Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition

by Kahlen Aymes

  I looked at her and felt my heart expand painfully. Incredibly, my love for my amazing wife grew yet again. She was amazing. “I thought we decided we’re indestructible.”

  “Yes, but we don’t need to antagonize each other, right?” Julia smiled softly and leaned toward me for a soft kiss. “We’re going to be poor, so it’s a good thing we can live on love… and sex.” Julia smirked at me and waggled her sculpted eyebrows.

  I laughed out loud. “We’ll manage somehow.”

  “Should we go back to Boston? Being there with you after the accident meant so much to me. I bet Mass General would love to get you back.”

  I watched her closely as the enormity of her words sank in. “Wow. Really?” I missed Boston.

  She lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Yes.” I fell into the soft green orbs of her eyes as the softly spoken word left her mouth.

  “I want to have the baby with Aaron and Jenna close by anyway.”

  “That’s a very sweet thought.”

  Her eyes connected and stayed on mine. “Ryan…” Julia reached out and threaded her fingers to mine; lifting my hand, she bent to brush her lips across the top of it. “I’d like you to deliver the baby; just you and me. We’re so close, and this is such an intimate thing, I don’t want to share it with anyone else. Do you think that would be okay?”

  My throat started to close before she was finished speaking, and my eyes burned with emotion. I was overwhelmed. “I think… that would be… unbelievably… perfect. If there are no complications, and I feel it’s safe, I would really love that, babe.” An incredulous laugh burst out. “How did I ever get so lucky? You’re so fucking amazing.”

  Happiness filled her beautiful green eyes, and the music of her laughter filled my soul with joy. “Takes one to know one, Matthews.”

  Happiness and contentment settled over me like a thick, fluffy blanket. I flashed my wife a brilliant smile and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. I guess it does.”

  Epilogue

  RYAN~

  I drew my hand down over the swollen curve of Julia’s pregnant belly, spreading my fingers wide to hold as much of it as I could in my hand; always waiting for the miracle of a flutter or kick. We sat in the freshly finished nursery, snuggled up together in the plush chaise lounge. Julia’s hand was wrapped around my bicep, and her forehead rested against it, her back against my chest as she sat between my legs. I leaned in to press my lips to the top of her head. She was so beautiful to me as her body changed before my eyes. She sighed with satisfaction, and I had no desire to move, just enjoying Julia’s scent and the feeling of holding her close. My lips remained against her skin.

  After two months of hunting around different parts of the city, we found a modest home in an older neighborhood. Julia liked the architecture and character much more than newer, more modern, cookie-cutter types; the landscaping was more detailed and the trees taller and more luxurious. Being an artist, she obviously translated individuality into beauty. She loved the hardwood floors and deep woodwork, arched entryways, and the quaint little touches. It was the window seat in this room that had sold us the house. It was the perfect place for our family to grow.

  Of course, it wasn’t so perfect when we bought it and it needed quite a bit of work, but the price was right. The budget was tighter than tight, but somehow, we made it work. Julia did a lot of the painting, but we hired a contractor for the rework of the kitchen and bathroom. I helped as much as possible when I was home, but she seemed to enjoy putting her stamp on it. We saved decorating the nursery until after the first ultrasound and didn’t begin until the first of May. I didn’t really want to know the sex of the baby, but Julia argued that we could get to know the baby and also personalize the space. And, she glowed like a light bulb the entire time we worked on it. My mom sent a fifteen hundred dollar gift certificate from Babies “R” Us to make sure we had everything we needed. The kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

  I glanced around the now perfectly appointed room. Ellie and both of our mothers had flown in for the baby shower Jenna had thrown last month, and now, the room was a baby paradise. Instead of the typical light blue, the room was done in eggshell with touches of dark teals and browns. Julia had a specific name for each one of the colors, but I didn’t bog my brain down with that crap. It looked good;—not all frou-frou—and that’s what mattered to me.

