Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition

by Kahlen Aymes

  We all laughed softly as we made our way back to the table where Harris was waiting. He stood up as we approached. “Ellie, would you like to dance?”

  “Uh… I was… sure, okay.” She looked reluctant, but took Harris’s proffered hand hesitantly. Harris’s expression softened and I felt Julia relax next to me, a deep sigh expelling from her lungs.

  As we watched them move off toward the center of the parquet dance floor, I turned Julia into my arms. “What about you, Mrs. Matthews? Would you care to dance with your husband? I promise not to step on your exquisite feet.”

  Her arms slid around my waist and she tilted her head up to look into my face. She had on ridiculously high heels, but I was still inches taller. I loved it. She seemed so fragile and perfect; so magnificent. Her skin was translucent and glowing and her full red mouth called to me in silence.

  “Mmm… I only said that…”

  Our bodies worked well together and dancing was no exception. I bent my head and took her mouth with mine, placing a gentle kiss on her luscious lips.

  “I know, my love.” I released her slightly and took her hand in mine, our fingers twining together as was our usual habit. Her head fell to my shoulder and her other hand clasped around my bicep as we made our way to the dance floor.

  I pulled her close and sucked in the sweet scent of her perfume as she snuggled into my shoulder, her head coming to rest just below my chin. I rubbed it back and forth on the top of her hair a few times because I couldn’t resist.

  “You feel so good,” I said softly as we swayed to the music. The lights were low and the dance floor was crowded. Paul and Marin had left earlier and Gabriel and Elyse were still dancing a few feet away. My mother smiled at me when she saw the way Julia and I were wrapped up together and I grinned at her over the top of Julia’s head. She nudged my dad and had him glance in our direction. He shook his head at us and smirked.

  I shrugged slightly and mouthed some words for their benefit, but so Julia wouldn’t hear. “I can’t help it.” They both smiled again before he twirled my mother around quickly at a tempo too fast for the music, eliciting a high-pitched laugh.

  I turned my attention to the soft woman in my arms and bent my head to kiss the bare skin of her shoulder. She moaned softly as my tongue pressed down between my open lips. The sound caused an immediate reaction in my body. She had so much control when she wasn’t even trying. I still found it mind-boggling.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Being away from you tonight is the last thing I want, but if Ellie needs me…” she said softly, one hand running down the front of my shirt to fist in it.

  I continued my trail of kisses and moved aside a small tendril of hair so I could kiss the curve where her shoulder met her neck. “Mmmm… I know. It’s okay,” I murmured against her skin.

  “Is it?” She pressed her body closer and slid the fingers of both hands into the hair at my nape. I fucking loved it when she did that and Julia was well aware of her affect on me.

  “Not really, but I’ll live. I understand, sweetheart.”

  She turned her head and kissed my jaw, her sweet breath rushing hotly over my skin. She smelled of wine, perfume and Julia. Utterly delicious.

  “Kiss me, Ryan,” she whispered softly and my arms pulled her closer, sliding up over the bare skin exposed by the backless dress.

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.” I turned my mouth to hers and it opened hotly underneath mine, both of us pulling the other closer. The kiss was slow and hungry, probably more than we should have allowed in the crowded room, but it was dark and I hadn’t kissed her like this for several hours.

  “Mmmm,” she moaned again as I lifted my head and stroked her cheek with the back of my knuckles. “I want you.”

  “Do you, now?” I said softly as I nuzzled her cheek with my nose. I pressed the evidence of my desire into the softness of her stomach. “You drive me crazy with it. It never goes away, Julia,” I whispered against her skin as I dragged my mouth back toward hers.

  “Uhhhh, Ryan. Always.” We kissed again, a series of soft, open-mouth kisses that left me aching and hungry for more.

  “I could swear you have a room, dude! Why the fuck aren’t you using it?” Aaron’s jubilant face suddenly appeared a few inches away from my wife’s and mine, intruding on the intimacy. We both smiled as we abruptly broke apart. A beautiful blush flooded the apples of Julia’s cheeks and I still held her close to my body. Aaron’s arm was around Jenna’s waist and she was laughing out loud, her face flushed with happiness. She looked every bit the radiant bride. “I thought I was the horn dog around here, and it’s my wedding night!”

