Eternal Detention

by Jamie Thomson

  All was quiet.

  ‘Come on,’ whispered Dirk. He didn’t want to give their position away, but also the caverns were filled with a sinister ambience, as of the grave. It made everyone feel that to make too much noise was to break some kind of rule.

  They walked on in silence, up to the big portal. Two great uprights and a lintel of pale white stone formed the squared-off arch. The bone-white stone radiated in the grey light of the Ring with a kind of sickly pallor. Runes were carved into the pillars.

  Dirk looked at them closely. ‘Ah, as I thought,’ he whispered. ‘Shadowglyphs of the Black Tongue!’

  ‘What does it say?’ said Chris.

  ‘Hah, you have hit the nail on the bed there, Christopher,’ said Dirk, reaching out to the Runes with his hand.

  ‘Head, nail on the head,’ said Sooz, without thinking.

  Chris giggled, though not for long. The oppressive gloom crushed all laughter and joy in a heartbeat.

  Dirk paused, hand outstretched. He blinked for a moment. ‘Right, on the head, of course,’ he whispered.

  ‘You cannot read these Runes, Christopher, you see,’ whispered Rufino. ‘You can only hear them.’

  ‘And only those who are truly of the Dark can make the Shadowglyphs speak,’ said Dirk quietly. He ran his fingers over the Runes. As he did so, each Shadowglyph made a sound, the sounds coming together as words and sentences.

  A voice murmured into their ears, like waves gently lapping at a shore of corpses.

  ‘Herein Lies the Land from which

  No One Returns.’

  ‘I suppose we’re just going to ignore this, and go in, right?’ said Chris.

  ‘I suppose – hah, imagine what Mum would say!’ said Sooz.

  ‘What do you mean?’ whispered Dirk, curiously.

  ‘Well you know… Umm… “Hi, Mum, I’m just going out.” “Where are you going, dear?” “Just popping to the Land from which No One Returns, Mum.” “Oh all right then, dear, see you later!”’

  ‘Or not,’ added Chris with a grin.

  ‘Well, do not fear, little ones. Be of stout heart, and we shall prevail!’ said Rufino in a low voice.

  ‘Pah, typical Paladin optimism – it’ll be my Ring and the mighty Gargon that’ll do the prevailing!’ said Dirk under his breath. ‘Come on then, let’s go.’

  With that he stepped through the portal, the others following close behind. They walked into a huge, vaulted hallway, carved from the rock long, long ago. Massive statues of robed skeletons lined the walls. Chipped and crumbling, the decaying statues rose up and bent over, holding up the ceiling on their hunched shoulders, skeletal arms outstretched across the roof like a web of bony vines.

  ‘What is this place?’ said Rufino, staring up in awe at the vastness of it.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Dirk. ‘It is ancient beyond reckoning, even for one such as I.’

  They moved through the gloom slowly.

  Suddenly, a sound disturbed the darkness.

  ‘What was that?’ hissed Sooz. They strained their ears. Up ahead, a faint sound – there, again!

  They advanced. The vaulted ceiling gave way to raw crumbling rock, the hallway narrowing fast, filled with fallen boulders, jumbled pillars and cracked statues where it had all collapsed in. The sound grew louder…small cries in the distance.

  As of someone crying.

  Someone – or something – sobbing, in the shadows. It unnerved them all, the sound of weeping in the dark.

  ‘It is the Lady Grieve,’ whispered Dirk. ‘She mourns for her victims.’

  They came to a halt. Up ahead, a pile of fallen rock had left only a small opening. There was no way Gargon could get through. Rufino, at a pinch, by wriggling. Gargon never.

  Dirk put a hand up to his face in thought. He looked Gargon up and down. ‘Maybe if we removed his wings…’ he muttered to himself.

  Gargon stared back at him in horror.

  ‘We can’t do that!’ hissed Sooz.

  ‘No, no, don’t think it would work anyway,’ Dirk mumbled. He turned to examine the gap in the jumbled rock.

  ‘What if you used the Ring to blast a way through?’ said Rufino quietly.

  ‘I was thinking about that,’ murmured Dirk. ‘But, looking around…’ Everywhere were piles of loose rock and crumbled stone. ‘I’d be risking bringing the whole mountain down on top of us!’

  As if to underline his words, a stream of dust and pebbles slooshed down one side of the tunnel, trickling to a stop at Gargon’s great, gnarled feet.

  ‘It could block the way completely. Bury us even. No, I think we’ll just have to go on without Gargon,’ said Dirk.