  Julia’s mom handmade a quilt in the same color scheme; you could visibly see all the love she poured into it. Ellie and my mom sent packages almost weekly with baby clothes and stuffed animals. My father commissioned a wood carver in Chicago to create the mobile hanging over the crib; and the hand carved toy trucks, sailboats, and teddy bears exactly matched the images on Marin’s quilt. The music box at the center of it played row Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

  There was a dresser full of diapers, blankets, onesies, and footed pajamas, a bookshelf already filled with children’s classics, a chaise and rocking chair, and a dark mahogany crib and changing table. It looked like an ad out of Vogue Baby. I huffed out a small laugh. I wasn’t sure why I expected anything less.

  We’d moved to Boston as soon as we could break our lease in New York. Meredith called ten times, begging Julia to reconsider leaving Condé Nast, and I was proud of her steadfastness that initiated the move. I was extremely proud when I listened to her on the phone, only two days after we’d returned to New York, telling her ex-boss that she wouldn’t choose her job over her family ever again. It turned out Meredith was the one who caved and made an offer for Julia to work on the magazine, freelance, from Boston. We moved her art table and bought an old desk at a flea market, and both now sat in her new office in the other spare bedroom. It was all coming together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

  My place in the residency program at Mass General was secured before we’d packed one box. I was happy as hell to be back in familiar surroundings, working closely with some of my friends, and mostly, to have Aaron and Jenna near. It was like stepping back into the most comfortable pair of jeans I ever had.

  Aaron was focusing on internal medicine, so he wasn’t working in the ER with me, but I still had Jenna. The hours were grueling, and I was still away from Julia more than either of us liked, but the two women spent a lot of time together. Somehow, it made my time away easier. I felt safer, more at ease.

  Now all that was left to do was have the baby. I’d never forget how I felt when I looked at the ultrasound screen, holding Julia’s hand. She looked up at me with expectant eyes, waiting for me to tell her if our baby was a boy or a girl. My heart almost flew out of my chest as the nurse rolled the instrument around in the goo on Julia’s rounded stomach. When that little profile showed up on the screen, my eyes blurred, and I squeezed her hand so hard she had to tell me to loosen my grip. A few more turns and we made sure the baby was healthy, and the sex became clear. I puffed up like a peacock, bending down to kiss my wife happily.

  “Ryan? Well, what?” She’d been so anxious, pulling at my shirt with her free hand. “Ryan!”

  “It’s a boy.” Her face lit up, and she cried, all at the same time. I grinned so hard, my face hurt. I smiled softly now, remembering.

  Julia sat back with a satisfied expression. “I told you.”

  The baby was measured to make sure he was developing on schedule, and he was perfect.

  When we left the appointment, I hoisted her up on my back for a piggyback ride to the car.

  The fingers of Julia’s other hand traced delicate lines in the hair on my forearm that held her close. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Well…” I murmured softly, enjoying the feeling of having her enfolded against me. “I’m thinking that the baby is due in a week, and we still have to choose his name.”

  Her arms rested over mine and tightened, bringing mine closer around her. “I know. Jenna said we should combine our names. She suggested Julian.”

  My face screwed up in protest. “Uh… no. My son isn’t going to have a pussy name like tha
t!” I insisted.

  Julia giggled happily. “I told her you’d say that.”

  I huffed, grinning. “No shit.”

  “Zane?” she asked softly.

  I didn’t hesitate. “What? So he can get his ass teased off. ‘Hey! Insane Zane!’ No, thanks.”

  “Elliott?”

  “No.”

  “Jason? Or Jace for short?”

  I grimaced again. I liked Jace, but Jason, no way in hell. “Jason reminds me of that ass-wipe who followed you around like a dog junior year.”

  Julia snorted softly and looked up at me, her expression amused. “Jason Milner?” she asked incredulously.

  I shook my head and screwed up my face. “See? Why’d ya have to go and remember that dickhead’s name?”

  She laughed out loud. “Why don’t you come up with something since you hate all of my ideas? We could name him after your dad.”

  I lifted a shoulder. “Eh… I thought of that. But won’t your dad be pissed?”

