How To Fall In Love

by Bella Jewel

  “You?” I wheeze. “You mean your big, butch friend here? Because last time I checked, you had no balls and had to hire a gorilla from the local zoo to do your dirty work.”

  Okay, so I probably asked for the punch that butch bitch lands to my gut after my crude comments. A pained grunt leaves my mouth and pain shoots through my stomach and ribs. It’s sharp and intense. That can’t be good.

  “What did you say about me?” Butch growls.

  “Only the truth.” I gasp between pants.

  She hits me again, this time harder. My legs go out from beneath me, and I crumple to my feet as she lets me go. Pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt rips through my belly and tears burst to my eyes. Missy leans down and yells, “Stay away from him, or it’ll be worse!”

  Then she rallies up her friends and disappears into the school.

  Great. Just great.

  ~*~*~*~

  I can’t stand, because it hurts way too much. The bell has already gone, and everyone has cleared out, so it’s just me, pressed against a stranger’s car, gasping for air. My stomach hurts, and I think there’s a bruise or two forming. Maybe one of my ribs is broken. That girl can punch. I need to get up, go home and rest this one out. It’ll teach me for opening my big mouth.

  The sound of a rumbling truck catches my attention, and I jerk my head up to see Rainer pulling into the parking lot. Late, as always. Of course he would choose today, a day when I really don’t need him to see me. I try to shift, but the pain really is too much. Maybe I’ll just act casual, as if I’m sitting here being a rebel and skipping class.

  I watch as he jumps out of his car, a few of his friends getting out behind him. They’re laughing and smoking, completely oblivious to me. Hopefully it stays that way. They start to walk off, when one of his friends, Jimmy I think his name is, says, “Isn’t that your friend, Rainer?”

  Rainer turns and fixes his eyes on me, and I watch as they narrow. Great. Really. Great. He waves his friends on and then tosses his pack on the back of his truck before jogging over to my side. When he stops in front of me, his brown eyes scan over me, before he asks, “What’re you doin’ here, Emy? Class has started.”

  “Ah,” I say and my voice comes out pained. “I’m, just . . . chilling.”

  I’m a bad liar.

  He narrows his eyes. “Chilling? I don’t think so. I know you better than that. What’re you really doing?”

  Shit.

  “I, ah, just fell. Hurt my ankle.”

  “Shit,” he says, kneeling. “You should have called me.”

  He lifts my ankle and inspects it, frowning because there’s not any swelling. He puts it back down and lifts the other, causing my body to jerk a little. A pained groan leaves my throat and I press a hand to my stomach without even thinking. He drops my ankle and reaches over, grabbing my shirt. I try to slap his hand away, but he’s too quick. He lifts it and his eyes flare with rage as he sees the dark bruises starting to form.

  “What the fuck happened to you?”

  I wave a hand. “I fell.”

  “Bullshit. Do you think I’m stupid? My dad has knocked me around enough for me to know when something is there from a fist and not a simple trip. Who did this?”

  “Rainer, come on, it’s fine.”

  His eyes flash with rage and he barks, “Who did this, Emalie?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You’re lying!”

  “Rainer please,” I say and much to my horror, a tear slides down my cheek.

  “Fuck,” he says, leaning over and scooping me into his arms. “Sorry.”

  “Why are you carrying me?” I manage through choked tears.

  “Because you’re hurt. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

  “I don’t need the hospital,” I protest. “I just need sleep.”

  He frowns. “You could have internal damage.”

  “I’m fine. Please, Rainer. Just take me home.”

  He stares down at my face and his jaw tics. “You’re not going to tell me who did this, are you?”

  I shake my head, looking away.

  “I don’t like it, Emy. Don’t fuckin’ like it at all.”

  “I know,” I say softly.

  He places me in his truck gently, and I wince in pain as I’m forced to move.

  Neither of us say anything more, but I know how much this is bothering him.

  I just can’t tell him who did it.

  CHAPTER NINE

  NOW – MALI

  I can’t take my eyes off him, no matter how hard I try—and believe me, I’m trying. There’s an air about him that just can’t be unseen. He moves across the ring with grace, his big body flexing and pulling. Max moves with a more determined, fierce aggression, but Rainer? It’s as if he was born for it. The two of them dance around each other like lions, sizing each other up. I honestly don’t know how they can bring themselves to fight when they’re good friends outside of the ring.

  “How hot are they?” Belle asks, leaning in so she can talk in my ear over the roaring of the crowd.

  I nod. “Hot. I can’t believe they are so at ease in there.”

  “Would you believe that Rainer and Max hated each other only weeks ago? They got into a massive fight one night, because Max thought I was sleeping with Rainer, which I obviously wasn’t. Anyway, after the fight, Max decided to take Rainer on, because he fought so well.”

  I raise my brows. “Seriously?”

  “Yep.”

  “I never thought Rainer would be much of a fighter. Not that I don’t think he can’t do it, because he can, he just usually tries so hard to keep his cool.”

  She smiles. “I think it’s his way of expelling pent-up energy. Rainer is calm only because he doesn’t know any other way to be.”

