Marred

by Tess Thompson

  She flinched and stepped backward. Her eyes sharpened into points that pierced through him. “Listen to me, Kyle Hicks. Whatever it is that has you hell bent on self-destruction and self-punishment—well, you need to work that out.”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  She stepped closer and spoke right into his ear. “You’re wrong, my friend. I know you. You think it’s not like looking in a mirror? I know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. You may have the rest of our gang fooled, but I know you hate yourself. I don’t know why exactly, but I can bet it’s something from your childhood. It’s time to figure it out and let go of whatever’s haunting you or you’re headed for a very lonely life. Do you hear me?”

  “Stop. Just stop. You don’t get to talk to me this way.”

  “You can bet your designer shoes I do. May I remind you who got into an actual physical altercation on my behalf when Zane was acting like an ass? That’s right. I know about that. Brody told me about you two rolling around on the floor because you didn’t think he was respecting me. I have just as much right to get into your business as you did mine. You know why?” She tapped him on the chest with her index finger. “I’ll answer for you. Because we love each other and that’s what friends do.”

  From the couch, Kara let out a scream. Kyle turned to look at the screen. Brody was flat on his back. A team of doctors and coaches rushed out to the field. From the television, the announcers described the scene.

  “Brody Mullen on the ground here. A particularly brutal sack from defensive end Marty Shell.”

  “Yes, he seemed to come out of nowhere,” the other announcer said.

  “I can’t tell for sure, but it seems like it might be a neck injury.”

  The footage of the incident replayed on the television. Shell slammed into Brody and knocked him several feet in the air. Brody’s neck twisted as he hit the ground.

  No, not this. Get up. You can do it. Just get up.

  Cut back to present. Brody remained on the ground. Was he moving at all? Kyle held his breath. Come on, man, move your legs.

  Kara stood before the television, her hands covering her mouth. Honor crossed the room to stand by her side.

  They all waited.

  Finally, Brody rose to his feet. The crowd cheered. Here, they watched in silence as the doctors helped him onto a cart that would take him off the field and into the locker room.

  The announcers continued their commentary. “Brody Mullen on his feet there, but it looks like the doctors don’t want him back on the field.”

  “He walked,” Kara said. “He walked onto the cart. That’s something.”

  No one needed clarification. They all knew the dangers of Brody’s profession.

  “Should I go to him now?” Kara asked. “Or wait for the call?”

  Honor slipped her hand into Kara’s. “Let’s wait for the call. I’ll take you into the city if he wants you there.”

  A few minutes later, Kara’s cell phone rang. “It’s him.” She left the room as she answered. “Hi, babe.”

  No one said anything for a few seconds until Jackson said what they all feared. “That was a serious hit to his neck. I didn’t know if he was going to get up and walk onto the cart.”

  Violet pulled her knees up to her chest. “That scared me so badly.”

  “Longest thirty seconds ever.” Honor sank onto the couch. “Not gonna lie, I have a bad feeling about this.”

  “Didn’t that player up in Washington have to retire from his neck injury last season?” Zane asked. “What’s his name?”

  “The defensive back?” Kyle asked.

  “Gordon Thomas,” Honor said. “He decided to retire after permanent nerve damage to his neck. Docs said it was too risky to play.”

  “But he’s a quarterback,” Maggie said. “Isn’t it totally different?”

  “A neck is a neck,” Jackson said.

  Kara came back into the room. “He’s okay. He hasn’t lost feeling anywhere, thank God, but best case he’s probably out for the rest of the season.”

  “Best case?” Zane asked.

  Kara nodded, her face bleached of color. “He said they’re not sure the extent of the damage.”

  Honor swore under her breath. “Is he freaking out?”

  “Yeah. Pretty much,” Kara said. “I’m going to pack a few things and drive into the city to be with him.”

  “I’ll drive you,” Lance said.

  “Jackson, he wants you to come tomorrow when he meets with the experts,” Kara said.

