Let it Snow

by Suzan Butler, Emily Ryan-Davis, Cari Quinn, Vivienne Westlake, Sadie Haller, Holley Trent

  "Seriously? Done this to her? What about what you've done to us? We're going to crash and burn out there."

  "You can't tell me that she wasn't perfection itself, so what's really got your boxers in a braid?"

  "I admit it, she played beautifully. Pitch perfect, and not a note out of place. But she needs drugs to play. I can't deal with that."

  "No, she doesn't need drugs to play. She needs prescription medication to perform. She was fine when we first started university, but as the music became more difficult, and the performance requirements more demanding, she developed anxiety so unmanageable, we couldn't get her on stage. She could get to the wings, but then she'd just sink to the floor and shake. She hates performing because she hates taking beta-blockers. I doubt you're going to believe me, but I'll say it anyway, Mac does not require medication for anxiety outside of performance situations. So, do me a favour, try to put aside your own issues, and accept that she's willing to put aside hers to help us out. Oh, and for the record, the only way she's going to make you crash and burn, is if she changes her mind about playing. It seems to me, you are the only one who is likely to make that happen."

  "Way to make me feel like even more of an asshole."

  "Oh shit, what did you do?"

  "I was angry. I'm still angry, but I was angry and I took it out on her."

  "Way to go, Finn."

  "Well, a heads up before she showed at my door declaring herself as your submissive might have been helpful."

  "Back up. What do you mean, declaring herself as my submissive?"

  "I opened the door, and she said, 'I'm Mac, I'm Sully's sub.' Fuck, man, I thought she was yet another in your impressive collection of ditzy subs and she'd got the day of the play party wrong."

  "Ow, ow, fucking ow. Fuck, don't make me laugh, please don't tell me any more. At least not until I am under the full effects of really good pain meds. Seriously, you thought I would have a sub of mine show up to a play party alone?"

  "It didn't seem like you, but with such a restricted guest-list, I wasn't sure.

  "Now you can be sure. There is no way I would let a sub show up anywhere to play without me."

  "A little late, but good to know. I guess I really have some sucking up to do."

  "Yup. And because I like you, I'm going to give you some helpful tips."

  ***

  Mac called Sully as soon as she got home. "I'm so feckin' mad at you, I could break every single reed you have and leave you with nothing but commercial student reeds to perform on."

  "I'm sorry, Mac. I fucked up. I get it. Now stop busting my balls and tell me how it went."

  "Great. Between your buddy mistaking me for one of your bondage-bunnies and accusing me of being a drug addict, my evening was complete."

  "Okay, you've made your point, things aren't exactly smooth between you and Finn, but personal friction aside, how did rehearsal go?"

  "It went fine. Fortunately, they're doing something I've played before, even if it was forever ago. Thank fuck I didn't have to sight-read."

  "I knew it'd work out. There's another rehearsal tomorrow night, right?"

  "Yeah. I'm struggling on whether to take blockers this time. Tonight was a no-brainer, but I hate taking them unless I absolutely have to."

  "Why don't you hold off, but have them with you so you can take one if you find you need it. Maybe just knowing they're there will be enough for you to manage without."

  "Yeah, I guess I could do that, but if I do end up needing them, I don't want to waste everyone else's time while I wait for them to take effect."

  "I wouldn't worry. They are concert-ready, and they'll be happy enough with a little extra gossip time while your meds kick in. Are you okay, now?"

  "Yeah, I'm calmer, and a little less angry with you, but that doesn't let you off the hook. You are into me for two, count 'em, two favours to be named later."

  "Yeah, yeah, I know, and I'm sure you'll take every opportunity to remind me."

  "Of course I will. Right, I'm going to bed now. I'm wiped. Good night. I hope your ribs start to feel better really soon."

  "Thanks. G'night, Mac."

  ***

  Mac stared into the dark as she stroked her cat, Gounod. He was settled in his usual spot, full length between her legs with his head and front paw resting on her upper thigh. She'd tried every technique for falling asleep she could think of, but her mind would not shut off. She kept thinking back to Finn, and wondered how she could possibly be attracted to such an asshole?

