41 likes, 68 comments, On the Wall...it's Complicated!

by vidit chopra

  Chapter 13: Before Taking the Leap

  Okay now that you know I am going to take a big leap, don’t worry this is not going to make this story like those Indian Television soaps, it’s going to get more interesting from here. As it is said, no story is complete without the villain, so it’s time to introduce you to the villains of our story.

  Before I do that, let me share with you in brief what happened during the leap.

  Like every other relationship, as soon as the honeymoon period of our relationship was over, problems kicked in but we held on to it every single time. The only thing different in our relationship was we never had a break up like those other classic couples who have thousands of break ups in a single year! We held on together and ultimately as most you might be familiar with or might have even faced it, ended up with me being the one saying the word “Sorry” accepting the mistakes that she committed! If some guy out there replies to this saying, “I am not one of them”, in that case either that woman is not for you, or you are not made for her. Either way as soon as you finish reading this you should break up! I know I am no one to advice you that but it’s a fact, the fights ending up with the guy saying sorry most of the times, provides a relationship the stability it needs. The reason I say this is by the fight, women take out everything they have stored in them with the words while the men get the heavenly time that they cherish the most i.e. sitting at a place with nothing to think of and nothing interesting to hear! That, for me, gives a relationship the stability required!

  I entered college to realize that it was no better than the school I hated just that people and teachers were meaner, the politics was being played in every corner of the classroom, bitching was being done yet everyone tried to get a mark more than the other to get a better CGPA i.e Cumulative Grade Point Average! It was most of the time an agony at college till the first year was over.

  As I entered second year, Tanya joined the same college which wasn’t much of a problem. Admission at such a University is more of a money thing rather than a qualification thing and Tanya’s dad had tons of it! So now that we were going to the same college it meant much less number of classes, much more number of dates and similarly poorer grades! Our courses were different yet we rarely knew what was being taught, given that we hardly attended classes. It still used to surprise me how could we find so many topics to talk about. May be because she was the one who did the talking most of the time. Most of my replies were single words which included, “hmm”, “yes”, “no”, “oh”, “why” and similar. It’s not that I was bored of her or anything; it was more of a romantic thing. I loved listening to her and since I was a man of few words, I had to enjoy it if this had to work. We did have our fair share of fights given that we were the complete opposites. If she was a proton, I was an electron. If she was North, I was south! Her favourite colour was white, my favourite colour was black. Her favourite place to eat was a five star restaurant, my favourite place to eat was McDonald’s and this has nothing to do with the monetary issues as most of you might have thought with the last point. It was more of a taste problem! But the thing is black and white most of the time exist together, proton and electron bind each other, north and south poles result into magnetism. So here we were holding it out with our magnetic affinity for each other trying to fill our black and white life with colours. We loved to argue, even though she loved to term it discussion! We were neutral on some points, which was nice. Some things are best left without being discussed.

  It was an easy journey. Time flew by, with her at college. The second third and fourth year appeared as short as it seemed as if the first year ended just a month ago! We both graduated the same year as mine was a four year programme while hers was a three year one. Apart from the first year, college was filled with fond memories and a couple of funny ones too which need to be discussed because I know that everyone who is reading this would be able to relate with at least one of the two. Another reason you are going to enjoy it is because it is related to the ‘disease’ aka facebook for which I rarely found time given that Tanya was around and I was busy reading her face to write a book on it!

  Here go the two incidents and I will title them separately:

  What's your 'Relationship Status'?

  Okay now I know few people are going to hate me for this post but as always I won't be shy of posting this because Mark Zuckerberg is one of those few who will hate me for this but well I can't expect him to read this. Not for now at least. (Showing my height of optimism!)

  This bizarre yet hilarious situation arises when you change your ‘relationship status’ to "In a relationship" on you Facebook (Disease) profile.

  Relationship Status: Strictly talking of Facebook out here you might write 100 classy status updates, post hundreds of funny pictures, post hilarious videos but no matter what you do, the day you change your relationship status from single to something else there will be a flurry of comments and flurry of likes the very moment when you click on update!

  Now even though there is a striking similarity in all the comments you receive with most of them being 'congratulations' but there is always a different story or a different emotion hidden behind that congratulations! Here I am going to list out a few of them:

  1. Now before the banter starts there are surely a couple of your friends who are genuinely happy for you. The reason for their 'genuineness' is that they already are happy in their life and anything happening in somebody else's life rarely affects them. They only emit happiness!