  “The Dogs should all go,” Maggie said. “Just in case it’s bad news.”

  Kara burst into tears. “Would you? Could you?”

  If the news was bad for Brody it would be bad for all of them. Dogs stuck together. “Yes, we’ll be there by morning,” Kyle said.

  “Ladies too?” Kara asked.

  “Kyle, you go. I’ll stay with the kids,” Violet said. “Honor, Jubie can stay with me at the hotel.”

  “Flora would take the kids,” Lance said. “She’s dying to spend time with Mollie.”

  Kara reached out to Violet. “Please say you’ll come. I need all my girls with me.”

  Violet looked over at Kyle. “Is it okay with you?”

  “Yes, of course,” Kyle said. Truth be told, he wanted Violet with him. “Flora will take great care of them. Mel can have the night off.”

  They went into planning mode. Lance called Flora and she promptly agreed to take all three of the children. Kara had three guestrooms, enough for Lance, Kyle, and Violet at their condo in the city. The couples would stay in a nearby hotel. When it was all settled, Kara left to pack and the rest of them dispersed to either help clean up or head home to get ready for the morning.

  Fifteen minutes later, Kyle stood on Brody’s balcony waiting for Violet to be ready to leave Kara and Brody’s. She was huddled inside with the other women. Mist blanketed the yard. A breeze brought the scent of the ocean. Behind him, the doors off the kitchen opened and closed. It was Lance.

  “Kara’s not quite ready,” Lance said. “Thought I’d get a little air before we start out.” He came to stand beside Kyle. They both rested their forearms on the railing. “The days of our bachelor summer seem far away,” Lance said.

  “Yeah, sorry I haven’t been around much. The baby keeps me busy.”

  “No need to apologize. I get it. Well, I don’t totally get it, being childless and without any hope of ever finding a woman.”

  Kyle shook his head, chuckling. “Have you been trying to find a woman?”

  “Not really. Still reeling from New York.” Lance let out a deep breath. “Brody should go out now when he’s on top. Think about a coaching career or broadcasting.”

  “You really think so?” Kyle asked. He couldn’t imagine Brody was ready to retire at only thirty-one. But football was a young man’s game. No question about that.

  “I’m not saying he’ll do it, but I think he should. He can continue to make money through endorsements and such,” Lance said.

  “It’s not about the money,” Kyle said. “It’s about how he thinks about himself. His identity.”

  “You think?” Lance asked.

  “Do you miss your work?” Kyle asked, referring to Lance’s former career as a hedge fund manager.

  “Not really. My eye’s stopped twitching, so that’s good.”

  “Come on, man. A bookstore? You’re not going to be happy doing that.”

  “It’s also a soda fountain and coffee shop,” Lance said primly. “And I just own the building. Mary’s doing the rest.”

  “Seems like every time I text, you’re there.”

  “Mary’s worried about things, so I stop in to answer questions and give advice. She’s actually quite capable without my help, but she’s trained as a librarian not a business owner.”

  “Has Mary loosened up any or is she still super uptight?” Kyle asked. Uptight was a kind word for her.

  “She’s j
ust a quiet person. Cerebral,” Lance said. “Once you get past her reticence, she’s actually remarkably smart and interesting. But man, she’s a sad girl.”

  “Sad?”

  “Something happened to her. I don’t know what, but it was bad. I’ve caught her crying in the back room a couple times.”

  Mary crying? “I can’t stand to see a woman crying,” Kyle said. “It’s like I go on overload trying to fix whatever it is.”

  “I feel you. It’s taken a lot of restraint not to ask her a bunch of questions when she comes into the shop with red eyes and dark circles. I know something’s haunting her and yeah, I just want to fix it. I sense that deep down she’s not at all what we thought at first.”

  “People aren’t always what they first appear to be,” Kyle said.

  “Are you referring to Violet?”

  “Maybe.”

  Lance continued to look out to the yard. Men. No eye contact when speaking of serious matters. “Listen, I’m not one to tell another man his business, but I think you need to look at yourself pretty hard and figure out what in the hell’s the matter with you.”

