Saving Shelby

by Nicole Taylor Eby

  “I think it was good I saw him. It made me realize that I was with Blake because I had always been with him, and it felt safe. But I can do this on my own.”

  “So, Ian to your rescue once again, huh?” Ginny kept her face innocently neutral.

  “What do you mean, to my rescue again?” Shelby frowned.

  “He’s the catalyst for your latest prison break. Blake probably saw the way you look at Ian...”

  “Blake didn’t even see him,” Shelby protested. “Wait! I don’t look at him in a way.”

  Chuckling, Ginny patted her knee. “Oh, honey, everyone knows you look at Ian in a way. It isn’t a big secret that you have a thing for Ian McLean.”

  “I don’t—”

  Ginny cut her off. “It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. If he hadn’t been my brother’s friend since forever, I’d probably have a thing for Ian too. He’s a great guy.”

  “Right,” Shelby scoffed. “You warned me off him yourself.”

  “That’s before I saw the way he looks at you. I’ve known Ian a long time, and you’re the one.”

  Anger shot through Shelby. Just because she was done with Blake didn’t mean she was going to go running to Ian. Trading one insensitive jerk for another was not how she planned to start her new life.

  “A great guy, eh? Do you know what his job is? His actual job? Not the pretending to be a caring instructor part?”

  Ginny’s forehead crinkled questioningly.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” Shelby said, not trying to hide her bitterness. “He’s basically a gigolo.”

  “A gigolo? Do people even use that term anymore?”

  “I’m serious. I heard Jade and Ian arguing. Jade was mad that he wasn’t paying enough attention to Celeste, his rich mark. He’s basically supposed to get the rich women to come to their expensive wilderness spa retreats by fulfilling the fantasy of the wild and sexy wilderness man. It’s like the girlfriend experience except in reverse and in the woods.”

  “I think you’ve got it wrong. That’s ridiculous.”

  “No, I’ve got it right. I heard them. And Ian didn’t deny it.”

  “I’m sure he has a good reason.”

  “What reason could he possibly have?”

  Ginny sighed. “Well, I don’t know exactly. I’ve just known Ian for a long time, and it doesn’t sound like him. I know he changed after that accident. The one I was telling you about.”

  “You mean the one where someone may or may not have died?”

  Ginny shifted so she was looking directly at Shelby. “Yes. I don’t know all the details, just bits and pieces. I just know he was different afterwards. But what matters right now is that he didn’t look at Celeste the way he looks at you.”

  Shelby held her body rigid next to Ginny. “How can it not matter whether or not someone died?”

  “Shelby, it matters if someone died—that’s not what I meant. But it doesn’t matter right now. You’re focusing on the wrong piece of information.”

  “Oh my God, Ginny! It doesn’t matter how he looks at me or how he looks at Celeste or any other woman.” Shelby paused, an image of the woman with the dark curly hair hugging Ian causing her stomach to twist like she might be sick. She shook her head to clear the image. “I don’t want or need a man right now. And even if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be Ian McLean. He’s clearly got enough women to keep him busy.”

  Deep down, she knew Ginny was right. She was focusing on the wrong things, and she knew she was doing it to stoke her anger. She knew she had to stay angry at Ian or she would really fall apart.

  “Let’s not talk about it now, I don’t want us to fight and especially not about a man.” Ginny spoke calmly, but Shelby could see the shock in her eyes. “Seriously, I just got you back. I don’t want to fight. I think maybe you should get some sleep.”

  Shelby felt her heartrate speed up. She didn’t want Ginny to leave. Her kids were spending the night at her mother’s and, as silly as it was, she didn’t want to spend the night alone. She could deal with getting used to being alone later.

  Ginny squeezed Shelby’s hand. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I can stay.”

  Shelby blew out a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “Really? You’d stay?”

  “Absolutely. I have my toothbrush in my purse just in case of an overnighter. I’ll need to borrow something to sleep in though.”

  “I’ve got something you could use.” Shelby pushed herself up from the futon and rummaged through her dresser for an extra pair of PJs.

