How To Fall In Love

by Bella Jewel

  He shakes my hand and flashes me a grin. “You too.”

  I avoid looking to Rainer, but I don’t miss the fact that he’s stopped talking.

  “Mali,” he says and I flick my eyes to him.

  “Oh, hey Rainer.”

  Yeah, that sounded real convincing.

  He studies me, and it’s taking everything inside me not to stare at his bare, broad chest. I want to study the tattoos there; I just want to reach over and curl myself around him. Instead, I hold his gaze, focusing on his big, brown eyes.

  “Didn’t know you knew the girls.”

  “I met them the other night,” I say casually. “They invited me. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was a problem.”

  His eyes skitter down to my short dress. “It’s not,” he says.

  I shiver. Then I fidget and look towards Max. “It’s a really nice club you have here.”

  He stares at Rainer, then at me, and grins. “Yeah, it is.”

  I smile and sip my drink nervously.

  “When does the fight start?” Ash asks.

  “In about fifteen minutes. You girls have time for another drink,” Max says.

  “I’ll get some more. You girls coming?” Belle asks.

  “Sure,” I squeak.

  “Actually,” Rainer says, standing so I can see his big, beautiful body, “can I have a word, Mali?”

  He wants a word. With me? Why?

  “Sure,” I say.

  “I’ll get you a drink.” Belle nods, grinning at both of us.

  Pippa watches us curiously, and the other girls try to give me subtle thumbs up that aren’t so subtle. Good God. Rainer walks towards the back of the lockers and into a small office-like space. I step in and he closes the door behind me.

  “Please don’t ask if I came here with them to see you, because I didn’t. I didn’t even know they knew you and—”

  He spins around and studies me. “I didn’t think that.”

  “Right,” I say, looking at my hands. “So why are we in here?”

  He studies me. “I was a dick the other night.”

  I stare at him, shocked. “No you weren’t.”

  “I fuckin’ was, Mali. I fucked you and pretty much threw you out of my car.”

  I shrug. “No offence, Rainer, but I thought that was what we agreed.”

  He narrows his eyes. “You’re seriously okay with it?”

  No. Absolutely not.

  “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Most chicks just . . . they don’t . . . I get constant phone calls and they follow me everywhere. It’s usually not worth the hassle.”

  I shrug. “I’m not most chicks. I want friends, I like being fucked—it’s simple. Are you willing to give me those things, Rainer?”

  I’m such a liar. A horrible liar.

  He studies me and I start to fidget. “I don’t have many friends.”

  I smile broadly. “Well, then there’s always room for one more.”

  “Situations like these . . . they go bad. Don’t you know that?”

  “They only go bad when someone falls in love. Believe me when I say that won’t happen.”

  Because I’m already in love. I’ve been in love since I was just seventeen.

  “People always say that,” he points out, rubbing his chin.

  “You’re right, they do. Look, Rainer, we had fun, and I’m more than happy to keep it that way.” Liar. Liar. Liar. “But we have the same friends, so we’re going to run into each other. I’m always up for new friends.”

  His eyes meet mine. “Yeah, I guess I am too.”

  “Then it’s sorted.”

  His eyes narrow and he seems to become transfixed with my face, enough that I turn away. “I’d swear I’ve seen your face before.”

  I swallow and shrug stiffly. “Maybe I just look like someone you know.”

  He seems to snap out of it. “Probably. I don’t remember much about my childhood.”

  He doesn’t? That’s odd.

  “How come? Did you have an accident or something?”

  He looks away. “Or something.”

  My curiosity is nagging at me, but I let it go.

  “Rainer, time to fight,” Max calls.

  “Right,” Rainer mutters. “Well, I’ll catch you later.”

  “I’ll be the one in the red, if you decide on making friends.” I wink at him and turn, walking out. “Good luck, Rainer.”

  My heart aches, but I stride out with my shoulders back.

  I’ll be strong, even if it kills me.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THEN – MALI

  “So what do you like to do, Emily?” Jack asks as we drink our sodas and nibble on fries.

