Shatter Me Whole (Shattered Lives Book 3)
Page 1
Shatter Me Whole
Shattered Lives Series - Book Three
Barb Shuler
Contents
Shatter Me Whole
Other Novels by Barb Shuler
Acknowledgments
Reader * Warning
Prologue
1. Hiding In Plain Sight
2. Escape was the only Option
3. Who’s that Girl?
4. Finding the Traitor
5. Death would be too Easy…
6. What in the hell was that?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. I Hate Hospitals
9. Nightmares come True
10. Keeping Secrets
11. Trouble from the Ashes
12. Heart Broken
13. Panic Sets In
14. Not On My Watch
15. Facing the Monster Head On
16. Search and Rescue
17. Plan of Attack
18. Plans Made, Mission Set
19. Saving Graces in new Places
20. Ready to Rumble
21. Enough of This
22. Feeling Brand New
23. Heads will Roll
24. Where to now?
25. Togetherness
26. America’s Pastime
Epilogue
SHATTER ME WHOLE ~ PLAYLIST
Sparks of Deception (Book 4)
Prologue
About the Author
Shatter Me Whole (Shattered Lives Series; Book 3)
© Copyright 2017 Barbara Shuler
Published by Barbara Shuler
* * *
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.
* * *
Cover Image by: Lindee Robinson Photography
Cover Models: Travis Bendall & Hayley Jordan
Cover Art Design By: Madhat Covers
Edited by: Emily Maynard
Other Novels by Barb Shuler
My Own Nightmare (Shattered Lives Series; Book 1)
Somewhere I Belong (Shattered Lives Series; Book 2)
This book is dedicated to my grandmothers, Beatrice Williams Shuler and Dollie Burrow Hoskins.
Their love of family and willingness to make sacrifices showed me as a child that nothing is impossible. They gave us their all. They never gave up on the ones they loved. That takes a courage all it’s own. Not a day goes by that I don't miss them greatly. I know they're both with my grandfather's watching over us all.
I love you both so much.
Until we are together again...
Acknowledgments
First, I need to give a special thanks to two of my favorite Firefighters - Jeffrey Maynard & Jennifer Amerson. You two were so much help with the technical aspects in this book. You both made the whole firefighter process easy for me to get my head wrapped around, so I could put it into this story. Jenn, your EMT skills were spot on as well. You rock chick! Thank you both for all that you did to help me make this what it is!
A special thank you goes to my aunt, Wendy Campbell, and my cousin Tracey Parks for their help with some of the medical aspects of this story. It pays to have nurses you can always count on when you’re not sure Google has it right.
Emily Maynard, thank you for always being by my side, whether it's causing a ruckus or being a sounding board. Thank you for inspiring me to push myself forward and for being the best friend a girl could ask for. You helped me bring this vision to light and I am eternally grateful! <3
Annie Anderson, my dear friend, thank you for all that you did for me during this process. You not only made my fears go away but you helped me make my fight scenes… awesome. You're totally bad-ass!
Jessica McBee, my sweet Bestie… I hope this one doesn’t make you cringe. :) Couldn’t do it without your support. You’re the best. Luv ya!
Kelly Graham and Jo Dawson, my super special Beta readers. There are not enough words to say thank you. I am thrilled to have your input with this story. You helped cover up the holes and fill in the blanks.
Lindee Robinson of Lindee Robinson Photography - as always you gave me exactly what I needed for this cover to come to life. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and this is true for this cover! Thank you!
Shari Ryan, babe, I can’t thank you enough. You rocked out this cover and helped me with all of the things I needed… even when I was stressed and in tears. As always you are a great friend and I could not do this without you!
Reader * Warning
This book contains content that may not be suitable for everyone. There could be content that would be a trigger for some. This book contains graphic scenes of sexual and physical abuse along with other dark themes. It’s recommended for anyone 18 and older. This book also contains foul language.
* * *
I do not condone, agree or encourage the acts shown above.
* * *
This is a work of fiction and should be read as such. Places mentioned, while real are used solely for their location. All names and story ideas are those of the author.
Running from the hands of the devil may
lead you to the arms of an Angel.
Invisible wings and all.
Prologue
Family... a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household… what a joke. That word - it’s six letters that should mean love, honor and respect. People to make you feel safe and cared for. A place to run to when you’re hurt or scared. Not. Well, for some it might be. For me, not so much. Family is just a word. One that is associated with pain, hurt and anger. Dysfunction.. deviation from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as abnormal… Now, that is a word I can relate to.