  Once Ginny was all decked out in a pair of Shelby’s flannel PJ bottoms and a bright-blue t-shirt, she disappeared into the bathroom to brush her teeth. While Ginny was in the bathroom, Shelby put fresh sheets on Kevin’s bed, and then she crawled onto the futon without making it down into a bed; she was too tired to bother. It had been a rough night.

  As she pulled up her old quilt, Shelby felt its familiar weight wrapping around her like a gentle hug, and she began to feel her strength returning to her. She had needed to lean on Ginny tonight, but now she knew that she could take the next steps with her own two feet.

  Ginny’s tiptoe steps stopped just outside the boys’ bedroom. “He quit his job after you left, you know. Didn’t finish the course, just walked away. Spencer says he’s starting his own company. I just thought you should know,” she said softly. “G’night.”

  Shelby was silent. What was she supposed to do with that information? Did it change anything? She closed her eyes, comforted by the fact that her friend was just a stone’s throw away. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt Ian leaning in close, and she was too tired to fight the dream.

  She could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her ear as he whispered, “You’ve got this.”

  And this time, she knew he was right.

  Ian paced his apartment, feeling like he was right back at the Alfresco Adventures Survival Spa Week the night that Shelby at caught him with Celeste on the beach. Except, this time, he wasn’t running scared; this time he was consumed by a very different kind of emotion.

  It felt an awful lot like regret, and it felt an awful lot like helplessness. He had let his past poison his future. He had had the chance to win the heart of the woman that he was pretty damn sure was his soulmate, and he had been too blind to see the opportunity. Finding Shelby at the ball tonight had been his second chance—or maybe by now he was on his third chance. He had let her down so often that he wasn’t even sure where he stood anymore—and he had squandered that chance.

  He had faced his fear and quit his job for her, but how had he thought that would be enough? How could he have thought that he could heal the damage he had caused with such a selfish gesture? She wouldn’t even know. She wouldn’t be able to understand, even if she did. He had kept her at arms lengths; he had broken her trust; and he had endangered her life. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, if he ever got the chance to beg for it.

  It was his instinct to go to her, but he swallowed it. Shelby didn’t need him barging in where she hadn’t asked for help. He had to let her come to him. Wrenching his tie off in despair, Ian threw it on the bed. Shelby wasn’t going to come for him. She had made that clear, and he had learned from Natalie, that you couldn’t force somebody to forgive you—you had to give them the chance to get there on their own.

  And she’s married, dumbass.

  Pausing at the window, Ian stared hard at the moon. So many cheesy romance movies had the characters clinging to the fact that the moon shone on both of them, no matter how far apart they were. In this moment, he had to believe it was true.

  He had to believe that Shelby would find her way back to him, and when she did, he would never stop being the rock that she needed to build her foundation on. Shelby didn’t need him to save her. She didn’t need a hero. She could do it on her own. What she needed was someone to be her champion.

  CHAPTER 29

  Walking up the pathway to her mot
her’s house, clutching a casserole dish, felt like walking towards a trial, instead of going to dinner with family. Shelby hadn’t given them a head’s up that Blake wouldn’t be coming for dinner. It was cowardly, but sometimes she needed to think of her own self-preservation. Which was exactly why she hadn’t told them about her accident on the river either.

  Now, staring at the peeling white paint on her mother’s front door, guilt flashed through her—both from not contacting her mother and because Blake had promised Caroline that he would pay to have the house painted this summer. Her mother was going to blame her for sure.

  Pausing at the front door, Shelby smoothed down her skirt, wishing she had chosen something a little more like armour to face her family in; it might have made it easer to open the door.

  The door stood as an almost insurmountable barrier between her and her family—not just physical but mental. They were going to judge her decision. She clutched the casserole dish tighter, as if it could give her some strength. Ginny had helped her make it, and it was comforting to hold it. She had asked Ginny to come with her, even though Caroline wouldn’t approve of a friend crashing a Smith family dinner, but Ginny was away in Tofino with Luke this weekend.

