The Rocker Who Shatters Me

by Terri Anne Browning

  Jenna sat down across from us and picked up some of the mail in front of us. Without a word she started making her own piles for each band member and before long the mail had been sorted. Now we just had to read it.

  “I’ll take Wroth’s and Axton’s piles,” Jenna said. “One’s married and the other is pretty much a recluse since Marissa moved in here. How bad could those letters be?”

  I gaped at my little sister. “You’re kidding, right? Did you notice that there are more in Wroth’s pile than Liam’s? Or that Axton’s pile is just as big as Zander’s? Those chicks don’t care if Ax is married. They get off on the idea that they can tempt him away from Dallas.”

  “Okay, then I’ll take Liam’s and Devlin’s piles.”

  “No way,” Harris said, grabbing the stack of envelopes with his father’s name on it. “You don’t need that shit in your head, Jen.”

  Had that first letter really been that bad? I couldn’t help but wonder if I should have at least glanced at that damned thing before letting Harris read it. I honestly hadn’t wanted to disturb the kid, just show him what some of his father’s fans were like.

  “I’ll take Zander’s and Liam’s piles.” I pulled them closer to me. “Harris you deal with Dev and Wroth’s. Jenna, you take Axton’s. And for the love of God, do not repeat anything you read in those damned things to Dallas.” I really didn’t want to unleash Mega Bitch Dallas before the tour even started. That would seriously be the worst thing to happen.

  With Harris and Jenna helping me, the mail got taken care of in less than an hour. I put most of the letters and pictures in a trash bag and tossed it down the chute as we left the apartment. I didn’t want them to help me with my mile long to-do list, but it was nice to have some company as I took care of the things that needed immediate attention before we left on tour the next morning.

  After lunch, Harris abandoned us though, having gotten a text from Lucy asking him to come over because she hadn’t slept well the night before. Jenna and I both hid a smirk as he nearly made skid marks on the street under his sneakers in his rush to get to Lucy. It was adorable the way he always dropped what he was doing to help his friend when she said she needed him.

  “He will probably marry that girl one day,” I told my sister as we continued on our way down the busy New York City street.

  “If Jesse Thornton doesn’t kill him first,” Jenna agreed with a grin. “Okay, where to next?”

  I glanced down at my list, relieved to see that it was nearly completed. All that was left was to check on each of the guys and make sure they were packed and ready to leave early tomorrow morning. “Who do you want to check up on first? Liam, Wroth, Axton, or Zander?”

  “You’re not going to check on Dev?” Jenna raised a brow at me.

  “No need to. Harris already said that he and his dad were packed up.” I’d already crossed his name off my list before we’d even started.

  “Stop being such a baby, Nat.” Jenna linked her arm through mine and tugged me toward the edge of the curb where she hailed a cab. She gave the address to Zander’s hotel. Of course, it was also Devlin’s hotel. “He’s going to be a major part of your life for a very long time, sis. Unless you decide to quit your job and move to Bora Bora then you might as well get your head out of your ass and deal with him.”

  “Remind me again why I love you?” I glared at her across the seat of the cab, hating that she was right. Devlin was a huge part of my life and I needed to stop avoiding him.

  “Only because you have to,” Jenna smirked at me, but her blue-gray gaze softened. “It’s going to be okay, Nat. I’m not going to abandon you. Harris and I both will help you all that you need.”

  “Shut up,” I commanded, blinking back tears. No one, not one other person, loved me as much as my little sister did. We’d been the best of friends since the first time Jenna opened her mouth and said my name. There had never been a time when we fought or hated each other like some sisters tended to do. I could tell Jenna anything in confidence and knew she would take it to her death before revealing my secrets. And she knew the same was true for me.

  “Alright ladies, here we are.” I tossed the driver his money plus tip and climbed out of the cab after my sister.

  Inside the hotel, I went straight to the reception desk and told the man standing at the computer that I needed speak with Devlin, knowing that I wouldn’t just be able to get on the elevator and go straight up. You needed a key just to unlock that floor in this hotel. The man’s eyes narrowed at me. Sure I could have texted him myself, but I really didn’t want his name on my phone today. One text from me would turn into twenty from him. “Mr. Cutter has left specific instructions that he isn’t to be bothered.”

