Kyle was on the deck, looking out toward the sea.
She stood near the sofa in the family room and stared at his back. The dark November evening kept the view from being anything more than a black abyss. She wondered what he saw. What did he think about when he stared out to sea on a night like this?
The transitory nature of the hotel had made their living arrangement seem more natural, like they were on a trip away from reality. They were in a cocoon, an escape from real life. Tonight, they were in a house where a real family had lived. Ghosts of that happy family lingered. Children’s heights and ages were written on the inside of the pantry door, documented from the time they could stand to be measured. As if on cue, the ceiling creaked like a background melody in a movie, reminding her that a family belonged in a house like this.
The doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock. Nearing eight. Usually she would think—two hours until Mel arrived and broke up their night. But Kyle had called her earlier and asked if she would come by for a chat. She agreed, sounding defeated. “She knows it’s coming,” Violet said.
But as they sat down with her, she seemed her usual perky self. Wearing skin tight jeans, a plunging sweater, and thick makeup, she was like a poster child for women who take those sexy selfies and post them all over their social media accounts.
“What’s up?” she asked.
Kyle had agreed to take the lead. “So, Mollie’s pretty much sleeping through the night these days. As far as we can tell, she just wakes up at four now. We’re ready to take the helm.”
“You’re letting me go?” Incredulous and wide-eyed, she clasped her hands together on her lap. “Before the holidays?”
“We’ll pay you another three weeks. That should give you time to find another job,” Kyle said.
“Is this because of what happened?” Mel asked. “Our little moment?”
“It wasn’t a moment,” Kyle said.
Big crocodile tears spilled from her coal-lined eyes. “I’ll miss Mollie so much.”
“I’m sure Nora can find you another position,” Violet said.
Mel’s eyes fixed on Violet and for a split second she detected anger and hatred coming out of those cat eyes. Mel disguised it as quickly as it had come. “I’m sure she will.”
They walked her to the door. “Oh, jeez, I have to pee super bad. Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Mel asked.
Violet pointed to the kitchen. “It’s the door next to the built-in desk.”
They stood awkwardly waiting for her to return. After a few minutes, she did.
“It’s been real, guys. Thanks for everything.” She bounced out the door with a brief wave.
They stood against the door after she left. “Why do I feel like we just dodged a bullet?” Kyle asked.
“Because we did.”
“We’re free. The creep nanny has left the building.” He grabbed her into his arms and danced her into the kitchen. “Let’s celebrate.”
Kyle went into the family room to grab a wine opener and some glasses from the hutch. Her phone buzzed on the counter. It was her mother. Really? After all these weeks of silence? Why would she call now?
Her heart thudded hard in her chest as she answered. “Hi Mom.”
“Violet, how are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“We’re in town.”
“I know.”
A ripe silence greeted her from the other end of the phone before her mother finally spoke. “I’m sorry I haven’t called. Your father made me promise I wouldn’t, and you know how he is—constantly monitoring my every move. But he’s out tonight.”
“So, you called. How nice.”
“There’s no need for sarcasm. We heard you’re living with a man at a hotel.”
“I’m working for Kyle Hicks as a nanny. I look after his baby daughter while he’s at work. I’m not living with him like you think.” Always assuming the worst.
“That’s not the word about town. The bridge ladies said you’re living with him in the penthouse suite. He’s a rich playboy and he’s seduced you. Someone saw you kissing him in a bar.”
Good God, word traveled fast in this town.
“We just moved into a rental house today.” She’d ignore the playboy accusations and the kissing. “What do you want, Mom?” Violet shivered and pulled her sweater tighter.
“I’d like to see my grandson.”
“If you want to be part of our lives, you have to tell Dad. Dakota and I won’t be your dirty secret.”
Her mother blathered on about how it wasn’t that simple. Violet’s father was from a different time and his belief in the words of the bible led him, not the trappings of this world. Kyle came in from the patio and shot her a questioning look. She mouthed the words, my mom.
His eyes widened as he crossed the family room toward the kitchen. She would know his stride anywhere, so sure and steady, as if he knew exactly where he was headed. He came to stand on the opposite side of the kitchen island. “Stay strong,” he whispered.
She put the call on speaker. “My job is to protect my little boy from heartbreak. If Dad can’t accept me for what I am, then neither of you get to be part of Dakota’s life. That’s the end of it.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” Her voice sounded thick with tears. What did she have to cry about? Other than being spineless? “If you would apologize to him, we could put this whole thing to rest.”
“Mom, I have nothing to apologize for. He’s the one who wanted me out of his life.” She stared at the granite countertop, looking for a pattern but found only chaos. Not one section was the same as the other. This was the work of nature, not man.
“But your temper—you wounded his pride. He would forgive you if you would soften. You two are so much alike—sure of your position on everything. Do you realize your stubbornness ruins relationships? No wonder you don’t have a man.”
