41 likes, 68 comments, On the Wall...it's Complicated!

by vidit chopra

  Chapter 12: When it started falling apart

  Now that I have posted about the two incidents that I so wanted to, coming back to the story, college was most probably the most fun time I ever had in my life. The problem really started at Tanya’s graduation party back in Dehradun. Tanya’s dad was in town which was a rarity. With his busy schedule and meetings all over the country, he rarely came home. If he were not a businessman, he would surely have been a hippie! It was nice to see Ayesha and Kabir. Since the start of college I had seen them only once which was much of a disappointment but it was time we had some quality time again together. Now that my job call was a month away and hence I had nothing to do as such. It had been a long time since the five of us were together. Tanya’s brother Kushal was also back. He had completed his graduation and before going in for M.B.A was helping out his dad in business which made it the six of us. He too was pretty cool. He knew everything about me and Tanya asTanya never ever hid anything from her brother so it was kind of a mixed emotion for me meeting him. There is something about brothers of your girlfriend. They can occasionally act weird, out of line and may even get mad at you for no particular reason. He looked cool to me but who knows when he would blow his top so I was rather careful around him. Given his built he would have knocked me out in a single punch and I didn’t want that to happen.

  He had average looks but as I said, his built was enough to scare me. The party was going on well, a lot of jokes were being cracked about a lot of things which are better left unspecified. The one thing that was being served which I hated morally even though it was the reason for me and Tanya being together, as you might have guessed it, alcohol.

  The fact that we were now legally allowed to consume it didn’t deter me. I was firm on my resolve of not drinking and was going to stick to it for the rest of my life. Tanya, Ayesha and Simran too gave it a pass but we had two alcoholics on our sides i.e. Kabir and Kushal. They both were at the bar since the start of the party. Turns out both of them turned into one during their college days. It’s more of a moral thing rather than anything else, the ones who hate it or find it wrong don’t take it and the ones who do, end up being on the bar and only at the bar at every single party!

  They both were trying out new combinations, from the screw driver to everything else, I don’t know the names even, to be honest!

  “Stop it both of you. It’s enough for one night.” Tanya said.

  “Oh come on T it’s a party. I promise I won’t get high.” Kushal said sounding high already. I hated him when he called Tanya ‘T’. She has a name and a pretty good one at that. I don’t have anything against pet names but they should be at least worth hearing and take a note of.

  “Seriously bro, stop it and spare us all the embarrassment that we might have to face because of you.” I said. My relationship had gone a bit sore with him since his drinking problem had started. The last time we met it ended on sore terms for it was a party, he was high and what happened after that, again the less spoken of the better.

  “Come on man. I am not drunk. We are just trying out new things. You too should join us.” He replied.

  I had nothing to say for I knew if I did it will again end up in a fight and may even reach to a point of no return in our relationship. His relationship with his parents too was on the slide since they came to know about his drinking issues. He just wasn’t ready to listen to anyone about it. His girlfriend left him for the very same reason. To me, if a girl can’t change a habit of man, no one can unless it’s the wrong girl. A girl has all the power that one needs to either make a man’s life or to destroy it completely. It’s all about who you are with. The good one or the rather bad one!

  I didn’t push any further and was with the rest most of the time. Given that Tanya’s parents were around and so were mine, the fact that we hadn’t already told them about us was killing us. Not that we didn’t want them to know or anything, it was about time that we should have, but just couldn’t frame it into words. So we stayed close yet away from each other at the party, most of the conversation was through the eyes or through Ayesha.

  Everything was good; everyone was enjoying the party, Tanya’s dad was happy too, entertaining his high profile guests which included CEO’s of big companies, city DM and all those from similar ranks. Even though he was a rarity, when he was around he was fun. It looked as if he was the coolest head ever. Never had I seen him lose his calm, shout at his children or at his workers even. His attitude was one big reason that I knew our families won’t have a problem with our relationship but still that fear persisted within our hearts, “what if they don’t!”

  This was the biggest reason that was holding us back from telling them as it is this was no bollywood movie, this was our real life. Every step we took had to be the right one for running away was never going to be an option!

  The party was progressing well; guests came and went while we all too were enjoying ourselves.

  “Hello Mr. Vishal how have you been doing?” Tanya asked performing the drill that we frequently did. I don’t know what fun we got out of it but it sure was interesting!

