Fighting Envy

by Jennifer Miller

  When she’s spent and gasping trying to gain control of her breathing, I rip my pants and briefs down my body, grab a condom out of the back pocket of my jeans, rip it open with my teeth and roll it on. Climbing on top of her body, I look down at her. She looks up at me with a smile that screams satisfaction and I want to bang my chest with male pride. When her eyes drop to my lips I know she sees them glistening with her wetness. Very slowly she lifts her head up and licks my mouth clean tasting herself on me and making me groan with need.

  Opening her thighs further so I can settle between them, she pulls away from my mouth. “I need to feel you inside of me. Now.”

  “Me too babe. Fuck, me too.” I take my cock in my hand and rub it along her opening and then with one strong thrust enter her with a groan and bury my face in her neck. She gasps and moans in return and immediately starts grinding her hips into mine meeting me thrust for thrust. I slowly pull out before sliding back in, once, then twice, taking it slow until she surprises me by grabbing hold of my ass and slamming me down to meet her.

  “Oh, Jesus,” I groan. “I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that.”

  I look down at her and she gives me an evil grin before she digs her nails into my ass and does it again. “Fuck!” I groan. “I can’t hold it.”

  “Don’t. Fuck me. I want you to fuck me.”

  That’s it. I’m a goner. I push into her over and over and feel her fall off the edge again with a loud groan. Her walls squeeze the hell out of me and with a loud groan of my own, I pump my release into her, then collapse being careful not to crush her with my weight.

  Lifting up I give her a quick kiss on the lips and then get off of her to make my way to the bathroom. Disposing of the condom, I warm up a washcloth and go back to the bed and help her clean up. After I put the cloth in the hamper, I join her in bed and pull her into my arms. We’re quiet for a minute just catching our breaths and reveling in what just happened. I knew before this, but I really am gone. Completely gone. Totally enraptured by her. She owns me body and soul. When she folds her arms on top of my chest and places her chin on top of them she looks down at me with a smile. Returning it, I push her hair behind her ear and stare into her eyes trying to tell her the things I’m not ready to let leave my mouth just yet.

  “Jax, that was…”

  I interrupt her, “The best fucking sex of my life. Did you feel it again too? The connection? The fireworks?”

  “I felt them. I feel them. All the time. With you.”

  “Me too,” I confess.

  “And that was the best sex of my life too.” She leans forward and kisses me and I tuck her head under my chin, smiling at her words. The last thought I remember having is how right she feels in my arms and how I always want to have her there.

  When I wake up, an automatic smile comes to my lips. Last night was… it was absolutely amazing. I wasn’t lying to Jax when I told him it was the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ve never, ever felt the way he made me feel last night – certainly not with Jason. Out of nowhere, a twinge of sadness enters my gut and I wish I had come to my senses with Jason much sooner. I had no idea I was missing out on true passion. I was never able to just let go the way I was able to with Jax. Moreover, I’ve never felt like I could be myself – my true self – unconditionally and without judgment – like I can with him. Certainly, while I regret parts of my relationship with Jason, without it, I would never have had Lily. And I can’t imagine my life without her. Suddenly, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my heart. The clarity in that thought gives me peace for the first time with the whole situation. I feel a sense of closure and I feel lighter. I now know the purpose for that relationship.

  With a happy sigh, I roll over to face Jax excited about a new day together, and realize the bed is empty making me frown. Sitting up, my eyes instantly see the cup of coffee sitting on the bedside table and I wonder if the smell broke through my unconsciousness until it woke me. Sitting next to the coffee is a red rose and a note. Picking it up I take in Jax’s small and messy writing, “Went for some breakfast supplies, or maybe it would be considered brunch at this point. Will be back soon – miss me while I’m gone.”