“I’m not like him. I would never push away someone I love because of some ideal.” Was that true? Her picketing and militant stance on the environment had almost kept her from Kyle. “You’re my parents. You’re supposed to love me unconditionally.”
“We do love you. You were awful to him, Violet. You know you were.” Her mother was in full tears now, replete with sniffles and sobs. Violet looked up at the ceiling, wavering between pity and anger. Kyle circled around the island and put his arm around her shoulders.
She let her weight sag against him, gathering strength from his warmth.
“Mom, I really have to go. You know how to reach me if you and Dad change your mind.” She clicked off before her mother could say anything further. She pushed the phone across the shiny granite countertop. It stopped just before falling off the other side, like a car on a snowy cliff. “I shouldn’t have answered the phone. But there’s always this part of me that believes this time might be different.”
Kyle loosened his embrace and brushed the tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. “You did well.” He gave her one last squeeze before stepping aside. He rested his elbows on the countertop, looking at her. “When you remove yourself from the drama, it takes away their power. You’re in control of your life. You know what’s best for Dakota.”
“Did you hear what she said? That I’m just like him—that I let my ideals outweigh my personal relationships.”
“Went right for the jugular on that one.”
“Do you think that’s true?” she asked.
He hesitated a split second too long.
“You do?”
“No, I don’t think that.”
“Then why did you hesitate?” she asked.
“I was thinking about how to explain why not.”
She hugged herself, waiting.
“I was thinking of you and me, actually,” he said. “You put aside your intense dislike of me to take care of Mollie. That’s perfect evidence that you’re exactly opposite of what she said.”
She let out a long, slow breath. Mary’s words about Lance came
back to her. He makes it so I can breathe.
“I can breathe when you’re here,” she said.
“Me too.”
She clung to him as he kissed her.
They went to the window over the sink and looked up at the night sky. The clouds shifted to let a sliver of starry sky peek onto the horizon.
He stood behind her with his arms loosely around her waist. “I think your parents want to reconcile. That’s why your mom called.”
She gripped the sink with her hands and hung her head. Did she want them in her life?
“We could have Thanksgiving here instead of going out to Maggie and Jackson’s,” he said. “We could invite your parents. An olive branch.”
She turned around to face him and gripped the steel muscles of his upper arms. “You’d do that for me? Give up seeing the Dogs on Thanksgiving?”
“I would do anything for you. A roasted turkey seems like a small thing.”
“You don’t know my parents.”
“Whatever you want, I support,” he said.
“I’d have to apologize to my dad to get them to come.”
“You know what I’ve learned since Mollie Blue showed up?” he asked.
“That we do whatever it takes to give our children what they need?”
“Something like that, yes.”
“I don’t know. Do I even want them in Dakota’s life?”
“It seems to me that you feel something’s missing without them,” he said. “Who knows, maybe your dad would be a better grandfather than he was a father.”
“I’m scared to call him.”
“I’ll stay right by your side,” he said.
“Can I have wine?”
He grinned that wolfish grin that made her stomach do flips. “Whatever the lady wants, she shall have.”
She fetched her phone and followed him into the family room. Kyle opened a bottle of red and poured two glasses. The glow from the gas fireplace cast a warm orange light. Still, she shivered as she dialed her mother’s number.
“Violet?”
“Hi again. I was thinking…maybe you guys would want to come over for Thanksgiving dinner.”
“At that man’s house?”
She caught Kyle’s eyes. “Yes. At the house we’re renting.”
“I don’t know if your dad will agree to it.”
“You can ask him, can’t you? If he says no, then so be it. I tried.” She glanced at Kyle. He made a gesture like he was stabbing a sword into his chest and then leaned forward.
She almost laughed. “Tell him I want to reconcile. For Dakota’s sake.”
“I’ll ask him and get back to you.”
“It’s been too long, Mom. Do it for Dakota.”
Her mother sniffed, obviously crying on the other end. “I’m glad you called back.”
After they hung up, Violet accepted the glass of wine from Kyle. “She said she’d let me know.”
“Soon, I hope? We need to buy a turkey.”
Her phone buzzed with a text from her mother.
He won’t come, but I will.
“Oh my God, she says she’ll come without him.”
“You’re kidding?” Kyle asked. “Tell her fine.”
That’s fine. Please come around 4:00.
I’ll bring the pies. I know they’re a little much for you.
She shook her head in disgust and showed Kyle the text. “Translation. Your pies are awful.”
He laughed. “I don’t care about your pies. I’m proud of you for calling.”
Tell Dad that I would like him to come. And that I’ll apologize.
I’ll try.
“I hope I don’t regret this.” Dread crept into her stomach and curled up like a heavy snake.
“I’ll be there. We’ll make it fun. First thing tomorrow, I’ll go out and get a turkey. If there are any fresh ones left, that is. Otherwise, we’ll do chicken.”
“Or one of those Tofu turkeys.”
He groaned. “Please, no. I’ll do anything.”
“I’m just kidding.”
They wandered over to the couch and took their positions on opposite ends just like they had at the hotel.
