Marred

by Tess Thompson

  “If I say yes, will you wait to bring her in again until her third month checkup?” Jackson asked.

  “I’m waiting.” Kyle tapped his fingers on the table and drew his eyebrows together.

  “Mollie Blue Hicks is cuter and more alert than any baby I’ve ever seen,” Jackson said.

  “Was that so hard?” Kyle grinned as he shuffled the cards with a loud flourish.

  “It was, actually. I took an oath,” Jackson said.

  Kyle dealt a round of cards and bets were placed. They played and talked simultaneously.

  “Violet’s parents came into the restaurant today,” Zane said.

  “They’re back?” Kyle asked.

  Zane nodded. “They’ve been back for weeks.”

  “Violet hasn’t heard from them,” Kyle said.

  “That right?” Zane asked.

  “Her old man’s a jerk.” Kyle folded. Terrible hand. “She and Dakota deserve so much better than the way he’s treated her.” He looked up to see Brody watching him from across the table.

  “You and Violet are getting along better, huh?” Brody asked.

  “She’s phenomenal with Mollie.” He smiled. “She has us all on a schedule.”

  Lance, sitting next to him, nudged him with his elbow. “The Doggiest of the Dogs on a schedule? That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “Whatever. It’s good. She makes sure I have time for my workout in the morning. When I get back, she always has my breakfast waiting. Coffee and an egg white omelet with avocado. She thinks avocados are good for you. I eat them, plus half of Dakota’s bacon and pancakes when she’s not looking.”

  They all stared at him like he was a strange animal at the zoo.

  “Something I can help you with?” Kyle asked.

  “Egg white? Avocados?” Lance asked. “Have you been invaded by an alien?”

  “You guys are hilarious,” Kyle said. He really needed to get them off this subject.

  “Violet sounds like Kara,” Brody said. “Women do that kind of stuff when they love us.”

  “Dude, she’s my nanny.” How did these guys always see right through him? It was beyond annoying.

  “Wait a minute,” Lance said. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “She’s my nanny.” Maybe if he repeated it enough he would convince them all, especially himself.

  “I can’t believe it. Honor was right,” Zane said. “She totally called this.”

  “She did not,” Kyle said.

  “She did. Claims all that tension between you two is more than just an argument over politics.”

  “Fine. She’s gorgeous. I’m into her. Are you happy?” Kyle handed the stack of cards to Lance for the next round. “Your deal.”

  “How into her?” Brody asked.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Kyle said. “The last thing she needs is me. She deserves someone phenomenal. Like one of you guys.”

  “You are a well-established ass,” Zane said, tossing a beer cap at him.

  “My point exactly,” Kyle said.

  Jackson was looking at him with a contemplative tilt to his head. That was Jackson. Always thinking—the romantic, the philosopher of the group. Since Maggie had returned to him, the sadness in his blue eyes had changed to peaceful contentment. “How come you never talk about your childhood?” Jackson asked.

  “What does that have to do with Violet?” Kyle asked.

  “If you don’t know, then you should be asking yourself why,” Zane said.

  “It’s true, though,” Lance said. “We know next to nothing about your past.”

  Kyle took a swig of his beer. “Nothing to tell. Normal stuff.”

  “You don’t come to USC on a full ride as an emancipated adult if you had a normal childhood,” Lance said.

  Kyle pretended to study his cards. “I don’t talk about the past. No reason to.”

  “Would you believe that talking about your past might change your future?” Jackson asked.

  “God no,” Kyle said.

  “It did for me,” Zane said. “Strangely, confronting my mother and my ex-fiancée was what I needed to fully move on with Honor.”

  Kyle slapped a card on the table. These guys needed to back off. “Did it? Did it really help to go back and meet your mother only to be rejected by her a second time? Once was enough for me, thanks very much.”

  “I wouldn’t have thought so, but it did. In my case, I needed answers to be free.” Zane paused, peeling the label from his beer bottle. “Man, I know it hurts.”

  “It doesn’t hurt,” Kyle said. “I hate her, but I’m not hurt.”

  No one said anything. Minnie woke from her nap and stretched. With a yawn, she jumped from the counter and headed toward Brody.

  “My mother has nothing to do with anything. You guys know she left when I was young. My dad was a drunk. It was up to me to take care of my sister and brother after that.”

  Dead silence. Four pairs of eyes bored into him.

  “What the hell? You have a sister and brother?” Brody asked.

  “Dude, really?” Lance asked.

  “I haven’t seen them since I left home,” Kyle said. He could kick himself. Why had he let that out of his mouth?

  “Since you left for college?” Zane asked.

  “Yeah,” Kyle said.

  “Why?” Jackson asked.

  “Lots of reasons.”

  “Do you miss them?” Jackson asked.

  “It doesn’t matter if I miss them.” Kyle got up from the table and grabbed another beer from the refrigerator. When he sat back down, he kept his eyes on his beer bottle. “They’re better off without me.”

  “Did something happen between you guys?” Jackson asked.

