Shatter Me Whole (Shattered Lives Book 3)

by Barb Shuler

  “Fuck, that hurt,” I said with a groan as I scrambled back to my feet - but it was too late. The monster was here. I tried to step away, only to fall back on my ass.

  “What did I tell ya about running, bitch?” Clinton sneered.

  “Leave. Me. Alone!” I yelled.

  “You will learn a lesson today if it kills you. You will do as I say, when I say it,” he growled out his words as he lunged for me. I was tired after all of that running and I wasn’t fast enough to escape him when I got back to my feet. I was slammed back against his chest - held there by his tight grip. I wiggled only to still when I felt his erection pressing against my ass. Oh no, not this again. With one arm across my shoulder his other hand trailed up under my tank top and squeezed my breasts.

  The feel of his cracked and callused hands made my stomach flip. I jerked, trying to get away. “Stop!” I screamed as I stomped on his foot. Of course, it did no good. Tennis shoes vs. boots, means all I did was hurt my own damn foot. I bucked as his fingers squeezed my nipple, hard enough to make tears come to my eyes. “Please, stop. I don't want this!” I begged.

  “You are mine. I own you, you seem to forget that, you little bastard. No one loves you like I do. Not even that whore you call a mother,” he said as his hand went down my body, the tips of his fingers circled my navel before he slid that nasty hand down into my pants.

  I dug my nails into arm and squirmed. I wasn't letting him do this again. “No!” I tried pleading, again. Nothing ever stopped him though. His iron grip held me as he fondled me. When he thought I was ready he shifted and shoved me towards the ground.

  “On your knees, bitch,” he barked out. I tried to get away. Once again he grabbed me around the neck and before I could react my back was on the ground. I gasped as the pain shot through my body.

  “Just for that, you're gonna get the belt after I fuck you. You're mine, bitch. All mine,” his manic cackle filled my ears. My heart sped as the panic I had become friends with took me over.

  * * *

  Screaming, I jerked and fell off the small dryer I'd been sitting on. The tears that ran down my cheeks were wiped away with a hand as I wrapped my arms around myself.

  When I heard a whine, I turned and there stood a small dog - he was just a puppy really. His big brown eyes met mine and I swallowed hard as he inched forward. I tried to focus on the dog and not the internal pain of that memory. He inched closer and I slowly raised a hand out to him to sniff.

  He moved to sit beside me and nosed my hand. Those big brown eyes once again met mine. Something in me twisted as I ran my fingers down his side. He was scraggly looking. He needed a bath. God, he looked no better than I did.

  “Hey, buddy, where'd you come from?” I asked as I gave him a little scratch behind his ear. The washer buzzed and I pulled myself up from the ground. I washed my hands and quickly switched the wet clothes to the dryer. I kept my movements slow as to not scare the dog. Standing here I got a better look at him. He was dirty and again those big brown eyes met mine and he whined.

  “You hungry, too?” I asked as my stomach growled. I shifted on my feet and sighed looking down at the roll of quarters. There was four dollars left. I glanced back behind me to the alcove where there was a snack and soda machine. The soda machine long ago stopped working, though. I grabbed a dollar and went to see what the snack machine held. Chips, crackers and more chips. I sighed as I slid three quarters through the slot and pressed the buttons for a bag of chips. Grabbing them from the machine I moved slowly back to where I left the dog and sat back down on the ground and opened the chips.

  I gave them a sniff, cause, let's face it, I wasn't sure how long they'd been in there. I took one out and held it out to him. He just looked at me. I raised a brow and took the chip in my mouth. I pulled another out and grumbled ‘cause they were a little stale, but not too bad. I held one out to the dog and this time he took it. I nodded and we quickly finished off the bag of chips. It looked like I would be redoing that grocery list to feed two, instead of one. No way was I leaving him out here alone.

