It was unclear who was dominating who now and my control was nearly at its end.
“Do you want this?” I whispered so close to her ear that she shivered. Feeling her swallow again around my hands sent another jolt of passion to my cock.
“Yes.”
Her answer gave my horny, frustrated ego the green light. I’d been suffering watching her from a far and now I’d made my decision to break the golden rule, I figured I may as well enjoy it.
Chapter Thirteen
In all honesty Jake didn’t need to do anything, feeling his dick wedged into the small of my back was enough to make my panties get wetter and my mind shut down. It was heavenly to focus on the moment and not think about everything else for a while. I’d worked so hard to stay on the straight and narrow, that it wasn’t hard to convince myself that I needed to blow off a little steam and enjoy myself.
The moment I agreed I wanted this, I felt his tongue poke out of his mouth and lick the back of my neck. The wetness of it combined with the stubble of his beard was enough to make my legs sway, so much, that Jake pulled me closer to him to stop me from falling.
The hand at my throat ventured back down my chest, to cup my breast and tease my nipple, whilst the other hand made light work of popping the button and lowering the zipper on my shorts.
God… God! I’d never had attention like this, my one and only venture had purpose, not passion. I needed to enter womanhood and lose my virginity on my terms and not my family’s.
I began to shamelessly moan as I leaned back into him to signal I wanted more, I didn’t know what more was on offer, but I knew I needed it. I desperately wanted a kiss, so I offered my lips to him and he understood straight away, driving his between them and forcing control over my mouth.
Control, was everything I’d always hated and resented, but this, this was different. This was the type of control I yearned for.
I felt his hand venture lower past the edge of my panties and my thighs responded accordingly by shamelessly widening, to give him access. I felt him hum his approval into my mouth and then couldn’t decide which of his tongue in my mouth, goatee beard ravaging my chin or fingers teasing my sex below, felt the best.
Although I’d gained some muscle, I was nothing compared to Jake, even his fingers felt huge, knowing the complete package that I’d seen in the shower made me nervous and excited all rolled into one.
Jake lightly tapped the front of my most intimate area, over and over, indicating his intentions but being respectful enough to give me the chance to shut it down. “Please,” I begged. I was wet, so wet that his long thick finger slid straight inside me and after a slow and precise start, it quickly progressed to the point that I was grinding up against him. I’d never felt it so intense like this and if I died tomorrow, at least I’d die having had an orgasm induced by someone other than myself or a vibrator.
“Let it go,” I heard him command my body and with no hope of doing anything else, it finally reached the point it had been rushing towards as he worked me through it. My head was silent as it worked to exhaustion, following my body and for a while all I could hear was my own heavy breathing, sensing he was ready for more, he slowly dragged his fingers out of my body. Still aware that he was holding me up, I felt him push my shorts and panties down my body, as he lowered me to the floor mats.
“Remove the top, let me see all of you.” I didn’t argue with him and loved watching his eyes go frantic when the fresh air made my naked nipples pucker, “Beautiful.”
“Let… let me see you,” I bravely said and watched as his fingers positively removed the running shorts his dick was desperately straining to escape. When he came down to bended knees beside me, I felt a momentary shred of panic, wondering how he was going to fit inside me and that soon he’d figure out I was inexperienced. Feeling the need to give him a heads up, “I’m… I don’t… I’m not,” damn! I couldn’t get the words out.
“I get it, it’s been a while. Unless you’ve been with my old man?” His raised eyebrows made me laugh, “Just go with it baby,” he whispered and picked up my foot as he knelt in front of me. I watched his fingers progress gradually up my leg, enjoying the sensations he caused. I adored that I felt he was being respectful, trying to prove he’d taken on my fear and would stop if I needed it. I knew he was using that moment to reassure himself that I was on board with proceeding.