  Smiling I sit up, and am happy to see Jax had the forethought to bring my overnight bag into the bedroom. Completely contented and relaxed, we fell asleep and I never changed into pajamas. Taking out my clothes and toiletry bag, I grab my cup of coffee carrying it into the bathroom. Searching for a towel, I find one in the linen closet behind the door and start the water. While waiting for the water to get to the right temp, I sip my coffee and enjoy its sweetness. Jax added the perfect amount of sugar and cream. I have no idea how he guessed the way I like it. I sigh wistfully and think about the night before. Jax’s hands on my body, his lips on mine, and the thoughts make me let out a big happy sigh. I feel so relaxed this morning and when I realize it’s because I’m happy, genuinely one hundred percent happy, my smile is so wide my cheeks ache with the effort.

  Stepping into the shower I realize I didn’t think to bring my own shampoo or body wash. Checking out Jax’s products, opening them and absorbing the smell that is uniquely his, I don’t waste any time pouring his shampoo into my open palm and lathering up my hair. It smells divine. After rinsing it out, I pick up his body wash and smell it too. It feels like a guilty pleasure or something and as I pour it into my hand I rub my hands together and lather them up then begin rubbing them all over my body. “Mmm, now this is one hell of a sight I could easily get used to.” His voice is unexpected and I scream so loud I’m sure the neighbors will call the police while I cover as much as my body with my arms as possible.

  Jax’s arms instantly surround me as he laughs. Trying to school his face to look sorry while I teasingly glare at him, he fails miserably and starts laughing. I push him away and cross my arms to glare an extra moment for good measure, which only makes him laugh harder. My lips keep curving up into a smile and it takes effort to straighten them out each time. When he controls himself he manages to speak, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me.” He wraps his arms around me again and I uncross my arms and put them around his neck instead. He’s smiling down at me and his dimples make my knees feel weak. My amusement quickly turns to lust when he shifts and his naked, wet body rubs against mine. This hot, wet, beautiful man is naked in the shower with me. I’m sure as hell going to take advantage of this. Moving my mouth closer to his, I grasp a handful of his hair, “Uh, next time at least make some noise by shutting a door or clearing your throat would you?”

  He laughs and lets go of me to grab his body wash from the shelf to pour some into his hands and picks up where I left off, rubbing them all over my body. He takes his time and makes sure every single inch of me is thoroughly clean. My whole body is vibrating afterwards and I bite my lip trying to keep myself from moaning like a lust-crazed idiot, but damn.

  Remembering that I brought a washcloth into the shower with me, I pick it up then take the body wash and pour some into it. “My turn,” I smile up into his face and feel my insides clench when he gives me a sexy smirk.

  Starting with his shoulders I smooth the washcloth over their broadness, washing from one side to the other. Moving my way down his chest and over his pecs, I can’t help but use my other hand to trace his tattoo with the tip of my finger. When that’s not enough, I lean forward and use my tongue instead feeling satisfaction at keeping my promise to myself about doing this very thing. He groans his approval and when I’ve finished, I move back and continue my washing.

  Next, I move toward his abs and make a show of scrubbing each one making him chuckle. The sound is deep and gravely and makes my core throb with need. To distract myself I jokingly pretend to use his abs as a washboard with the washcloth making him laugh and me giggle. Following the v line at his hips I lick my lips when I finally reach his impressive erection. Standing tall and proud, his want of me so blatant, it causes me to want to lose control. Looking into
his eyes, I see him looking back at me, eyes hooded and staring. Making sure I rinse him thoroughly, when I’m finished, I immediately drop to my knees, wanting to show my appreciation for how he made me feel last night and to return the favor. When I look up at him again, his eyes are wide and I can’t help the smile that comes to my lips. Keeping my eyes on his, I lean forward and place the tip of his cock into my mouth making him hiss in pleasure and anticipation.

  Swirling my tongue over him I grab the base of his cock and push him down my throat, inch by inch until I hear him groan and his hands clench into my hair. “Oh god. Just like that, babe. Feels so good.”