  “I don’t like my dad’s name that much, but don’t tell him I said that.”

  “This is a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

  “What about Aaron or Ryan? Or your middle name?”

  I let that sit for a minute, contemplating the options. I was certain it would mean a lot to Aaron if I named my son after him, and at the same time, I’d be proud as hell if my little boy had my name.

  “Aaron Mitchell or Ryan Aaron?” Julia asked, still stroking her fingers up and down my arm.

  “I don’t know. Ryan Aaron feels goofy.”

  “That’s because you’re used to Ryan Mitchell. So, what about a derivative name? One we make out of Ryan and Aaron?”

  “You mean like Ry-ron?” I thought it sounded completely ludicrous and the tone in my voice said so. “You want me to name my son Ry-ron? That’s… Uh, when hell freezes over.”

  Julia burst out laughing. “No, not like Ry-ron. Oh, my God, Ryan! It doesn’t have to be so literal!”

  I couldn’t help the deep chuckle that rumbled through my chest. “Then, what? Ay-on?”

  She reached around and punched me playfully in the arm, still laughing. “No! What about Aiden, only we spell it with an A N at the end or Y after A? Like A I D A N, A Y D A N or A Y D E N? That way, he’ll have some letters from each of your names? I like that a lot.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “Which one do you like the most?”

  I mulled it over, trying to think of any stupid nicknames that could be made out of it and then whether it was dignified enough for him as a man. It had to fit him all his life. “I think A I D A N is nice.”

  She nodded. “Okay, then Aidan it is.”

  “Aidan Aaron?” I asked.

  Julia shrugged against me. “That could work. But, see, I have this mad crush on the baby’s daddy, so I’d really love to see my son carry some part of your name in a real way, Ryan. So, Aidan Mitchell is my favorite.”

  My mouth lifted in a slow smile, and love for the woman in my arms once again lurched in my chest. I pulled her closer, kissing the side of her face. “I love you, you know.”

  Julia turned in my arms, and I moved to let her adjust. She turned sideways and draped both legs over the top of my left thigh. She settled against my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her nose brushed against my jaw, and then she kissed along its line. Her lips were warm and coaxing.

  “Yes, I know,” she whispered against my jaw. My body reacted automatically. “Ryan…”

  I knew she wanted to make love. Our mothers were coming, and this would be the last day we had to ourselves. “Baby…”

  I’d long since convinced her that I found her pregnant body as arousing as ever, but we were getting so close to the due date, and though my body was aching with want, I thought we should hold off.

  “What? You know it won’t hurt the baby.” Her hand trailed down my chest and pushed up under the edge of my T-shirt to slide along the top of my jeans and over the bulge underneath the denim. Her fingers closed around my length, and I closed my eyes as she moved her hand up and down, pressing her fingers in small circles when she got to the head. “You want me,” she whispered against my mouth. I wanted to let loose on her, but I just couldn’t.

  I let out a small groan, willing my hips to keep from thrusting against her hands. “I do, but babe… the baby’s turned, and there’s something so wrong about jabbing my cock in close to his little head. Especially, now that he has a name,” I lamented regretfully. Shit, was it ever regretfully.

  Instantly, Julia’s hand stopped, and she pulled back to raise an eyebrow at me. “Are you serious?”

  I inhaled deeply. “Unfortunately, yes.” My mouth twisted in a wry smile. “I just can’t poke at my son like this.”

  “Ryan, you’re a doctor. You know it won’t hurt him.”

  I moved my head in a small circle that was neither positive nor negative. “Mmmm, my head knows, but I still worry. These are my babies right here,” I pointed between her heart and her tummy, “not just random patients.” I reached up to cup her face, my thumb brushing her cheekbone. “We’re getting so close. Let’s not take any unnecessary risks.”

  I kissed her lips softly, my mouth savoring hers. It was mean, but something devious drove me on. I knew that kiss was more arousing, but I couldn’t help it. I lifted her so she was straddling my lap. Despite her pregnancy, she was still small, and I lifted her easily, pulling her closer. Her body was much the same as before; her back and hips still slim, except for the baby bump in front, perfectly round, and her breasts being slightly larger and heavier.