  “I am good Ms. Sharma how are you?” I said.

  “I am good too. So how is life?” She said.

  “As per your reply life is good!” I said and winked. She smiled.

  “And how has life been treating you?” She asked.

  “Um. I don’t know. I am unable to make out and that didn’t have any double meaning behind it I swear!” I said.

  She spanked my arm.

  “Shut up.” She said disgusted. I gave my devilish smile.

  “So?” she said.

  “So?” I repeated

  “So what’s your answer?” She said.

  “My answer to what?” I asked.

  “The question I asked Vishal.” She said.

  “Which question Tanya?” I said

  “I asked how has life been treating you.” She said all the more disgusted.

  “Oh that question. Life is asking a lot of questions.” I said and winked again.

  “Why is it asking a lot of questions?” She said.

  “I don’t know and it’s a she not an ‘it’.” I said.

  “How can you be so sure that your life is a she?” She said.

  “Because I know.” I said.

  “And who is your life?” She said.

  “As if you don’t know.” I said

  “Do I?” She said

  “Don’t you?” I said

  “I don’t know.” She said

  “I don’t either.” I said.

  “But you just said you do!” She said.

  “I lied.” I said.

  “You are lying now!” She said.

  “I am speaking the truth now.” I said.

  “Are you?” She said.

  “Stop asking questions!” I said frustrated.

  “Should I stop?” She said and winked.

  “Your wish.” I said.

  “Who is your life?” She asked again.

  “You just won’t give up, would you?” I said.

  “You know the answer to that.” She said and smiled.

  “Do I?” I said.

  “Yes you do. Now shut up and answer my question.” She said.

  “You want me to shut up or do you want me to answer?” I said.

  “I want you to shut your bullshit and answer my question.” She said.

  “What’s the question again?” I said.

  “I will kill you.” She said.

  “Will you?” I said.

  “Yes I will.” She replied.

  “Then there is no point left. If my life takes away my life then there is no life left!” I said.

  “Yes so.” She said.

  “So that’s your answer.” I said.

  “What answer?” She said.

  “Answer to your question.” I said.

  “Which question?” She said.

  “The one you asked.” I said.
/>   “What did I ask?” She said.

  “That who is my life?” I said.

  “What was your answer?” She said.

  “The sentence I said a couple of minutes back.” I said.

  “Which sentence?” She said.

  “Stop troubling me.” I said.

  “Which sentence?” She repeated.

  “Nothing.” I said.

  “What nothing?” She said.

  “Nothing nothing.” I said.

  “Shut up. Answer my question.” She said.

  “Which question?” I said.

  “Who is your life?” She said.

  “You are my life.” I replied finally as it is all this was getting a bit too much now.

  “See the answer was shoooooooooo simple and you are sooooooo cute.” She said.

  “Shut up.” I said.

  “You could have saved five minutes worth of energy if you had answered at the first go!” She said.

  “BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!” Kushal said.

  All this while he had been standing at a close distance and listening to the both of us. So were Simran, Ayesha and Kabir.

  “You both are perfect for each other.” Kushal said who appeared to be pretty much drunk and high. It was the alcohol speaking now rather than his mind.

  “Control yourself Kushal. This is a social party. There are people around.” I warned him before he could say anything further for I knew a drunk man is capable of spilling out everything and I could say this by personal experience as you might have read above!

  “Oh come on dude. I am in full control of myself. I am in my senses. Stop making me feel that I am drunk by moving from one place to another!” He said.

  “I haven’t moved an inch Kushal. It’s your head which is spinning!” I said.

  “Yeah yeah whatever.” He said.

  “I told you not to drink so much.” Tanya said visibly upset.

  “Come on T. I am telling you. I am not drunk.” He replied.

  “I can very well see that.” Tanya replied sarcastically.

  “Fuck me. Let’s talk about the both of you. You both are perfect with each other. It’s as if you were made for each other kind of a thing.” The alcohol in his system had already started speaking.

  “Make him shut up. Your parents are around if you remember.” I whispered in Tanya’s ear.

  “What are you saying to her?” He asked.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head.

  “Oh come on man you can share with me. We are family now.” He said as loud as he possibly could. He did turn a couple of heads. Luckily, Tanya’s parents weren’t in the vicinity so couldn’t hear him.