  2. This is the emotion that many people on my friend list would have felt as soon as they saw what I had posted and that is SURPRISE. "Vishal is in a relationship! Is there a woman mad enough to be able to understand him!" or likewise. 

  3. Well I can't actually authenticate this emotion but I do believe it would have happened with someone or the other for sure. "So now even this person is in a relationship. God knows when I will find someone! I am so angry with myself. I want a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don’t want to die lonely. I want someone to take care of me to love me." Tears would have rolled down yet the reply on the update would have been. “Congratulations.” With a big smile emoticon following it!

  4. People who do know a bit about you start linking you with someone or the other just to figure out who the person is! These people are the most annoying. They just don’t stop till they figure it out. Ultimately, you have to give them a false indication and they take the last guess to be the lucky one or the victim as their thought process might be!

  5. Some anxious souls who do know about the reality, batter you to such an extent that you actually decide to change back your relationship status to single or delete the post!

  There are several other emotions which can be discussed but well these were the top 5 I had on my mind.

  Another thing that just popped into my mind is that somewhere alongside those comments there will be comments from a couple of people, whom you knew years back but were forgotten. People who are not even acquaintances would be there commenting and you would say, "What is this person even doing on my friend list?"

  I can say this on a personal level and if you wish you too can try it out just the way I did. Change your Relationship Status for 24 hours and enjoy 24 hours of social networking fame!

  The second incident is as funny and to me as it is annoying!

  The 'social' family

  Now looking at the topic of discussion you think that I am going to talk about a family which is social, love socializing etc etc etc (blah blah blah) but no I am not talking about that family here. I am talking about the other social family that people possess on the disease facebook.

  One fine day I opened up my facebook account and what I found was not only hilarious but super idiotic. Even though I didn't really understand what should I make of it but well it wasn't anything more than hilarious to me. (If I leave out the feeling of irritation!)

  What I found was a certain someone on my friend list had updated the prof
ile and added the links of the parents, grandparents, siblings, boyfriend/girlfriend and even kids!

  You would say, "So what! Everyone has a family; everyone has the right to display it on their profile. What's your problem?"

  Here is what amazed me or rather made me laugh. As far as I remember there were only a couple of married people who were on my friend list which included my dad and a couple of my aunts but the fact of the matter is it wasn't any of these people who had updated all this information but a normal school/college going person!

  Now imagine a school going boy/girl, I won't specify who it was and would let you figure out who could it have been, anyways going back to imagining, A school/college going person having his/her dad, mom, son, daughter even grandparents ALL IN HIS/HER OWN CLASS! Now if this is in anyway true this most probably is the 'wonder' family rather than a 'social' family!

  Can be a group of vampires as well. Grandparents doing graduation for the 50th odd time, parents for 25th time and the person for the first time!

  In such a case I should go back and change the topic to the 'wonder' family or maybe Vampire Family.

  How much fun it would be for this family, studying in the same class, in the same school/college. It sounds awesome fun to me! The whole family growing up together!

  Now the social family is like the best family. What fun it would be saying, "Hey mom, hey dad let's go for a night out at your grandkids place." or "Hey mom I think I am falling for that friend of yours. She is beautiful and awesome! Can you give me her number or at least introduce her to me?" or "Yo dad, wanna beer?" and several other such instances.

  From bitching about people to swearing, to doing weird stuff with your dad, mom even grandparents or may be son or daughter and so on.

  Now irrespective of how cool it sounds if something like this happens it will appear lame more than anything else! Doing something like that would be unethical and something against the world. I don't say that this can't happen. There are families where this happens but it still sounds idiotic to me especially the second phrase!

  Another thing that I came across was people getting married online as in a certain girl engaged/married to another girl (I specified this because that's what I saw on a profile). Public Display of Affection (PDA) has risen to such heights that women are now getting married to each other! Is there seriously no limit to gayness!

  All I can say to such people is kindly wake up from your sleep and start acting a bit responsibly. Nobody can replace your mom, your dad or your siblings. They will be who they are. Changing them on a social networking website isn't funny even though it might look to you. At the end of it, it's your personal choice. It's your profile, it's your life. You are free to do whatever you want to. I can't stop you from doing anything. If the above few paragraphs offended someone kindly ask this question to people around to understand what they feel about the subject.

  Coming back to the story