Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

by Mercy Amare

  When I walk downstairs, I can tell Alec is about to tell me, “I told you so.” But then he sees the evil glare I'm giving him, and he quickly shuts his mouth. I smile. Good decision, Alec. I’m definitely in a bitchy mood today, and I am not to be messed with.

  The doorbell rings, and Alec goes to answer it. I sit down at the bar beside Stephan and Bridgett. As always, my amazing sister has a cup of coffee waiting for me.

  “I love you,” I tell her, as I take a drink of the heavenly-tasting coffee.

  Alec comes back into the kitchen followed by six guys. Four of them are holding cameras, and one has a boom microphone. The last guy has a clipboard. It feels like a definite overkill, but what do I know.

  First, I am introduced to the director. Peter. (Or at least, I think that was his name). He explains everything to me in great detail. They are going to follow me everywhere. They are even going to attach a camera to the dashboard of my car. They want to capture every moment of my life that they can. They need thirteen hours of good footage. Hopefully it won’t take them too long to get it.

  “Why does this feel more like a reality show than a documentary?” I ask Alec, as they wire a microphone to my body. I’m going to have to watch everything I say.

  “It's not really a documentary of your whole life. It's just a documentary of like three months of your life,” he explains. “And if it goes over like they think it will, they will do it again in six months.”

  “Which is what a reality show is.” I roll my eyes.

  Alec just shrugs and gives me his thousand-watt smile. He forgets that I am immune to its powers.

  “This conversation is not over,” I warn.

  9:03 AM

  Disney

  After they wire Stephan and me, we are off to school. We get there an hour late, and I arrive just in time for history. I slip into the desk beside Ethan.

  I look back at the camera crew, which is still recording while I'm in class.

  “Really?” I ask. “You're going to record this?”

  They nod, and I turn back around to Ethan. “S’up?” he asks.

  I just shake my head. “Oh, you know... just my life being exposed to millions of people on MTV. Could it be any lamer? I think not.”

  Ethan shrugs. “At least it isn't the Disney Channel.”

  I giggle loudly. Everybody turns around to look at me. “Sorry,” I say, and then turn to Ethan. “You are seriously awesome.”

  And just like that, my morning is turned around. I can almost forget about the camera pointing straight at me. ALMOST. I love having great friends.

  “So how was your weekend in Paris?” Ethan whispers.

  “It was... the hardest thing I've ever had to do.”

  Ethan looks at me sympathetically. “You know, my mom wasn't that great of a mom either, so I know how you feel.”

  “Where is your mom?” I wonder. I haven't asked before, but I haven't ever seen her around. I always just think of Stephan's mom as his mom.

  “She died.” I can hear the sadness in his voice. “She purposefully overdosed on drugs.”

  “Oh my God,” I shake my head sadly. “Ethan, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.”

  My mind goes back to when we were studying in his room... The joke I made about “killing myself” over math... No wonder he got so upset. I am an awful friend.

  “She was selfish, but whatever. She was a terrible mom anyway.” I can tell he’s trying to act tough, but it has obviously affected him more than he lets on.

  “How long ago was it?” I ask.

  “It was ten years ago,” he explains. “She was depressed. I can't remember her ever being truly happy. She spent her last year alive in a psychiatric hospital. She pretended to take her pills and saved them for two months. One night, she took all of them at once. They found her dead the next morning.”

  My chest hurt for him.

  “She didn't even say goodbye.” His voice is almost bitter. “I guess we all have pretty screwed up parents.”

  I nod in agreement. “At least you have a good dad.”

  He shrugs. “My dad isn't really around much. I think he blames me for my mom. But Stephan's mom isn't so bad. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a mom. I’m thankful for her and Stephan. I feel like I have a real family with them.”

  “Why would your dad blame you for your mom's mental illness?” I shake my head. “I'm sure he doesn't.”