  “Hey!” Julia moved out of my arms to hug my brother and his new wife, wrapping one arm around each of them, careful not to pull Jenna’s very full veil from her head. She was beautiful, but very, very fluffy. So different from the glistening, simply elegant bridal gown that Julia had worn. My heart still skipped a beat whenever I thought about it. At times, I was even grateful for Mike Turner because of the breathtaking photos he’d taken of Julia and then of us together right after we were married. I loved looking at them and I enjoyed it immensely when I caught Julia doing so.

  “Yeah? So what in the hell are you still doing here, then?” I teased. “Don’t you have a plane to catch?”

  “Yes! That’s why we’re interrupting,” Jenna took Julia by the arm and started to pull her away.

  “All the women are coming up to help me change and I want you to join, too. Will you?” Her eyes were sparkling when Julia nodded in the affirmative.

  “Of course!” The two of them had become even closer since Julia’s accident and I was happy to see it. They’d been friends a long time, but now they were more like sisters. “I wouldn’t miss it!”

  “Where’s Ellie? She seemed upset earlier,” Aaron observed.

  “Yeah, she was,” Julia’s face fell slightly, before she tried to mask it; she wouldn’t want to take the sparkle off of Aaron and Jenna’s night. “She and Harris were dancing a minute ago. I’ll get her and meet you upstairs, okay?” Jenna nodded as Julia took my hand and glanced at my face, an intimate smile meant only for me lifted the corners of her full lips. “I’ll see you a little later, handsome.” The fingers of her right hand reached up to brush along the now slightly scruffy line of my jaw and my own hand closed around them so I could kiss the tips.

  “I’ll miss you,” I said softly and bent to kiss her mouth softly. “Love you.”

  When Julia left us to go find Ellie, I turned to find Jenna and Aaron watching me intently. Jen’s expression was deadpan and Aaron was shaking his head.

  “What?” I knew what he was thinking, but I pasted an incredulous expression on my face.

  “What? Are you fucking kidding me?” Aaron shot back. “She’s not going to the moon, dude. You’re pathetic.”

  I chuckled in response, the rush of love I felt for my beautiful wife must have been very evident in our exchange. “We’re still newlyweds, too, so shut it!” I retorted with a grin and pulled Jenna into a hug and twirled her around. “You’re looking very stunning, sister. Good thing I’m already married or I’d have to steal you away.”

  Jenna’s laughter tinkled through the air and Aaron joined in with her. “As if!” she giggled. I sensed she was slightly tipsy and was still holding a half full glass of champagne. She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my mouth. “We’re so glad you’re here, Ryan. We miss the shit out of you.”

  “Yeah, even though it is nice to have the apartment to ourselves,” my brother nudged me and smiled before turning to Jen. “Babe, get your sexy ass changed so we can get the hell out of dodge.” She nodded and left us to go up to her room. Anna and my mother were waiting at the door to the ballroom to go with her, and Mom wrapped a hand around Jenna’s waist to lead her from the room.

  “You’re still the consummate romantic, Aaron,” I teased. “Shit, where did I go wrong?”

  “Not all of us can be sappy asses like you, Ryan.”r />
  “Whatever. Have you talked to Dad about Christmas yet?”

  “Yes. He knows that we may not be able to make it since we’re taking time now to go to Hawaii. When are you taking Julia on a honeymoon?”

  We were sitting at a table and I glanced around the room. Harris was speaking to my dad and he looked somber. He nodded his head in agreement to something Dad said and shook both of their hands.

  “Uh…I think I’ll try to surprise her with a trip soon.” I longed to tell my brother that Julia and I had agreed to start a family and so I needed to get her away before she got pregnant, or maybe on a quest to get her that way, but couldn’t since we’d agreed to keep it between the two of us. “I could really use some uninterrupted time with her. Don’t get me wrong, this weekend has been wonderful, but we don’t have enough time to just focus on each other these days.”

