Unwritten

by Rachel Lacey

  “Well, I just couldn’t wait until Tuesday to see you,” Doreen said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  Kate’s fingernails bit into her palms. The nerve of Doreen, showing up here like this, unannounced and uninvited, after all these years…

  “I think I saw someone from the paparazzi outside,” Doreen said, glancing around dramatically. “He had one of those big cameras.”

  Was that a threat? Fucking hell. There was no way she could let Doreen talk to the paparazzi, not if she had any hope of preventing it. She clenched her jaw and sucked in a deep breath. “Marv, you can send her up.”

  9

  Kate pulled the door open. A hot, prickly sensation crawled up her neck as she met her mother’s blue eyes. They stood in silence for a moment, taking each other in.

  Doreen’s white-blonde hair was short and heavily styled. She wore black leggings and a red tunic with a plunging neckline that was about two sizes too small. Still showing off her assets, even now. The stale odor of cigarettes clung to her like a shroud, and wrinkles lined her face. There was a pallor to her complexion, reminding Kate that she wasn’t well.

  Kate had been just seventeen, her mother not yet forty, when they saw each other last. Doreen looked smaller…older. So much older. A painful lump swelled in Kate’s throat.

  “Kate.” Doreen extended her arms as if to hug her. “It’s been such a long time.”

  “Yes, it has.” Kate forced her feet to move, to step aside and allow her mother into her home. It was like telling birds to fly north for the winter.

  “I could hardly believe it when that girl showed up last month, telling me she was Wade’s daughter, your sister. That he had died.”

  Well, at least they had that in common. “You didn’t know about Lori?”

  Doreen shook her head. “Wade and I didn’t exactly keep in touch.”

  “Why are you here, Mom?”

  “I want to see you, of course.” Doreen’s gaze slid past Kate to the room behind them, no doubt appraising her success. “You have no idea how worried I was all those years, wondering where you were and if you were okay.”

  Her throat tightened. Was that true? Had her mother tried to get in touch and not known how to find her? “I always assumed you’d seen me on TV and knew who I was.”

  Doreen waved a hand in front of herself with a laugh. “Well, you know how I am. I’m clueless about all that celebrity stuff. Of course, I’ve listened to your songs on the radio and heard people talk about Katherine Hayes, but I had no idea they were talking about my Katelyn.”

  Katelyn Hathaway. The name brought goose bumps to Kate’s skin. She wasn’t that girl, not anymore.

  “I still can’t believe it.” Doreen stepped forward and flung her arms around Kate.

  Kate gave her a halfhearted hug before backing out of her embrace. “You disowned me.”

  “Well, I was just so hurt. Jim was the love of my life, you know?”

  Kate sucked in a breath. “If—” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “If you still believe that, then there’s nothing left for us to talk about.”

  “Maybe I overreacted,” Doreen said with a wave of her hand. “I only ever really loved two men, you know. Wade and Jim. Wade left because he couldn’t handle being a father.”

  Kate drew back. “So that’s my fault too?”

  “Well, no, of course not, but it may have been part of why I reacted so strongly when I walked in on you and Jim.” Doreen gave her an imploring look. “But I forgive you now, Kate. It’s all water under the bridge.”

  “I’m not the one who needs to be forgiven.” That hot, prickly sensation was back, crawling up her neck. Kate walked to the window in the living room, staring down at Central Park, choking on the knowledge that her mother still blamed her for what had happened. She tried to focus on the yellow cabs crawling by below the window, but her vision blurred.

  “We’ve already wasted so many years,” Doreen said finally. “There I was, struggling to make ends meet, and you were living here in this penthouse…”

  “It’s not a penthouse, and stop changing the subject. You disowned me. I needed you, and you turned your back on me.” She felt seventeen again, battered, broken, and abandoned. Tears burned her eyes, but she’d be damned if she’d let Doreen see her cry.

  “How did you expect me to react?” Doreen’s voice rose. “I loved him.”

  “Did he ever hold a gun to your head, Mom?” she whispered. The room fell so silent, she could hear her own pulse throbbing in her ears.

  Doreen slapped her across the face, hard.

  Kate’s vision flashed black. The sour smell of his sweat filled her nostrils. Her cheerleading skirt ripped, the sound echoing as it bounced around inside her skull. The bitter, metallic taste of blood. Vomit rose up and burned the back of her throat. Her cheek stung, and she focused on the pain, forcing the memories away, clamping them back into another part of her brain to be dealt with later.

  “Don’t ever lay a hand on me again,” she whispered, curling her fingers against the desire to slap her mother back.

  “Oh, spare me the theatrics. You always were an actress.”

  Kate gulped deep breaths as she forced her stage face back in place. This was the Doreen she knew. This was the mean, spiteful woman she’d lived happily without for twelve years.

  “Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you.” Doreen clasped her hands in front of herself. “I’m sick, Kate. I don’t know how much time I have left, but I don’t want to waste any more of it.”

  Pain lanced through Kate’s chest. “Are you dying?”

  “I don’t know.” Doreen looked past her to the window, real emotion contorting her features for the first time. “I’ve started radiation treatments, so we’ll have to see how it goes.”