  “I’m already late meeting up with him,” Ginny had said apologetically, as she hugged Shelby at the door. “Stay tough, and I’ll call you as soon as I get back on Monday.”

  It had been a surprise to find out Ginny was seeing Luke. Sure, they’d flirted at camp, but it hadn’t really seemed serious, and Luke was about a decade younger than Ginny, not that Shelby was judging. She was happy for her friend. Ginny deserved someone nice in her life. She was just surprised or maybe a little bit jealous; Ginny did carefree so much better than she did.

  As Shelby stood with her hand on the door handle, the knots in her stomach grew. She hadn’t even told Bryan and Kevin about their dad yet. She hadn’t had a chance, since they had spent the night with their nana. She would have to break the news in front of her whole family, and that wasn’t going to make it easier.

  She took a deep breath and opened the door. The situation wasn’t going to get better lurking on the doorstep—she had to face the music sooner or later. Stepping inside, she paused to take in the scene. Toys littered the living room. Her three-year-old nephew, Shaun, was sitting in a pile of blocks, cheerfully stacking them one on top of the other and then shoving them over with his foot. Just behind Shaun, Bryan sat on the couch completely absorbed in whatever he was doing on his tablet. He didn’t even look up when Kevin and his cousin, five-year-old Amanda, galloped through the living room with broomstick horses between their legs.

  A second later, Caroline appeared at the door to the kitchen. “I thought I heard the door. About time you got here,” she said, then paused to look behind Shelby. “Where’s Blake?”

  “Hi, Mom,” Shelby replied, trying to hide the hurt at the reminder that Blake was always foremost in her mother’s mind. “Blake couldn’t come.”

  “Why not?” Caroline’s eyes narrowed.

  Shelby glanced at Bryan on the couch. This was not how she wanted him to hear this. “Maybe we could go into the kitchen, Mom?” Shelby inclined her head towards her son, trying to convey she didn’t want to talk about it in front of him.

  Caroline ignored her hints. “What have you done, Shelby?”

  “Blake and I separated last night, but of course, the boys don’t know yet,” Shelby said, keeping her voice low; when what she wanted to do was lash out.

  “What is wrong with you? How hard can it be living in that fancy house?”

  Shelby flinched. “It just wasn’t working, Mom.”

  “Pfft,” Caroline scoffed, “I can guess what that means.”

  Shelby glanced frantically at Bryan, but he hadn’t looked up from his tablet. For once, she was glad he was absorbed in some game with his noise cancelling headphones on.

  “Hey Shelby,” Meghan, said, appearing out of the kitchen.

  “She messed up with Blake again,” Caroline said, her voice dripping with scorn.

  Meghan raised her eyebrows at Shelby. “Really, Shelby, what’s wrong with you? How hard is it to be Blake’s wife in that big fancy house?”

  “That’s exactly what I said,” Caroline smirked.

  Shelby could feel her lungs tightening. She wasn’t shocked by their lack of empathy for her, but it still hurt. The back door slammed shut and Meghan’s husband, Wes, appeared.

  “You got any beer, Caroline? I could use one. I’m feeling kinda tired.” Wes rubbed at his chest as he dropped down onto the couch beside Bryan. “Hey, Shel.” Wes nodded his head towards Shelby.

  “You okay?” she asked. Wes’s face was pale and a bit grey.

  “Yeah, just need a beer that’s all. Too much gardening,” he laughed. “Mowing the lawn is not good for a guy.”

  “I’ll get you one,” she said, glad for the interruption from the interrogation.

  “See, it’s not so hard is it? Being a good wife?” Meghan called as Shelby left to find a beer for Wes.

  Once she was out of sight in the kitchen, Shelby leaned against the wall and tried to pull herself together. But there was no peace for her; immediately, her thoughts turned to Ian. She hadn’t been able to get Ginny’s comment about the way Ian looked at her out of her mind.

  It doesn’t matter how Ian McLean looks at me, she reminded herself.

  Her thoughts had a mind of their own though, and she couldn’t stop seeing how his brown eyes darkened and his mouth crinkled just slightly at the corners into his signature barely-there smile every time he looked at her.

