Case of the Great Danish

by Erik Schubach

  I swayed side to side in satisfaction as I clipped up Tink. “Let's go kids.”

  It took a while to navigate the busy streets in the sloppy, slushy streets in Jane's SUV. New York was awake and back with a vengeance. I couldn't suppress my smile as I watched the people of the city I call home crowding the streets and sidewalks, bringing our metropolis to life as they headed off to work. It was like the universe hadn't been put on hold for the holiday, and they were all oblivious to the drama that had unfolded just outside their windows the prior night.

  We pulled up to Havermail's Baked Goods, and Tinkerbell was visibly animated when she was normally so laid back. It was obvious that she knew where we were and my heart broke for her. She still didn't know.

  Jane sat there and just watched me in that inscrutable way she had. Then she said, “You know you got this, Finny. Cal and I will circle the block since there isn't any parking until the snowbanks are moved.” All she had to do was flick on her lights as this was actual police business. It was her way of saying I was better with people than she was... and she knew I'd want to say goodbye to the goofy, fuzzy, brown eyed girl in the back seat, alone.

  I squished my lips to one side then stabbed my fingers at my eyes then hers. The twit just chuckled at me as I slid out into the chilly air, immediately missing the warmth of the heated vehicle. Tinkerbell was all too happy to get out and plow her own way toward the bakery. I was barely able to shut the door to stop Cal from following before I was squealing and stumbling over the snowbank Tinkerbell was plowing her way over.

  I squeaked out, “A path was shoveled just two steps over girl! Ack!” I stumbled and almost tripped over the top of the bank and had to run down or be pulled along the ground on my face.

  She sliced through the pedestrian traffic, and they split for the huge pup. And then she whined at the door and looked back at me expectantly. I smiled sadly. “Ok, sweetie, just hang on.”

  I patted her head, and she got excited as I reached for the door, her tail was thumping my side like a log, and I had to smile as I opened the door. The next moment I was stumbling through the bakery, and I had to pull out every trick I have learned as a dog walker having to deal with dogs sometimes half my weight with better leverage being lower to the ground.

  This dog weighed more than me by twenty pounds at the very least. I'd never walked a Dane or a Mastiff because of my small stature.

  I angled my legs and planted my feet as I lowered my center of gravity slightly. This slowed the goofy girl, and my shoes squeaked as she pulled me a couple steps more like I was skiing behind her. I said in an authoritative tone, “Tinkerbell.”

  She stopped to look back at me, her tail still swishing. I said, “Sit,” as I gave the hand signal, hoping she knew one or the other. She sat, and I smiled hugely at her. “Good girl.”

  The woman at the counter was watching us, an odd mixture of sadness, joy, and shock on her face. She was in her thirties and looked so much like the poor late Mrs. Havermail that I knew this had to be her daughter.

  I heard her excusing herself to the customers in line, and she hustled around the counter to scurry up to us as she wiped her hands on her apron. I blinked, just like Mrs. Havermail had, she was wearing a posh outfit that would have looked at home in any boardroom under that apron.

  Her smile blossomed like a flower greeting the sun as Tink wiggled her butt on the floor in excitement, then stood up on her hind legs, putting her platter sized front paws over the woman's shoulders and gave her a sloppy slurp of her doggy tongue. It was all I could do to dodge out of the way of the wrecking ball like tail that was freely swishing.

  By the sacred squeaky toy, the dog was bigger than me standing up like that and very nearly bigger than this woman who was as tall as my aggravating detective.

  The woman thumped the Great Dane's sides solidly as she chuckled in a low alto, then wrapped her arms around the dog's neck. “Hi, sweetie. I missed you too. Come on, now, get down, you're crushing me.”

  Tinkerbell... didn't get down. She was too excited, and the woman stumbled a little as the dog squiggled side to side in time with her tail. I chuckled and said firmly, “Tinkerbell, sit.” She sat, and the woman looked at me with wide eyes as she patted the dog's head.

  “You have to show me how you did that. Mom and I brought S-tinker to obedience school when she was a pup, but she didn't retain any of it.”