  My own eyes narrowed at the man. “Does he have company?”

  “I’ve no idea, Miss. But—”

  I lifted an angry hand and cut him off. “Call him.” When the man just glared at me, I reached across the counter and lifted the receiver, thrusting it into his face. “Call. Him. Tell him that Natalie Stevenson is waiting for him to get his lazy ass out of bed and any ho-bag that is in his room will be tossed out the window if I get up there and find them.”

  “Nat…”

  “Not now, Jenna. This was your idea to come here, now just shut the hell up,” I snapped and waved the phone in the receptionist’s face. “Now do your damn job and call Mr. Cutter, right the fuck now.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted to see me so bad, baby,” came a deep voice from behind me. I was so startled, I nearly threw the phone in the receptionist’s face at the sound of it.

  Devlin

  I tried to hide my grin as I stared down at a flustered Natalie. When I’d stepped off the elevator and saw her standing there waving a phone at the poor man behind the front desk I’d nearly burst out laughing. Fuck, but I loved how feisty she could be.

  I didn’t know why she was there and trying to get up to the penthouse to see me, but I wasn’t going to complain. Stepping around her, I glared down at the man behind the desk. “For future reference, Natalie Stevenson is to be given direct access to my room. Make a note of it, dude. It might save your life.”

  The thin little man swallowed hard and nodded his head hastily. “Y-yes sir, Mr. Cutter. I’ll be sure and put that in our files.”

  “Smart man.” Turning, I faced the simmering beauty and her wide-eyed sister. “You obviously wanted to see me pretty badly, Nat. Not that I’m complaining, but I’m wondering why.” Especially since she had barely spoken to me at all the day before. Although she’d had plenty to talk about to Rhett Fucking Tomlinson.

  “I’m just making sure you’re ready to leave in the morning. Harris said he was all packed and ready for the van to pick him up in the morning, but I wanted to check that you were, too.” She ran her hands through her short hair, grimaced, and dropped her hands by her sides almost angrily.

  “I still have a few things to throw in my case, but otherwise I’m ready to go.” I thrust my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, watching her closely. Her nostrils flared and I knew that she had caught the scent of my cologne. I’d only put on a little this morning, thinking I wouldn’t get to see her, but I’d sure as hell been hoping. “Want to come up and check for yourself?”

  “No,” she snapped and turned for the elevator.

  “Then where are you going?” I demanded, following after her. The elevator opened and five people stepped off. Natalie didn’t answer as she stepped into the elevator and Jenna followed. I glared at them both as I got into the little tin box with them. When Natalie hit the fourteenth floor, I clenched my jaw. Of course. I should have known.

  Fucking Z. Just the thought of her going to my ex-best friend’s hotel room, whether she had Jenna with her or not, made me see red. My hands balled into fists at my side as I ached to punch that fucker in the face over and over again.

  Once, a lifetime ago, Zander had been my best friend. He’d had my back through so much shit and I’d gladly had his bac
k in return. But all it had taken was one little slip of a chick and our friendship was tossed out a window. A window that hadn’t even been open, leaving our friendship not only broken on the ground, but with a huge chunk of glass sticking right through its heart.

  He’d known that I’d had feelings for Natalie before he’d even suggested that stupid-ass bet. It wasn’t like his feelings had been involved. Just his fucking dick and his pride when I’d won our bet within a week of the tour starting. I’d won and even cashed in on the bet, yet weeks later when I’d realized that I didn’t just care about Natalie but loved her, I’d told Zander that I didn’t want the prize. Didn’t need those stupid signed drumsticks by one of my idols. All I’d wanted was to forget about the damned bet and never let Natalie know about it.

  Two days later Zander had punched his fist into my chest and ripped out my heart when he’d told Natalie about what we’d been doing. He’d only had his pride stomped on, but I’d been given a deathblow. That’s how I felt without Natalie. Dead.