  Ethan doesn't look convinced. “My mom wasn't sick until after she had me. She had like... postpartum depression or something, and it just never went away.”

  “Still, it's not your fault. I'm sure he knows that.”

  He just shrugs, and I wonder if he really does think it's his fault.

  Poor Ethan.

  12:01 PM

  Five minutes of fame

  At lunch, Ethan goes to sit with Mona and all her friends, and I sit with Stephan. Stephan doesn't really have a lot of friends at this school... Well, neither do I for that matter. I haven't really tried that hard, though.

  “So where do all of your racing friends live?” I ask Stephan.

  “Mostly on the east side of town,” he answers. “So they don't go to school here.”

  “It must suck to go to a different school than them.”

  “Not really. Everybody here hates me. If they went here, they wouldn't be an exception,” he says easily. “I don't mind anyway. High school will soon be a distant memory. Friends that I had here won't matter anymore.”

  Somebody takes a seat beside me. “Hey, Scarlett.”

  I look over to see Mona.

  “Are you kidding me?” Stephan gets up and storms away. One of the cameras follows him, and the other three are on Mona and me.

  “What do you want?” I ask flatly. I am so sick of dealing with her and her drama. I can only imagine how bad it’s been for Stephan.

  She flashes me a smile, and I realize why she's here. She's here for the camera. “I just wanted to say hi. We've missed you.”

  I roll my eyes. “I highly doubt that.”

  “Oh, come on, Scarlett.” She reaches out and touches my arm like we're good friends. “Just because Stephan and I don't get along doesn't mean that you and I can't be friends.”

  “Actually, that is exactly what it means,” I counter. “Are you forgetting the fact that you've made high school hell for him?”

  “High school is hell for everybody.” She waves me off.

  I can't deny what she's saying, because it's true. Why I wanted to put myself through this torture, I will never remember. But now that I'm here, I can't give up. No matter how badly I want to.

  “Look, I get that you want your five minutes of fame, or whatever, but we are never going to be friends. EVER. Not unless you can somehow fix this stupid hate relationship you have with Stephan.” I too get up from the table and am about to storm off dramatically. (Because, let's face it, I'm DRAMATIC). But Mona stops me.

  “Wait,” she says.

  I think about ignoring her, but instead turn toward her.

  “I'm sorry.”

  She looks very convincing. But then I remember what Stephan said about her being an amazing actress. I just shake my head. “I am not the one you should apologize to, and you know it.” I turn back around.

  “There's another reason why I don't like Stephan,” she blurts out.

  I turn back around. “I'm listening.”

  She shakes her head. “Not here.”

  Damn my curiosity.

  “Come for a ride?” I ask.

  She nods.

  Mona follows me, along with the cameras, to the parking lot. Thankfully I'm driving my Sesto Elemento, so they can't come with us... Though, I suspect the dash cameras are recording.

  In weird ways, Mona reminds me of Stephan. They don't really look alike, besides their green eyes, but their actions are alike. Part of me even likes her. (That part that likes her is very small). I mean she's still a total bitch for how she treats Stephan.

  I
roll my eyes when I see the camera crew following behind us in their creepy black van.

  “I see now that fame could be a pain,” she says, sympathetically. “It must suck to never have privacy.”

  “I have to be careful. Everywhere I go there is always somebody taking pictures. Trust me when I say, the paparazzi is great at getting embarrassing pictures. It’s the ugly pictures they like to post online.”

  “What do you do if you have a wedgie?”

  Mona's question is so serious that I can't help but laugh. She too joins in.

  “I wear a lot of thongs,” I finally answer. “But I suppose I would just go to the bathroom. I mean, what do you do when you have a wedgie?”

  She smiles, sheepishly. “I have my friends stand around me, and I pick it.”

  I start laughing hard again. Seriously, even though Mona is a complete bitch, she's kind of awesome. I can see why she has so many friends. She's rather charming. If she would just move past the whole Stephan thing, I could easily be her friend.