  Heh, stinker. That was cute. I explained as I unclipped the dog. “Oh, she remembers, she just chooses not to listen like any other kid. You have to be firm with the command.”

  I held out a hand as I fished out a business card. “Finnegan May. I'm so sorry about your mother.”

  Her smile died, and I felt like a heel. I knew first hand how being reminded of losing a parent so recently put a vise on your heart, and no amount of apology or well wishes did anything to ease the pain. I always felt so helpless being on this side of it, knowing nothing I could say would make it sting any less.

  Hell, I came to hate it in the days after dad's death. Every time someone said sorry or said we'd be in their prayers, or asked if there was anything they could do, I wanted to scream at them to go away. Them reminding me of it constantly only confirmed that it was real, no matter how much I just wanted it to be a nightmare I'd wake up from at any moment.

  I think maybe it was dad being taken away from us like that and people saying we were in their prayers is why I've never really been religious. Prayers didn't save dad from a terrible death. Prayers wouldn't bring him back. Prayers didn't fill the huge gap in my heart that had been filled by my father. And why would any God do that to a man and his family?

  Now here I was, not knowing what to say to a woman who had just lost her mother. The cruel irony of it all was not lost on me. I had no clue what to do with my hands. What did people do with their hands at a time like this? I found myself nervously smoothing down my winter coat.

  The woman reached over and laid a hand on my arm as I glanced to the end of the counter where the body had been. This pulled my attention back to her. She gave me a sad smile and said, “Mellisa Havermail-James. You're the woman who... found her. And you're the one who rescued Tinkerbell. And now you're taking time out of your day to bring her back to us. You're an angel on Earth. Thank you.”

  I'm no angel.

  I gave her a tight-lipped smile as I handed her my card and nudged my chin at the still excited Tink. “If you ever get overwhelmed and need someone to take Tinkerbell out to do her thing or the vet or anything so you can catch your breath. Just call. She's a sweetheart, and I'm happy to do whatever I can, no charge. She's family now.”

  She nodded to me and cocked her head at me. I felt awkward standing there with my eyes watering. The woman actually hugged me and whispered, “Thank you for everything.” Then she smiled and wiped away the water pooling in her own eyes as she straightened.

  She said, “Let me get the little S-tinker into the back office and wash my hands. Then let me get you something from the case. You're always welcome here, and everything is always on the house, Miss May.”

  I offered absently, “Fin.”

  She nodded and grabbed the huge wide collar with the cute hearts on it and tugged. “Come on girl, lets get you to your bed.” Tinkerbell just stood and loped after her, she was such a silly girl. I had to smile as I waved at the big fuzzy love bucket.

  Mellisa told the people in line, “Just one second.” Then they disappeared into the back. A minute later, she came back out, wiping her wet hands on a paper towel. She helped a couple of customers then called out to me, “What's your poison, Fin?”

  I wandered to the case. She didn't need to do this, she needed to... oooo Jane's danish. I said with a blush burning my cheeks, “My fiance loves the cheesecake danishes with the vanilla drizzle.”

  She grinned, excused herself from the customers again and went about bagging two danishes for me. She handed it over the case and said as I gratefully accepted it
, “He's got an angel for a girl. Thank you again, Fin.”

  I corrected her automatically, “She.”

  She cocked an eyebrow and inclined her head in acceptance with a grin. “She's got an angel for a girl.”

  Ok, my cheeks and neck were burning now. I squeaked, “Thanks Mellisa, bye,” as I waved from my hip and turned and scurried to the door.

  I, unlike Tinkerbell, had more sense and used the path that was shoveled through the snowbank. Jane was pulling up when my feet slipped out in front of me, and I landed on my butt, I started to giggle. Ok, so maybe Tink had more sense than me.

  I popped back up to my feet, and blurted out to the universe, “Hey,” when I saw Jane looking back, dragging her hand down her face as she shook her head. “What?”

  Shut up.

  I got into the car and pretended I hadn't just done the whoopity-butt-freeze as I shoved the bag in her face to stop her impending jerk-faced teasing. “I finally got your danish for you.”