  Finding a good rhythm, I make sure my hand moves down, as my head comes up, and then when my head goes down, my hand comes up his shaft. Suck, swirl, slide. Suck, swirl, slide. He groans again and at the tail end of it I feel his precum explode in my mouth leaving a musky taste that sets my blood on fire. The sounds he’s making instigates a surge of wetness between my thighs and when I open my eyes to look at him, I groan myself when I see his head thrown back in complete abandon lost in nothing but feeling. After a few more strokes he begins pumping his hips with my movements and I feel his thumb brush my cheek. Reaching one hand to massage his balls, I continue pumping with the other, completely lost in the feeling of passion and something I can’t yet define. When I feel his hands suddenly under my arms and he yanks me up his body, I let out a squeak.

  “I need to be inside you, right now.”

  Without another word he pushes me up against the shower wall and slams his body against mine. His hands are under my ass and he lifts me so that I wrap my legs around his waist. Gripping handfuls of my hair, he tilts my head to the side and plunges his tongue in and out of my mouth brutally kissing me - his passion out of control. Reaching between our bodies he grabs himself and enters me with a deep thrust. We groan in tandem and I can already feel my orgasm starting to unravel deep in my tummy. He moves in and out, sighing my name with his movements.

  When he reaches between us once again and whispers, “Come for me, baby,” then presses a thumb to my clit, I come undone as if I was just waiting for permission to do so. “Oh god, yes!” I yell and Jax quickly follows me, but at the last second pulls out and spills his release onto the shower floor letting the water wash his pleasure away.

  He turns back to me and kisses me, then looks at me with worry, “I’m sorry. I realized at the last minute that I didn’t even put on a condom, I was so caught up in the moment.”

  “It’s okay, I’m on the pill. Plus when I found out I was pregnant with Lily, the OB tests for everything under the sun because it could create complications, so I know I’m clean.”

  “I get tested regularly because of the physicals and other tests we have for fighting, so I’m clean too. I’ve never had sex without a condom – ever. I just lost myself with you.”

  “I did too,” I confess, “It’s okay. I’m okay with us forgoing condoms in the future too if you are.”

  He smiles at me and nods. He steps out of the shower, then turns to help me out too. Grabbing my towel he wraps it around me, then gets one for himself and wraps it around his waist. Teasingly I smile at him, “I thought you said you were making me brunch.”

  He laughs, “I was about to, but when I heard you in the shower when I got back from the store, suddenly the need to get clean was really overpowering.”

  Laughing with him, he pulls me into his room. “Oh wait, I have my clothes in the bathroom.”

  “Let’s save those for later. We have a while before we have to be anywhere so let’s just be comfortable.” He pulls out one of his t-shirts from his dresser drawer and hands it to me. “Cool with you?”

  With a smile I slip it over my head, “Absolutely.”

  He throws on a t-shirt himself and some boxers, while I grab some undies and slip them on, then we walk out to the kitchen together. “Do you like eggs and bacon?” Jax asks.

  “I do, very much. There really isn’t any breakfast food that I don’t like. It’s pretty much my favorite kind of food.”

  “It is?”

  “Yep, I mean what’s not to like? Eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, breakfast potatoes, toast with jam, biscuits, crepes, I could go on and on. Plus don’t even get me started about having cereal for dinner.”

  With a laugh Jax walks to a cabinet in his kitchen and opens it. Sitting there are about five boxes of different kinds of cereal. “Oh that’s it. Now I know meeting you was kismet. I mean, what are the chances that you’d love cereal as much as I do?” Reaching for one, I pull out the frosted wheat cereal and hold it up, “This is one of my favorites.”

  “Mine too,” he tells me with a smile.

  Standing side by side we make breakfast together and I realize that I have a smile on my face the whole time- I can’t stop – it’s ridiculous. “We are so freaking domestic. Look at us.”

  He looks at me and his eyes take in my t-shirt clad body, bare feet and the spatula in my hand. “Oh, I’m looking, and I’m liking what I see.”

  I swat him with the spatula on the butt, “Me too.”