  “Shut up Kushal and come with me.” Tanya said and held him by the hand to take him back to his room.

  “I am not going anywhere T. The party has just started. Let’s enjoy!” He said and started dancing.

  Out of the blue, the ball dance music started playing, a totally unexpected thing in an Indian style party but turns out that Tanya’s dad had other plans. It was as if an American Prom night had come to life with that music. That music caught Kushal’s attention.

  “It’s time for you both to couple dance. Come with me.” He said.

  “No we aren’t doing anything of that sort.” Tanya said. Even though she was holding Kushal’s hand, it was Kushal who was dragging her to the stage. I was helpless and hence had to follow them.

  “Yes you both are. I want the two of you to enjoy , I don’t want your story to end the way mine ended!” He said.

  “By doing this, our story might eventually end as yours did!” I said.

  He was in no mood to listen to anything. He dragged Tanya to the stage which was supposed to be the dance floor but no one was in the vicinity of that place. Turns out the alcoholics weren’t still drunk enough to start dancing! This meant that the three of us were standing on the floor with Kushal making the both of us hold hands and deliberately trying to make us dance.

  “Stop it bhaiya.” Tanya said almost in tears now.

  As there was no one else on the floor, it meant we caught a lot of eyes and eventually the eyes of Tanya’s dad. He ran up to the floor.

  “What’s happening over here.” He asked.

  Kushal looked up.

  “Oh daaad. Nothing dad. I am just trying to make the two of them dance.” He said. Tanya and I stood silent for we knew saying anything would eventually fuck things up.

  “You are drunk. Go back to your room. Party is over for you.” He said coolly. It seemed as though he never got angry. He was calm and composed under every situation.

  “Come on dad. The party has just begun. I don’t want to go back. Can I stay a while longer please.” Kushal said.

  The way he was behaving made me chuckle for I remembered what Tanya and I did the first and the last time we ever consumed alcohol.

  “No means no Kushal. Enough of the drama. You are going back to your room right away.” He replied.

  “Okay I will but after these two dance together.” Kushal said.

  “Okay.” He replied. He then looked at the two of us.

  “What?” Tanya said.

  “Dance with him. For his sake. It will be better if you agree. It’s much better than creating a scene.” He explained.

  “I am not dancing with him.” She said looking at me. That did hurt me when she said that but I did understand it was just to show her dad.

  “Oh come on princess it’s just a dance.” He said as calm as ever. Even though our country was progressing but I still didn’t expect a dad insisting her daughter to dance with a random friend, a guy friend, on the request of his drunk son! Amazing. It would have been believable if someone of my generation asked their daughter but this came as an eye opener for me. Maybe it was just him. Maybe he was different. In a way that did give me a bit of respite and also built up the possibility of him approving of us. So I took this incident to be a blessing in disguise. Tanya agreed to dance, I mean she showed she agreed even though she wanted to do it all along. Soon, the others joined in and the alcoholics were drunk now so everyone was in for a ball.

  Kushal picked up another drink and luckily Tanya’s dad saw him.

  “Enough son. You are coming with me back to your room.” He said.

  “Okay dad. As you say.” Kushal replied.

  I saw them going away to the room. After moving ten yards or so, they stopped and Tanya’s dad turned to look at me straight into the eyes.

  I smiled considering it to be a friendly stare. He made Kushal sit on one of the chairs, came towards me and stood right in front of me.

  “May I help you uncle?” I asked.

  There was this look on his face which I had never seen before. It was of anger. That’s what I could assess.

  “Yes. Yes you can help me.” He said softly.

  Maybe I had interpreted it all wrong. Maybe I was over thinking everything!

  “Tell me.” I said and smiled.

  “Get the hell out of this city by tomorrow and do not try to contact my daughter ever again and do not return to this city ever.” He said in a rather angry tone. So I hadn’t assessed him wrong but that wasn’t a good thing.

  The only thing I couldn’t understand was what the hell was happening. I could understand that the alcohol had done its job. It had successfully been able to tell Tanya’s dad about me and her. The thing that disappointed me was his reaction. I had expected him to be cool with it but turns out he too was like most of the Indian parents, too stubborn to accept the entry of an unknown someone in their daughter’s life. I couldn’t blame him for it. That’s how they had grown up but still there was a part of me which was now feeling sad for things didn’t turn out as they should have.

