Amelia Fang and the Memory Thief

by Laura Ellen Anderson

  “Hey! Florence, we’re supposed to be selling them, not eating them all!” said Amelia, poking her friend’s arm.

  “RELAX. WE HAVE LOADS. MUNCHING ONE WON’T HURT. OR MAYBE TWO…,” said Florence, reaching to grab another. Amelia smacked her paw away.

  “Yeah, Florence, you’re not supposed to eat them,” Grimaldi said, pointing his scythe at her. At the same time, a cookie fell out of his hood.

  “BUSTED!” Florence shouted.

  “Please,” Amelia said. “Stop eating our supplies! We’ll have nothing left to sell. Isn’t that right, Tangine?”

  Tangine didn’t say anything.

  “OI, TAN-GREEN!” Florence said, poking his cheek. “YOU’VE CHANGED COLOR. WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU?”

  “I’m not feeling so good. I think I ate too many Scream-Cheese Boogers after school last night,” Tangine said, holding his tummy. “I’ll be fine. Come on, let’s sell these cookies!”

  “YEAH. THE FASTER WE SELL ’EM, THE FASTER WE CAN GO PLAY GOBLIN TAG! IT IS A FRIDAY NIGHT, AFTER ALL!” Florence sang.

  * * *

  Amelia and her friends began their cookie quest around the city. As they weaved in and out of the streets of Nocturnia, Amelia noticed that the air smelled of flowers. As she breathed it in, looking up at the sky, she spotted some little blue specks drifting past her face and dancing through the night air.

  “Where did those come from?” she asked curiously. Squashy bounced as high as he could, trying to catch one of the blue specks in his mouth.

  “HOW WEIRD…,” Florence said, looking up.

  “Never seen weather like this before,” said Tangine, raising an eyebrow.

  “If that’s not a sign of Global Cooling, I don’t know what is!” Grimaldi said, folding his arms.

  “I’m not sure it’s the weather,” said Amelia as the friends approached the cave entrance to Goblins Anonymous. “It’s like something is being blown along by the wind.”

  Forgetting all about the strange flecks, Amelia pulled on a long branch at the entrance of the huge Goblins Anonymous cave, and a high-pitched screeching sound announced their arrival.

  “Oh, hello there,” said a fat goblin with no teeth. “Are you here for the Worldly Wart Talk?”

  “NAH,” said Florence. “WE WERE WONDERING IF WE COULD INTEREST YOU AND YOUR FELLOW GOBLINS IN SOME COOKIES. YOU GOT A CHOICE OF THREE FLAVORS: RASPBERRY AND FRIGHT CHOCOLATE, SWEAT SYRUP SURPRISE, AND BELLY-BUTTON FLUFF.”

  “Oh, we already bought five boxes of Slug Slime Sublime Cookies from that lovely monster girl Frankie,” said the goblin. “She gave us some free unicorn stickers too!”

  Amelia clenched her fists in frustration. She couldn’t believe Frankie Steinberg had got there before them.

  Tangine stepped forward. “If you buy SIX boxes of OUR cookies, I’ll take you on a private tour of Nocturnia Palace! You could sit on my dad’s throne too. AND ride my three-eyed vulture!”

  Pumpy nudged Tangine’s leg, almost knocking him over.

  “Oh, and you get to pat my pet pumpkin, Pumpy.” Pumpy puffed out his chest to reveal his six-pack.

  The goblin sighed. “If you’d been here fifteen minutes earlier, I’d have said yes, but we spent our weekly allowance on Frankie’s cookies already. I’m terribly sorry. The stickers really swayed our decision!”

  Feeling deflated, the friends moved on. They knocked on a small gravestone in Central Nocturnia Graveyard.

  “Yes?” came a voice from underground.

  “WE HAVE COOKIES, AND YOU’RE GONNA HURRY UP AND BUY THEM SO I CAN GO PLAY!” said Florence.

  A zombie hand burst out of the ground, brandishing a cookie. “Got some Armpit-Flavored Sublime Cookies already from that Frankie girl. She gave us a ton of free Cheese and Bunion Crisps too. What you got to offer? We could do with some Whole-Brain Bread.”

  “No Whole-Brain Bread, but how about half a pack of Nefarious Nuts?” Tangine asked, searching his pockets.

  “Not interested. Now move on, I’m trying to sleep here!” the zombie said.