My so-called mother married a man - Travis Jacobs - many years ago to be able to get away and belong to something. She wanted someone to love her. She wanted so many things, but what she got was a man that not only wanted to own her; he wanted to rule her. Her mind is so warped now that there is no turning back. She was stupid enough to fall for it all.
Now, she is his brainwashed little servant. She just does it without argument. Can you believe that? She just accept it like it was the right way to live your life. It sickens me. As I aged, I learned quickly that I was not allowed to be my own person. I had to fit into some mold they - mainly my stepfather - had for all women.
I rebelled. I refused to let him break my spirit. I've had to bide my time and suffer at the hands of the man she married and brought into our lives. Granted, when he came in I was merely a few months old.
I wasn’t his, thank God. He calls me ‘the bastard’, though that name fits him better.
If it’s not him torturing me, it’s his sons. I’ve suffered so much at the hands of my so called step-brothers, Gerald and Conner, in more ways than one. They see nothing wrong with it. I’m an outside
r, not of their blood. I mean nothing to any of them. Just another woman to use and order around.
Let’s not forget the man that I’ve been promised to. Clinton ‘owns’ me, as they see it. Can you believe that? They think it’s that easy. Why does he ‘own’ me? Well, I was given to him by my stepfather as part of a business deal. Ridiculous, right? I’ve run away more than once, or I should say, I tried to. I’ve been caught and punished each time. With each escape attempt, the punishments grew more severe. And… I have the scars to prove it. The last time it was Clinton who caught me. Arrangements were made and now as far as they are concerned, I’m his. He’s taken liberties - so many of them, whether I was willing or not. And I wasn’t. I’d never agree to any of this. I’m not okay with any of it happening. I wouldn’t have thought anyone would agree to live this way purposely. The old bastard ruined me for other men. Do I mean that in a good way? Hell no. The nasty slimy bastard has always done everything he can to hurt me, to claim me and mark me as his.
Now that I’m eighteen, they think I am going to miraculously change my mind and stay in this hell hole. That I’m going to cave and agree to join in this sick fuck in marriage. I’d rather set myself on fire. Seriously, I’ve thought about that. Or one of the times I’m marking my body - a way I use to ease the pain - I could just hit the right spot and end it all... They can all go fuck themselves up the ass with a hammer. It’s not happening. I’d have given up long before now, but I have two reasons to carry on and get myself into a better place. Two very small reasons. I have to save my.... my baby brother and sister. Yes, my siblings need me. They have to be my one and only priority right now.
It was time to run. To take a stand and fight. To survive. I thought I had timed it right to get us all out before anyone noticed we were gone. Only thing was, I didn't expect to find out things about these sick bastards that would truly haunt me - forever. It's all a game to them, but everytime I close my eyes I see things that are truly disturbing. It was like walking into a horror movie and finding out your exit door has been taken away. I was ready, and had the help of another woman, someone I knew I could trust. The one person that has always looked out for me - it was time to get us free of this place. But somehow... they found out. There was nothing I could do. I had to leave Taylor and Ryan behind… if I could get out once, I could get back in and save them.
With every passing moment without them I die a little. I’d have to find a way to save them from these sick, twisted creeps. I'd make sure they did not endure the same life I had. I'd burn the whole lot of those bastards to the ground to save those little angels.
For now, I had to stay free. I had to run. If I didn't get away I wouldn’t make it much longer. Taylor and Ryan... they need me as much as I need them. I have to save them has been on repeat in my head since I ran through the woods to my own freedom. Or what I thought was freedom. It’s only a new form of torture for me. I have to stay strong and alive for the ones that mean the most to me. I would die to save them, and dying may be just what happens, but I won't go out alone. I'll take any of those sick fucks - who try to interfere - with me.
1
Hiding In Plain Sight
Kristol
I took the red sharpie from my bag and used it to put a big ‘x’ over today on the wall calendar. With that action I swallowed back the bile that had risen in my throat. Almost two months - fifty-four days to be exact - and I was no closer to getting Taylor and Ryan out of that compound and away from those sick fuckers. I swiped a hand under my eyes and wiped away the tears as they fell. I would not cry. I would have to do more. Maybe I could get Jimmy to give me more hours at the station. That thought made me wrinkle my nose, but hey, it was a job and I desperately needed the money. Even if that meant ignoring his flirting and unflattering gazes up and down my body. I was so sick of men and their simple lack of respect for women.