  This made her eyes widen a bit, and she snatched the bag from my fingertips to look into it. She stuck her nose in and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes in almost erotic pleasure. Or was that just me imagining the erotic part. I mean, god her lips looked so... mmm.

  I looked back at Calvin and mocked Jane's voice, “Why thank you, Finnegan. It was nice of you to think of me. And your organizational skills are next to none.” Then I was squealing and laughing as she tickled my ribs. My fluffy armor was little help against the onslaught.

  Then she stopped and said, “Thank you, love. And I do not sound like that. And why would I bring up your organi...”

  “Shut up.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine!”

  Then she smiled and tilted the bag toward me, “Danish?” She was going to let me take one? Jess intoned that Jane loved these as much as sex.

  I took one and said the obvious, “Love you.”

  She smiled and took the second danish, held it to her nose to sniff with closed eyes, “Love you too.” Then she took a big bite and groaned in pleasure like she did in bed, making those special areas of me heat up. “I'm sorry. I know you had already got attached to Tinkerbell.”

  I nodded absently as I studied the danish, judging the most optimal attack vector. “I'll visit once in a while to see how she is doing, maybe Cal can have a play date.” Then I brightened. “Melissa says I get free danishes.”

  This made her blink and smirk at me. “Only you Fin. You going to eat that or you just going to study it all day?”

  I looked at it as we merged into traffic, heading toward the Precinct, then took a bite. Ok, now I was the one moaning. The flaky pastry simply melted in my mouth, and the cool, creamy sweetness of the cheesecake filling was the perfect compliment. The sweet icing made the overall effect of the danish close to orgasmic.

  I glanced over to a smug looking Jane as she ate as she drove, and I informed her with another mouthful of ambrosia, “I'm going to need that ring back.”

  She furrowed her brow, and I explained, “I'm going to marry this danish instead. I hope you understand.” She cocked an eyebrow in challenge, and I defended, “It's a really great danish.”

  She groaned, shaking her head. “How long have you wanted to say that?”

  I feigned shock and indignation as I ate. “Just thought of it.”

  She still had a look of incredulity on her face. Stupid cop. I sighed. “Fine, whatever. Ever since I learned Mrs. Havermail's dog was a Great Dane.”

  She looked at me, and I looked at her in defiance. Then she smiled, causing me to smile, and we both lost it and laughed. And I was amazed. Detective Jane McLeary was the one person in this world who really 'got' me... and I loved her for that.

  Calvin joined in the fun with a single bark at our silliness.

  I looked out the window at the winter wonderland, amazed and awestruck like every time I see it. I love New York!

  Epilogue

  That spring we all gathered around the conflict and watched my mother, Winfred Oleander May, as she bellowed out a challenge. She had the rage of battle flowing through her, and she was terrifying. I squeaked at the display and gripped Jane's hand as the balding man opposing her, bellowed his response as the two ran at each other, malice in their eyes.

  Jess was letting her girlfriend, my other best friend know, “Winnie's first on my freebie list, Fly-girl.”

  Ker was nodding. “You have no idea, Red. She was one of my first crushes growing up.”

  Eww eww eww. Just eww. That was my mom they were ogling and talking about. I would have reprimanded the smitten kittens if I wasn't so worried about this fight. Why wasn't someone trying to stop it? Why was Jane laughing so hard?

  Just before the two half-centenarians collided as they roared, mom planted a foot back, leaned forward slightly, her shoulder exposed. I squealed in distress at they impacted each other. The man, for a moment had a superior smirk of victory on his face, until his eyes widened, and his arms started flailing as mom leaned into it farther and stood, sending the man rebounding into the air then bouncing and tumbling in his oversized inflatable sumo suit, like a giant beach ball kicked by a child at the beach.

  He rolled away, humorously calling out like Yoda, “Defeated, I am!”

  People were clapping, laughing and cheering, mom brought her fists down in front of her the best she could around her inflatable sumo suit in a muscle man pose, and she roared out her battle cry again.

  The announcer was laughing into the microphone as he walked up to her. “The winner of this year's final Senior Sumo match...” He grabbed her arm and held it above her head. “Winnie May!”