  I had to put the blame on someone for this happening and it had to be Kushal given that it was him who told Tanya’s dad in the first place.

  Her dad’s threat was a pretty scary one though. It was as though a typical Bollywood film scene had come to life. “Meri
beti se door raho aur apni jaan pyaari hai toh ye shehar chod ke chale jao jald se jald” A classic Hindi movie dialogue. I was dumb founded. I went back to Kabir’s place and waited for them to return.

  “You came back early.” Kabir’s mom said.

  “The place was suffocating.” I said.

  She smiled and went back to sleep while I waited for the rest of them to arrive.

  After an hour’s wait Kabir, Ayesha and Simran were back.

  “Why did you come back early?” Ayesha asked as soon as they entered.

  “Long story.” I said.

  “I know what happened.” Kabir said.

  “Oh so you are in your senses. Good to know that!” I said.

  “You don’t have to be mad at me for it. It’s not my fault.” He said.

  “What happened? What’s wrong?” Simran asked.

  “You know about the dancing incident right?” I asked.

  “Yes we do. We were watching from a safe distance till it was the right time to visit.” Simran nodded and said.

  “After that Kushal’s dad was carrying him back to his room.” Kabir said.

  “So?” Ayesha asked.

  “On the way Kushal told everything about him and Tanya to his dad.” Kabir said.

  “Oh crap.” Simran said.

  “What happened then.” Ayesha asked.

  “He came to talk to me.” I said.

  “What did he say??” Ayesha asked.

  “He warned me and asked me to leave town asap if I didn’t want myself to be killed and also warned me not to see Tanya ever again.” I said.

  There was stunned silence in the room.

  “You got to be kidding me Vishal. That’s impossible. He is so cool with everything. I never expected such a reaction from him!” Simran said still stunned.

  “Neither did I.” Ayesha said.

  “I thought the same but turns out he too is just an average Indian parent.” I said.

  “So what do we have to do next?” Kabir asked.

  “Did you try calling Tanya?” Simran asked.

  “I did. The phone is switched off. Looks like the family drama trauma has begun at that place!” I said.

  “What do we do now?” Kabir asked again.

  “We aren’t leaving. That’s for sure and fuck his warning. I do not care a bit about his warning. His threats won’t affect me and it shouldn’t affect any of you.” Simran said.

  “Oh it should Simran. He is a big shot businessman. He can get us killed any time he wants.” Kabir warned.

  “I don’t believe that.” Simran said.

  “I do. It’s how this country functions. If you have the money, you have the power to do anything you want!” I said.

  “So? Should we leave then?” Simran said with obvious sarcasm.

  “I didn’t mean that but we should think of a way out of this situation rather than start a fight.” I said.

  “How will that be?” Kabir said.

  “What did you say Vishal when Tanya’s dad warned you?” Ayesha asked.

  “Nothing. He didn’t wait for me to speak and went off. Why?” I replied.

  “Well maybe this mess can be cleaned up then.” Ayesha said.

  “How?” We all asked.

  “If Kushal goes to his dad and says that he was drunk and was speaking nonsensical fictional stuff.” Ayesha said.

  “He will never believe him.” I said.

  “Why not? I mean you didn’t say anything that confessed your relationship with Tanya and I am sure she wouldn’t have either. So everything that Tanya’s dad believed was by what Kushal said when he was drunk.” Ayesha explained.

  “It’s worth a try I guess. Good one Ayesha.” Simran said.

  “I guess so too. Can work.” Kabir said.

  “Okay then. Let’s wait till tomorrow morning and if Tanya’s dad doesn’t plan on killing me tonight then we will talk to Tanya and Kushal and plan things further.” I said.

  We all changed and went off to sleep, or at least tried to sleep. I knew it was going to be one long night! Next day morning I called up Tanya and she was badly shaken up from the incident.

  “I can’t go against him Vishal and you know that. Even if I do you know that it’s going to end up badly for both of us.” Tanya said.

  “So what do you want me to do now?” I said frustrated

  “When did I ask you to do anything Vishal? I am just saying that we need to think of something because going against him won’t help.” She said.