  ‘Without old Gargie? But he’s our best fighter!’ said Sooz.

  Dirk shrugged. ‘No choice,’ he said.

  ‘Gargon sorry, my lady. Gargon just too big. And Gargon want to keep his wings.’

  Rufino shook his head. ‘Can’t think of a way round it, I’m afraid. Gargon will have to stay.’

  ‘Me stay here, wait for you to come back?’ said Gargon.

  ‘No, no point, my Dread Lieutenant. When we’ve got what we want, we’ll use the crystal to go straight back to Earth. Nope, you head off, back to the Iron Tower. Rest up a bit, say hello to Agrash. When we get back, I’ll send Dave with a message, let you know we’re OK.’

  ‘And if no message from Dave?’ said Gargon.

  ‘Then you’ll know we died here,’ said Dirk.

  ‘Well, at least we know we won’t die unmourned,’ said Rufino.

  ‘Quite so,’ said Dirk. ‘The Black Hag will give us a good funeral, that’s for sure!’

  ‘Well, goodbye then, old Gargie,’ said Sooz. ‘Hopefully see you later!’

  ‘Farewell, my Dark Lady,’ said the great beast. ‘Gargon see you soon.’

  ‘See if you can get Agrash to make you a guitar. You gotta keep practising – when this is over, we’ll do a gig in the Darklands or something.’

  ‘Cool, my Queen, Gargon love to play!’

  ‘All right, all right, enough of that. Come on, we’re on a quest here, not a musicians’ night out!’ said Dirk with irritation. Although it was really the fact that Gargon obviously preferred Sooz to him that annoyed him. Anyway, whatever.

  He stepped into the dark opening, beckoning the others to follow.

  Sooz held Gargon’s hand for a moment, before turning away. Gargon watched them disappear into the gloom, his fiendish red eyes filling with unshed tears.

  Beyond the narrow gate was a dusty tunnel. Here, the sound of sobbing filled the air all around them. The hot and dusty air. Each of them was parched and thirsty, each of them envying Gargon, each wishing it was all over, so that they could go home for a nice meal and a long, cold drink of lemonade.

  They trudged on. The tunnel narrowed. And narrowed. Until they had to crouch down. And down.

  Now they had to crawl.

  The darkness closed in around them like a black, suffocating blanket. The sound of quiet sobbing filled their ears. Eventually, the way opened into a small chamber, a little egg of space inside the heart of the mountain.

  Ahead lay a small opening from which echoed the sobs of the Lady Grieve. The four of them stared at it, worried looks on their grey-lit faces.

  It was obvious Rufino would never get through. And he had no wings to cut off…

  Dirk groaned in frustration. ‘Ten thousand curses on the heads of fluffy little bunny rabbits!’ he shouted in anger. His words echoed around the tunnels and back at them like a tannoy.

  ‘…fluffy little bunny rabbits…’

  ‘…fluffy little bunny rabbits…’

  ‘…fluffy little bunny rabbits…’

  Abruptly, the sobbing stopped.

  Dirk put a hand up to his mouth. ‘Sorry,’ he hissed through his fingers.

  ‘She knows we’re here,’ said Sooz.

  ‘Advantage of surprise lost,’ said Chris.

  ‘And I can’t come with you,’ said Rufino.


  Dirk put his face in his hands.

  ‘Perhaps we should give it up, try another strategy for dealing with Hasdruban,’ said Rufino.

  They stood in silence for a moment, thinking.

  ‘But what?’ said Dirk. ‘What else is there? We will never get another chance to come back here, and if we go back to Earth, eventually Hasdruban will succeed.’

  ‘And kill you,’ said Chris.

  ‘Right,’ said Sooz. ‘We have no choice, we’ll have to go on alone, the three of us.’

  ‘You are brave indeed!’ said Rufino. ‘I shall wait here for your return.’

  ‘No, no – same applies to you as to Gargon. We’ll either die here or go straight home to Earth.’

  Rufino hesitated for a moment. Then he sighed. ‘You are right, there is nothing for it.’

  ‘Go and find Gargon. Go home to the Iron Tower, we’ll be in touch!’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Sooz, ‘and look after my town – you know, Soozville.’

  ‘I will my Lady, farewell, and good luck. I will see you soon, I’m sure!’ He shook each of them by the hand, and then saluted formally, as was the way with Paladins. He was turning to go when Sooz rushed forward and gave him a hug.

  ‘Thank you, Rufino, for being my friend,’ she said.