  “So where do you want to have this conversation?” I ask her.

  “Coffee?” she suggests.

  “Sure. Let's go to my house. My sister makes the best coffee.”

  12:34 PM

  Thank you, Alec.

  When we pull into my house, Mona sits up a little.

  “You live next to Stephan and Ethan?”

  “Yeah. It was annoying at first, but now I find it rather convenient.”

  We both get out of my car and walk inside. The cameras follow closely behind. As much as I try to ignore them, I can't.

  “Have you met Bridgett?” I ask her. I know she did at her beach party, but I think everybody thought Bridgett was me that night.

  She shakes her head.

  I pull out my phone to text Bridgett.

  Where are you? - S

  With Alec. We got you some studio time for tonight. - B

  “Well, she's not here,” I say. “Guess you'll meet her later.”

  Mona follows me into the kitchen, and for the first time since moving here, I open the fridge. I see a 24 pack of Red Bull inside.

  Thank you, Alec... He's also addicted to the energy drink. I grab one for myself, and hold one out for Mona.

  “Thanks,” she says, taking it.

  I take her outside by the pool. I haven't gotten a spray tan in way too long, and I am starting to get pasty white. “So,” I say, taking a seat on a pool chair, “you were about to tell me why you hate Stephan.”

  Mona looks up at the cameras. “Do they have to record this?”

  I look at the director. “Yes. And you already signed a waiver.”

  She sighs. “I don't think I should tell you on camera, Scarlett. It's kind of personal.”

  My curiosity gets the best of me, so I grab her hand, and pull her behind me. As we are running through the house, I am tearing off my microphone. I push her inside the guest bathroom on the second floor, and lock the door behind us.

  I hear the door jiggle and hear Peter curse.

  My phone goes off again. It's Alec.

  Why the HELL did you lock Peter out? - A

  I ignore the text, and turn to Mona. She looks like she's about to break out in tears at any moment. She reaches inside her purse and hands me an envelope. The outside it addressed to Mona.

  “Read it,” she demands.

  I pull the letter out and start reading.

  Mona,

  If you're reading this, it means that I am no longer in this world. I am sorry that I left you so early in life. I'm sorry that I will never be there to see you graduate. I'm sorry I won't be at your wedding. I'm sorry I won't see the birth of my grandchildren. But, most of all, I'm sorry that I never got the chance to tell you the truth in person. I had plans on telling you after you turned 18. But really, there is NO good time to tell you.

  I am in love with another man who is not your father. His name is Steven Montgomery, and he is the true love of my life. But Steven is married to another woman, and I knew he would never leave her for me, so I married your father. Your father is a good man. He loves me, and he has been so good to you.

  The truth is, Steven Montgomery is your real father. You see your father couldn't have children. It was such a surprise to him when I got pregnant. But I wasn't surprised. I knew the truth.

  I told Steven. I begged him to leave his wife and marry me, but his wife was also pregnant. He wouldn't leave her, and he knew that my husband would take care of us. So I lied to your dad. Even now, he doesn't know the truth. You can tell him if that is what you want, but I leave it up to you, Mona.

  I tried to break it off with Steven, but I couldn't. Every time I looked in your eyes, I saw him. I missed him. So we have been seeing each other in secret.

  This must seem silly to you, but what Steven and I have is REAL, TRUE love. I hope one day you can experience a love like ours. I only hope that your love doesn't have to be kept a secret.

  Know that I love you forever.

  —Mom

  As I hand the letter back to Mona, I realize that my hands are shaking.

  “Stephan is your brother.” As the words leave my mouth, I can hardly believe them.

  She nods, as a tear starts to escape her eyes.

  “Have you told your father?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “I'm afraid he won't love me anymore if I tell him,” she whispers.

  “How long have you known?”

  “Three and a half years.” Her voice quivers as she tells me.