The only good thing about my nights - or early morning I should say - were that it was quiet. Not too many people came in, unless it was the guys leaving the bars looking for snacks or more beer because they’d been cut off. Nothing went better with the stale smell of beer than a bag of Doritos and a bag of twizzlers. There could be worse combinations, trust me. I’d had to clean a few of them up. I wasn’t a fan of drunks. Not in the slightest. But my job was to keep the station clean, and make sales. So, that's what I do. How people stomached that crap I will never know. The beer and alcohol I mean, the Doritos and Twizzlers I could deal with. They were my number one junk food of choice after all - when I could afford them that is. Pop Tarts and Ramen noodles were staples in my diet as well.
There are other customers that come in from time to time. Truckers just passing through needing a shower and a nap. The local PD and Sheriff’s personnel… one of which stands out. He’s my Oreos and Mountain Dew snacker. Oh, and his pack of gum. That smile he shares with me each time I see him makes me melt a little. He always makes me feel safe when he’s in here. The moment he leaves that changes, though. I go back to my shattered, scared, on edge self. I shake my head at that thought and pat my belly as it growls. It was time to think about getting some food in me. Thinking of food makes me think of the corner grocery.
Mrs. Talbert, the grocery store owner - who is one of the few people I speak to in town - looks after me when I go in there. Her acts of kindness towards me make me want to do better for myself. It drives me to work harder. I hate needing the hand outs, and that is what it is, a hand out. But as they say, beggars can’t be choosers. In the last three months life has improved a bit. Now, instead of sleeping in the bathroom at the station - which no one knew about - I have moved to the store room. Jimmy lets me crash there for half my check. It’s a lot for a cot and blanket, but it beats a cold, hard tile floor. If I don’t argue with him, or seem to be ‘ungrateful’ as he calls it, he even leaves me snacks and sodas back there. It beats nothing.
I almost have enough saved up to move to the no tell motel down the street. They want one-hundred and fifteen dollars a week. It’s a lot cheaper than Jimmy, but it’s a long walk in the dark and if it’s raining, I chance getting soaked, which could cause me to get sick. If I get sick I can’t work. It’s just one clusterfuck after another it seems. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a groan and stretch. Time to get my weekly chores over.
I shoved all of my clothes into my pack and grab the roll of quarters and head out the door towards the motel. Thankfully the washer and dryer are between the front and back of the buildings and anyone can access them. I don’t have much to wash, as I don’t own much. Just what I could get from the local church. They get donations in from people in the area and give them to people in need. Again, I hate that I am one of those people in need.
Panting slightly I cough out a dry cough and make a face. I pulled the water bottle from my bag and sat it aside as I pulled out my clothes. I quickly tossed them into the washer and put in a few drops of the body wash from the small bottle in my hand. This stuff was expensive, I had to use it sparingly since I used it to wash myself too. Grabbing my bottle I moved over to the small sink on the opposite wall and fill it - which I quickly drained again, then refilled. Refreshed slightly I moved to sit on the dryer and crossed my feet under me. My back was to the wall so I could see who or what was coming my way.
I pulled the pen and small pocket notebook from the outside pocket of my pack and started to go over the simple list of things to get later from the grocery. I looked forward to seeing Mrs. Talbert today. I smiled as I twirled the end of my ponytail and started writing out my list.
* * *
loaf of bread
pack of sandwich meat
can of tuna
box of pop tarts
bottles of water 2
* * *
“Maybe I can get two cans of tuna this time… hmm...” I absently tapped the end of the pen against my knee. I wouldn’t change it yet. “Might scratch the water this time, this bottle might make it another week,” I grunted as the washer started
spinning beside me. A weary sigh left me as I added to my list.
* * *
box of granola bars
bag of Doritos
cans of soup x4
* * *
Wrinkling my nose I nodded. “Guess that will do it. That should last a week,” as the words left me my stomach growled. “I know, we will eat something soon,” I promised myself. The dread and loneliness accompanied my hunger.
This was all my mother's fault. I pushed my pen into my hair and slid the notebook into my back pocket before laying my head back against the wall. One day this would all be behind me. I would be in a nice house, Taylor and Ryan would be with me again and we could live a happy life. I would make that happen.
“Come back here, bitch!” I was running as fast as I could. I could hear the heavy beats of the booted feet behind me, but barely. My heart was racing so hard. I jumped the small stream at the back of the property, cursing as I slipped. Thankfully I caught my balance before I tumbled over. My adrenaline was pushing me to move faster. If I could just close my eyes I could pretend I hadn’t been here. That I hadn't seen anything. It was that moment of thought that caused me to lose focus of my surroundings. I tripped over something, what didn’t matter when I landed. I hit the dirt and grass covered area before me hard, knocking the breath from my lungs. Wheezing I blinked, and brushed the dirt covered hand before me over my face.