Deserving You

by Amanda Siegrist

  “Would’ve been nice to have that belief without siccing Emmett on me.” Dare’s frown softened as he looked at Sophie. “I just wanted to say I didn’t do anything. Thank you for welcoming me into your home. You’re a sweet woman.”

  Sophie extracted her hands from Austin, ignoring the way his features fell as she did. “Of course. I hope you’ll come over still, but I get this feeling you’re not going to.”

  Dare nodded. “I’m hitting the road. Thanks again, Sophie.” He turned around.

  “Wait.” She grabbed his arm, surprising him, and herself. Men made her nervous. She’d gotten used to the McCord men, but strangers, it didn’t take much for her to break out in a sweat when they got near. Dare was still a stranger, regardless of the fact he was Deja’s brother. She only shook his hand when she first met him so she didn’t appear rude. “You can’t leave Deja. It’ll break her heart.”

  Dare covered her hand with his. “You can’t break something that’s already broken. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t hurt my sister any more than she’s hurting right now.”

  “Her heart…it’s not broken,” Sophie whispered. She knew that was a lie, though, as she stared into Dare’s eyes.

  “Yeah, it is. Emmett did exactly what she feared he’d do. It’s a good thing she kept her distance. It’s a good thing I’m leaving peacefully, because once I see her heartache for myself, I’m gonna want to hurt him within an inch of his life.” Dare let her hand go and started down the steps, turning slightly when he got to the bottom step. “He failed to realize something. You all did. Love isn’t saying it all the time. It’s showing it. It’s believing in it. Nobody’s ever believed in us.”

  Dare rubbed his jaw, almost as if he was debating his next words. Then he spoke. “A dog ran into the middle of the road the night I was driving. I was high. There’s no denying that. But they all swore that dog wasn’t real. Everyone. Nobody believed me. Except my sister. Not once did she hesitate about it. She even got into a fistfight at school when someone said I was a damn liar. That’s love. An innate ability to believe in that other person without thought. Emmett will never have her love because he doesn’t know how to do that.”

  Dare walked away. Sophie closed the door, unable to watch what way he was planning to go. She sincerely hoped he at least said goodbye to Deja before he disappeared. She’d check on Deja later. Right now, she was so full of different emotions, she wouldn’t be useful in any sort of conversation with her.

  “Sophie…”

  Her head snapped to Austin. She brushed a hand across his cheek. “Stop protecting my feelings. You should’ve told me right away about that conversation. I don’t want to be mad at you, but I can’t help it.”

  He grabbed her hand before she could pull away. “I’ll always protect you. No matter what. I didn’t tell you because…because thinking about it made me want to find Dare and tell him, “Yeah, man, teach him a lesson.” That’s horrible to even think about.”

  “No, it’s human. Dare has a point. I can see why he’s so upset nobody even gave him a chance.”

  “You don’t see our point as well. It’s a little strange that happened to Kevin after what he said.”

  “Maybe. You said karma bit you in the butt. Perhaps karma finally caught up with Kevin. Simple as that.”

  Austin squeezed her hand tighter when she tried to pull away. “Did karma bite me? It’s my fault that Deja’s mad at Emmett. I blurted it out in front of her when I should’ve talked to him alone. How mad are you at me?”

  A tear slid down. “I don’t want to be mad. I just want this…this weight holding me down to go away.”

  Austin didn’t hesitate. He scooped her into his arms and headed for the stairs. “Let me help with that, my pixie angel. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Austin.” And she did. With all of her heart. She couldn’t be mad at him for keeping what Dare said a secret. She might’ve been tempted herself to have Dare teach him a lesson. What would Austin say about that? What did that say about her?

  Of course, none of that mattered. Kevin was dead. Good riddance.

  The bedroom door swung closed.

  ♡

  “I thought you were supposed to keep the door locked.”

  Deja turned away from the sink and smiled at her brother. “That bastard is dead. No worries anymore. What are you doing here?”