  When the elevator stopped, Natalie and Jenna stepped off and I could do nothing but follow them. Zander had issues, OCD issues. Like he would only stay on the fourteenth floor and he had to stay in room 1414 or he couldn’t sleep in a hotel. He was fucked up in the head when it came to the number fourteen, but I wasn’t going to get into his reasons for it.

  When Natalie stood outside of room 1414 she lifted her hand and knocked. Fourteen damned times. I leaned back against the wall across from the room, folding my arms over my chest as she softly counted each knock to herself. It killed me—fucking killed me—that she still cared about him enough to go that far just to get him to come to the damned door. Before the shit had hit the fan, Zander and Natalie had been good friends. I didn’t know how close they were now, but I’d never really asked.

  After a brief pause, I heard Zander curse followed by the sound of him stumbling. Moments later the door opened and a completely naked Zander stood there, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Nat? What—”

  “For real?” Jenna squeaked and covered her eyes with her hands. “Go put Mister Happy away, Zander. I do not want to see it waving around like a flag.”

  “Ah fuck, Jenna.” Zander shut the door and stumbled around inside again. It was a long while before the door opened again. He had on a pair of jeans, unbuttoned and hanging open, but at least his dick was put away. He glared from Jenna to Natalie and then he turned that killer glare on me. “What the hell do you three want?”

  Natalie lifted a brow at him. “I’m just checking to make sure that you’re ready to leave in the morning. Are you packed?”

  Zander’s eyes narrowed on her. “Nope.”

  “You are so damn lazy, Z,” Natalie snapped. “You’d better not leave this damn hotel until your shit is packed. I’m not gonna do it for you. Either your case gets packed or you won’t have anything to wear. I don’t fucking care which it is.”

  “Stop busting my balls, Nat. It’ll fucking get done.” I pushed away from the wall, stepping behind Natalie and giving my ex-best friend a look that had him glaring up at me but he took a step back. She could talk to him any way she damned well pleased, but he was not going to talk to her like that. “Was there anything else? Or are we done here?”

  “Definitely done,” Natalie muttered and turned to walk away. “The van will be here to pick you up at four in the morning. Don’t be late or you’ll have to face Emmie’s wrath.”

  “Big deal,” Zander grumbled, but there was no steam in his tone. That fucker was just as much a pussy when it came to Emmie Armstrong as me or any other member of OtherWorld. Shit, every man was a pussy when it came to having to face down that little redhead’s wrath. That didn’t make us cowards. Just smart.

  Very, very smart.

  Natalie

  When my alarm went off I headed straight for the bathroom. My head was killing me from lack of sleep and my stomach was tossing and turning with anxiety. Today was just the beginning of my fourteen-week imprisonment on a bus with OtherWorld. I would have loved to have been riding on Rhett’s bus, or even one of my brothers’ buses, but Emmie had told me I had to stop avoiding OtherWorld and especially Zander and Devlin. Otherwise my brothers would start getting suspicious and before I knew it Drake and Shane would know just how big of douchebags their friends really were. And then I would have two dead rockers and two rockers in jail.

  A shower helped with my headache. I dried in record time since there was hardly any hair left before putting on some comfortable clothes. When I walked into the living room, mentally doing a check of the apartment—windows locked, lights turned off, gas off, everything I needed packed and not lying around—it was to find Marissa in a pair of sweats sitting on the couch. She looked hung over, and after the two bottles of wine she had consumed, minus the one glass she had poured me and I’d left untouched, it was little wonder.

  Marissa was a lightweight. Normally one glass of wine and she was mellow. Give her an entire bottle and she was drunk. Two bottles? Last night had been the first time I’d seen her drink two bottles of wine, and it had been both amusing to watch her and heartbreaking. My friend was in just as much pain as I was and she had even more reason to hate the man who had broken her kind heart. Fucking rockers.