  2

  Escape was the only Option

  Kristol

  Two and a half - almost three weeks - had passed and things were changing slightly for me. The puppy I rescued - well, in truth he rescued me - has been at my side all day and night since we got back to the station. It took some finagling, but Jimmy finally agreed to let me keep him here. I had to add a pet fee to the rent I was paying him to sleep in the back room, but that was okay. This little fella - who wasn’t so little now that he was getting food regularly - was now named Thor, and he needed my love as much as I needed his. Jimmy let him be in the back of the store and outside, of course, but, under no circumstances is he allowed out in the main part of the store. Behind the counter was okay, though. I agreed and knowing he was in desperate need of a bath that day I set off to get him cleaned up by using the outside bathroom to give him a bath - well, a shower, really.

  Just a note; the shower is not the best way to give a dog a bath. But, true to his name, my little Thor was a good boy. He loved that bath. Now it’s a fight to get him to stay out of the shower with me when I go to clean up. Though, I give in and let him spin in a circle around me. I know that feeling. The need to feel clean.

  Sharing body wash with the pup is making it go faster, as is the food, so I have taken on extra shifts to be able to make a little more. I still have to save up for when I get Taylor and Ryan back. Because I will get my babies back. Counting out the money I have left in my bag I pull out the twenty and push the change and the few loose dollar bills back into the pocket of my pack. I chew on my bottom lip as I stand up and make my way to the door.

  “Thor, come,” I said as I pushed the back door to the station open. After we were outside I locked the door and slowly made my way around the building. I avoided the men in the lot - most of whom were here to fuel up or wash up. It didn’t take me long to walk the couple of blocks to the grocery store. I looked inside and grinned when I saw Mrs. Talbert at the counter, but my grin fell when I saw the two men in the store. The images hit me so hard it was hard to breathe.

  * * *

  I stood by the door to the cabin, watching as the figures stalked towards me. I was cornered, there was no where to go. No way to escape. As they came closer I reached out, grabbing at the fireplace. The poker hit my palm and I raised it, ready to fight my way out of this. They were not touching me again.

  “Put that down,” he snapped. I gritted my teeth and tightened my grip on the small piece of iron in my hand. I was the only thing keeping them back. They knew they only had a chance if they could surprise me. They failed. I wasn’t going down without a fight.

  “Get. Out!” I screamed. A new figure was shoved into the room and that moment of distraction gave them the room to move in. I was back handed and slammed back onto the floor. My arms and legs held down by strong hands. I tried to wiggle free.

  “You’re not going to stop us, you little bitch!” he snarled. I thrashed and screamed until a hand was put over my mouth. I jerked slightly and bit into the meaty part of his hand. I held on until the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. He screamed and I jerked my hand free. Throwing it out I caught the other asshole in the jaw - hitting him hard enough to pop my knuckles, but I didn’t care.

  “You won’t t-touch me again!” I stuttered as images of the last time ran through me. My eyes stung with unshed tears. I was able to scramble up to my feet and backed away from the new man.

  “Get the little she-bastard,” a new voice said. The smell of stale beer and cigarettes wafted towards me as he tackled me to the floor. With a shriek of pain I fought, only to be punched in the face. The darkness that followed blocked out the shameful acts they did to me. I woke up covered in blood, with new cuts on my thighs and stomach. My punishment for fighting back. I wasn’t a rule follower. I was the leader’s bastard step-daughter who no one loved. I was the outsider they all hated.

  * * *

&nb
sp; Gasping, I tried to pull myself from the memory. The pain was so real. I could feel the grubby bastard’s hands on me again. There was a small whine and something bumping my leg as I shuddered. I blinked back tears when I looked down to see Thor - who was up to my knees, even as a puppy. I had to get out of here before his whining drew attention. I reached down and patted his head. He nosed my hand and gave it a soft lick. It wasn’t enough. The figures were still moving around in the store… what if it was them? I had to get back to my safe place. It felt like I was suffocating.

  As I turned to leave, I ran into a wall of muscles. I glanced up, blinking, and took a small, shaky breath and a step back.