  “What can I do about it? He is the big shot; he has the power to do everything he wants. Ask him to do something. This all is happening because of him in the first place.” I said.

  “Stop blaming him for what is happening. One day or the other he had to know and we knew that this was going to happen the day he did.” She said.

  “I am sorry. I had no intention of causing troubles for the two of you.” Kushal said repenting for what he had done.

  “It’s not an issue Kushal. It’s just that we didn’t expect this to happen; this wasn’t the way we wanted your parents to come to know and even if this had to happen, we didn’t expect the kind of reaction we got from them!” I said.

  “Still, maybe I just took it all out, all the frustration related to my failed relationship on a wrong thing. I am really sorry for screwing it up for you.” Kushal said.

  I simply nodded as it is I didn’t have much to say to that!

  “I have created the mess and let me try to solve it first. I will convince dad, hopefully!” Kushal said.

  “And how will that be?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I will figure a way out. Till then, what I would say is you go back to your city. This place isn’t safe. As far as I could analyze the situation, everything he said was on an impulse. He was upset about something else but took it out on the both of you!” Kushal said.

  “Why do you say that? Judging by the way he spoke, everything he said, I think he meant all of it.” Tanya said.

  “Maybe he is right. Maybe it was all more of an impulse thing than anything else. Think about it. If twenty odd years down the line I come to know that my daughter has a boyfriend and everyone but me knows about it, I will be angry for sure.” I said.

  “Shut up. You are not scolding our children ever!” Tanya said.

  “In the current scenario, I do not expect us to have children!” I laughed.

  “Shut up.” She said her default reply whenever she had nothing else to say.

  “But hear me out first. Maybe my reaction will be a different one after analyzing everything but that first reaction I will have is of protection. If a guy who is completely alien to me goes around with my daughter, I sure will feel a bit protective at first and maybe give a similar reaction as your dad gave. I might not ask the guy to leave the town since I don’t have any such power or authority but I sure will ask him to stay away from her. That would be the reaction of any Indian dad for sure! They are protective about us and no matter our age, we still remain a kid for them throughout our life. That’s how parents are you can’t help it. Being protective is how they show their love for us!” I said.

  “Cut short your speech Mr. Philosopher and tell us the point.” Tanya said.

  “The point is they can be possesive and maybe that’s what your dad was trying to do when he said all that. So in a way Kushal might be right. It could have all been on an impulse. It’s best we agree to what he wants just for the time being and hope he will realize that what he did was not what he wanted to do. If we retaliate and a take a wrong step it might give a wrong impression altogether and he might even come to think that what he did in asking me to move the hell away from you was right!” I said.

  “And what if it wasn’t an impulse. What if he meant everything he said? What if he never wants us to be together?” Tanya said.

  “Well that’s something neither you nor I can ever be sure of unless we try. Ultimately destiny will play its role. If we are meant to be together we will be
together. Neither your dad, nor anyone else can stop it from happening. As it is it was the first time ever I saw your dad lose his calm. He was being unreasonable and hopefully he would have realized that or soon will do so!” I said.

  “I will think of an appropriate time to talk to dad about all of this. It’s my shit and I will clean it for you but the thing that needs to be done right away is that you have to leave this town if you both want this thing to work out.” Kushal said.

  “I will do that. I am leaving right off. There is no point aggravating your dad’s anger for who knows he might get me killed and thrown off in which part of the city. I want my parents to be able to see me in one single piece.” I said and winked.

  “Shut up Vishal. He is not going to do any such thing and I can bet on that.” Tanya said defending her dad.

  “I hope so.” I replied. I was still confused if it was just that moment or her dad actually meant it and yes I say this after giving a rather elaborate speech all in support of the former but still I had my doubts which just didn’t let me think that it was a momentary anger! Anyhow, all we could do was wait for what destiny and life had in store for us!

  I had to take an afternoon bus back to my city, for finding a train reservation at such short notice was as easy as finding kryptonite! I went back and packed up my stuff, Kabir’s parents were completely clueless about why I was leaving town when I had a plan of staying for a couple of days. I left Kabir to find an alibi for me to convince them.