  I blamed the Demon’s Wings guys, but especially my brothers, for giving me a false sense of how decent rock stars could be. The way they treated their wives and cherished their odd family that I’d been blessed to be welcomed into had made me think that all rockers were just as great as they tended to be. Even Axton had given me the same impression with how much he loved Dallas and cared about the Demons and each of their families.

  OtherWorld definitely was not like that. They were the exact opposite in my opinion. Other than Axton and Liam who had become pretty close in the last year or so, the rest of them seemed to merely tolerate each other. Okay, so Zander and Devlin had once been as close as brothers, and I was probably partially responsible for the rift that had broken up their bond; but those two assholes needed to take the majority of that blame.

  “You two ready?” Linc asked as he came out of the kitchen with Rhett behind him.

  Rhett was eating a slice of toast and my stomach roiled at the sight of it. Fucking nerves.

  Marissa yawned and stood. “I guess.”

  There was a knock on the door and I opened it since I was so close, expecting it to be the van’s driver that was supposed to pick us up. The sight of Liam standing on the other side of the door, at four freaking thirty in the morning, made me squeak and jump back in surprise. “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

  Liam gave me a cocky half grin as he stepped into the apartment. “Good morning to you too, precious.” He moved across the living room and kissed his sister’s cheek. “Thought I would ride with you guys this morning.”

  In other words, he wanted to show his sister some love and support by showing up with her. My heart clenched a little at his loyalty to her. Liam had seriously turned his life around in the past eighteen months. Being completely sober and drug-free had done wonders for his personality, but he had always been careful with Marissa. She was the most treasured person in his life.

  “Let’s get going, you slackers,” Linc grumbled as he lifted his case and grabbed hold of my huge rolling case. I grabbed my cosmetics case, my keys, and the one thing I couldn’t do without: my clipboard. If it weren’t for that clipboard, I would run around in circles.

  Rhett and Liam took the rest of the cases and we all stepped onto the elevator. By the time we got downstairs the van was already waiting. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was chilly this morning and I didn’t want to have to stand around waiting.

  While everyone else got in, I made sure the driver stored our things away carefully and then took my place beside Marissa. My headache was coming back and throbbing like a bitch. When I turned to ask the others if they were set I was surprised to see that we had company. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I nearly screeched, throwin
g the bottle of water I’d grabbed from the fridge before leaving the apartment at him. He caught the bottle like I’d just tossed a Frisbee at him, uncapped it and took a thirsty swallow. The fucker probably hadn’t even been to bed yet from the looks of him. “You were supposed to be at the bus an hour ago.” He was supposed to be helping Axton make sure that all their stuff was stored under the OtherWorld bus.

  “Found some fun downtown,” he told me with a cock of one brow. Like he was fucking challenging me to get mad at him over that.

  I was pissed, that was for sure, but he could find fun wherever the hell he wanted. I’d never thought of Zander that way. Hadn’t even realized he had been attracted to me until after the terms of the bet had been explained to me. Now he hated me because I hadn’t wanted him, and I hated him for turning our friendship into something so worthless. The entire time I’d thought we were friends, he had just been trying to get into my panties. I should have known better, but again I blamed the Demons and their ability to think with their brains and not their dicks when it came to the people that mattered in their lives.

  Clenching my jaw, I turned and glared out the side window as the van pulled out into the scarce early morning New York City traffic. It took about fifteen minutes to reach the parking lot where seven huge buses were idling. As soon as the door opened, I jumped out and started taking charge. Liam and Marissa were busy arguing over where Marissa was going to be staying for the next fourteen weeks, but I didn’t have time to stop and watch as sweet little Marissa let loose the ‘f’ bomb more than once.

  After making sure that our bags were taken to the OtherWorld bus, I went in search of Emmie to make sure she didn’t have anything else for me to do before we hit the road. She was already on her bus and I stepped onto it to find Nik with a cranky Jagger in his arms while Mia was already on the couch in the living room watching Disney Jr. From the kitchenette, Felicity, their nanny, was fixing up bowls of cereal.

  “Morning, Nat,” Nik called as he rocked Jagger back and forth in his arms, making airplane noises in an attempt to quiet his son.