  Rufino smiled down at her. ‘It has been my honour to serve you,’ he replied.

  Dirk raised his eyes. ‘Oh please, come on!’ he said.

  ‘Goodbye, Rufey,’ said Sooz, before turning away and glaring at Dirk.

  ‘What?’ said Dirk.

  ‘Let’s just get on with it, shall we?’ said Chris.

  The three children found themselves in a large open space, a natural cave in the heart of the mountain. Far off to the side, pools of red-hot lava bubbled and belched sedately, filling the cavern with a reddish glow but also with an oppressive heat worse even than what they had experienced so far. Ancient and massive stalactites and stalagmites created a panorama of jagged chaos. Threads of quartz ran through the rock, glittering with ruby radiance.

  It would have been beautiful, if it was not also the Lair of the Black Hag.

  Up ahead, past the forest of dripstone trees, they could see what looked like a door, set in the far wall of the cavern.

  They advanced towards it, a terrible thirst beginning to build up inside them. Dirk led the way, ring finger pointing ahead, ready to release the Blast of Ravening Flame at a moment’s notice. In the lava glow, the Runes writhed with a fiery intensity like never before.

  Suddenly, a ragged figure stepped out from behind a squat stalagmite. The Black Hag! She stood there, arms at her side, talons outspread, a tattered black-lace assassin from your worst nightmare.

  ‘Oh myyy,’ she rasped in a voice as dry as bone. ‘How nice of you to come and visit, my pretties, how nice. I shall have the most delightful funeral party this afternoon, oh yes!’

  The Black Hag stepped forward.

  Dirk pointed a finger. ‘Stay right there, Lady Grieve, for though I am trapped in the body of a puny human, I am still the Dark Lord, and I wield the Great Ring!’ With that he unleashed a Blast of Ravening Flame with a thunderous crack.A bolt of flame leaped forward,and struck the squat stalagmite next to the Black Hag.

  The stalagmite shattered into tiny pieces, showering the Hag in jagged shards. She jumped back in shock, and then fell to her knees, next to another chunky stalagmite.

  ‘My Lord,’ shrieked the Hag. ‘Stay your dread hand, I beg you, I did not know!’ she went on, clasping her hands pleadingly, the talons clicking together to form a briar of envenomed iron.

  Chris folded his arms, relieved at how well it seemed to be going whilst Sooz put her arms on her hips. ‘Typical bully!’ she muttered.

  Dirk grinned.

  ‘Too easy, if you ask me,’ said Chris.

  ‘Bah, nonsense, she just sees me for what I really am!’ said Dirk dismissively. ‘Don’t you, my Lady? Finally, you know your place,’ he said, drawing himself up to his full height, enhanced by the power of the Ring, which also added a certain dark majesty to his imperious tones.

  The Black Hag bowed her head in submission. Dirk glanced at Chris triumphantly. He turned back to the kneeling Hag.

  ‘I will spare you, despite your treachery, but on one condition!’ said Dirk.

  ‘Name it, your Dark Majesty!’ said the Black Hag, bowing her head.

  ‘I need a tear or two, that is all,’ said Dirk.

  The Lady Grieve looked up, put a hand out to rest on the stalagmite beside her and opened the other iron-nailed hand in a gesture of acquiescence.

  ‘I have cried many tears of grief,’ she said.

  Suddenly, she pushed at the stalagmite – a secret door clicked open!

  ‘And I shall cry some more over your dead bodies!’ she shrieked as she disappeared into the interior of the stalagmite before Dirk could do a thing.

  Gathering his wits, Dirk leaped forward but only in time to hear the secret door clicking shut. Desperately he felt around, pushing and pulling and shoving, but nothing moved.

  ‘Told you!’ said Chris.

  Dirk growled under his breath, stepped back, and angrily blasted the stalagmite with the Ring. It blew up with a roar, scattering dust and crystal everywhere. But no sign of the Black Hag.

  ‘Whoa!’ said Sooz. ‘Careful, Dirk, what if she’d been inside still and you’d killed her! We need her alive.’

  Dirk made a face. ‘You’re right, I know. I just lost it there for a moment.’

  ‘Anyway, where’d she go?’ said Chris.

  ‘I don’t know. Secret passageway, I guess,’ said Sooz.

  ‘Well… Let us go on, head for the door. I bet that’s her Inner Sanctum, perhaps we can find some tears in there,’ said Dirk.

  The three drew together, Dirk in front, Ring at the ready, and they set off for the door, threading their way through the limestone forest.