  It's not like he comes across as the sexy bad-boy type, either. He may believe otherwise, but he's just an asshole, plain and simple. He accused her of being a drug addict and treated her like she was some skid-row junkie. That alone should have killed all feeling in her girly-bits. Nothing turned her off faster than humiliation, but damn, if this guy didn't seem to work some kind of hoo-hoo voodoo.

  And with that thought, her pussy was swollen and needy, and she wasted no time giving in to its demand. Gounod growled his outrage as she shifted him out of her way. Mac rolled her eyes and laughed. "Suck it up you big baby, you can come back later when I'm done taking care of the other pussy in my life." She reached into the drawer of her bedside table for her Rabbit. She slid it into her eager cunt and flipped the switch to nirvana. Three orgasms later, she drifted into a fitful sleep.

  ***

  Finn stood in the shower and let the spray envelop him like a warm blanket as he thought back through his evening. Damn she was cute. Even standing at full height, her mop of dark, curly hair would barely skim the bottom of his chin. He first noticed her soulful eyes, but it was that sassy mouth of hers that was going to get him into trouble.

  The little head sure didn't care if she was a druggie. From the moment he'd opened the door, his cock was fully present and accounted for. Thank fuck he'd gone for the tighty-whities and loose fitting trousers. The last thing he needed was the rest of the guys riding him over a tent-pole in his pants.

  Finn fisted his erection and stroked it from root to tip as he imagined Mac's luscious pink lips wrapped around him. Taking him deep, swallowing him whole. His breathing increased, his heart pounded. After sporting an erection for hours, the image of Mac on her knees and his cock down her throat had him exploding with a speed he hadn't experienced since he'd watched his first porn film as a teenager.

  Once he'd finally made it to bed, Finn carefully considered each of Sully's suggestions for fixing things with Mac.

  Chapter Two

  Mac checked the caller ID and groaned before answering. "Hello?"

  "Mac, hi, it's Finn."

  Mac tried to keep the wariness from her voice as she responded. "Yes?"

  "I was wondering if you could come over a little early tonight?"

  "Why?"

  "You said if I had any ideas on how to keep you from needing beta-blockers, you were all ears."

  "I am all ears, and you have one of them right now, so, how about you tell me what you have in mind."

  "I'd rather talk in person. You'll be coming over anyway, so, unless you have other plans you can't reschedule, what can it hurt? I was thinking you could join me for dinner. It would be refreshing to cook for more than just myself."

  Mac didn't bother to hide her irritation. "Look Finn, you don't approve of me, and I don't like you. I'm doing a favour for a friend, and that's as far as it goes. I appreciate that you've been giving thought to an alternative way to deal with my performance anxiety, but as far as I know, I've tried it all, and the reality is, I don't trust you. You have a hang-up. That's not my problem."

  "Mac, I'm sorry I've given you reason not to trust that I'm working in your best interests, but maybe you could try trusting that I'm working in mine, and my hang-up could provide you with an alternative to medication."

  "No. I'll be there and ready to play by seven. That is the extent of my obligation to Sully, and by extension, to you. I have a busy day ahead, so if
there is nothing else?"

  "No, I don't think so."

  "Fine, then I'll see you this evening, goodbye"

  "Bye."

  ***

  Mac opened the text without checking who sent it.

  'Open your front door.'

  A quick look at her inbox confirmed it was from Sully. What was he up to? She opened the door to a small basket of goodies from her favourite chocolate shop and smiled. She picked up the basket and brought it inside, feeling no urgency to read the card. Experience told her Sully was sorry, and chocolate consumption always took priority.

  She ripped the cellophane from the basket and sorted the chocolates in order of preference. As usual, she started with her least favourites, and finished with the ones she liked best. She popped the first chocolate into her mouth before grabbing the envelope and removing the card it contained. As she read, the confection turned to mud in her mouth and she promptly spit it into the discarded wrapping. She grabbed her phone and punched in Sully's number.