  Her breath caught in her throat; suddenly, she could see the reason why Ian McLean was stuck in her of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to forget him. It wasn’t just because he was hot as sin. There was a reason why he popped into her mind when things got tough. She let her head fall back against the wall and closed her eyes. Her heart was thumping, and it was hard to breathe.

  Like the fool she was, she had fallen for Ian McLean.

  The world seemed to tip, but Shelby didn’t get a chance to dwell on her revelation because Kevin appeared in the kitchen.

  “Mommy?”

  “Yes?” Shelby didn’t open her eyes, afraid of what the vertigo would do.

  “Why didn’t Daddy come? Is it ‘cause he has to work?”

  Instantly, the world righted itself, and all thoughts of the complicated mess that was Ian McLean were swept from her mind. Her heart cracked a little, as she pushed herself away from the wall and knelt down at eye level with her youngest son.

  “Ah honey. I’m not sure if Daddy’s at work.”

  “Is Daddy mad at you again?”

  She worked hard to hide her shock from Kevin. “No, Daddy isn’t mad. But Mom and Dad aren’t going to live in the same house anymore.” She hugged Kevin close to her.

  “It’s okay, Mom. I like it at our place. The one where Daddy doesn’t sleep. You smile when you’re there.”

  Her heart melting, she leaned back and looked Kevin in the eyes. “You don’t mind not having your own room?”

  “Nope. Bryan keeps the monsters away.”

  She laughed and kissed Kevin on the forehead. “That’s what big brothers are for.”

  Without answering, Kevin galloped away on his broomstick horse. Shelby felt strangely unsettled with how easy that had been; it wasn’t going to be like that with Bryan. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed back to the living room.

  “Here you go, one ice cold beer to counteract lawn mowing,” she said, as she rounded the corner from the kitchen into the living room, trying to keep her voice light to hide the turmoil inside. Between her family’s disapproval of her separation from Blake, and her realization she had ruined her chances with Ian, it was all she could do to keep her hand from shaking as she held the beer out for Wes.

  “Thanks, Shel,” Wes said. His hand brushed hers as he took the beer.

  Shelby gasped. “Wes, your hands are freezing.” Sh
e peered closer at his face. He was very pale with a sheen of sweat on his forehead despite the chill in the room. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Wes wiped his forehead. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just need a little rest.” He smiled weakly at her.

  “Maybe if you’d fussed over your husband like that, you’d still have a marriage,” Caroline sneered. “Let him rest. We need you in the kitchen.”

  Shelby sighed. It was going to be a long day.

  “I’m coming,” she said, glancing worriedly back at Wes. He hadn’t taken a sip of his beer. He just set it on the table and let his head fall back against the couch.

  Shelby was elbow deep in mashed potatoes when she heard a thump from the living room. Holding her potato-covered hands up, Shelby turned to her sister. “What was that?”

  Meghan didn’t even look up from the gravy she was stirring. “Just those damn kids making a mess. They better not have broken anything or Mom’s gonna be livid when she gets back from the store.”

  “Maybe you could go and check. I’m kind of mucked up.” Shelby tipped her head, indicating the mess all over her hands.

  “Right, and I can leave this gravy. It’ll be fine. Wes is in there. And surely Bryan would tattle, if the little ones are up to no good.”

  Shelby bit back a retort and turned her attention back to the mashed potatoes, fighting with Meghan wasn’t going to change her opinion about Bryan. Besides, Meghan was right, Wes could take care of whatever was going on.

  “Mom!” Bryan called from the other room a moment later, as if his aunt’s prediction about Bryan tattling was coming true.

  Could this day get any worse?

  “Come in here if you want to talk to me,” she snapped, bracing herself for his snarky response.

  But Bryan didn’t backtalk, instead he appeared at the kitchen door. “Mom, something’s wrong with Uncle Wes.”

  “He’s just tired, honey. Let him rest,” Meghan said, shooing Bryan back towards the living room. “Go on. We’re busy trying to get dinner ready.”