  “Rude!” Tangine said, making sure to stomp extra hard as he passed over the zombie’s grave.

  Next, the friends visited the Rickety Residences, where some of the biggest stars in Nocturnia lived, including the Howling Wolf Band.

  “Ah, sorry, mate,” said Gibbous, the band’s drummer. “We got forty-two boxes of the Beetle Brain flavor from someone called Frankie. We need to watch the ol’ sugar levels.”

  “THIS IS TURNING INTO A MASSIVE WASTE OF TIME,” said Florence. “MIGHT AS WELL EAT THE COOKIES OURSELVES.”

  “We have to keep trying,” Amelia said. “We still haven’t tried the Yeti Mountain Pits, or the Post-Bat Depot…or the Scary Suburbs!”

  “I’M TIRED OF SELLING COOKIES,” said Florence. “CAN’T WE TRY AGAIN TOMORROW?”

  “But we won’t win if we don’t hurry,” Amelia urged. “We have to beat Frankie! And remember, we get a trip to Pumpkin Paradise Park if we win!”

  “I KNOW, BUT I’M BORED!” huffed Florence. “I’M GONNA GO PLAY GOBLIN TAG. ARE YOU ALL COMING?”

  Amelia shook her head. She wasn’t in a very playful mood.

  Tangine stayed unusually quiet.

  “FINE. C’MON, GRIMALDI. LET’S GO.”

  Grimaldi looked awkwardly from Amelia to Florence. “I…I…Um…”

  “Fine,” Amelia said grumpily as Florence dragged a tongue-tied Grimaldi away. “But it would be nice if you could be a bit more helpful tomorrow, Florence.”

  Florence grunted and kept walking. Tangine didn’t seem to be saying much at all.

  “See you by the Petrified-Tree-That-Looks-Like-a-Unicorn at moonrise to continue, then!” Amelia called after her friends.

  “FINE,” Florence grumbled.

  “Don’t be late!” Amelia yelled after her. She turned to Tangine. “You’ll be there, right?”

  But instead of replying, Tangine threw up.

  At moonrise on Saturday night, Amelia waited for her friends under the Petrified-Tree-That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn.

  “Where is everyone, Squashy?” asked Amelia, rubbing his tummy. “It’s not like them to be so late. I hope Florence isn’t still mad at me. I feel bad for being so grumpy toward her.”

  An hour went by, but still there was no sign of Florence, Grimaldi or Tangine. Fed up with waiting, Amelia decided that if they weren’t coming to her, she would go to them. She headed off to Nocturnia Palace to find Tangine.

  Amelia knocked on the huge golden door.

  “Hello, is Tangine there?” she asked when an unraveled Mummy Maid in a pink towel appeared.

  “The prince is sick,” said the Mummy Maid.

  “Oh,” Amelia said. “I hope he’s okay.”

  “Well, no, because he’s sick,” said the Mummy Maid.

  Pumpy PA-DOOFed into view, then rolled over and fell asleep.

  Tangine hobbled to the door, looking a very unpleasant shade of green.

  “It’s okay, Helen.” Tangine waved a hand at the agitated Mummy Maid. “Go and finish your foot-spa session. Hey, Amelia.” He winced and held his tummy.

  “Oh, no,” said Amelia. “I’m sorry you’re ill.”

  “I think there was something off with the boogers I ate. I’ve been sick all day. It’s all green and lumpy too.”

  Amelia grimaced. “I really didn’t need to know that.”

  “I don’t think I can face selling cookies right now.” Tangine puffed his cheeks out and made a weird noise.

  “Don’t worry, Tangine,” Amelia said, taking a step back. “You should stay in bed and get better. Florence, Grimaldi and I will deal with the cookie selling tonight.”

  “Where are they?” Tangine asked, peering behind Amelia.

  “I have no idea. Nobody came to meet me,” said Amelia. “I’m w
orried they’re still angry with me.”

  “I’m sure they’re fine. Florence isn’t the type to stay angry. She just doesn’t like missing an opportunity to play Goblin Tag.” Tangine said, giving a strained smile.

  “True,” said Amelia. “Well, I’d better go and find her. Hopefully you’ll be better for my birthnight party tomorrow!”

  “I’ll be there no matter what!” said Tangine punching the air weakly. “That’s what friends d—” But he didn’t finish his sentence because he ran off to be sick again.