  “Hey, you okay, darlin’?” It was Officer Landry. He’d been in the station a few times and had always had a big smile for me as I rang up his purchase. It’s always two small packs of Oreos, a Mountain Dew, and a pack of Juicy Fruit. His words sent a warm tingle through me. His voice was soft, but rough. Having him this close calmed me. Weird.

  “S-sorry… Officer.. Landry,” I smiled tentatively as I straightened my back to stand taller. I could fake it with the best of them. I was calm.. If I said it enough in my head it had to be true, right? “I-I’m… I-I didn’t mean-”

  “It’s quite alright… Kris, right?” he asked and I nodded.

  “Y-yes.”

  “Then you should call me Jackson, or Jacks. Either is fine. That’s what my friends call me, and since you know my guilty obsession with Oreo’s I’d say we were friends,” he gave me a cheeky grin, that made my lips pull up at the corners. “That your pup?” I glanced back up when he asked about Thor.

  Nodding I took another breath to calm my frazzled nerves before I spoke. “Oh, um, yeah, sorta. I found him and we became friends over a bag of chips…” I shook my head as I cut off my babbling only to start again. “He followed me back to my nest, you could say,” I nodded my head with each word. “He’s a good pup, just needs love and food. I had that to give…” kind of, anyway, I finished in my head.

  Jackson chuckled and I smiled a little only to jump when the door to the grocery opened. I bit back the shriek as two huge men came out of the door. Tattoos, leather… they looked like trouble. I glanced away quickly. My eyes pinned themselves to Jackson’s shoes as I started counting, telling myself I was okay.

  “Jacks, my man. Will we see you later? Stella and the girls will expect it. We’re all suffering.. I mean coming to this shindig,” the big man’s voice was calm, gentle sounding, even. I glanced back at him and the man beside him who was now giving me an inquisitive look. I looked back down when Thor whined. Crouching down I buried my nose in his fur and closed my eyes. I was okay. I was safe.

  “I’ll meet y’all after my shift. So, a couple of hours. I was just heading into grab something to eat. Oh, hey, I saw Peter and Shayna out at the bar when I went in to handle a drunk and disorderly call. If y’all see him, make sure they show up this time and don’t get lost,” he said with a hearty chuckle.

  “You got it. I’ll put Stella on that. My girl’s a firecracker,” the tattooed man said before he and his friend walked off.

  “Hey, Kris, you sure you’re alright?” Jackson’s gaze met mine. I looked up and nodded as I stood.

  “Yeah, just.. Not feeling so good. I need to grab a few things and get back. I have work in an hour,” I said, making my way to the door of the grocery. “Thor, come,” I patted my leg, so glad Mrs. Talbert had said he could come in the other night. I hated the thought of leaving him alone. I hurried inside, waving at Mrs. Talbert before I started grabbing the few things I needed.

  I stood on the aisle in the back looking at the bags of dog food. Thor needed his own food since his bag was emptied out this morning. I got the cheapest one I could and moved back up the aisle with the small bag in my arms. Stopping on each aisle I searched for what I needed. A couple cans of tuna, a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a box of cereal. Again, the cheapest I could find. This was Jimmy’s fault. I was doing okay before, but now things were even tighter. I’d even had to pull out of my “saving” money. I cursed him in my head as I tried to decide on what I could afford. Twenty bucks only went so far. But I was done, it wasn’t like I needed much.

  I waited on Mrs. Talbert to ring me up and fidgeted, feeling eyes on me from behind. Thor nuzzled my leg and I smiled. He was such a good dog. He was right there to keep me calm. I was snapped out of my own head when Mrs. Talbert called my name.

  “Kristol,” she said gently.

  “Uh, yes ma’am. Sorry. What did you say?” I asked feeling foolish.

  “That’s okay, honey. You’re total is twenty-three seventy-four.”