  “Honestly, I don’t get much time to do anything these days. I’m so busy with school and study that it seems I never get time to enjoy life.” I smile.

  He grins. Gosh, he’s so handsome. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

  “What do you do for fun?”

  He leans close. “Can you keep a secret?”

  I beam. “Absolutely.”

  “I paint.”

  My eyes widen. “You do? What do you paint?”

  “Mostly landscape, but I love it.”

  “That’s impressive,” I say, nodding my approval. “How long have you been doing it?”

  “Since I was seven, but most people don’t know. It would kill my reputation.”

  I frown. “I don’t see why. I think it’s really amazing.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, well, my jock friends wouldn’t think so.”

  “Who cares what they think.” I shrug, sipping my drink.

  He laughs. “If only life were so simple.”

  “Right?”

  He takes a bite of his burger and his eyes scan over my face. “So you’re friends with Rainer, yeah?”

  I blink in surprise. “Ah, sure, yeah.”

  “I didn’t think someone like him had many friends.”

  “Someone like him?”

  He puts a hand up. “Not in a bad way,” he says quickly. “I just mean he seems so . . . difficult to get along with.”

  “He can be, but we get along. I can’t really explain why.”

  “Have you been friends long?”

  So many questions. Strange.

  “About four years now. Do you know him?”

  He shrugs. “I used to. Not now.”

  “He’s a good guy.”

  His eyes flash but he seems to force a smile. “Sure, of course. Do you live near him or something? I see you ride to school with him.”

  I have no idea why he wants to know so much about Rainer, but it’s interesting that Rainer has a problem with him, and he seems to have a lot of questions about Rainer.

  “Yeah, he lives two doors down. It’s how we became friends.”

  He nods. “Awesome,” he pauses as we finish our food. “Do you want to go?”

  “Sure.” I smile, standing.

  We take a long walk on the beach before he drives me home. My house is lit up like the fourth of July. That’s one of my mom’s quirks. She likes to have everything bright and out there, so everyone who drives by can see how rich she is. Honestly, it’s horrible, and sleeping at night can prove to be difficult.

  “Your house is really cool,” Jack says, staring at it.

  “Oh, thanks.”

  I glance down to Rainer’s small two-story house, which I can see clearly from mine. I notice him standing out the front with a group of people. It seems he’s having a party. He does that a lot when his dad is out. I have no idea where he is this time, but he’s obviously not at home. Jack follows my eyes and his seem to darken when he sees Rainer, who has Missy tucked into his side.

  My chest does that strange thing again.

  “He’s having a party.” Jack grunts.

  I shrug but my chest burns with hurt. Rainer didn’t tell me he was having a party. I don’t know why that bothers me, but it does. Still, I keep it casual, like it doesn’t b
other me. Because it shouldn’t, right?

  “He does that a lot,” I mumble, “Do you want to come in?”

  “Sure.”

  We get out of the car, and I don’t miss Rainer’s eyes following us as we walk up the path. I give him a lame wave that he doesn’t return. He’s glaring at me. It’s probably the dress I borrowed off Eva—well, the dress I borrowed for the night. When we reach my front door, I use my key to unlock it. The television is blaring from the living area, but otherwise I don’t see anyone around.

  Mom doesn’t care who we bring home, so long as her house looks pristine. Dad is always working, and honestly, I sometimes forget what he looks like. My sister goes in and out whenever she wants, usually coming home later than me, but I have no idea if she’s here right now or not.

  “Your house is awesome,” Jack says, staring around. “Holy shit, it’s huge.”

  “Yeah,” I mutter, walking through the massive living area that’s decked out with the most expensive furniture. “Do you want to go to my room?”

  His eyes grow a little lusty, and he nods. He takes my hand, and my skin prickles as I walk up the winding staircase to my room. Just as we reach the door, Eva pops her head out to yell at me about something, because that’s all she knows how to do, but she stops when she sees Jack. His eyes widen, as they always do when men see my sister.

