Unwritten

by Rachel Lacey

  “Great place,” she said. “It suits you.”

  “How so?”

  “Classic. Lots of history. Full of light.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Full of light?”

  “With a few dark shadows in the corners.” She walked to the bookshelf, drawn by a row of family photos. The first photo was of a middle-aged couple who had to be his parents standing with a much younger Josh and a girl she assumed was his sister, Lily. Her gaze drifted to Josh’s father’s blue uniform and locked on the gun holstered at his hip. A chill prickled across her skin. Her throat tightened, and she rubbed a hand over it. “Your dad’s a cop?”

  “Police chief now and running for mayor.” His voice swelled with pride. “Little town of Umbridge, Massachusetts.”

  “Oh, wow.” She swallowed hard and turned her attention to the next picture. There was another photo of his parents, one of Lily and her husband, and at the end of the shelf, a picture of Josh with another woman. Kate stopped short in surprise. The woman in the photo was beautiful, with straight black hair and a warm, inviting smile. Josh’s arm rested across her shoulders in the intimate way of lovers.

  Kate pointed to the photo. “Who’s this?”

  His smile faded. “That’s Noelia. She was my fiancée.”

  She chewed her lip. The idea of Josh keeping a photo of a former girlfriend in his living room left a bad taste in her mouth. “And she no longer is?”

  He turned toward the window and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Noelia died two years ago.”

  She reeled backward, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.”

  Josh kept his back to her, his shoulders tense.

  So this is why he hasn’t been with anyone in two years. Holy hell.

  She crossed the room and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

  He accepted her touch, his expression distant. “She was in a car accident on the way home from her bridal shower. Drunk driver. They said she died instantly, never felt a thing.”

  Kate tensed. She thought of her father, who died while driving under the influence. Her family, the drunks. His, the victims. She kept her hand on Josh’s shoulder. “That’s…that’s horrible.”

  He turned, looking past Kate to the photo of his dead fiancée. “It’s okay.”

  But it wasn’t. There was pain, so much pain etched into the lines of his face. His eyes glistened with it. Sadness rolled off him in tangible waves.

  A lump grew in Kate’s throat, and she gulped it back. “Tell me about her. I mean, if you want to.” It was a ridiculous thing she was asking, for him to share his most painful secrets with her when she wouldn’t and couldn’t ever share hers with him.

  “We met in high school. She came here as an exchange student from Spain.” A smile touched his lips, and he squeezed her hand as they walked to the couch.

  “High school,” she repeated. “So, oh my God, am I the first person you’ve dated since you were a teenager?”

  “That’s a fact.”

  “Well, crap, no wonder you were so nervous on our first date.”

  “Bingo. Yeah, I was a little off my game, and you were…well, you.”

  She stiffened. “I acted like a hot-shot celebrity and made you feel like a schmuck.”

  He managed a faint smile. “It was an interesting night.”

  “Definitely memorable. Tell me more about Noelia. She was from Spain? What did she do for a living?”

  Josh stared at his hands. “She moved here after high school, although we visited her family often. She was a doctor. A pediatrician. That’s why we waited so long to get married. Between med school, and her residency, and a fellowship in Philadelphia, our life together was just starting.”

  Noelia. The woman who’d given him his love for all things Spanish. The doctor who’d taught him acupressure.

  Kate wrapped her arms around him and held him for a long time. She felt as if she’d shrunk several inches in Noelia’s shadow. Perfect Noelia, her life dedicated to helping sick children and loving Josh. No wonder he was so turned off by Kate’s glitzy, shallow showbiz lifestyle. Tears swam in her eyes as she absorbed his pain. “I can’t imagine what that’s been like for you, not only losing Noelia, but the whole life you’d planned for yourself.”

  He walked to the window. “I’ve been a bit of a hermit lately, I’m afraid. Lily and my mom were conspiring to start setting me up on blind dates.”