  “Do you know him well then?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “Not well. All I know is he and Pippa have a long past that’s ugly. Pippa hasn’t gone into detail with me, but the two of them grew close due to a life experience together. I think she’ll tell me about it one day when she’s ready.”

  So I was right. Pippa and Rainer have connected over something. I just want to know what that something is. I’m not sure Pippa is going to offer that information up easily. I mean, if she hasn’t told Belle, there’s a good chance she’s not going to tell anyone. Which could make things difficult. She holds the answers, all of them, but I have no idea how to get them out of her.

  I focus back on the ring just in time to see Rainer drive a swift punch into Max’s face. I gasp, pressing a hand over my mouth, horrified but fascinated all at the same time. Max returns the favor, ducking and slamming a fist into Rainer’s belly. The two of them fight hard then, fists flying, legs swinging, bodies dodging.

  And it’s mesmerizing.

  As I watch Rainer’s big body move, I get hotter and hotter. He’s so beautiful, so graceful and yet so deadly. His face is a hard mask and his muscles flex and pull as he moves around the ring as if he was born ready for it. I press a hand over my heart as the fight comes to a close, with Rainer taking the win. The crowd erupts in screams and the sound is deafening.

  “Holy shit, if I didn’t love my husband so much, I’d wish I was the lucky girl getting to take all that energy tonight,” Belle says staring at Rainer.

  Yes, I wonder what it would be like to fuck him right now, while he’s hot and bothered like that.

  “She’ll be very lucky indeed,” I agree, keeping my eyes on him.

  He spits some blood from his mouth and his eyes scan the crowd. My heart flutters. Is he looking for me? His eyes move straight past me, and focus on Pippa, and that’s when I see it. There’s a softness there, a deep, intense softness that can only mean one thing. Rainer is in love with her. I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier, and at the realization, something breaks inside me.

  I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that.

  God dammit, what am I doing here? What am I trying to prove?

  “
I need some fresh air,” I say to Belle, before turning and shoving through the crowd.

  I push towards the stairs and shove my way through person after person, desperate to get out. There’s a deep pain in my chest that I didn’t realize had gotten so intense. It was okay when Rainer was just Rainer, it was okay that I didn’t know his past, and it was okay that he didn’t remember me. But what’s not okay is the idea that he is in love with another woman. And he is. Hard. His eyes expressed a longing for her that I would die to have aimed at me.

  A tear bursts forth and I keep pushing through the crowd until I reach the front door. The moment the cool, spring breeze hits my face, I gasp it in, taking big, painfully large lungfuls of it until my hands stop trembling. I can’t stop the tears through. I stumble on my heels and an agony unlike anything I’ve ever felt tugs on my heart, seeming to suffocate me from the inside out. I mutter excuse mes to the crowd of people until I’m by the road.

  I look left, and then right. I can’t see any cabs. I guess I’m going to have to call one. I fumble for my phone when a presence comes up behind me. I feel it so strongly, and I know before he speaks that it’s him. Why the hell would he come after me? He doesn’t even remember my face, so why the hell should he care what happens to me? My body goes stiff, but I keep my eyes focused on the road.

  “Everything okay?” he asks, his voice low and thick. “I saw you rush out. Are you sick?”

  He’s just being a good citizen. Of course he is. Why the hell wouldn’t he do the gentlemanly thing and make sure I’m safe? I want to scream in frustration, but I just keep my eyes to the road.

  “I’m fine,” I say, but my voice is thick and broken. “I just need to get home.”

  He curls his fingers around my arm and spins me towards him. He’s still shirtless, seemingly unaffected by the group of girls who have stopped to gawk at him. He’s got sweat running down his chest, his face is slightly bruised, and there’s a little blood around his lip. He smells incredible. Like a man would smell right after sex. Wild sex.

  “You’re crying,” he says, studying my face, running those gorgeous brown eyes over me as if he truly cares.

  “And?”

  His brows furrow. “Something upset you.”

  “Yes, but it’s fine. I’m going to go home. Great fight.”

  He doesn’t let me go. “You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”

  I flinch. “I beg your pardon?”

  “You . . . you have something in your eyes. Hurt. I don’t know what from, but I effect you somehow.”

  God, he’s too smart for his own good. He always was. He used to be able to read me like a book and it would seem it’s the same now. I look away, because if I meet his eyes, I’m afraid he’ll see the pain in their depths. The real pain. The pain of knowing the man I love so dearly is in love with another woman.

  “You just remind me of someone I . . . loved.”

  He’s silent for a moment. “Did something happen to him?”

  “Something like that,” I whisper.

  “I’m sorry I bring back painful memories.”

  My eyes flash up to his. “No, not it’s not like that at all. Believe it or not, I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”

  His eyes study my face, and his mouth softens slightly, lips parting just a touch. “Yeah,” he finally says. “I think you’re pretty good too.”

  “Anyway,” I say, forcing a smile. “I should get home.”

  “You got a ride?”

  I shake my head. “I’ll call a cab.”

  “No,” he says. “I’ll take you.”

  “No Rainer, it’s fine. We . . . you don’t have to do that.”

  He puts a hand up. “Least I can do.”