  A minute passed. They were drawing nearer. Another minute.

  A sudden loud click…and out of a nearby stalagmite leaped the Black Hag! With a cry of ‘A contract’s a contract!’ she raked a taloned hand down Dirk’s arm before anyone could say or do anything. He gasped in pain, turned, ring at the ready, but the Hag had jumped back behind the secret door.

  Dirk fell to his knees, burning agony racing up his arm. He just had enough strength to blast the stalagmite to pieces with his Ring, but then he fell back to the ground, lying there, barely able to move.

  In the distance, a witchy cackling echoed around the caverns.

  ‘Dirk, no!’ yelled Sooz, as she ran to his side. Chris looked on, his face pale and shocked.

  A thin lattice of black lines began to form under Dirk’s skin. Beads of sweat sprang up on his brow.

  ‘Paralysis…setting in…quick…need antidote!’ Dirk ground out through gritted teeth, his face rigid with agony.

  Hurriedly, Sooz fumbled in her pocket, drew out the little bottle of antidote Dirk had given her, and poured it down his throat.

  Dirk began to gasp for breath, taking in long rattling gulps of air… Sooz took him by the hand. ‘No, don’t die, Dirk, please don’t die!’ she said, her eyes filling with tears. Dirk looked up at her. He squeezed her hand. He could not speak.

  But then the pain began to ease. He could breathe again. The filigree of black that laced his skin began to fade. Sooz put a hand to his forehead.

  ‘You’re going to be all right,’ she said. ‘It’s working!’

  ‘Thank you, Sooz,’ said Dirk.

  Sooz patted his hand. ‘I think maybe we should give up on this, time to go home, don’t you think?’ she said.

  Dirk sat up, coughing. ‘That’s better…and no, we can’t go back. I will not let that evil Hag defeat us!’ he said defiantly. ‘I still have the Ring, have I not?’

  ‘But it’s so dangerous,’ said Chris. ‘I mean, what if it’s me next, or worse, Sooz!’

  ‘Bah, I never give up!’ said Dirk.

  Chris shook his head. ‘This is bo
nkers – we’re just kids, Dirk!’

  Dirk got to his feet. ‘Well, I shall never give up, you can if you want.’

  ‘Chris is right, Dirk, you’ve got to see reason here! We can try something else to defeat Hasdruban when we get back – you’re a genius, Dirk, you can come up with something, right?’ said Sooz.

  ‘I admire your flattery technique, my dear little Goth, but really, we must go on. I mean, this is our best chance, if we go back without the tear…well, Hasdruban will get me in the end, don’t you see? He’s the headmaster, he’s holding most of the cards!’

  Chris stood there, arms folded. ‘That’s a fair point,’ he said.

  Sooz frowned. Then she stood up, with her back to the sitting Dirk, and nodded at Chris’s satchel.

  Chris looked at her. He raised a quizzical eyebrow. She nodded urgently at the satchel.

  ‘Use the crystal,’ she whispered. ‘Now!’

  Dirk, oblivious, looked around. ‘These stalagmites are probably riddled with secret passages. Maybe if I start blasting all the ones in the way, we could clear a safe path,’ he mused. ‘If only I wasn’t so thirsty!’

  Chris put a hand to his chin, thinking. Then he reached into his satchel, but instead of getting the Anathema Crystal he pulled out the flask, inscribed with ‘The Dark Lord’, the flask he was going to give as a gift to Dirk.

  Chris paused for a moment, unsure. Then he seemed to make up his mind, and he said, ‘Here you are, Dirk – I got you this as a present!’

  ‘By the Nine Hells, Chris, thank you!’ said Dirk, putting out his hand to Sooz, and nodding up at her so that she’d pass him the flask.

  Sooz reached over, took the flask, and began to pass it over to Dirk.

  ‘Have a drink, it’ll quench your thirst for sure,’ said Chris.

  Sooz paused. ‘Let’s have a swig then,’ she said, ‘I’m dying of thirst too!’ She flipped up the lid and put the flask to her mouth.

  ‘NOOOOOOOOO!’ yelled Chris at the top of his voice. But it was too late, Sooz had taken a sip. Sooz’s eyes widened at Chris’s cry – she was about to yank the flask away from her lips but then she tasted whatever it was that was in the flask. And she couldn’t help herself. It tasted like…liberation. Freedom. No more rules, no more behaving yourself. Just Sooz, doing whatever Sooz wanted. She began to gulp it down, all of it, gulp after gulp.