  “So that’s why you agreed to no strings.” To get his family off his back about dating. She could barely swallow over the pain in her throat.

  “Yes.” He stared at the photo of Noelia with such longing that Kate took a step back toward the door.

  “You’re still in love with her.”

  He didn’t answer at first, although the truth was written clearly on his face. Kate’s heart stumbled. Of course, he still loved Noelia. The real question was why she felt as if the air had been punched from her lungs, because love had never been a possibility for her and Josh.

  Two weeks. Just sex.

  “Yes,” he answered finally. “I’ve loved her since I was sixteen. Noelia was my soul mate. I don’t know if something like that comes along twice, you know?”

  “Nice men don’t fall in love with girls like us.”

  Her mother’s words echoed in her ears. It was one of the few things Doreen had been right about. And it was okay. Kate’s true love was the stage. That was why she kept all her relationships short-term and free of commitment. Obviously, it was for the best that she’d be leaving New York soon because right now, the only thing she could think was how it might feel if Josh looked at her the way he looked at Noelia, and that was a hell of a stupid, crazy thing to want.

  He faced the window. “I guess I’m afraid anything else would just be settling for second best.”

  Kate blinked, tucking her hands around her waist. “Right.”

  He turned to her. “I’m sorry. That came out totally wrong. I didn’t mean—”

  “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

  “Really? Because—”

  “Josh…it’s okay.”

  He nodded. “What about you? Have you ever lost someone you loved?”

  She looked away. “No.”

  “What’s that they say? It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved. I don’t know. You tell me.”

  “I’m definitely not the right person to answer that.”

  His eyes settled on hers. “Why’s that?”

  “I guess I’m just not a fall-in-love-and-get-married kind of girl.” And she would be smart to keep her own words in mind, because in a week and a half, she would be leaving New York, and Josh, behind.

  Part II

  KATHERINE’S MYSTERY MAN

  September 17 - #1 Celebrity News Source

  Katherine Hayes has been spotted around town with a new squeeze. In a departure from her usual string of Hollywood costars, her new mystery man seems to be someone outside the business. Perhaps someone she met during one of her daily jogs through Central Park? Time will tell, or maybe Katherine will.

  10

  Kate sat in the passenger seat of Josh’s rented Xterra on Saturday morning. Like most New Yorkers, he didn’t own a car, finding it more economical to rent on the rare occasion he needed to drive. Her excitement for their daylong getaway to Newport was tempered by a feeling of dread over the route they had to drive to get there.

  It had sounded romantic when she suggested it. She hadn’t been to Newport in years, and she adored its quaint New England seaside. But seriously, had she forgotten basic US geography? As soon as Connecticut welcomed them on a big blue sign, her stomach constricted. Her heart raced, and sweat dampened her forehead.

  Josh glanced over. “You okay?”

  “Just a little carsick.” She pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the car’s window and forced herself to take slow, deep breaths. This wouldn’t be happening if Doreen hadn’t come back into her life, dredging up mem
ories better left buried.

  “Want me to pull over? There’s a rest area coming up.”

  “No. Really, I’m fine.”

  She gritted her teeth and made small talk for the next half hour despite the panic clawing frantically inside her. Exit Forty-One, Woodbridge, the big green sign announced. Too late, she tried to close her eyes, to block it out, to have looked away instead.

  “Katelyn, what have you done?” Her mother’s voice trembled with rage. Her hands fisted against her sides as if it was all she could do not to bring them against Kate’s already battered face. Doreen’s words hurt more than any physical blow she had taken, because her mother should have defended her.

  “Mom—” Kate’s voice broke. Fresh tears welled in her eyes. Blood streaked the skirt of her cheerleading uniform. Her body shook.

  “You good-for-nothing little whore. How could you do this to me?”

  Doreen’s fist rose.

  “Kate?”