  “Um…” I looked at the things she was about to put in a bag for me before I handed her the twenty dollar bill in my hand. “I’m sorry, I need to put something back…” I picked up the jar of peanut butter but sat it back down. I pushed the cans of tuna and the box of cereal to the side. “Can you take those off? I’m sorry,” I whispered. She gave me a concerned look and I swallowed hard as I fought to not let the tears in my eyes fall.

  “No. You don’t have to do that,” the voice from behind me made me jump. “I’ve got the difference.”

  “I-I can’t let you do that,” I stuttered out. What was with me not being able to talk around this man?

  “I’ve got it. It’s no worry, okay,” he said again, his gaze burning holes in the side of my face. Jesus. I shook my head as he handed Mrs. Talbert a five with a big grin on his face. I slumped in defeat. I really couldn’t make him listen anyway. Men always did what they wanted. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought.

  “Thank you,” I said as I took the two bags Mrs. Talbert had loaded my things in. I would return her canvas bags tomorrow, like always and they would be ready for my next visit. She really was too good to me. I thanked them both and hurried out of the store.

  I had to get back to the station, clean up and get ready to work. I started working the double shifts this afternoon. I’d be working from three to ten then again from one in the morning until eight in the morning. That was just enough time to grab a snack and a little nap after I walked Thor. This was going to be a long week.

  3

  Who’s that Girl?

  Jackson

  Everyday that I work I make it a point to stop at the gas station in town. Jimmy is trying to call it a truck stop; I guess for some that description works. It brings some business to our town, so it can’t be all bad. A few months ago he hired a new girl - Kristol - to work the counters. She someone I wasn’t familiar with. Drew didn’t know her either, no one did, really. I made it a point to smile and be polite to her after the first night Drew and I stopped in as a refuel stop. She was jumpier than a one legged duck, but very polite, and that smile.. It could melt the toughest of hearts.

  Of course, my cop brain told me there was something wrong. She was either just a nervous person, or she had been hurt before. No one acted like that unless they were in trouble. Right? Maybe she worked somewhere else and was held up once. That would make anyone jumpy. That was what Drew and I came up with, anyway.

  Since that night, I had seen her at the station - of course - as well as the grocery store. Mrs. Talbert always seemed to take care of her when she came in there. I had been in there twice now when she was short on cash. I hated seeing anyone struggle to pay for food, of all things. This last time she had a four legged friend with her. He looked to be about eight months old, so still a pup. His black coat shined - which showed she was trying to take good care of him, but they were both underweight. It cracked something inside me, really. It was a struggle for me not to rush in and help. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t want her to feel bad about needing help. That was the last thing I wanted. So, Mrs. Talbert and I came to an understanding after that night. Anytime Kristol came in and she was short she was to just put it on my tab. That way I knew she was getting food for her and her dog.

  I didn’t do it for recognition or anything. I truly wanted to
help this girl. Everyone needs a little help from time to time. We were blessed enough we didn’t struggle like that, but at her age - she looked to be in her early twenties - she shouldn’t have to either. As I sat at my desk I let my mind wander to Kristol more and more. There was something about her that pulled a smile to my face whether I wanted it to or not. She was a nice girl. I heard a snapping sound and jerked when I was slapped on the head with a folder.

  “What the fuck, asshole?” I glared at Drew, my twin brother and partner as he chuckled.

  “Dude, I called your name three times. What? Did you learn to sleep with ya eyes open or something?” he said. That ‘I know what you are thinking’ look ran across his features and I ground my molars together, welcoming the discomfort.

  “I was thinking, jerk. You know, that’s what people with a brain do. You’d know how to do that if you had one,” I shot back at him and closed the folder he had sat before me. I let my head fall forward slightly and rolled my neck. I was tired and almost regretting I’d agreed to work the extra few hours tonight for Charlie. He needed to help his dad, though, so I couldn’t fault him. It was only a few hours. What’s the worst that could happen? I scrubbed my hands over my face and stood up. I needed caffeine, pronto.