  The crowd cheered louder at the improvised wrestling ring here on the Great Lawn in Central Park while my mother yelled out as she channeled Mel Gibson, “Freeeeeedom!”

  Ok, now I was giggling too.

  Why did she insist on doing things like this that got my heart beating so hard? I let go of the leash and Calvin went bounding over to her. Bouncing up in little leaps in front of her as his tongue lolled out. She exhaled in relief as the announcer pried the velcro seam in the back of the suit apart and she slipped out of it to crouch to hug Calvin. Puddles... well Puddles, made a puddle beside me on her leash.

  The man called for everyone to settle as he called up the medal winners. Mom got the gold medal and the big round Senior Sumo trophy that she would keep until next year, her name would be engraved on it below the prior champions names. Her erstwhile opponent in the final match, Stan, took the silver. And a pleasantly plump Hispanic woman, Mary, who looked to be in her mid-sixties took the bronze.

  After all the cheering and congratulations, the crowd started to dissipate on the lawn. Mom came over to us and hammed it up by making a show of biting the gold medal. MJ and Ker-bear were fawning all over her like groupies. Ok, fine, I had to grin.

  She looked at Jane and me, and prompted in a silly manner, “Eh heh?”

  Jane was nothing but a smirky grin as she said, “Congrats, Winnie, umm, mom. Well fought.”

  I chastised my mom. “Why do you insist on doing things like that? You could get hurt.”

  She smirked at me as Garrett patted her back in congratulation. “Seems to me it is safer than dog walking if you're any example.”

  Grr. Fair enough, I mean, when was the last time she was kidnapped or ran from killers?

  I broke into a big smile and admitted in a half whisper to her, “It did look like fun.” She smiled back, nodding as I offered to carry the trophy for her. “This would look great next to the Liberty Ladies Arm Wrestling Champion plaques. I can make a label for the shelf.”

  She patted my hand and said as only a mother can, “You do that sweetie.”

  This was such a fun thing to do on a Saturday morning.

  I glanced at Becky, who had Oscar on his lead and crinkled my nose just to make her smile. She looked sooo uncomfortable, leading with her belly. It looked like she was trying to sm
uggle a watermelon from a picnic under her maternity dress. My niece was playing hard to get, as it was two weeks past her due date, and Bek was going in on Monday to have labor induced. I told her, “Hang in there, sis, just two more days.”

  She chuckled and rested her free hand on her belly. “It won't be soon enough, I am so done with this.”

  We all smiled at her and how lovingly she was rubbing her belly. Gar was just being a guy and looking all proud like he had something to do with it. Well, he had a little to do with it in the beginning, but it was my sis-in-law who had the badass baby factory in her belly, who was having to haul the bun around in her oven.

  Jane backhanded his gut with a flick of her wrist, and he complained as he looked around at all of us women cocking eyebrows at him, “What? I'm outnumbered here.”

  Mom walked around our group... our family, and gave out hugs. Then turned to Jane and me. “Time to get back home, I have to write up this experience for work.”

  I nodded. Jane was only going to be with us until lunch, she was on another case but said she wouldn't miss seeing mom in a fat sumo suit for anything.

  Jess and Ker excused themselves, their hands intertwined, looking a dangerous combination of cute and sexy like that. “Fly-Girl is bringing me flying... and such.”

  Why did my cheeks heat at the, 'and such'?

  Since that day they had finally said the L-word to each other, they have been going at it like rabbits. They seemed to be completely insatiable for each other. So not much has changed except... I glanced at the rings on their fingers. Kerry had popped the question three months after that day. We are planning a double wedding for October first, here in the park, at the Turtle Pond with Belvedere Castle as a backdrop.

  Jane doesn't know how I was able to get the permit, as early fall was booked for the next three years at the Turtle Pond. But I walk Princess, the adorable little King Charles Caviler, for Beatrice Taylor, and she is with the permitting office that handles Central Park activities.

  Finnegan May, dog walker extraordinaire to the rescue. I struck a pose. And Kerry put a hand to the side of her mouth and spoke behind it to the group, “She's lost in her head again.”