My fingers were demanding the opportunity to touch him, I needed to feel his girth and test the weight of his dick, shit, I just wanted to hold a real man. I may never get this close to such a fine specimen again and I knew I needed to be more involved. I leant forward, my intention clear, “Let me,” I whispered and he immediately sat back on his haunches making his divine erection protrude. Taking in the sight of it, the washboard abs and the tattoos, I nervously touched it with my finger tips. Its reaction was to bob up and down in a demand for more, wrapping my fist around it caused Jake to hiss in pleasure and although I wanted to see the lust in his eyes, I was too mesmerized by the beauty in my hands. Finding a rhythm I liked, I became invested in seeing this through.
“You watched me, I know you saw me fuck my own fist, you’ve remembered how I like it,” I couldn’t deny his compliment on remembering how he manipulated himself. Of course I remembered, I remembered everything. Every God damn thing. It was the forgetting that I hadn’t mastered. “Stop,” Jake pleaded, “You’re going to unman me.”
Feeling like I’d done something wrong, I withdrew quickly until I realized what he meant. I had to stop letting my own inexperience drive this, if I was to get the life shattering experience out of it, he needed to control it for both of us.
Jake guided me to my back and then licked his own palm before transferring that lubrication to his dick. He knew I’d struggle, even with the result of my own pleasure, fitting that dick inside me was going to be a stretch. “Tell me to stop,” he pleaded as he was positioned at my entrance, “Tell me to back off and I will.”
I knew it was wrong to continue, especially with what I was planning, but I still couldn’t bring myself to stop him. Jake let as much time pass as his passions and frustrations would allow him and I began to mewl with contentment as his continued to enter my body. “God, fuck, gorgeous. Tight, so tight,” he muttered to himself and I realized that I’d never been involved in any act of sexual pleasure with a person who was actually enjoying it.
When I arranged to sleep with Rocco, he did it because I was the daughter of the boss and not complying with my order would have gotten him into as much trouble as actually going through with it did. In the end, my experience was a rushed activity based on necessity and not really enjoyed by either of us.
Jake brought me back to the here and now, he’d moved up onto his hands and skillfully encouraged me to wrap my legs around his waist.
“Oh God,” I cried, the feeling of this new position only made him feel deeper, he was touching spots I’d never discovered before.
“I can feel you,” he panted, pumping into me. “I can feel you suckin’ me inside you.” I could feel it too, I knew what I doing to him. I was coiling and tightening my insides because they were ready for their next release.
“More Jake, more,” I begged, I needed to feel that high my body was chasing and fall over that cliff with it. My request was rewarded with his compliance and the sounds that Jake began to make were my undoing.
“That’s it, fuck baby,” he grunted and stopped so abruptly, I could feel the throb and swell of his dick within me as he finished. I encouraged him to collapse on top of me, I needed to feel the intimacy of his close contact. I needed to commit it to memory for the future and try to convey words that I was just too scared, too weak to voice. Inside I screamed I’m sorry, I shouted that I couldn’t trust him and I didn’t think I could ever trust anyone again. I wanted to cry because of this gift he’d given me. For once in my life I was going to have a memory of something that I’d want to remember and relive again and again.
Jake touched my fac
e in a gentle manner, his eyes were searching, hoping I was OK and didn’t regret what we’d done. I returned what I hoped was a smile of reassurance. Trying to form words would have been my downfall, words would have lead to tears and I didn’t want that.
“You OK?” He finally voiced.
“Yeah,” I whispered, knowing he sensed the conflict within me.
“I’ll let you get showered and freshen up, we can talk then.”
I waited for him to move, but wondered what he thought there was left to talk about. It was ingrained deeply not to trust and the mysterious mobile phone meant he was hiding something and I had to leave whilst I had the chance.
I didn’t shower when I visited the bathroom and managed to avoid looking in the mirror a moment later as I put on fresh clothes. I transferred my money to a back pack and waited. When I was sure he was in the house, I crept across the yard, through the gate and jogged to my trusty old sedan, my parking lot savior.