  “We can still play,” I said softly, kissing the underside of her jaw and leaving a fiery trail down the column of her neck.

  “This big belly gets in the way.” I could hear the pout in her voice, and my mouth twitched in amusement. She really wanted me.

  “Wanna bet?” I pushed her dress up over her thighs, sliding my hands around behind her to press her closer, groin against groin. Julia ground against me and wound her hands through my hair. I could feel her heat through her panties and my jeans, but I wanted to get even closer. I scooted forward on the chaise, lifting her with me, until I was able to plant my feet on the floor. I picked her up and carried her with me into the master bedroom.

  As soon as I laid down flat on our bed, Julia’s hands deftly opened the front of my jeans and pulled my boxers down. My full erection bobbed free. She licked her hand and then brought it around me, pulling and pushing, rubbing her thumb around the head with each stroke. It didn’t take long until I was so turned on that a drop of clear liquid pearled on the tip.

  “Uhhh…” My head fell back against the pillows, and I closed my eyes. Julia eased off me until she was on her knees between my spread legs. I lay there, helpless as she took me deep into her mouth. I wound my hands in her hair as she sucked hard, wrapping both hands around the shaft. She drove me crazy, teasing the head with her tongue, and then sliding her lips down and sucking on the way back out. It felt so good, and watching her was so sexy; it didn’t take me long to come. I felt guilty coming in the mouth of my pregnant wife, but she got me so hot so fast, I lost control of what was happening.

  Her eyes were smug and teasing as she crawled up on top of me. “Gotcha,” she said, laying down and curling into me, yawning. My pants still hung open, my boxers pushed down and leaving me exposed. I reached down to pull them back in place.

  My brow furrowed in confusion. I thought she’d still want to make love.

  “Jules?”

  “Hmmm?” She snuggled closer, hooking a leg over mine, and her belly resting against and on me.

  “Don’t you want me to take care of you? We don’t have to be done.”

  “Let’s take a nap.”

  I kicked at the throw at the foot of the bed until I could hoist it up with my toes and grab it with my free hand to pull it over her. When I was satisfied she was covered, I pulled her further into my embrace. She was al
ready asleep.

  Aaron was picking up our mothers at the airport later, and they’d be with us for dinner. Julia’s rule of no clocks in the bedroom had me wondering how much time we had until they arrived, but it really didn’t matter. Julia had a quick dinner planned, and the evening would be casual. No doubt the moms would pitch in.

  I was torn between watching her sleep and holding her close, but in the end, I realized I was tired, too. Soon we’d be parents, and sleep would become scarce. I planted a lingering kiss on Julia’s forehead. She sighed my name, and my eyes closed.

  “Julia, darling, do you need help?” my mother asked. Julia was chopping up various fresh vegetables and placing them in bowls next to one with hamburger and another with sliced chicken.

  She looked up and smiled. “I’m good, Elyse.”

  “Ryan, you shouldn’t allow her to work like this.”

  I sat on a stool next to my wife, unable to help myself, and ran a hand down the back of her head to tangle in the long hair at her nape. “You know she does what she wants.”

  Julia took a big chef’s knife to three carrots she had lined up on the wooden chopping block. “Believe me, he spoils me.”

  Aaron was in the living room, and Jenna was setting the table in the dining room.

  “What are you making, honey?” Marin asked.

  “Well, it’s sort of an ‘assemble your own meal’ thing. You put butter and meat in the bottom of a piece of foil, you add whatever vegetables you want, and then the seasoning you want. I have a variety of sauces and spices for the rest of you, but Ryan’s boring. He likes just salt and pepper. You put everything you want in the foil and then fold it like a pocket. Throw it in the oven for an hour, and that’s it. It’s really easy. Dad used to make this when I was a kid and spent the summers in California. He’s not that great of a cook, but this always turned out. Sometimes we threw it on coals or a campfire.”