  We make a freaking feast and sit at his table and eat all of it. I rub my very full tummy, “I probably have a food baby.”

  “A food baby?” He raises and eyebrow and looks at me like I’m nuts.

  “Yeah, it’s that little poof you get after you eat a lot making you look like you’re pregnant. A food baby.”

  “That’s kind of gross.”

  Laughing I agree, “I know. So, are you nervous for your fight? Oh wait, you said you don’t get nervous, huh?”

  “Not really too often anymore, no. Like I said before, it’s just a job, but it happens to be a job I love. It wasn’t always that way though, I used to get so nervous I’d throw up before a fight.”

  “Oh, I bet I’d be the same way. So your calm, cool, and collected attitude took time to come by?”

  “I guess you could say that.” He rubs his chin as thoughts run through his mind and over his face, “Remember how I told you that my dad was angry at me when my grandfather left me the gym when he died?” I nod letting him know I do remember. “Well angry is an understatement. Instead of talking to me like an adult about his feelings or hell, even taking me to court to contest the will like I figured he would, he decided to retaliate instead.”

  Oh, god. My stomach drops with his words and I’m afraid I’ll end up throwing up all the food I just ate. Stories where parents are less than loving to their children always bother me because of what I’ve endured from my own mother. I swallow hard before asking, “Retaliate how?” I can’t help but ask, although I’m not sure I want to hear the answer.

  “Well, even though I knew he was angry and that he thought not only that my Pops was delusional, but that I wouldn’t be able to hack it, I was determined to be the bigger person. I jumped right in and started managing the gym, implementing some changes that I thought would improve and upgrade things and I also used some ideas that were conceived during talks with my grandfather. He always said I had great ideas, so I decided to implement them. One thing I kept the same though was having my dad manage our fighting sponsorships and the organization and arranging all of our fights. For all his many faults, he is really good at his job, I’ll give him that. He’d already been doing it for years for my grandfather, and his contacts and knowledge is extensive. That doesn’t mean that a determined person couldn’t learn the job and take his place, but why mess with a good thing, ya know? But what I wasn’t expecting was for him to start taking a personal interest in the training of fighters at my gym and for him to use them in order to get to me.”

  “Use them? What do you mean?”

  “My father started approaching fighters behind my back and the backs of their coaches and tried to obtain their business. Meaning, he told them that he could coach them. Most people were kind and thanked him but declined, others like Zane couldn’t believe he had the balls to even ask and told him so.”

  “Good for him.
That’s a loyal friend you have there.”

  “He’s definitely that. It took time, but eventually my father got his first taker. Louie ‘Lightening’ Gates had just fired his coach due to a conflict of interest of some kind and my father stepped in at the perfect time and Louie agreed to a partnership. My father began training him and of course he did it t the gym. He was sure to train him at times I was there working and he was so fucking loud about it.” He shakes his head at the memories. “He’d go on and on about how great of a fighter Louie was, and that he was the best damn fighter he’d ever seen. The worst though was when I trained at the same time as Louie was with my father. My father would make derogatory comments about my training, comparing me to Louie of course, and spouting off all the ways that he was better than me.”

  “Did Gil ever do something about it?”

  He laughs, “He took a swing at my father once over it, but paying it attention only made it worse. Gil encouraged me to not say anything, but my dad got off on it and wouldn’t let it go. He’d keep egging it on and my anger would build. He said getting in the cage with Louie would prove once and for all who was better. I’d ignore him and he’d call me a chicken shit and laugh. He’d say it was because I knew Louie would kick my as in a heartbeat.”

  “What an asshole. Uh sorry-”

  He gives me a sad smile and nods, “Definitely. He made me angry, but truthfully, he also made me sad. Yes, my father would train Louie, but he would also give him pep talks, tell him how great he was, pat him on the back and smile at him in a way he’d never smiled at me. I watched my father have a relationship with another fighter that I always dreamed about.”

  “Oh, Jax. I’m so sorry.”