  “You deserve to get away, but will you be able to? It was almost impossible for me to get away and it was for my honeymoon. The hours are just ridiculous.”

  “We knew they would be,” I agreed, “but it sucks more than I anticipated. It’s worse than med school. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it, but I’ll try like hell. I’d sacrifice Christmas in Chicago for one-on-one time with Julia.”

  “Mom will be disappointed if neither of us can get there,” he stated the obvious.

  I shrugged slightly. “She’d understand. She knows we’re both working like dogs. She lived through it with Dad.”

  I was watching Harris come toward us and both Aaron and I stood. Aaron threw his big arms around the smaller man in a light embrace. “Glad you could make it, dude. I hear you’re heading to Canada tomorrow.”

  “Yes. Congratulations, Aaron. Jenna looks stunning. I have an early flight so I’m going to turn in, if you don’t mind. Have a wonderful honeymoon.”

  “Thank you. We will,” Aaron said goodbye to Harris and then turned back to me. “I should go change and say goodbye to the parents. We’ll see you again as soon as we can get time off, but it might be a while.”

  After filling Aaron in on the conversation I’d had with Harris earlier in the evening, I said goodbye to him and wandered up to the room to wait for Julia, or not wait for her, whichever the case may be. If Ellie was still upset, there was a good chance I wouldn’t see her before I fell asleep. Seeing everyone had been wonderful, but the late nights partying weren’t helping my exhaustion. Julia was sad because her best girlfriend was in such emotional turmoil, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t reappear.

  I loosened my tie as I entered the room and threw it on the suitcase along with the jacket of the tux. The room smelled like Julia’s perfume and I inhaled the familiar scent, saddened slightly that tomorrow we were going back to the New York rat race.

  Julia had a trip to Europe coming up in two weeks, the second in three months. She was usually only gone a week to ten days, but combined with my work schedule that racked up our time together right before and after, it would be more like fifteen days without each other. I ran my hand through my hair, then unbuttoned my shirt, pulling it from the waist of my pants at the same time. Julia’s make-up and hair brushes were scattered all over the vanity in the bathroom—the mess left in her hurry to get ready. She did look amazing and I told myself once more how lucky I was.

  My phone was on the table in the entryway where I’d left it with my keys and I heard it vibrate from the other room.

  “Hey, babe,” I answered on the third ring.

  “Hi. Where are you?”

  “I just got back to the room. Are Jenna and Aaron gone? I wasn’t there to see them off, but Aaron isn’t big on pomp and circumstance and I’m wiped.”

  “Mmm huh, they left a few minutes ago.”

  “Are you still with Ellie?”

  “Yes. Although I think I’ve talked her into speaking with Harris, or at least letting him back in their room tonight. She just called him.”

  “It sounds like a fucked up mess to me. I talked to Harris but I’ll tell you about it tomorrow on the plane.”

  “I’ll try to get back before too long. Don’t wait up, honey. Get some sleep.”

  “Will you wake me up when you get here?” I asked softly, not able to bear the loss of any time in her arms.

  She sighed into the phone. “Ryan, you need sleep so badly. Tomorrow night you have to work and I want you to be rested.”

  “I can sleep when I’m dead and the flight isn’t until two in the afternoon so we can sleep in a little. Even if it’s just to talk to you or hold you, I want you to wake me up. Please don’t argue. Fighting is the last thing on my mind tonight,” I murmured and I could picture the soft smile lifting the sides of her luscious mouth. “I want to kiss you goodnight.”

  “Okay.” She sighed softly.

  “Promise?”

  “Yes. I promise. Love you.”

  “Okay, babes. Love you.”

  Julia~

  Ellie was in the bathroom. I glanced at my watch, wondering when Harris would come up to the room. My friend was a disaster. There was no other way to put it. She’d worked hard to keep the problems to herself and not let Jen or Aaron in on the drama during this weekend, but Jenna could sense it as easily as I could. Both she and Harris had put on good game faces and got through it, but they were struggling and my heart was breaking for them.

  Ellie was taking a bath in an attempt to calm down and I dug some Advil out of my purse and put it on the bedside table with a glass of water. I also had Tylenol PM, but since she’d had wine tonight, I decided the other would be best.