  “Meaning?” Not Lance too? What was it about tonight?

  “It’s obvious that you and Violet are into each other and it’s beyond me why you would purposely screw it up. Aren’t you sick of prowling for women like you’re still in college?”

  “I haven’t been prowling much,” Kyle said.

  “That’s my point. Maybe it’s time to grow up and admit to yourself that you have feelings for an awesome woman. Someone you could build a life with.”

  “Has it ever occurred to you that she’s better off without me?” Kyle asked.

  “Sticking with that lame excuse. Okay. Good for you. Be an idiot. See if I care.”

  “Back off. Seriously,” Kyle said.

  “I’m sick of backing off when it comes to you. How could you have a brother and sister and never mention it to me?” Lance said. “I thought we were tight.”

  “We’re not women painting each other’s nails and talking about every single moment of our lives. There’s some stuff I don’t talk about.”

  “Let me give you a little advice. Take a look around you. You see how our buddies are happy? That could be you.”

  The door to the patio opened. Violet called out to them. “Kyle, we should probably go. It’s way past Dakota’s bedtime.”

  Kyle’s stomach fluttered at the sound of her voice. “I’m ready whenever you are.” If only. He brushed past Lance. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the city.”

  “Don’t think this conversation is over,” Lance said.

  “Dude.” Kyle glowered and turned back to shove him with his shoulder.

  They stared at each other for a moment, before Kyle turned away.

  Violet held the door open for him. He smelled her perfume as he shuffled by her.

  “What was that all about?” Violet asked.

  “Nothing. Just the usual. A Dog can’t seem to mind his own business.”

  When they arrived home, Mel was on the couch with her feet on the coffee table flipping through a magazine. “Hey guys,” she said.

  Kyle held a sleeping Dakota in his arms so he merely nodded hello. He carried him back to his bed in the closest and tucked him in between the blankets. Violet had remained behind to hand over Mollie to Mel. It was a little after ten, so the baby would need a bottle before she went down for the night. When he came out of Violet’s bedroom, he paused before going into the sitting area, listening. Violet spoke sharply to Mel.

  “It’s none of your business,” Violet said.

  “I was just asking. Don’t make a federal case out of it.”

  “The Mullens are very private people. Those of us in their inner circle know better than to gossip.”

  “It looked bad,” Mel said. “I wondered, that’s all.”

  “Don’t.”

  “You’re so bloody touchy,” Mel said. “You need to loosen up.”

  Bloody? Had she picked that word up on her travels? Pretentious Mel. What in her past was she hiding that she had to put on these layers of forced sophistication?

  He walked into the room. The minute she saw him, Mel’s face lit up and she slid him a sultry smile. “Wouldn’t you agree, Kyle, that Violet needs to lighten up.” She was feeding Mollie a bottle from the armchair. Every time he saw Mel with the baby it gave him an uneasy feeling. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about her looked odd with a baby in her arms.

  He would ignore her question and keep it all business. That was the best way to deal with people who had no sense of boundaries. “Mel, there’s an extra pair of pajamas in that diaper bag. Please dress her in them before you put her down.”

  “I’m going to bed,” Violet said to Kyle.

  He reminded her of his appointment in the morning and that he would swing by and get her after that.

  “I’ll be packed and ready.”

  “Great.”

  She said goodnight to them both and left for bed.

  The moment she was out of the room, Mel asked him where they were going.

  “We’re going on a trip out of town overnight. You can have the night off. We have a friend looking after the kids.”

  “Overnight? Together?”

  “That’s right.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You can have the night off tomorrow. The kids are going to Flora’s.”

  “What’s going on with you two anyway?” Mel asked.

  “Who?”

  “You and Violet.”

  “We’re close friends.” He walked over to the bar and poured himself a scotch. Most nights he went straight to bed when she arrived. Tonight, an instinct prickled the back of his neck. He wanted to watch her with the baby for a few minutes.