  Suddenly, I feel mad at her mom. She should not have put this burden on Mona... She was only fourteen when her mom died. That's way too young to carry it alone.

  “I'm sorry.”

  After reading this letter, I feel like I understand Mona better. I do see why she hates Stephan. In her mind, he is just a representation of everything that is screwed up in her life. She feels like she’s continuing the lie by not telling her father, yet she’s scared to tell him. Maybe he wouldn’t love her anymore if he knew the truth.

  “But you know,” I continue. “It's not Stephan's fault. And if you gave him a chance, he would love you, Mona. You're his sister. How could he not love you?”

  “I've been so mean to him.” I can hear repentance in her voice.

  “He would understand why. If you just showed him this letter, and you apologized...”

  She cuts me off. “NO! I will NEVER tell him.”

  With that she walks out of the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

  Crap.

  Now what am I supposed to do?

  3:01 PM

  Lies

  I spend the rest of the afternoon getting chewed out by my director, Peter. Once he wires me back up, he explains how important it was to catch everything that goes on. I pretend that what Mona told me isn't a big deal, and I apologize profoundly. He seems to buy it. Once they wire my microphone back on, I go back to school to pick up Stephan.

  When Stephan gets into the car, I immediately feel awkward. I know this mind-blowing secret about him, yet I can't say a word. I want to, but it's not my place to — it's Mona's.

  “Are you okay?” he asks me.

  “I'm fine,” I manage to choke out… Crap, I've got to do better than that. “I just wasn't feeling well, so I left after lunch.”

  “Oh no. I hope you're not getting sick.” He's concerned, and I officially feel like the worst girlfriend ever.

  “Nothing a nap couldn't fix.” I lie so easily, that it scares me. I hate lying.

  Why did Mona have to put me in this situation? She doesn’t even know me. Why would she trust me with this huge secret?

  Maybe she wanted me to tell Stephan? I mean, why else would she tell ME. But then, after I read the letter, maybe she chickened out. If I told him, her whole life would change.

  BUT… maybe I could talk her into it. I am a pretty persuasive person. Though Stephan seems immune to my powers, maybe she is too... They are family.

  “You're really quiet
,” I barely hear Stephan say. “And you're driving the speed limit. Something is definitely wrong.”

  Well, maybe I'm not as good of a liar as I thought. “Um...” What do I say?

  My phone starts ringing. It's Alec. Oh, thank God.

  “Hello,” I answer, a little too cheerful.

  “I'm going to text you the address of the studio. Be prepared to work your ass off, and get here as soon as you can.”

  Alec doesn't give me a chance to respond. He just ends the call. Seconds later, I get a text from him with the address.

  “Do you want to go home or go to the studio with me?” I ask Stephan. “I'm probably going to be there all night, and it will probably get boring.”

  “No, I want to go. It sounds fun.” He seems excited.

  I laugh. “Okay.”

  “So why aren’t you recording at the studio in your basement?”

  “A lot goes into recording a professional album, but I don’t have the equipment needed for the best sound. My studio is more for my entertainment than anything else,” I explain.

  On the drive, I think about the first time I was in the studio recording. I was so excited. We were recording my album Jaded. After two weeks straight of eighteen hour days, it got old quick. But even now, after recording four albums, I still get excited the first few days. It’s when exhaustion sets in that it stops being fun.

  I can't help but dread school… At least when I was recording my other albums I didn't have to deal with schoolwork. This is without a doubt going to be a miserable few months.

  Maybe I can convince Bridgett to let me get a tutor and stay home from school.

  Probably not.

  They like “school drama” for my documentary. Or reality show. Whatever the hell it is.

  As I pull into the address that Alec gave me, I check the numbers on the building a couple of times.

  “This can't be it,” I tell Stephan. Then I see Alec walk outside and wave me in.

  What the f...

  “There is a studio inside this house?” I ask him, as I get closer. I am really beginning to question Alec's sanity.