  “Julia?” she called from the other room.

  I stood up from the edge of the bed and went to the door. “Yes, Ellie? Do you need anything?”

  “Thank you for being with me so much tonight. I get that Ryan is unhappy that you’re with me instead of him.”

  I put a hand on the door. “He’s okay. He understands and he loves you, too. He wants me to take care of you. You’ve done so much for us, so don’t worry.”

  The sound clicking as the keycard was inserted on the other side of the door alerted me to Harris’s arrival. “Harris is here, Ellie. I think I should go now, okay? Give you guys some privacy?”

  “Okay, Julia. Thank you. Will I see you tomorrow?” Her voice held prevalent evidence from her tears, her nose clearly stuffed up.

  “We don’t leave until the early afternoon, so sure. Just call me when you get up.”

  “Okay.” I heard the water slosh as she got out of the tub. I turned to see a weary Harris enter the room. My arms opened and his folded around me automatically. He buried his face in my neck.

  “I’m so sorry for the both of you, sweetie,” I said softly and stroked the back of his head. “I hate to see you suffering like this, but don’t give up.”

  He nodded against me and then moved out of my arms to pour himself a drink from the refrigerator that was hidden in the armoire below the television. They didn’t have a suite like Ryan and I did, but the room was still very nice.

  “Thanks, Jules. You and Ryan are good friends.”

  “Ellie told me you’re going to Canada early. What time is your flight?”

  “Six AM,” he said sadly. “Did she tell you that she thinks I fucked a groupie? Because, I didn’t.”

  I sighed, my heart tightening in my chest. “I know you didn’t. She said she saw…”

  “Yes. I’m sure it looked bad, but I didn’t start it, and I didn’t encourage it. In this life that shit happens. There are always women around but I don’t ask them to be there. Some don’t even give a damn what band they follow around or even know who we are. There are some that think it’s a status thing to screw a rocker. And, I won’t lie. There are guys in my band that take full advantage of it, but not me.”

  I walked up to him and rubbed his back lightly. “I’ve told her the same thing, Harris. It’s very hard for Ellie to be away from you so much.”

  “But she won’t come with me. Believe me, I’ve asked.”


  I nodded. “I know. She told me, but to her it appears you think her job is disposable but it means a lot to her. She works hard. I wish I had a solution for you.”

  “How do you and Ryan…” he began, but the bathroom door opened and Ellie emerged in a fluffy pink robe with her hair wrapped in a towel. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked stiff.

  “Hey,” he greeted her.

  “Hey,” she said in return, hanging in the doorway without really moving toward him.

  I got up and gave her a hug. “Okay, I gotta go. I love you.”

  Ellie nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

  “Have faith and listen to his words,” I whispered into her ear. “He loves you, Ellie. Believe that.”

  Her arms tightened around me as she nodded without saying a word.

  I turned and put my arms around Harris. “Thanks, Julia.”

  “I’m waiting patiently for a signed CD as soon as you get it off the presses.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence behind me as I left the room and I realized how tightly I was wound. The muscles in the back of my neck burned and my heart was sick for the both of them. How in the hell does something like this happen to two people who love each other so much?

  It was almost ninety minutes since I’d spoken to my husband and I was hoping he was asleep. I worried about him so much. The residency was so demanding. He didn’t get enough rest, didn’t eat right and worked himself silly. It was his habit to worry more about me than himself.

  I pulled the keycard out of my purse and inserted it in the door, carefully turning the handle so as not to make too much noise and then held it as it closed to keep it from slamming. He’d left a light in the sitting room on for me, but the light was off in the bedroom. The darkness was visible through the crack in the door and I could hear his even breathing. It was a comforting sound and the love I always felt filled my heart to the point of bursting. I couldn’t wait to slide in between the sheets next to Ryan and be wrapped in the strong arms that would unconsciously come around me, even in deep sleep. I went and turned off the light and immediately; the entire suite was shrouded in darkness. I let my eyes adjust for a moment so I wouldn’t knock into anything and make noise that would wake my husband.