  Kyle looked up at him. “No, I just left and didn’t want to go back. We weren’t close, that’s all. Nothing complex.” He stood, knocking several plastic tokens off the table. “I better get home. Violet might need me. I shouldn’t have left her alone with Mollie.”

  At the doorway, he looked back at their shocked faces. “Listen, can you not share this with the ladies? I don’t want anyone else to know. I don’t even know why I told you guys.”

  He didn’t stay long enough to hear if they agreed or not. He had to get out into fresh air or his chest might explode.

  When he was in his car, he sped out of Brody’s driveway and down the road toward town. He turned the music on loud and tried to shut off his thoughts. All these years he’d kept his past a secret. What had possessed him to admit to having a brother and sister? They would ask him more questions now. He knew they wouldn’t be able to let it go. What had he done?

  When he arrived home, he found Mel on the couch with the plans for his house unfolded on the coffee table. Mollie was asleep in her crib. Violet must have gone to bed.

  “Hey you,” she said. “Good night?”

  “Yeah. What’re you doing with the plans to my house?”

  “Just being nosy. I saw them on your desk and was too curious. It’s going to be amazing.”

  “If I can get it built, sure,” he said.

  “It’s a house for a full house. Get it, poker term. I know you went to play poker tonight.”

  “Did Violet tell you?”

  “No, she hardly talks to me. Very unfriendly. Women sometimes react that way to me. I’m used to it.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him like she was in a cartoon. There was definitely something wrong with this girl.

  “How did you know I went to play poker if Violet didn’t tell you?”

  “Your calendar was open on your laptop. Says “poker night” right in there. You guys play at Brody Mullen’s, right?”

  “You ever hear curiosity killed the cat?”

  She smiled. He could swear this girl turned into a cat the moment she left in the morning. Cats were nocturnal. Just right for night nanny positions.

  He went to the table and picked up his plans. “Have a good night. I’m going to bed.”

  “Night. Sweet dreams.” A voice
like a cat purr. Further evidence.

  When he got to his room, he stared at his phone. Would he wake Violet if he texted her? He really wanted to talk to her. One night without her and he was a mess. The night with the Dogs had been a disaster. They were probably totally bewildered and worried he was about to go off the deep end. They were used to fun Kyle, not dark Kyle. Not Pig.

  I need to talk to Violet.

  He took a chance and texted her.

  You up?

  A few seconds later, a response came through.

  Yes. I’m hiding from Mel.

  She had my house plans out on the coffee table and was staring at them with her cat eyes like she wanted to commit them to memory.

  She has ZERO boundaries.

  These young people are weird. He pulled his shirt over his head and went to the window. There was no fog. The lights of town shone brightly.

  She’s not that much younger than me. I think SHE’S weird.

  I have a theory. She’s a cat. Like for real. One of those shifter deals. Think about it.

  A second later, her response came in.

  I concur with your theory. Cats are nocturnal. Perfect for a night nanny. We don’t know what she does when she leaves here in the morning. Maybe prowls for mice. Spends some time at the sandbox in the park.

  He shook with silent laughter as he texted back.

  That’s exactly what I thought. And, ew, on the sandbox. Remind me never to let Dakota or Mollie play in one.

  I missed you tonight.

  That surprised him. He stared at the screen for a moment, gathering himself.

  I missed you too. I should have stayed home with you. I kind of made a mess of it with the Dogs.

  Why?

  I told them some things I shouldn’t have and then clammed up and stormed out.

  It’s hard to believe they don’t already know everything about you.

  We’re guys. We don’t talk about real stuff.

  Why is that?

  Just because we’re guys. I guess? How should I know? I’m a guy.

  A pretty awesome guy, if you ask me.

  He would text her all night if he could. She needed her rest, as did he. If only he could get some without tossing and turning and thinking about Violet. He texted back.

  You’re pretty awesome yourself. Anyway, I’ll see you in morning. We should get some rest.

  Night, Kyle.

  Night, Violet.

  He pushed his phone aside and sat on the edge of the bed. What was happening to him? This woman had him thinking and doing things he’d never done in his life. He missed her after only one evening apart. For heaven’s sake, he’d seen her mere hours ago. The whole thing was silly.

  Was this what falling in love felt like? This longing that ached in his chest and mimicked homesickness? A terrible spinning only alleviated by her presence? The leap of his heart when she walked into the room?

  He brushed his teeth and got into bed. When he closed his eyes, he saw Violet’s face, her brown eyes soft and her mouth turned slightly upward when he’d amused her but she didn’t want to admit to it. He heard her tender voice as she murmured sweet nothings to Mollie. There in the dark room, he could almost detect the scent of her skin when she’d leaned close to take the baby from him. He’d never even held her hand, let alone touched her silky skin, yet he knew what she would feel like tucked into the crook of his arm as they drifted off to sleep.

  Tomorrow would contain Violet. That’s all he needed to know right now. Tomorrow would be here soon enough. Whether he fell for her or not didn’t matter. He could not have her. After their year was up, he would go back to living the way he used to.

  He drifted off to sleep and dreamt they danced under a starry sky by the sea with ocean breezes that smelled of jasmine.

