in carrying two small fish.

  “Where are you going?” Shlomie asked.

  “Isaac and I are going to the farm down the road to gather some vegetables for a stew tonight. Isaac caught a rabbit.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Shlomie said.

  Isaac leaned back and stretched. When Zofia and Shlomie had walked outside, he took one of the guns from the small pile and put it into his pants pocket. He strapped his bow and arrow across his back. I’ve become such a mountain man, he thought. Then, he thought again of his life before, of his parents. “Oh, Mama, I miss you and Papa. I wish you could have known my Zofia. She is such a special girl. You would have loved her.” He found himself talking aloud to no one. He smiled, and it was a sad smile. He missed them both. If only things had been different. Right now, his mother would be helping to plan the wedding for him to marry Zofia. And, Zofia would not be pregnant, that’s for sure. He laughed a little aloud. He probably would not have touched her until their wedding night, when she would have worn a modest white gown, and he would have gingerly removed it. Of course, there would have been naysayers because of her previous pregnancy. In fact, if he were honest with himself, his mother would not have approved. Ah, well, things have a way of working themselves out. It’s God’s will that we be together, and I am thankful for that. It is my greatest blessing in life, but I cannot help but miss my parents even though I know that if you were both here, Zofia and I would have a more difficult time being together. There is good in bad, and bad in good. Nothing is ever all black or white, he thought, shaking his head. Then he went to join his friends.

  Zofia kissed him full on the lips when Isaac approached her. The warmth of the sun shining on his face and the sweetness of her kiss made him smile.

  “Come on you two love birds, let’s get going,” Shlomie said.

  “Are you sure you want to do this? This could be dangerous. I don’t like to leave the forest until night.” Isaac repeated, hoping Zofia would see reason.

  “We will be quick, Zofia said.

  Isaac nodded.

  There was no sign of anyone when they approached the farm. Isaac stood guard, looking in all directions, his hand under his shirt, gripping his pistol, while the other two began to gather vegetables. A truck went by and the three friends looked at each other with fright in their eyes, but the vehicle did not stop.

  “I think we should go,” Isaac said, a little annoyed that he’d allowed Zofia to convince him to do this perilous thing. He’d allowed her to put herself at risk. At any time, the truck could return or send others to come for them. This was just plain foolishness.

  “All right, Shlomie and I have gathered enough for now,” Zofia said, her voice soft. She sensed that Isaac was on alert, his tone had been curt and caustic.

  “Come on. Let’s move swiftly,” Isaac said.

  The three friends walked quickly away, heading back to the safety of the forest. Isaac thought that they looked like three children walking home from school, except for their age, their tattered and dirty clothes, and more importantly, their terrified expressions.

  Zofia smiled at Isaac. It was a timid smile, but as it always did, it lit the fire in his heart. He couldn’t stay angry with her. He wrapped his arm through hers and kissed the top of her hair. But he continued to be on edge and watching until they were deep into the woods.

  It was almost a mile walk back to the cabin. But under the protection of the trees, Isaac’s tension lifted and he began to relax.

  Chapter 70

  Zofia was giddy. She felt almost child-like walking through the sun-filtered trees with Isaac, the man who’d brought purpose to her life and her best friend, Shlomie. True, it had been a scare when the truck chugged by. But it was only a farmer. The back of the truck was open and filled with hay. Of course, there was reason to be cautious, but she was so tired of caution. It was summer and she was in love. Zofia wanted to be careless, to be free, and to be young. Silly thoughts these were, especially with all the dangers that surrounded them. Isaac was right; they were so close to the end of this war. Any day this could all be over, why take any risks now. Play it safe. She shivered at the thought. Why had she wanted so desperately to take the chance of being caught? What was it in her that wanted to take that step over the edge? The joyous feelings of summer began
to disappear, being replaced with self-reproach. Zofia shuddered at her own stupid actions. Maybe it was hormonal imbalance from the pregnancy, but she began to think of what could have happened. I am so lucky to be alive, to have Isaac, and all of our friends. To be safe. Tears sprung to her eyes. She would not take a risk like this again.

  Isaac saw that Zofia was crying. He stopped and turned to take her in his arms.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, confused. Just a few moments ago, she’d been laughing and squeezing his arm. He lifted her face so that her eyes could meet his. “You’re crying.” He wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. “Zofia?”

  “I’m sorry. I put us all at risk. I am so sorry.” She was sobbing.

  “Women get very strange when their pregnant,” Shlomie said, “one minute happy, the next sad.”

  “Quiet, Shlomie,” Isaac said. “Now, darling, talk to me,” Isaac said, sitting down on a rock and pulling Zofia gently to sit on his knee. “Don’t cry, please.”

  “I am really sorry. When I think of what could have happened… I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before we left. I am so confused, Isaac.”

  “Shhhh…” He patted her back like a baby and cradled her in his arms. “It’s alright.”

  Shlomie shook his head. “I’m going back to the cabin. This is a little nauseating. I’ll see you two love birds in a little while.”

  “Go,” Isaac said, Zofia still emotional in his arms. He rocked her gently until she calmed down.

  “I don’t know what got into me,” she said.

  “It’s all right, nothing happened. We are all fine.”

  “Yes.” She nodded and swallowed hard. “But we won’t do that again.” Why was she so irrational? She had never been this way when she was pregnant with Eidel. Yet, with Eidel, she’d been terribly sick. This time, at least, she’d not experienced that awful nausea. Every pregnancy must be different. Still, from now on she must make a conscious effort to control her rash behavior.