  “How pissed are you at Emmett?”

  “He confronted you, huh? Well, that just upped my piss-o-meter to dangerous levels.”

  Dare chuckled as he walked closer to her and leaned against the counter in a nonchalant way. Yet, the tension slowly built within the room.

  “Thanks for always believing in me.”

  Deja dried her hands on a towel and then threw it at him with a smile. “You’re my brother. I’ll always believe in you.”

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Dare…”

  He put a hand up to stop her from begging him not to leave. And she would beg. She couldn’t lose her brother so soon after kicking Emmett out. They both knew what that meant. At least, Emmett should know. She wasn’t about to let him back in her house, in her heart, anytime soon after what he insinuated about her brother. Unacceptable. Nobody treated her brother that way.

  “I didn’t just up and run. I’m saying goodbye. Do I need to pound in Emmett’s face for you?”

  “What did they say to you?”

  He ran a hand threw his hair as his brows dipped. “It’s what they didn’t say. Why is it you’re always the only one to believe me? Just once, I’d like other people to give me that chance.”

  “Well, I guess with your record, paired with what you said, they just figured it to be true. They don’t know you like I do. You’re just a big teddy bear. So big and lovable.”

  “A teddy bear? You’re comparing me to a fluffy stuffed animal.” He rolled his eyes as he laughed. “That’s one for the books.”

  “I want to come with you.”

  He glared at her with a stern I’m-not-your-father-but-I’m-acting-like-one look. “You have a good life here. A home. A job. Friends. I don’t even know where I’m going. Where I’m going to work. I’ll probably bunk down in St. Cloud somewhere. I can’t go too far from my parole officer. It’s not like I’m leaving for good. I’m just leaving this rinky dink ass town.”

  “This is a house I rent. It’s not a home. I have no job because I refuse to work with Emmett anymore. The only real friend I have is Sophie. We’re a team. We always have been. Where are we going, partner?”

  He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe everything she just said. “Where do you wanna go, D?”

  She shrugged as a smile crossed her face. “Wherever the adventure takes us, I guess.”

  “About Emmett—”

  “We’re not talking about him. Ever. I should’ve figured he would think the worst about you. You guys never got along when you first met. I can’t be with someone who’s going to treat you that way. You’re my family, and family always comes first. No exceptions. How could a guy like that love someone like me anyway?”

  Dare took two steps and pulled her into a hug. A big bear hug. “That’s simple. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. Any guy would love you. It’s his loss. I’m sorry it got screwed up between you two because of me. I’m sorry I act like a jackass half the time.”

  “Me, too.”

  Dare let her go with a laugh. “Hey, you’re supposed to say there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

  She poked him in the chest. “You do act like a jackass sometimes. But I love you. You did nothing wrong. Emmett and I were never going to work out. We were doomed to fail from the beginning.”

  He snaked an arm around her shoulder and ruffled her hair. “Love you, too, sis.”

  “Don’t.” She shoved him off. “Let me go pack.”

  “You’re okay leaving right away?”

  “No time like the present. I do have to say goodbye to Sophie. Other than that, there’s nothing left for m
e here.”

  And what was left, she didn’t want. The memories of Emmett consumed each room. She couldn’t walk anywhere in the house without picturing his face. Now, with how it ended, picturing his face would hurt like a knife to the heart each time. She couldn’t live like that. Didn’t even want to try. Moving on from him was already going to be difficult. Why make it harder on herself?

  Part of her wanted to forget what happened today. Rewind the entire night to the moment they were laughing and eating pizza and he made her feel like he honestly cared. She couldn’t do that. If Emmett couldn’t understand how much Dare meant to her, or believe that he was a good guy, then she couldn’t be with him. Because in her mind, believing Dare would do something horrible like that, meant he believed she was just as horrible. That didn’t say he loved her at all.

  Here she thought all this time she didn’t deserve someone great like Emmett. Truth was he didn’t deserve someone like her. She was loyal. She knew true love. She would never turn her back on her brother. Emmett’s doubt in him told her he wouldn’t hesitate to turn his back on her.