  “So, you’re available?” Mel grinned. “Asking for a friend.”

  What a strange girl she was.

  “Depends on what you mean by that. I’m technically available, but I’m not looking for anyone. Mollie’s my priority right now.”

  “My friend would find that sexy.”

  “You’re barking up the wrong tree here,” he said. “Trust me.”

  “I’ll be sure to tell my friend.” She went back to looking at Mollie.

  “Do that.” He drank his scotch and watched her. She was dangerous. Manipulative and conniving, the type to seduce a guy and sue him for sexual harassment. Was that what was going on here? Did she want to trap him and extort money out of him in exchange for her silence?

  “I noticed you love country music. Do you ever go to concerts?” she asked.

  “Sometimes. When I have time.”

  “Listening to live music is one of my favorite pastimes.”

  “Me too,” he said absently. Time to get out of here.

  “I’m going to a festival during the Thanksgiving weekend. The one at the stadium in San Francisco. You heard of it?”

  “Sure. I thought about getting tickets before Mollie arrived. Things are different now, obviously.” He finished his drink and turned away to put it in the sink at the wet bar.

  “Does it make you sad?” she asked. “Not to have a life outside of the baby?”

  He shrugged. “Sad is the wrong word. She’s my life now, so everything’s different.”

  “You need a woman by your side, Kyle Hicks.” She smiled that cat smile that sent a shiver down his spine.

  “Conventional wisdom would agree, but I think for myself.”

  He wanted to give Mollie a kiss goodnight but given that she was currently in Mel’s arms, he decided to skip it tonight. “Goodnight, Mel.”

  “Night, Kyle. Sweet dreams.”

  He woke after seven the next morning. How had he slept so late? Mollie usually woke him by six. Alarmed, he rubbed his eyes and looked over to the baby monitor. The crib was empty. Violet must have gotten her. She’d let him sleep in.

  He pulled on sweats and a t-shirt and padded out to the sitting area. Violet was with Mollie near the bank o
f windows. A weak autumn sun filtered through the glass and basked the room in a hazy light. Country music played softly from the speakers. Wearing nothing but a long t-shirt that hung to her midthigh, she cradled Mollie in the crook of one arm and danced in the muted light. He watched, mesmerized. She moved with graceful steps between the rays of sun. Her hair fell over her face as she gazed down at the baby. But it could not disguise her smile. The same smile she had for Dakota. A mother’s smile for her child.

  She loved Mollie.

  And what about you, fool? Who do you love?

  He loved the woman who loved his daughter. The truth almost brought him to his knees. He would do anything for the woman and the baby in her arms. His own life meant nothing if they were not safe and happy.

  Dakota appeared, holding his blanket and dressed in his Spider-Man pajamas. With tousled hair and cheeks pink from sleep, he ran to Kyle and wrapped his arms around his legs. An ache pressed against his chest. He loved Violet’s son. Was it natural to love someone else’s flesh and blood like they were your own? He didn’t know. All he knew was that everything he would ever need was in this room.

  A kernel of truth exploded inside his mind. Honor and Lance were right. He had to face his demons, his self-hatred, and come clean. If he were to have any chance with the woman who danced in the rays of light, he had to tell her everything. The Miller brothers. The accident. Daniel Kyle Hickman.

  “Good morning, boys,” Violet said.

  “What’s up with the country music?” Kyle asked.

  “It’s growing on me.”

  “I’m hungry for bacon,” Dakota said.

  “Agreed,” Kyle said. “And pancakes.”

  “Don’t you want your usual omelet?” Violet asked.

  “Kale eats half my pancakes and bacon,” Dakota said.

  “He does?”

  “Guilty,” Kyle said.

  “Every morning?” she asked.

  “When you see a good thing, you stick with it,” he said.

  Like you. Everything he would ever need was right here in this room. But did they need him? Could Violet ever love him if she knew the truth?

  Chapter Eight