  Kyle drove Violet, Dakota, and Mollie out to Brody and Kara’s for the football game. San Francisco was playing Los Angeles. He couldn’t wait for this game.

  They gathered in the Mullens’ game room to watch. The Dogs, Honor, Maggie and Kara were there, along with six-year-old Jubie. They all wore their Mullen jerseys, including the kids. He wondered if they made jerseys for babies. Mollie needed one.

  Brody’s Sharks won the coin toss and the game began with a failed pass to a receiver. A close up of Brody’s face revealed his steely eyed game face.

  Kara and Honor huddled together on the couch, ready to hold on to each other if Brody got sacked, or scream when the Sharks scored. Lance and Zane sat on the floor with their backs against the couch and a bowl of chips between them. Dakota and Jubie played together in the back of the room with Legos. Jackson and Maggie sat together in the oversized chair, holding hands. Violet stretched out like a cat in front of the fire, looking relaxed. And beautiful. She’d grown even prettier since she’d moved in with him, having gained a few pounds, which she’d desperately needed. The pinched look around her mouth had softened. Her skin glowed.

  In his arms, Mollie arched her back and started in with her hungry cry. He knew it now like the back of his hand. Violet had been right. He could now decipher the various baby codes.

  Usually Kyle didn’t take his eyes from the game except to open another beer or fill his plate. Tonight, however, Mollie had other ideas for him. First, she had to have her bottle, half of which landed on his jersey during a burping session. Then she fussed until he picked her up and walked with her around the room patting her back until she let out a very unladylike toot. He missed both touchdowns in the first half, including an epic Brody Mullen fifty-yard pass. When Mollie finally fell asleep, he put her in her car seat. Turns out a baby could sleep anywhere in those things. He said a silent thank you to whomever had come up with the design, then grabbed a beer and plopped on the couch next to Honor. By that time, halftime had started.

  Kara turned down the volume. All eyes turned to him.

  “How’s it going with the baby?” Kara asked.

  “We’re doing great.” Kyle pointed at Violet. “Thanks to a certain person.”

  Violet ducked her head. Her hair fell over her cheek and glistened in the firelight. “Don’t listen to him. He’s taken to it like a champ.”

  “Never thought I’d see the day,” Zane said.

  “Me either,” Kyle said. Every time he thought of his conversation with Zane where he’d tried to talk him out of adopting Jubie, shame rushed through him. Never say never and all that. He’d basically told Zane his life was over if he adopted a child. How ironic that less than two months later he was walking a crying baby around the room instead of watching their buddy play football. Zane had the decency to keep that point to himself.

  His stomach growled. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate. Had Violet eaten? He’d told her on the way out to relax and not be on duty tonight, but her eyes kept skirting over to the baby.

  The women were distracted when Jubie and Dakota bounced over to ask if there was any dessert and could they have some. Kara smiled and rose from the couch. “I have a few frozen treats hidden in the freezer.” She held out her hands and they each took one. “Juice bars okay with the mothers?”

  “Fine with me,” Violet said.

  “Me too,” Honor said.

  Kara left with the kids. Honor moved to sit between Zane’s legs. They looked good together. Like sunshine. A pang of jealousy twisted in his gut. Would he ever be able to make something work with a woman? Not any woman, fool, Violet.

  Where had that voice come from?

  I’m not ready.

  So you say.

  Kyle poked Violet’s ankle with his foot. “Did you eat?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet.”

  “You want me to fix you a plate?” he asked.

  “I can do it,” she said.

  He got to his feet and offered his hand. “Come on. You can make sure I eat the kale salad.”

  “You’ll like it,” Violet said.

  “Sure I will,” he said.

  As they passed, he glanced down to see Hono
r staring at him with one eyebrow lifted.

  The third quarter was about to begin when Honor trapped him over by the bar. “You and Violet seem to have patched things up.”

  “We kind of had to.”

  “She’s working out, then?”

  “Better than working out. She’s awesome,” he said. “I’d be lost without her.”

  “Interesting.”

  “What does that mean?” Honestly, Honor was such a know-it-all sometimes.

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t get any ideas. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean everyone is.”

  “Who said anything about love?” Honor popped a raspberry in her mouth.

  “You did.”

  “No, I didn’t. But now that you bring it up, you two are seeming awfully domestic. Perfect little family unit.”

  He spoke with his teeth clenched. “Stop it. She’ll hear you.” He looked over to the other end of the room. Violet knelt on the carpet next to Maggie and Jackson’s chair. Just then, she threw her head back and laughed. “She’s my nanny and a damn good one. That’s all there is to it.”

  “She looks gorgeous,” Honor said. “Like a new person.”

  “Amazing what happens when the burden of money problems lessens.”

  “Preaching to the choir, brother.” Honor picked up a baby carrot and shook it at him. “You two are good for each other. Ever think of that?”

  “You really need to be quiet,” he whispered. “Seriously.”

  “Sometimes situations happen for a reason. That’s all I’m saying. It’s beyond obvious how you feel about her. What’s stopping you?”

  “I love you, Honor. I do. But I swear to God, let this go.”