  That left her with only one choice. Leaving with Dare. She couldn’t look Emmett in the eyes again. She was afraid of what she’d see.

  Because she didn’t think she’d see the love he always talked about.

  Well, she could be glad about one thing. She never caved in to the impulse to ask for the ring back. Or said I love you. Even though she did. She loved Emmett with her whole heart. Too bad he didn’t love her the same way.

  Chapter 17

  His hand froze in midair. He didn’t want to admit he was almost afraid to find out what happened. Almost. But he needed to know. He didn’t sleep well last night, tossing and turning, reaching for the woman he loved, his hand meeting nothing but the coldness of the bed.

  Deja was pissed. Beyond pissed. She didn’t answer any of his phone calls last night. He called three times. After the third time, he nearly got in his truck and drove to her house, then decided against it. A little time to cool off would be good for her. For them.

  It wasn’t unreasonable to think Dare had something to do with Kevin’s death. He said as much a few weeks ago that he’d teach him a lesson. He also said he wouldn’t kill the guy. That right there should’ve told him that Dare had nothing to do with it. He honestly believed Dare wouldn’t do something so dumb that would land him back in prison.

  But maybe he didn’t know his friends would go that far. Maybe he didn’t realize how dangerous his friends were.

  No. Dare left. He was pissed they didn’t believe him. He didn’t confirm with words that he had nothing to do with it. His actions, him leaving, said it all. Dare had nothing to do with it. Now, here he was, trying to do some damage control. Except he couldn’t find Deja.

  This morning, he went to the office first. The darkness that hit his eyes told him right away that something wasn’t right. That he screwed up more than he could’ve ever imagined. Deja didn’t even come into work. She always showed up. Even the time he pissed her off when her brother was first released from prison, she showed up to work. Not today. That scared him more than he cared to admit.

  So he knocked on her door. No answer. The door was locked. The lights were off inside. All he heard when he pressed his ear to the door was silence.

  She wasn’t home either.

  Where did she go?

  Sophie would know. He just couldn’t find the nerve to knock on her door and find out. Deja left. That’s what happened. She left without saying a word to him. That’s how badly he screwed up. If he didn’t ask Sophie, then he could pretend his whole life wasn’t crumbling down around him.

  The door swung open. He jerked back.

  Austin frowned as he jumped a little himself. “What are you doing? You scared the shit out of me, Emmett.”

  “Just trying to find the nerve to knock.”

  “Why?”

  “I can’t find Deja.”

  Austin glanced down at his feet. That didn’t bode well for him. That confirmed everything Emmett feared. She did leave. Without a word goodbye.

  “Where is she?”

  Austin shrugged as he looked at him. “I have no idea. She left last night. She said she was leaving with Dare and nothing Sophie said changed her mind. With what happened with Kevin, added in with Deja leaving, Sophie had a rough night and morning. That’s why I’m so late getting to the farm. Zane told me not to worry about anything, but Sophie’s finally kicking me out of the house. She claims she’s fine now. Of course, I don’t believe her, but I thought maybe she just wanted some time alone.”

  “Does Sophie know what…” Emmett couldn’t even finish speaking. He was wrong. They were all wrong for doubting Dare right away. Now look what happened. He lost the woman he loved.

  “Dare stopped by before Deja did. I was kinda forced to tell her. Surprisingly, she wasn’t too pissed at me. She also didn’t doubt Dare. Not like we did. I believe him. I guess it was just coincidence.”

  “If I would’ve known Deja was going to leave, I would’ve never stayed away. I need to talk to her. Are you sure Sophie doesn’t know where she went?”

  Austin stepped to the side as Sophie lightly pushed him. A small white envelope was pinched between her fingertips. “She wanted you to have this, Emmett. I know you tried your hardest to get behind the walls she built. I don’t know where she went, and frankly, I’m not sure I’d tell you if I did know. Dare is everything to her. Doubting him was probably one of the worst things you could’ve ever done.”