  “I don’t want to push this,” I protest as he pulls a cell phone from his pocket. I have no idea how that got there. It certainly couldn’t have been there when he was fighting. He must have grabbed it on his way out after me. “You and I . . . we agreed that we would just act casual about all of this, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing for more or that any of this is an act . . .”

  “Do you always talk so much, Mali?” he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. I haven’t seen that twinkle since we were younger.

  My heart swells a little. “No,” I say sheepishly.

  He presses his phone to his ear and a second later, he says, “Pip, hey, any chance you could do me a big favor?”

  My heart squeezes. Dammit.

  “Yeah, I need to take Mali home, but my keys are in my locker. Are you still down there?”

  He smiles, his eyes so bright, so into every single word she’s saying.

  “Thanks, beautiful.”

  Beautiful. Oh God that hurts.

  “Out front.”

  He hangs up and turns back to me, and I force another smile as we wait. Less than five minutes later, Pippa appears, looking like a fallen angel. She smiles at us and walks over, handing Rainer his keys. “Thanks, gorgeous,” he says, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.

  “No problem.” She smiles. “Is everything okay, Mali?”

  “I think I just drank those cosmos a little fast. I have a belly-ache,” I lie.

  Her face flashes with genuine concern. God dammit, I’m so jealous of her, but I can see why he adores her. She’s got a beautiful personality.

  “Oh no,” she says. “I hope you’re going to be okay?”

  I nod. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for tonight, Pippa. I had a great time.”

  She steps out of Rainer’s arms with a smile up at him, and walks over, hugging me too. She’s so tiny, even next to someone petite like me. I hug her back and then watch as she flashes Rainer a warm, affectionate look, before disappearing into the club.

  “Ready?” he asks.

  As I’ll ever be.

  ~*~*~*~

  “You’re in love with Pippa?”

  I say this as we travel down the long, dark road back towards the main center of the city. Rainer’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel.

  “What makes you think that?”

  I laugh softly. “I’ve seen people in love, Rainer. I saw the way you looked at her.”

  “Doesn’t matter how I looked at her. She’s in love with another man.”

  “That wasn’t the question I asked,” I say carefully.

  “Yeah, I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her for years.”

  Even though I was expecting it, those words burn. I’m thankful the car is dark, so he can’t see the pain flash across my face.

  “How come nothing ever happened?” I go on, wanting more information but hating what might come of it.

  “Because it was a bad situation, and by the time I found her again, she was in love with Tyke.”

  “Did she ever feel the same?”

  He’s silent a while. Then he says, “No.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, because I really am. I know exactly how that feels.

  “Don’t be. It was in the past.”

  “Is that why you don’t see other women on a more permanent basis?”

  He grunts. “I thought we were just friends, Mali?”

  My back goes up. “We are. I’m not asking because I’m interested. I was just curious.”

  He goes silent again. “Sorry. That was rude.”

  I fall silent now, too, and we ride like that until we pull up at my apartment. It’s dark inside, which means Mimi is out or asleep. Probably asleep. She loves her sleep.

  “Well,” I say, reaching for the handle, “thanks, Rainer.”

  He doesn’t say anything, and I go to push the door open when he asks a question that pauses me right in the middle of it.

  “Can I come up?”

  Oh God.

  I turn and look at him, and he’s studying me. I want to ask a thousand questions, like why the hell he wants to come up, and when he does, what is it he wants to do? But I ask none of them, not because I don’t desperately want the answers, but bec
ause as far as I know, Rainer doesn’t sleep with the same woman twice, which means I’m slightly different.

  I can take that.

  “Yeah,” I say softly.

  Then I climb out of the car.

  He follows me.

  CHAPTER TEN

  THEN – MALI

  “Please, Eva, just be nice,” I moan to my sister, who is standing behind me, both of us meeting each other’s eyes in the mirror.

  “Don’t you trust me, Emalie?” She grins, her eyes flickering with amusement.

  “I do, but I want to look nice on this date, not like a clown . . .”

  She wiggles her eyebrows. “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Please, can you just be a sister for once?”

  Her eyes flash a little and she nods. “I won’t make you look horrible, Mali. I promise.”

  I nod and we both stare back towards the mirror. She takes my hair in her hands, and runs her fingers over the light blond locks. “I don’t know if there are a great deal of ways I can put this up, but I can give it style.”

  My hair is short, sitting around the tops of my shoulders. I have it that way because it’s easier, and I don’t like to have it long. I am way too lazy for that upkeep.

  “Okay,” I say, warily.

  “Trust me. It’ll look great.”

  “I hope so, because I’m not doing a good job at this as it is.”

  She pulls out a straightening iron and plugs it in, switching it on. She puts a heap of product in my hair and starts talking as she works.

  “This Jack, is he the one you had here the other week?”

  I nod.

  “The one Rainer sent packing?”

  “You heard that, huh?” I sigh.

  She nods. “It was hard to miss it.”

  “Yeah, I guess it was.”

  She runs the iron over my hair, and the warmth makes me tingle.

  “Why does he do that?” she asks.

  “Rainer?”

  “Yeah.”