  Later, right at the stroke of midday I left for the bus depot and boarded the bus. I took my seat and reclined into it, shuffling up songs on my iPod and thinking of everything that was happening. I had already started missing Tanya. She had kind of become my drug for we almost spent an eternal time together at college. A couple of days that went without seeing her meant I would get all frustrated and annoyed at every little thing! The volume of the iPod was full up for it was always better listening music rather than to the swears being hurled at the everything in the world by the uncles in the seats around you. The bus was scheduled to leave at 1.30 and it was already 1.15 which meant 15 minutes of wait and I would have fulfilled what Tanya’s dad wanted from me.

  “What would Kushal say? How would uncle react? How would we finally end up being? Is this the end? Was that the last time I ever saw Tanya? Was this the last time I was ever with her?” a number of questions loomed in my head but what was to happen no one had even a single clue. All these thoughts kept troubling me while I patiently waited for the bus driver to press the accelerator to leave.

  Through the music of my iPod I heard a shrill voice which, given the intensity of the volume of the music playing, could be termed nothing less than a shout. I looked around in the bus but there was no one so I blamed it on my ears. May be the emotions were taking a toll on me now! I was thinking a lot too much and hence apart from imagining things I had started hearing some too. I turned the volume back up and settled in my rather uncomfortable seat trying to search for the spot of maximum relaxation. It is at such situations that the minutes watch appears to be moving slower than the seconds one!

  After a minute or so a couple of people entered the bus. I didn’t care for what I wanted was the bus to begin the journey. I still couldn’t understand what went wrong and why we ended up in such a situation that I had to actually run away from the place!

  Then a group of 4 men entered the bus and again I didn’t pay much heed to them but just gave them a glance which is one of the most normal human reactions, taking a look at the person whosoever it is, when he or she enters the room! As soon as I looked up, they were already moving swiftly in the little bit space they had searching for something and then one of them saw me as our eyes met. He eyed me for a couple of seconds before saying something to the rest and pointed straight at me. The person looked familiar but I just couldn’t remember where I saw him. I was a little baffled with what had conspired. I unplugged my ear phones to see who was sitting behind me but there was no one which meant I obviously was the one he was pointing to.

  “Are you Vishal?” One of them asked me as the four of them stood right in front of me cornering me on my seat.

  “Yes I am.” I said politely. They sure weren’t there to greet me or to give me a farewell.

  “Get him.” One of them said as they started dragging me from my seat to take me out of the bus. I resisted but it wasn’t of any use, it was impossible for me to overcome the strength of four men.

  “What have I done?” I cried as they dragged me out of the bus.

  “We will tell you sonovabitch what the fuck you have done. Wait a while and you will understand everything you piece of filthy crap.” One of them said.

  I lay flat on the ground. It did strike me that they were most probably his men but then I was still a couple of hours from my deadline of leaving the town.

  All I could see from where I lay was the four of them surrounding me and a couple more coming closer with baseball bats in their hands. I was sure in for a treat on this one. I had understood that there was no point sitting back and waiting for them to give me a good beating. I summoned all my strength to stand up and as soon as I did they all started off with their bashing. They were using everything that they could understand, the bat, hand, feet, practically everything. I too didn’t hold back anymore I threw in a lot of punches, some hit them and some didn’t. Luckily I did get hold of one of the bats and was able to hold it tight. I didn’t see left or right anymore and kept swinging it from right to left, left to right, in any direction I could find any sort of space. Offense is the best defense and this was the moment when I had put the said thing into action! The next thing I remember, I woke up in a room with white walls and the smell of medicines all over the place and a funny taste in my mouth arguably because of the drip which meant I was in a hospital but in which area of the world, I didn’t really know. If I were in Dehradun I was in a lot of trouble for sure. My head hurt so did my hands, my feet, my back, it was as if those bastards didn’t leave without giving a blow to all the 206 bones. I could barely open my eyes. At first, the light that entered the eyes hurt till I got immune to it. I tried to look around and figure out which area I was in.

  “He is awake. Nurse, call the doctor.” I heard a familiar voice saying the words which echoed back from the walls.

  “Thank God you are alright.” It was Simran. She came up to me and touched my right arm.

  I shrieked. It was a light touch yet it hurt harder than it did when the bastards were smashing me with the baseball bats.

  “Oh I am sorry.” Simran said.

  “It’s alright.” I said barely able to speak.

  Soon mom came in along with the dad and the treating doctor and hence began the classic Indian family drama.