  Sophie didn’t mince her words. They were words he already knew. He screwed up colossally when he voiced his doubt. He nailed the coffin shut when he confronted Dare without thinking about it. The envelope felt like lead in his hand. He didn’t know if he could read what she wrote.

  “Are you mad at me, Sophie?” Emmett knew he sounded like a lost little child. That’s what he felt like at the moment. He lost so much, especially his heart, in less than twenty-four hours.

  “No. You didn’t do anything to me. I just feel sad. About everything. I feel like I lost my best friend. I’d like you to leave now, Emmett.” She pushed Austin gently. “You, too. Go to the farm. I’ll be fine.”

  Austin grabbed a quick kiss before Sophie basically slammed the door in their faces.

  “What just happened?”

  Shrugging, Austin slowly made his way down the porch steps. “I got kicked out of my house. You got booted by Sophie, which I thought I’d never see, and you have a letter to read.”

  Emmett’s hand felt hot, as if the letter was burning a hole right through his skin. “I’m not sure I can read it. She left.” He squeezed the letter so tightly it crumbled in his hand. “She left without saying a word.”

  “She didn’t even glance my way last night either. Sophie was pretty shaken up about it all, but she understands and respects Deja’s decision. It’s not like they’ll never see each other again.”

  “And me? Will I ever see her again?”

  The look on Austin’s face didn’t give him much hope. “Don’t know, man. I hope so. Read the letter. Maybe it’s not that bad. I have to get to the farm.”

  Emmett said goodbye and dragged his feet as he walked to his truck. Slamming the door shut, he suddenly felt confined. The air in the truck felt thick. Laden with guilt. With regret. He handled everything all wrong yesterday. He knew how Deja felt about Dare. He should’ve been more sensitive about the issue. Way more supportive than he acted.

  “Damn it!” He shook his hand as the aftereffects from slamming it against the steering wheel vibrated from the tips of his fingers up through his arm.

  Taking the crumbled up envelope, he tore it open. Smoothing out the paper, the words blurred at first.

  Emmett,

  You can consider this my resignation. I’m sorry for leaving you in the lurch without two weeks notice, but I think it’s best we cut ties right away. You know it’s best so don’t even think about arguing the point. I’m not mad. You pro
bably just laughed at that, but it’s not a lie. I’m more sad. It’s actually hard to put into words how I really feel. What I do know is we were never meant to be. I had fun. That’s about all it was. There wasn’t love or happily ever after meant for us. I think you know that. You’re a great guy, just not the one for me. Thanks for the good time. Best of luck finding another secretary. I am sorry about that, but there isn’t much I can do about it. I will

  Deja

  What a load of shit! Every single word. She honestly expected him to believe this. Never. He didn’t believe one word. The part she crossed out at the end. What was she going to write? He was dying to know.

  The way she ended it so abruptly. Just a simple signing of her name. No farewell. No, I’ll miss you. No, I’ll think of you. No, call me. No, I’ll pick up the phone if you call. Nothing. Just—Deja.

  The sound of crinkling filled the truck as he squished the paper into a tiny ball and threw it to the floor.

  “Bullshit. You don’t mean a word of it.”

  She was scared. Plain and simple. She loved him. He knew this. He felt it every time she looked at him with her bright blue eyes. They shined with love. He felt it every time she touched him. He felt it every time she cradled her sweet body to his, whether in the bed or on the couch.

  If she thought he was going to give up just like that because of some lame ass letter, she was wrong. They were far from over. She wanted to dump him, which she did via a crappy letter, then she’d do it to his face. He’d make her tell him to his face that he was nothing but a good time for her. He’d like to see that happen.

  Because it wouldn’t. She wouldn’t have the guts to say that to his face. Because everything she wrote was a lie.

  Now the great question was where would he find her? That might be a little hard to figure out. He didn’t have a clue where to begin. Not one.