To my dismay, once again the keys were missing. Emotionally, I’d taken all the knocks I could, so I collapsed to the floor and admitted defeat. My tears came finally and they weren’t cathartic, they were a jumble of emotions I’d worked hard not to feel for months now.
I made the decision to just start walking, if I did that I could be on my way and away from the pain I was feeling. It was a mixture of betrayal and sadness, “Why are you still runnin’?” I heard from behind me.
I didn’t answer.
“Tell me. I don’t regret what we just did, but talk to me.”
I still couldn’t answer.
He’d won, they’d all won. They’d finally broken down my fighting spirit.
“Just tell me somethin’ and I’ll give you the keys.”
Unable to hold in the pressure that had built for so long, I let him have it. “Because you lied, I wanted so bad to trust you and I can’t. I’m so fucking alone and I’m as good as dead no matter what I do,” I screamed.
“I lied?”
“I found the phone in the kitchen. I know you checked into me,” I said, starting to sob.
“Of course I did Cara, that’s just me being smart,” he explained rationally.
“Well this is me being smart too, I want my keys.”
“I want to help you babe, Cara come on,” he was talking to me gently, like a parent placating a child.
“You can’t and I’m not Cara.”
“I guessed that already but I’m not Jake either. I’ll tell you if you stay.”
“No, it’s all lies. Everything is false. I did it to protect you and your dad, but you didn’t you played me. Made me trust you and then deceived me.” He gave me my keys and I made to get in the car.
“Don’t drive off like this.”
“I can’t stay!” I wailed, “I can only rely on me. It’s always down to me.”
“At least calm down before you go and then check into a motel, take this number and call later. When you’re ready we’ll talk.” I took the paper from his hand and memorized the digits in an instant, balling up the piece of paper and throwing it at the ground by his feet. I started the engine on my getaway car and left the parking lot. I cried as I looked in the rear view mirror, he’d been helping me, he was the second person in a long time to help me survive.
Leaving hurt so much but I had to be smart.
Watching him, as he faded into the distance behind me, the guy who’d snuck in and stolen my heart, was just one other thing I’d never be able to forget.
Chapter Fourteen
*****
Jake
“So, what have you got?” I was impatient and I knew I was ramming that vibe down the phone line. I’d heard it beeping when I got back into the house, what I didn’t understand was why the text message was asking me why I hadn’t called him back.
Called him back? I didn’t even know I had a call to respond to. Then it clicked into place, Cara’s mood change at breakfast and the fuck that felt like an ending rather than the beginning of something spectacular.
That was what prompted me to go and check on her in the first place and seeing her creep across the lot with a back pack on was the last thing I expected. Luckily I was more worried about her running away and being half trained, something about her screamed revenge at times and giving her just a little bit of knowledge and a lot more confidence could have been just as dangerous. I had a feeling she was getting tired of waiting for the bad guys. Removing the sedan keys was supposed to be another shock and awe training lesson, not a fully fledged exercise. Her reaction at not being able to use the car wasn’t what I expected, her instinct should have kicked in and she should have ran, not crumbled and cried.
“I’m thinkin’ you need to scrape this one off.”
“That bad?”
“Could be, bad enough that I’m thinkin’ Dolly and my girls need a vacation, just until I’m sure I’ve covered my tracks enough. If I haven’t Hawkstown is gonna be crawlin’ with dodgy fuckin’ Feds, the Mob or both.”
“Shit. Let’s have it,” my friend was rarely spooked. Scared stupid enough to get practical and start using his gun oil in large quantities, yes, but spooked enough to tell someone to back down, never.
“The prints match a woman by the name of Antonia Acerbi, youngest missing daughter of the Acerbi Cartel.”
“And? Not a name that jumps to mind.”
“So well covered even the Feds don’t talk about them openly. There reach is far and wide my man, right up the fuckin’ food chain.”
“Fuck.”
“This is the real deal, this fuckin’ lot make the rest look like small time players.”