She watched his long fingers wrap around the stem of the wineglass and stifled a shiver as she imagined them traveling up the length of her legs.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Huh? Nothing.”
He grinned. “You were staring at me.”
“I was not.” She uncurled her legs and stretched them out along the length of the couch. He tossed her a pillow that she put under her head.
He draped an arm across the back of the couch and spread his long legs out to rest on the coffee table without taking his gaze from her. “You look so good tonight. So damn good. Those jeans.”
Her mouth went completely dry. She’d dressed in skinny jeans and a t-shirt that clung to her slender waist and small, round breasts. Knowing he liked it, she’d worn her hair down.
His gaze landed on her feet and stayed there. “You’re always barefooted. Why is that?”
“I hate shoes. They’re hot.” She wriggled her toes at him.
“But it’s cold outside.”
“Not to my feet.”
“Are you hot at night too? Do you like to have the windows open or the air conditioning blasting when you sleep?”
“Windows. Air conditioning is bad for the environment.” She said it to evoke an eye roll, but he didn’t sway from the subject of her sleeping routine.
“Do you take off your flannel pajamas before you get into bed?” he asked.
“Depends on how warm it is.”
“So, I should imagine you in the summer months.”
She sucked in a deep breath and held it in as a surge of desire slapped her hard.
He put aside his wine and reached out to one of her feet. His finger brushed the inside of her arch. Every nerve in her body popped to life.
A few more inches and her feet would be in his lap.
“Lettie, this is impossible.”
“What is?” she whispered, afraid to move.
“Thinking of anything but how badly I want to take you upstairs.” He moved closer and lifted her legs onto his lap. He reached under the cuff of her jeans to stroke her ankle. “And about all the things I want to do to you.”
She withdrew her legs from his lap and sat up, cross-legged, staring at him, breathing hard. “I thought we were taking it slow?” She could barely able to choke the words from her dry mouth.
“You should take pity on me. Think of all the sleep I’ve lost imagining you in my bed,” he said.
“I’ve lost a lot of sleep too.”
“Come here,” he said softly. “Put me out of my misery.” He reached out and pulled her onto his lap.
She wrapped her legs around his middle, straddling him. Her hands went into his thick hair.
He pressed into the small of her back and placed his mouth against her neck, his breath hot on her skin. “I’m going crazy. Concentrating on work is nearly impossible.” Kyle’s voice deepened in tone but lowered in volume. His words were like strokes of his tongue on her body. “My mind won’t shut off, thinking about you.”
She couldn’t breathe. If she did, she might wake up from this dream.
He lifted his head to look into her eyes. “I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”
She barely recognized her own voice. Was it possible for speech to drip with desire? “I haven’t been with anyone but Cole. You should know that.”
“I don’t care if you’ve been with a hundred men or none. I intend to make you mine.” He reached under her t-shirt and unfastened her bra with a quick flick of his thumb and fingers.
I’m already yours.
“You’re not just one of my conquests. This has to be what you want, on your terms.” He kissed her neck. “Do you want me to take you upstairs?”
“What if you lose interest after sex? That happens. I’ve heard it happens, anyway.�
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“Trust me. I’m not going to lose interest.”
“Then take me upstairs and do all those things you promised,” she whispered in his ear.
“Jesus, Lettie.” He kissed her again.
She opened her mouth to let him inside, darting her tongue against his upper lip.
“Not fair. So not fair.”
She moaned. “You’re the one who isn’t fair.”
“The things I want to do to you are better demonstrated in the bedroom.” With her legs still wrapped around him, he stood and carried her across the room to the bottom of the stairs.
“Please God, just let Mollie keep sleeping,” he muttered as he pushed her against the wall and kissed her.
“Upstairs, now,” she said.
He set her onto her feet. They hustled up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time.
When they reached the door to the master bedroom, he looked down at her with a gentle smile. “You sure about this? Once you step into this room, there’s no going back.”
“I’m ready. I’ve been ready.”
“You’re killing me.” He scooped her into his arms and crossed into the bedroom. The door closed behind them. A lamp from the desk threw shadows in the dim room.
“Wait, lock the door,” she said. “Just in case Dakota wakes up.”
“Good call. Rookie mistake.” He kissed her before sprinting across the room and twisting the lock. On the way back, like there were skates on his feet, he slid across the floor in his socks and fell onto the bed.
She squealed with laughter as he pulled her under him.
“You like my skating moves?” he asked.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I like all your moves. Turn out the lamp.”
He brushed her hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. “No, I want to see all of you.”
“I’ve never done it with the lights on.” She might burst into flames under his gaze.
“There’s no shame in it. Not when I feel the way I do about you.”
“I’m afraid you won’t like what you see.”
“That’s not something you should ever worry about. With or without your clothes, I see exactly how lovely you are.” He tapped her chest. “Because I see what’s in there and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t be afraid. We’ll go nice and slow.”
Marred Page 20