  She gasped, lunging away, and her head smacked into cold, hard glass. She leaned forward in her seat, burying her face in her arms against the dashboard while she grappled for control. After a minute, she felt the SUV slow to a stop. She lifted her head.

  Josh was leaning over her, his eyes narrowed with concern.

  “Fuck,” she mumbled. She unclipped her seat belt, opened the door, and stumbled out into the fresh air. Her hands shook furiously, so she clamped them under her arms.

  Josh had pulled over at one of the rest areas that lined I-95 through Connecticut, a conglomeration of fast food, gasoline, and restrooms all stuck together and swarming with people. She sat on the curb.

  “What happened?” he asked. “It looked like you almost passed out just now.”

  She sucked in a breath, searching her panicked brain for a reasonable explanation for her actions. “I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. I guess I got a little light-headed.”

  Josh dropped down beside her so close, their shoulders touched. His hand cupped her chin so he could stare into her eyes. “You sure that’s all it was?”

  For a painful moment, she imagined what it would feel like to fling herself into his arms and let him hold her until she felt whole again. His hazel eyes stared into hers, his brow wrinkled with concern. The need to let him hold her was almost overpowering, except she’d learned long ago not to lean on anyone. Survival was so much easier on her own. “I’m sure.”

  As much as she wanted to get on the road and get the hell out of Connecticut, she needed a few minutes to compose herself before she got back in the car with Josh. “I’m going to use the restroom while we’re here. I’ll be right back.”

  She dove into the crowd streaming into the rest area, keeping her head low and her hair in her face. No one gave her a second glance. She locked herself in a bathroom stall and took slow, deep breaths until her heart rate came back to normal and the bile receded from her throat.

  She went to the sink and splashed some water on her face, then headed for the door.

  Josh stood beside the car, holding a cup of yogurt and a bottle of water. “Something told me after all that you still wouldn’t get yourself anything to eat.”

  “Thank you.” She leaned in to give him a quick kiss, then climbed into the SUV, taking the yogurt and water from him. She hadn’t before, but she did feel nauseous now. It made her sick that she’d panicked in front of Josh. With an iron grip on her emotions, she watched as the exits ticked by toward Rhode Island.

  * * *

  “I’m putting all my trust in you, Josh Randall.” Kate rested her head on his shoulder as they walked. “My entourage is in New York, so you’re on your own.”

  Josh tightened his arm around her. “Don’t worry. You’re in good hands.”

  Even after their stop in Connecticut, they had arrived in Newport by ten. They parked the Xterra and were strolling down a quiet street lined with shops, headed toward the ocean. It was a beautiful September day in Rhode Island, mid-seventies beneath a cloudless sky.

  Kate looked radiant in khaki pants and a purple top, her hair blowing in the breeze. Josh couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was feeling things, powerful things he refused to put a name to. She’d been as good as her word that night, having gone out of her way to keep him separated from her professional life and his name out of the tabloids.

  And in return, he’d basically told her she was second best. He wished every day that he could take those words back. Kate was no one’s second best. Surely she knew that. Because there was no way for him to tell her, not without overstepping the boundaries of their relationship.

  He was worried about her, though. She seemed fine now, but he wasn’t sure what had happened in the car, or at her condo last Sunday for that matter. He was starting to think she was keeping something from him, a medical condition or…something else.

  She’d been hurt, that much was clear. He might never know how or by whom. And he had to be okay with that. He squeezed her hand, and she turned to gaze up at him with a smile so sweet, his heart gave an extra beat.

  A young girl, maybe twelve years old, was walking toward them with her mother at her side. She glanced up, spotted Kate, and stopped dead in her tracks. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes bugged like a fish out of water.

  Josh’s shoulders tensed. Even here, they couldn’t go unnoticed.

  Kate grinned, dropping his hand. “Shhh,” she said to the girl with a wink, as if her identity would be their secret.

  The girl clamped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God!”

  “What’s your name, sweetie?” Kate asked, still smiling.