  “I’ll pay for whatever you need.” Kate felt detached from herself, as if she were listening to someone else speak. “I’ll make sure you’ve got the best doctors and care.”

  “Oh, thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.” Tears streaked Doreen’s cheeks, although Kate suspected this was what she’d been after the whole time…money, and her own fifteen minutes of fame.

  “All I ask in return is that you promise not to sell any stories about me to the tabloids.” This was what she and Harry had agreed on for their planned meeting with her mother on Tuesday.

  “But I’ve already had some interest.” Doreen puffed out her chest. “They’re offering me big bucks.”

  “No tabloids,” Kate repeated.

  “Okay,” Doreen agreed with a sigh, “but the best doctors are here in New York, so you’ll need to put me up somewhere nice here in the city.”

  “Fine.” Kate clenched her jaw. A headache began to pulse behind her right eye.

  “Thank you. I really do appreciate you looking out for me like this.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I saw you’re dating someone new,” her mother said, her expression coy. “A mystery man.”

  Kate kept her gaze cool and impartial despite the fact she was having increasing difficulty breathing. Doreen might as well have wrapped her scrawny hands around her neck and squeezed.

  “Just remember what I’ve always said: nice men don’t fall in love with girls like us.”

  As if she could ever forget.

  * * *

  Josh knocked on Kate’s door with a bag of sandwiches from Tony’s Deli in his hand, hoping she didn’t mind him showing up unexpectedly like this, but he’d been thinking about her ever since he got up and he couldn’t wait another damn minute to see her again.

  She pulled the door open, wearing a yellow top and cream-colored skirt that hugged her curves, and his whole body went haywire at the sight of her. His heart started to race, and this funny feeling took hold of his stomach, like he’d just swallowed a bunch of fireworks and they were all detonating inside him in a fiery blast.

  He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a kiss, but almost as
soon as his lips brushed hers, he realized something was wrong. She was tense—rigidly so—and her heart was pounding so hard, it seemed to shake her whole body. He lifted his head. “You okay?”

  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, not quite meeting his eyes. “It’s just—”

  “Well, if it isn’t Kate’s mystery man, in the flesh.” A woman walked up behind her, fixing him with an overbright smile. She was older than Kate, early fifties maybe, although there was a certain resemblance between them.

  “Oh, sorry.” He glanced from Kate to the other woman. “I didn’t realize you had company.”

  “No, it’s okay.” Kate reached out and grabbed his hand. There was a wild look in her eye, something that put him in mind of a cornered animal. Alarmed, he stepped closer to her.

  “Doreen Hathaway.” The older woman stuck out her hand. “I’m Kate’s mother.”

  Her mother. But Kate had told him she was estranged from her mother…

  “Josh Randall.” He took her hand and shook.

  “My mother was just leaving,” Kate said.

  “Fine, fine. I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. It was lovely meeting you, Josh. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again soon.” With a wave, Doreen swept from the room, closing the door behind her.

  He took Kate’s hands in his. “You okay?” he asked again.

  This time, she shook her head, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. Her hands trembled, and there was a faraway look in her eyes.

  “Your mom?” he asked gently.

  “She just showed up…I just…I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

  “Fair enough.” He wrapped her in his arms and held her until the tension had leaked out of her body. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her hair. “I brought lunch.”

  “You didn’t get sick of me yesterday?” She glanced up at him with a small smile.

  “Hardly.” He tightened his arms around her. “And apparently, I didn’t scare you off with my geeky friends.”

  “Apparently not.” She undid the top button of his polo and pressed a kiss to his throat.

  The bag of sandwiches hit the floor with a dull thump.

  Then they were kissing, and it was every bit as fiery and intense as it had been between them last night, maybe more so. She tugged his shirt over his head and ran her fingers over his chest. His hand slid up her thigh beneath her skirt. They tumbled onto the couch.

  A seam ripped as he settled on top of her, and Kate went rigid beneath him. He rolled to his side. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head, her face pale, eyes glassy. “No, I’m fine.”

  But she obviously wasn’t, and he had a nasty feeling that whatever had just gone down between her and her mother had a lot to do with her current condition. He rubbed her back while she pulled herself together. After a minute, she sat up and leaned against him. Her whole body was shaking.

  “Jesus, Kate.” He tucked her against his chest.

  “I’m okay. It’s just a m-migraine coming on.” She closed her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. Can I do anything?”

  “No, thanks. I just need to take a pill and lie down.” She stood, pressed a hand over her eyes, and sagged back onto the couch beside him.

  * * *

  The pain swept over her like a wave, swelling behind her eyes until she thought they might burst from the pressure. She sucked in a breath.

  Josh held her close, where no doubt he could feel her shaking. “Let me help you.”

  “My p-pills.” God, why couldn’t she stop stuttering?

  “Where are they?” he asked softly.

  “Upstairs, in the medicine cabinet.” She measured her breaths, counting to ten and back to keep herself under control. This shouldn’t be happening, after all these years. She hated feeling weak, hated herself for letting the memories creep back in after all this time.

  “Kate.”