  "You rat-bastard. You feckin', sneaky, wasted sper—"

  "Hold on, Mac. Just hear me out, okay? Please?" Sully took advantage of the brief silence and continued. "Finn fucked up. He knows he fucked up, and he's just looking for a chance to make it as right as possible. I feel partially responsible for this mess, so I need to do what I can to help fix it."

  "Deceiving me is not how you fix things, Sully. You sent that text. You deliberately led me to believe those chocolates were from you. How am I supposed to trust you when you'd do something like this?"

  "Yeah, I sent the text to ensure you would open the door. I should have known you would assume the package was from me, but I didn't deliberately mislead you. I'm sorry, sweetie. I hate the effect my lack of caution is having on you. Who'd have thought an afternoon skating date would have such crazy consequences."

  "Fucker."

  "Here's the thing, I think both you and Finn overreacted, and we need to get some kind of truce in place before tonight's rehearsal. I know you turned down supper at Finn's, but how about I order in and you two meet here, in somewhat neutral territory?"

  "You'll be there, too?"

  "Of course."

  Mac considered everything Sully'd said, and after being friends for so many years, she knew he would never do anything deliberately to jeopardise their relationship. Besides, with the demanding concert schedule ahead of her, the last thing she needed was tension between herself and a fellow musician. "Fine." Mac huffed. "I'll be there at five and there had better be Indian."

  "Great. I'll give Finn a call and I'll see you at five."

  Mac stabbed the end button and threw her phone on the sofa as she thought about what to do with the chocolates. The peevish part of her wanted to package them back up and return them to Finn, but the rest of her wanted to cue up a DVD and gorge herself on them while she worked on reeds. With a concert the following night, it would be a struggle to have performance-worthy reeds ready in time. Her love of chocolate won out, and she settled in for a reed-making marathon with her buddies, chocolate, and The Doctor.

  ***

  It was Finn who opened the door when Mac arrived at Sully's house. "Oh, hi. Um, thanks for the chocolates, I enjoyed them." Mac stepped inside, kicked off her shoes and hung her coat on a hook behind the door. "They're my favourites, but you already knew that."

  "Hi, yourself, and you're welcome." There was a twinkle in Finn's eyes as he asked, "Did you enjoy them all?"

  "Of course I did. I have virtually no self-control when it comes to good chocolate. No, to be perfectly honest, I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to chocolate of any kind."

  "Tell me that's not all you ate today."

  "Do you really want me to tell you that, or do you want me to tell you the truth."

  Finn flipped his gaze skyward and shook his head in disbelief. "Well, at least you'll be having a somewhat healthy supper before rehearsal. It arrived just a few minutes ago. How about you join Sully in the dining room and I'll bring the food through?"

  "Okay, but I don't mind giving you a hand."

  "No, no, you go ahead and get yourself settled at the table, I'll be in with the food in no time."

  Mac stepped into the dining room and greeted her friend. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

  "Well, I've certainly been better. How about you?"

  She leaned down and laid a gentle kiss on the top of Sully's head before settling herself in the chair to his right. "I've been better too, but at least all my ribs are intact."

  "Well, that's something, isn't it?"

  "Here we go." Finn set two dishes on the table. "Start serving yourselves and I'll be back with the rest."

  Mac picked up Sully's plate and started loading it. Noting his raised eyebrows, she admonished, "Don't you get any funny ideas, bucko. You know I'll never sub to you."

  "Yeah, but you'll sub for me." Sully shot her that lop-sided grin that other subs found irresistible.

  "Shut up, Sully. I have no idea why you keep trying with the grin. After more than a decade, you should acknowledge I'm immune, and give up."

  "True, but the optimist in me says that as long as we're both breathing, there's a chance."

  Finn placed the last of the food on the table and sat in the seat to Sully's left before dishing up his own meal.

  "I wouldn't call that optimism, Sully," Mac retorted, "I would call it not knowing when to quit."