  Amelia decided it was probably time to go.

  * * *

  She wandered through Central Nocturnia Graveyard toward Florence’s pit in the Petrified Forest, keeping an eye out for her friends. Squashy bounced beside her happily. Where the bats were they? Amelia wondered.

  She finally spotted Florence by the edge of the River Styx doing one-armed push-ups, with a plate of cookies next to her.

  “HEY, AMELIA!” Florence called. Every time she did a push-up, she grabbed a cookie between her teeth and gobbled it whole.

  “Florence! How come you didn’t meet me earlier? You’re not still mad about yesternight, are you?” Amelia asked.

  “MEET YOU? WHERE? MAD? HUH?” Florence seized another cookie with her tongue.

  “You and your jokes, Florence.” Amelia laughed uncertainly.

  “I DUNNO WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.” Florence looked at her blankly. “COOKIE?”

  Amelia frowned and picked Squashy up for comfort. He licked at her cheek as she mumbled, “I can’t have any cookies.”

  “BUT THEY’RE SUBLIME!” Florence laughed. “GO ON, TRY ONE.” She picked at her teeth with a claw.

  “You know I can’t…,” Amelia started. “I have a sore fang.”

  “OH, TOO BAD,” Florence said, and kept on munching. “SO,” she continued through a mouthful of cookie. “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW? I WAS THINKING GOBLIN TAG!”

  “Enough with the goblin tag, Florence! We’re supposed to be selling our cookies to win the competition—not eating them all!” Amelia was growing impatient.

  Florence looked confused.

  “I DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’ ABOUT NO COMPETITION!” she said.

  Amelia stood in silence for a few seconds. “Stop being silly, Florence. Look. I’m sorry about yesternight, but I’ve got a good feeling we’ll sell lots of cookies tonight!”

  “SERIOUSLY. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Florence asked. “STOP BEING WEIRD.”

  “You’re the one being weird!” Amelia snapped. She sighed. “I think I’m just going to go home.”

  “WHY’S THAT?” said Florence. “WE’VE GOT THE WHOLE NIGHT AHEAD OF US! YOU OKAY?”

  Amelia shuffled on the spot. “Actually, I’m suddenly not feeling well.” Amelia felt a flutter of guilt, as this wasn’t entirely true, but she wasn’t feeling great, either.

  “ALL RIGHT,” Florence said. “FEEL BETTER SOON! I’LL SAVE YOU A COOKIE!”

  Amelia ran as fast as she could back to the Fang Mansion, with Squashy held tightly in her arms. As she hurried through the front door, she almost walked through Wooo.

  “Young Amelia. You look all droopy and sad. Whatever is wrong?” the ghost butler asked kindly.

  “Florence and Grimaldi forgot to meet me to sell cookies tonight. We’re supposed to be working together to win the school competition,” said Amelia. “And poor Tangine is sick, so he can’t help right now either.”

  “Don’t be sad,” said Wooo. “I’m sure everything will work out fine. But speaking of your little death friend, Grimaldi—there’s a rather large pile of squished toads in the back garden. Some vulture landed on them. They’ve been there for hours, and your mother is worried they’re making the place look untidy.”

  “How odd. It’s not like Grimaldi to leave a toad pile-up untouched,” said Amelia. She wondered if she should go and find him, but Florence had acted so strange, Amelia wasn’t sure she wanted to see anyone else right now.

  She hugged Squashy to her chest. He always made her feel better.

  “Oh, Wooo,” said Amelia. “I’ve had such a horrible couple of nights. Mom is angry with me because I ruined my dress—she says that I think about pumpkins too much. And I’m pretty sure my friends are mad at me for getting so frustrated about not selling any cookies. Maybe I got carried away. I just really wanted to win that trip to Pumpkin Paradise Park.”

  “Don’t be hard on yourself, young Amelia,” Wooo reassured her. “Sometimes creatures have disagreements, but these things don’t last forever. It’s a new night tomorrow, not to mention your birthnight! You’ll wake up feeling right as rain! Keep that chin up.”

  “Thank you, Wooo.” Amelia smiled. “You’re right. A new night, a fresh start!”

  Amelia tried to forget about the cookie competition and her friends for now. She decided to spend the rest of the night until sunrise reading Positively Pumpkin and finishing Squashy’s outfit for her birthnight party. Feeling a little happier now that she had pumpkins on the brain, she stepped into her bedroom, straight into a puddle of goblin-slime superglue.