  “Laura…Laura Matthews.” The girl turned to her mom with tears in her eyes. “This is my mom, Marie. I’m such a huge fan. I am seriously freaking out right now.”

  Kate pressed a hand against her chest. “Well, I’m so glad I bumped into you, Laura. You’ve made my day.”

  Laura’s mom held up her phone. “Do you mind?”

  “Of course not.” Kate put an arm around her young fan while Laura’s mom snapped a photo. “I think I blinked,” Kate said with a laugh. “You’d better take another.”

  Kate and Laura posed together for several more photos while the girl babbled about how much she loved a song called “Best Life.”

  “Want to know a secret?” Kate asked.

  Laura nodded eagerly.

  “‘Best Life’ is going to be the next single. Now you have the scoop to tell your friends at school on Monday.”

  Laura’s eyes went wide as saucers.

  “Thank you so much for your time, Ms. Hayes.” Laura’s mom tugged at the starstruck girl. With a quick hug from Kate, they were on their way.

  Kate let out a happy sigh as she slipped her hand back into his. “She was so sweet.”

  It happened to her every day, usually many times a day, and yet he had never seen her appear annoyed by a fan.

  She looked up and frowned, sensing his change in mood. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You’re right. She was cute, and you made her day.”

  “Come here.” She dragged him into one of the little shops lining the street. With a devilish grin, she grabbed a floppy beach hat from the rack and plopped it on her head. “Would this help?”

  “I was leaning toward this one, actually.” He picked up a straw hat more likely to be worn by someone’s grandmother.

  “Oh, you’re right. That’s charming.”

  Eventually, she settled on a white cotton bucket hat embroidered with a little blue sailboat and purple-rimmed sunglasses. He was touched that she was willing to go incognito for him yet again.

  They had lunch at a sidewalk café. Josh ordered lobster rolls and lemonade as Kate sat quietly, texting someone—probably Jenn—on her phone. The food was delicious, and they held hands like any other happily dating couple.

  “So what’s going on with your mom?” he asked.

  Something like a shadow flickered across her face. “She’s sick. Cancer.”

  “I’m
sorry.”

  “I got her a place in the city so that she’ll be closer to her treatments. She’s moving in this weekend.”

  He would have expected nothing less from Kate. “How long had you been estranged?”

  “Twelve years.” She sipped from her lemonade, her expression distant.

  He did some mental math and figured Kate would still have been in high school at the time. Hell. “And have you worked things out?”

  She lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “I don’t know that we ever will, but I have to put it aside right now until she’s better.”

  “Totally understandable.” He took her hand as they left the café.

  That afternoon, they toured a couple of mansions. Kate whispered naughty suggestions in his ear as they stood in the middle of their tour group. She’d removed her sunglasses for the tour and kept the hat pulled low to shadow her face. She seemed to be enjoying her anonymity, even exchanging small talk with another woman in the group as they walked.

  Josh suppressed a laugh when he heard her speaking in a British accent. Was there anything this woman couldn’t do? He noticed a few whispers and stares, but no one really seemed to think Katherine Hayes would be here, sans entourage, walking among them.

  “Have you ever seen so much marble?” she whispered. “I feel like we’re walking around inside a painting.”

  After the tour, they walked down a path along the cliffs beside the ocean. Kate shivered in the cool ocean breeze. He rubbed his hands over her arms, and she leaned against him as they watched waves crashing onto the rocks below. It was ridiculous how comfortable he felt with her, how much he looked forward to seeing her again every time he said good night.

  Kate had a girly, feminine side that was completely foreign to him. Her bedroom was a frothy confection of lavender, silk, and lace. He’d glimpsed the inside of her closet and thought she might own more shoes than a department store. She had this cute habit of always dressing from the skin out in the same color. Her bra and panties were always a matched set and always complemented the color of her clothes. It was an undeniable turn-on for him to see her outfit and begin imagining what she wore beneath.