  She’s gorgeous. Long blond hair, legs to the sky, big breasts, full lips and sultry blue eyes. I’ve not met a man who doesn’t think she’s the best thing since sliced bread. Except Rainer. He can’t stand her and she feels the same way about him. The two fight like cat and dog, constantly.

  I run my hand over my neck as if I’m slitting my throat, letting her know not to open her big mouth and embarrass me. Her eyes widen.

  “Ah,” she says, “I was just checking if you were home. Carry on.”

  That’s probably the least bitchy thing she’s ever said to me. I tug Jack’s hand and he looks back to me and we both disappear into my room. I turn on the light and then lock the door.

  Jack stares around, and I know he’s impressed. My room is huge. I have my own king bed, bathroom and toilet, plus a lounge because there’s room for it. Not to mention my massive television that I never watch.

  “Holy shit, is this all yours?” he asks.

  “Yeah.”

  I sit on the edge of my bed and watch as he studies my room. When he’s done, he turns and smiles at me. Walking over, he flops down beside me and we sit in silence for a while.

  “So, thanks for tonight,” I say.

  He turns to me. “Emily, is it too forward for me to ask if I can kiss you?”

  My eyes widen, because that’s the most straightforward thing anyone has ever said to me. I expected lame conversation, awkward silences and him rushing out the door. That seemed more likely to happen. But no, he wants to kiss me. Jack wants to kiss me. I don’t even know how to react to that. I mean, of course I want him to kiss me.

  “Ah, no, not at all.” I swallow. “You can. I mean, sure, yes, sure.”

  Oh God, now I’m repeating myself.

  He smiles and reaches over, cupping my cheek in his hand. I shiver, because it feels amazing. He leans forward and the moment seems to hang on forever. My breath hitches and his warm breath tickles against my skin. God, it feels so nice to be this close to someone. Just before his lips brush mine, there’s a loud bang on my window. Jack and I leap backwards, and I spin around to see Rainer sliding my window up.

  Oh no.

  No.

  No.

  “Rainer,” I hiss when he climbs in, stands tall and crosses his arms. “What the hell?”

  Jack shifts uncomfortably beside me.

  “Just seein’ what you’re up to,” he says, glaring at Jack.

  He’s wearing boots that are undone, laces strewn over my floor. His jeans have rips in them and his shirt is tight and black, but God does he look rugged, and masculine, and hot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rainer look so hot. My heart stammers in my chest.

  “That’s none of your business,” I bite out. “Can you leave?”

  “No. Your dad asked me to watch out for you, and I don’t think he’d like you alone in here with him.” He jerks a thumb at Jack.

  He’s a giant liar. My dad doesn’t even like Rainer, and he knows it. Also, my dad doesn’t give a shit what I do because he’s an emotionless dick.

  “I think I should go,” Jack says, standing.

  “I think you should, too.” Rainer grunts.

  “Rainer!” I snap. “Can you please leave?”

  “No.”

  He keeps his arms crossed. I grind my jaw, wanting to throttle him. Jack turns to me, and smiles. “Let him act like a dick. We had a good time and he hates that he can’t control that. I’ll call you, okay?”

  “What did you fuckin’ say?” Rainer barks.

  I leap up and place a hand in the middle of his chest. “Enough,” I growl.

  Jack glares at him, then leans down and kisses my cheek. “Good night, beautiful.”

  I inwardly sigh. “Night, Jack.”

  He walks to my door and swings it open, letting himself out. As soon as the door has closed, I spin on Rainer. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Me?” he yells. “What were you thinking? First date and you’re in here letting him grope you?”

  “He wasn’t groping me, you tool. We were going to kiss but we never even got that far because you jumped in here and acted like a twat.”

  “He shouldn’t have been in here, Emy.”

  “You know what?” I screech. I’ve had enough of this. “I’m fucking done with this, Rainer. Done with it. You don’t get to decide who I do things with, and I’m sick to death of you being an asshole. Get out.”

  “Jesus, I was just—”

  “Get out!” I scream. “I’m so tired of you. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

  His eyes widen, because I’ve never screamed at him before. “Jesus, Emy, I didn’t realize it meant that much to you.”