“I don’t get it, she’s a daughter, but I’ve seen her Jonas and this is more than not wantin’ to go home to daddy because he won’t let you have a new Benz.” I was looking out of the kitchen window, trying like hell to give my full attention to my pal and not remembering the ball blazing sex I’d had on the mats I could see.
“Money. It’s always about the money and she’s got it.”
“Bullshit, I’ve seen the stash she’s got and it fits into a back pack, if they’re huntin’ her over that little bit of green then they aren’t that big of a deal.”
“No brother, Antonia Acerbi is the money, she’s the family fuckin’ accountant.”
“Bullshit.”
“Put it together man, think about, Antonia Acerbi, she’s the real deal. Double A.”
At that I nearly passed out, “No fuckin’ way.” I whispered, “Antonia Acerbi, AA… Jesus Christ! I thought Double A was a name the Feds and IRS made up to scare rookies and claim overtime.”
“Apparently not and you need to get rid. She’ll bring hell fire with her if they figure out where she is.”
“Maybe,” I replied with no conviction.
“You’ve tapped it haven’t you?”
“Do I ask when you last fucked the wife Jo? No,” I snapped.
“I’ll take that as a yes then,” he surmised correctly in return.
“Listen man, tell me you were careful. It’s impossible to pick out the good Feds from the bad when somethin’ this valuable is in play and I have a feelin’ that once she’s known to either camp, she’s as good as dead.”
“Don’t fuckin’ insult me,” he growled back. “I’m sensin’ you’re gonna ignore my advice.”
“Too fuckin’ right,” I chuckled.
“Figured as much, seriously though, you need a safe place, you call.”
“Thanks Jonas, Later.” Hanging up the phone I realized I couldn’t wait for her to come back and she couldn’t call me because she’d discarded my number. I had to track her down and make sure she was safe.
Reaching for my other cell phone, I opened the app that would show the GPS map reference of the tracker I’d planted in the money, sending a prayer of thanks that she’d been predictable enough to take it with her. She wasn’t far away, still close enough for me to get on the road and make my way to her.
I felt responsible for her now, afte
r all, she was probably fairly safe holed up in the cabin or just helping my dad. If we hadn’t pushed it, she’d still be here.
What an absolute crock of shit that was, if I hadn’t fucked her on the practice mats she’d possibly still be here. I just needed to convince myself that tracking her down was definitely about keeping her safe and not because I wanted to feel her legs wrapped about me whilst she was grinding against my cock.
One last update call to make, “Dad, the game just changed, it’s time to come home.”
Chapter Fifteen
I made it fifty miles down the road before I felt my chest begin to burn. Opening myself up, just a little bit, to feel something had changed the rules of the game. I wasn’t sure I could go back to just existing again. What was the point in just existing?
Feeling affection, not even love, just simple affection being returned from someone who wanted to share in the moment was enough to confirm that. Jake wasn’t a man forced to love me because it was what the family expected and approved of. He was attracted to me because I was attractive, simple as that. In that moment I was a desirable woman, with no killer baggage, pretty enough for a man to want to have sex with.
I wondered how I’d feel when my family finally discovered me, there was no chance at forgiveness, I’d burned that bridge. Was the pain of feeling physical loss the same as feeling spiritual loss? Who knew, I’d given up any kind of belief system a long time ago, but whatever the outcome, I knew one day I’d find out.
The thought of starting again was as exhausting as it was depressing. Every time I squinted in the sunlight streaming through the windows, I dared myself to fully shut my eyes. I challenged myself to end it all by shutting my eyes and slamming my foot on the gas pedal.
I could do that and make it all go away. I could bring things to an end in an instant.
In all the months I’d been preparing myself for the inevitable, I’d never really considered taking my own life. It had taken a single guy, a chance meeting and a raging need to feel alive again to make that happen.
Survivor (The Soul Mates Series Book 1) Page 7