  "Cheeky wench. You'd miss it if I didn't shoot you the Sully grin every once in a while."

  Mac's voice oozed sarcasm as she raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I admit it, my life would be devoid of meaning if I were to never again be the recipient of your knicker-dropping grin." She turned to Finn and asked, "Can you please pass the Naan?"

  Chapter Three

  Mac enjoyed the good-natured banter she shared with Sully while they ate, but once supper was done, Sully's voice turned serious.

  "All right you two. It's time to work out the issues and figure a way for you to get along. We all know my part in this mess, and the toll it's taken. The way I see it we only have one issue to address. Mac needing medication to control performance anxiety, and Finn's fanatical repugnance to any kind of drug dependency."

  "Hold on, Sully, I believe there are situations where medication is appropriate," Finn objected.

  Mac's voice dripped with disdain. "Oh, you mean like when a guy wants to fuck, and can't get it up?"

  "Mac, that's enough," Sully snapped. "Both of you, not one more word before I'm done.”

  With nods from both Finn and Mac, Sully continued, "Considering the situation, I am not going to maintain any confidences for either of you if I think they will help us come to an understanding. Agreed?" Sully looked at Mac and waited for her nod before turning to Finn for his.

  "Mac, Finn's wife died from a heroin overdose. She suffered from panic attacks. Her doctor prescribed medication, but it wasn't long before she started self-medicating and heroin became her drug of choice."

  Finn nodded at Sully and took over. "She was looking to numb out. The medication she was prescribed didn't do it for her, so she sought out drugs that would. By the time I'd clued in, she'd already worked her way up to heroin. I was so caught up in my career, I didn't notice things were so bad until it was too late. I thought I had convinced her to go to rehab, but before I could make arrangements, she'd overdosed. She was in her car when they found her body."

  "Holy shit. That's awful." Mac met Finn's gaze with tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

  Knowing what Sully was about to reveal about herself, Mac gave him a quick glance and said, "I've got this." She turned back to Finn and, after a big shaky breath, she began.

  "I didn't always suffer from performance anxiety. Well, I was always a little nervous before playing, but it was the kind of nervous that I think helped me give a little something extra that wasn't there at rehearsal."

  Sully stroked Mac's forearm and encouraged h
er to continue. "Deep breath, sweetie. You're doing fine. Better it comes from you. The more you talk about it, the smaller it gets. I promise."

  She didn't want to do this. Saying it out loud would bring it back and make it real. She much preferred to keep it safely in her back pocket where she could sit on it and squish it into something tiny and inconsequential.

  Mac sucked in another big breath and let it trickle through her clenched teeth. "I had just finished my final recital and my first gruelling year of university was over. I was in a practice room putting my gear away...I didn't hear the door open, I was so far in my head. After a performance, it takes hours before I mellow out. Anyway, I had just finished zipping up my case, when I was grabbed by the hair and my face was slammed into the wall. The next thing I knew, my mouth was taped shut, and I was strapped naked to the piano bench and being told with each agonising thrust that I had no business playing a flawless recital. That it should have been his. The next thing I remember was freaking out in the ambulance. I'll let Sully tell the rest. I only know his version, anyway."

  Sully continued to stroke Mac's arm. "Understanding Mac's need to decompress after a concert, I didn't go with her to pack up, but I was so pumped by her fabulous performance, I got impatient and went to look for her."

  Mac listened to Sully recount the part she was missing. She both loved and hated that she couldn't remember. She loved not having more horrible memories to live with, but hated having even the smallest part of her mind stolen by the actions of another.

  "I knew something was wrong when I saw the blind was down on the window of the practice room. Mac never, ever closed the blinds. I unlocked the door, and well, you know what I saw when I opened it.

  "The guy was another oboist in our studio. Mac's perfect performance took him out of contention for a scholarship that provided the winner with a new instrument, tuition and living expenses for the remaining three years. Attacking Mac was how he managed his disappointment."