  “Of course you wouldn’t,” I yell, and my voice hitches at the end. “You’ve been kissed, you’ve been with people, you’ve made love, I’ve done none of it because no one wants to do it with me. No one wants . . .” My voice wavers and he steps closer. “No one likes me. I’m not pretty enough. Not good enough. Not popular enough. He was willing to kiss me. He was willing to give me that when no one else will and you took it away. That’s not fair. That might be my only chance. And you t-t-t-took it away.”

  He takes another step forward and leans down so his eyes are level with mine. “You’re wrong about the lot of it. You’re more than good enough to have all of those things and more. Jesus, Emy, you’re better than anyone I know. And if you think he’s the only one who will ever want to give you that, you’re wrong. But I get it. You wanted it, and I ruined it. So there’s only one thing I can do to make that up.”

  “There’s nothing you can do,” I whisper, dropping my head.

  He takes my chin in his hands and lifts my face so my eyes meet his. “There is. I can give you what I took away.”

  Before I can say anything or protest, he steps forward and lowers his mouth at the same time. His lips hit mine, and I’m so stunned I just stand there, completely shocked. His mouth is hot, really hot, and he smells amazing. I respond without even thinking, opening my mouth to let his tongue in. I’ve never been kissed before, and the feeling is foreign. His tongue is soft, and his lips are warm but slightly scratchy.

  It feels nice.

  Really nice.

  He pulls back before I get the chance to enjoy it just a second longer. We’re both panting and when our eyes meet, I feel something tugging at my heartstrings. It’s probably just fondness for him. I adore Rainer. I always will. Yes, that’s it.

  I smile weakly and he gives me a lazy half-grin in return. Then he surprises me by pressing a kiss to my forehead before turning and walking back to my window.

  “I won’t screw shit up
for you again, Emy,” he says, sliding it up. “You deserve whatever you want.”

  With that, he leaps through the opening.

  And my heart gives me another strange tug.

  ~*~*~*~

  “So let me get this right,” Kenny says, skipping beside me as we walk to school on Monday. “Jack went to kiss you, but Rainer interfered and ended up being the one to kiss you?”

  I shrug. “Something like that. He was just being nice because he ruined my first kiss.”

  “Uh-huh,” he says. “Or maybe he wanted to kiss you.”

  “Dude, no. Rainer and I are friends. Trust me, it was a friend kiss.”

  Except the tongue. God, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the tongue.

  “Or . . .” he says. “He likes you.”

  “Trust me, I know him. He doesn’t. He’s all up in Missy’s space.”

  Kenny snorts. “Slut.”

  “Right?” I grin.

  We reach the school grounds and Kenny splits, heading to his group of friends who play chess before class. I go in the opposite direction, weaving through the cars and making my way towards the front doors. I’m just about there when a hand lashes out, curling around my wrist and tugging me backwards. I yelp and spin around, jerking my hand back, to see Missy and a group of her friends standing by a bright yellow car.

  “Can I help you?” I mutter, glaring at her.

  “Yes, you can,” she says, throwing her hands on her hips. “I want to know what your relationship is with my guy.”

  “Your man?” I snort.

  She flicks her perfect hair over her perfect damned shoulder. “Yes, Rainer. My man.”

  I roll my eyes. Rainer would love to know she’s strutting around calling him that.

  “Rainer is my best friend. Deal with it.”

  “Yeah,” she says, laughing bitterly. “See, I have a problem with that. I don’t like my man having female friends, especially when he leaves me to climb through her window . . .”

  “He often climbs through my window,” I say in a taunting tone. “In fact, he spends a lot of time sleeping in my bed with me.”

  Her face goes bright red and she nods to a big, butch friend. That friend steps forward and before I realize what’s happening, she slams me towards the nearest car so hard my head jerks back and bangs into it. Missy gets up in my face, while her butch friend holds me. “Listen up, you geeky, ugly little nerd. Rainer is mine. I don’t like your part in his life, and I’m not going to ask you twice to change it. This will be your only chance. Stay away from him, cut your friendship with him, or you’ll have me to answer to.”