  “Oops,” Amelia squeaked. “Better not tell Mom about this…”

  “It’s my birthnight, Squashy!” Amelia sang as the pumpkin alarm clock squeeeeeed at Sunday moonrise.

  Squashy was bouncing around so much he pooped on the floor.

  Amelia pulled on her best pumpkin outfit and dressed Squashy in the little bow tie and glasses she’d made for him.

  “Mom! Dad!” Amelia called as she skipped down the spiral staircase. “Happy birthniiight to meeeeeee! Are you ready to go to the Pumpkin Patch?”

  But there was no answer.

  “Mooooooom! Daaaaaaad!” she yelled louder. Still no answer.

  “Hmmm, they must be there already putting up the decorations,” she said to Squashy. “Come on, let’s go!”

  Nocturnia was particularly cloudy that night. The only things illuminating the gray were the strange blue specks still floating across the sky.

  “Come on, Squashy! Almost there!” said Amelia excitedly. “This is going to be the best birthnight party ev—”

  Amelia stopped dead as the Pumpkin Patch came into view.

  It was empty.

  Not one creature was there—not her best friends, not even her mom or dad. And there wasn’t a single decoration in sight. Amelia stood in silence.

  Maybe everyone will burst out from their hiding places and surprise me? Amelia thought.

  She waited in anticipation. But minutes went by, and still there was no one. Did no one care? Maybe Florence and Grimaldi were still angry! MAYBE they had decided they didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. The thought made Amelia’s chin wobble.

  Suddenly, Amelia heard a shuffle and a groan behind her, and a very green-looking Tangine limped toward her, followed by Pumpy. Behind him, a Mummy Maid was pushing a royal wheelbarrow full of cookie boxes.

  “Happy birthnight, Amelia!” Tangine called. “Thought we might be able to sell some of our cookies at the party,” he said, pointing to the wheelbarrow. “Karl is here to help too.” The tall Mummy Maid waved awkwardly. Tangine looked as if he might collapse.

  “Tangine!” said Amelia. “You’re far too sick to be out of bed.”

  “I didn’t want to miss your birthnight party.” He gave a strained smile. “ALSO, we need to sell our cookies to win the competition,” he said, before frowning at the empty Pumpkin Patch. “Am I early?”

  Amelia sighed. “You’re perfectly on time, but it seems everybody else is late or has forgotten about my party….” She trailed off.

  “Well, maybe if we wait a bit longer, they’ll turn up.” Tangine smiled. “Not everyone’s as punctual as me!” He lifted a hand to pat Amelia’s shoulder but ended up falling face-first into a pile of baby pumpkins instead.

  Hours passed, and
still nobody showed up to Amelia’s party. Squashy and Pumpy had munched through a box of Belly-Button Fluff cookies between them and were now trying to munch through the rest of the boxes in the wheelbarrow.

  “No! I said you could have one box as a special treat,” said Amelia, picking Squashy up. “You can’t eat any more.” She rubbed Squashy’s tummy.

  Ignoring Amelia, Squashy wiggled his stem impatiently and tried to bounce out of her arms to nibble at another box. “Hey, Squashy! That’s naughty…. Don’t do that! I think you’ve had too much sugar!”

  Tangine picked himself up from the ground. “I don’t think anyone’s coming to the party,” he said, stating the obvious.

  “Maybe we should go home,” Amelia sighed. Squashy had started to bounce away into the cobbled streets of Nocturnia. “Squashy!” Amelia called. “Hey, Squashy! Don’t bounce too far away, please. Squashyyyyy!” But he wasn’t listening. Pumpy followed suit, the sounds of his PA-DOOFs fading into the distance.

  “What’s gotten into them?” Tangine asked, struggling to stand up straight. “Pumpy was behaving so well until now. Maybe Squashy has been a bad influence….”

  “No way!” Amelia argued. “Squashy is usually as good as gold.” She grabbed the wheelbarrow and tipped it upside down so that all the cookie boxes fell out. “Quick, get in!” she said gesturing toward the empty wheelbarrow.

  “Why?” asked Tangine.

  “You’re sick, and we need to move fast to catch up with our pet pumpkins. So get in, and I’ll push!” Amelia said urgently.