  She jumped at the sound of Josh’s voice. Squinting up at him, she accepted the amber-colored bottle and glass of water he held toward her. She swallowed two pills and sank back against the couch. His arms slid beneath her, lifting her. She pressed her face against his shirt, blocking out the light. The next thing she knew, the silk sheets of her bed caressed her cheek.

  “Better?” His voice was laced with concern.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Do you get them like this a lot?”

  “What?” The cool silk felt so good against her flushed skin.

  “Migraines?” His fingers brushed across her temple.

  “Not usually this bad.” But this was what happened when she let herself remember…

  Doreen. Jim. Fuck.

  Josh pressed his fingers against the spot between her eyes that throbbed most viciously, and she flinched. His thumbs stroked her forehead, then moved to the outer corner of her eyes. Miraculously, the pain began to dissipate. She blew out a sigh of relief.

  “Does that help?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  His fingers swept over her throat, lingering for a moment on her neck. She lurched upright, a scream bursting on her tongue. It came out nothing but a strangled gasp. Her hands were on her throat, a protective reflex. She forced them to her sides and collapsed against the sheet.

  He gave her hands a quick squeeze. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” She squeezed her eyes shut against the dizzying resurgence of pain.

  Josh repeated his magic on her temples, then moved down to massage her feet, focusing on a spot between her big toe and second toe. The anvil stabbing into her brain reduced to a butter knife.

  “How did you do that?” Her voice was a whisper.

  “I used to know someone who was a doctor. She learned some acupressure techniques in med school. I was always fascinated by it.”

  She. Kate’s brain stumbled over that word, but she was too muddled to care. Not only had he soothed her pain, he’d somehow managed to calm the raging terror that had been about to consume her just minutes ago.

  His lips brushed her forehead. “Better?”

  “Yes.” So much better.

  “Get some sleep.” He lay beside her, his hand on her arm, warm and comforting.

  She closed her eyes, but she didn’t dare sleep. The nightmares today would be too real to stomach. Instead, she lay quietly, keeping her breaths slow and even. Josh had already seen so much more than he should have. He shouldn’t be here, not now. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to leave.

  * * *

  Josh rode the elevator to the lobby, numb.

  What the hell happened to you, Kate?

  The way she’d reacted when he touched her neck…fuck. Had someone hurt her? Choked her? His chest felt uncomfortably tight.

  What else had they done to her?

  He stepped outside into the cool evening air and drew a deep breath, heading straight into Central Park. No subway tonight. He needed the air and the exercise to clear his head.

  His phone rang from the back pocket of his jeans. He slid it out and smiled. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Josh, how are you? We missed you yesterday.”

  “Sorry, I was at Gabe’s big cookout. How did it go?” He felt a twinge of guilt for missing another one of his dad’s fundraising dinners, but he didn’t regret anything about last night. Hell, just thinking about what he and Kate had shared under the spell of the Spanish guitar nearly brought him to his knees.

  “Wonderfully. He’s really picking up momentum. It would mean a lot if you could be at the next fundraiser.”

  “I will be, Mom. Definitely.”

  “Josh…” His mother’s voice dropped, and Josh felt the pit of his stomach squeeze again. “What’s going on with you and that pop singer?”

  “Kate. Her name is Kate.” He sucked in a deep breath. “We’re dating.”

  “Oh, honey, you know how happy it makes me to see you dating again. But this woman? I heard there are nude photos, and she smokes pot—”<
br />
  “Mom, you know me better than that. Kate’s a great person. You’d like her.”

  She sighed. “If you say so, I’m sure I would. It’s just, with your father’s campaign…well, it’s not the right time to have the family attached to any kind of scandal.”

  “I know that, and we’ve agreed to keep my name out of the headlines.” And yet, the paparazzi had already managed to get several pictures of them together. How long until someone recognized him?

  “I trust you, Josh, but be careful. You dating Katherine Hayes sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I just don’t want to see you, or your father, get hurt.”

  * * *

  Kate’s condo was being set up for a photo shoot on Tuesday afternoon, so she and Josh jogged from her place to his. Her pre-tour exercise regime paired nicely with his triathlon training so that they worked out together whenever possible. They skirted through the park and exited at Ninety-Seventh Street, then down a block to his apartment on Ninety-Sixth.

  Only three blocks from Central Park, the street was a busy combination of apartment buildings and local businesses, including a pet store called Claws and Paws, Mimi’s Market, and Taquería la Poblana, which according to Josh, sold the best tacos in town.

  They stopped in front of an unassuming five-story brick building with a green awning over the entrance and the classic maze of fire escapes running like a metal grapevine up its side. This was the first time she’d been to Josh’s apartment. You could tell a lot about a person by the place they called home, and she was more than a little curious to see his.

  He lived in a prewar building, with cream-colored walls, high ceilings rimmed with intricate crown molding, and parquet floors that were probably original to the building. The room was long and rectangular, with large windows at one end that brought in lots of natural light and revealed a glimpse of the tree-lined street below.

  There was a small table with three chairs by the kitchen area, a brown leather couch situated along the wall across from a flat screen TV, and a king-size bed in the bedroom nook on the far side of the room.