The Waiting

by Carol James

  The metal chimes clanged incessantly as the mild breeze transformed into blustery winds, rustling the trees and bushes. Someplace close by, a storm was brewing. The winds had shoved the previous clouds over the horizon revealing thousands of stars—some mere pinpricks overhead. The sky was filled with more sparkling jewels than she could possibly count, more than human eyes could even see, and her Father knew each one by name. He was a God of plenty, of vast creativity beyond what she could ever understand or even imagine. He’d created her and knew her heart, her desires, her needs.

  And He knew her by name, too.

  ~*~

  Clouds had rushed back across the navy canopy above, obscuring the stars and sprinkling rain down upon her as she walked down the driveway to the curb. Tomorrow was garbage day. If she didn’t do it now, she might lose her nerve.

  Slowly she opened the garbage bin. Daddy was right. Waves or no waves, storm or no storm, it was time to step out onto the water and head toward a destination she could have never reached by staying within the security of the boat. Heart pounding, she laid the old notebook from middle school on the top of the black plastic bag and lowered the lid.

  She raised her face upward. The gentle drops were refreshing, cleansing, melting away the invisible chains that had held her captive all these years. Her heart was renewed, and she was free.

  Maybe in the storm, she’d find her peace.

  13

  Sam navigated around the trash container on the edge of the curb, pulled up the driveway, and parked about half way between the street and the house. The garage door was up, and her father’s car was gone. Good. One less excuse for her not to go with him on this well-planned, “impromptu” outing. He shifted the car into neutral and cut the engine. As he opened the driver’s side door, he grabbed Cassie’s water bottle from the passenger seat. That girl was his accomplice unaware. One of these days, if everything went as planned, he’d have to thank her.

  After pressing the doorbell, he jumped to the side of the porch, out of sight of the peephole in the door and flattened himself against the brick wall adjacent to the doorframe. The deadbolt shot back, and then the inner wooden door whooshed open followed by the creaking of the outer storm door. Katherine’s voice squeezed through the open sliver. “Good morning, Sam.”

  Oh, man. She wasn’t surprised at all. He stepped over in front of the door and spoke with mock anger. “What are you doing opening that door? It could have been some weirdo.” She looked amazing. Fresh-scrubbed face again. T-shirt and shorts. So pure and natural.

  She opened the door wider and focused her gaze over his shoulder. “You’ll have to be sneakier if you want to conceal your identity. Since James Bond doesn’t visit Crescent Bluff very often, there was only one other choice. The weirdo.” Her eyes sparkled as a smile lit her face.

  The car. He’d forgotten it was visible from the doorway. “Oh, yeah. What can I say? Weirdos are us.”

  “I like your water bottle. Pink’s a good color for you.” The corners of her mouth twitched slightly as her pursed lips hid a smile. Something about her was different. She seemed more relaxed than usual.

  “Funny.” Looping his finger through the strap, he held the bottle up. “I thought Cassie might need it before practice tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Sam. But you really didn’t have to come over here just to return the bottle. We have plenty of others. Mom must have bought Cassie one a month. She could have waited a couple of days.”

  Game time. “Well, actually, I have a bit of an ulterior motive. I’m headed to Bluebonnet Park to do some jogging, and I thought it would be nice to have some company. What do you say? I’ll even buy you lunch after.”

  “Well, Sam, I was going to...”

  “Going to what? Reorganize the linen closet?”

  Her faced reddened. “No. I wasn’t...I mean not exactly. Not that closet, anyway.” She paused.

  He’d caught her.

  Shaking her head, she smiled. “The game closet in the family room.”

  “Oh, I see. Do you think those games’ll self-destruct if you wait twenty-four more hours?”

  “No, of course not. But...”

  “But what?”

  “Look at the sky. It’s cloudy and the weatherman said there’s a sixty percent chance of rain today.”

  “That also means there’s a forty percent chance of no rain. I’ve lived in the UK for the last seven years. Believe me. I’m not afraid of a little precip. Besides, running in the rain can be quite refreshing.”

  Her eyes softened.

  He had her.

  “I’m not much of a jogger. Actually, I’m not a jogger at all.”

  “Well, we could skip around the trail if you’d prefer.”

  She crossed her arms. “You can be so infuriating sometimes, Sam Tucker.” Her eyes said yes. “OK, but only if I can walk.”

  “Deal. Grab your sneakers. I’ll wait out here.”

  ~*~

  No wonder Katherine hadn’t recognized Sam before the mission meeting. Now, with his hair grown back enough, she could see little Sammy Tucker in the man. It was still as blond as ever. Women she knew at her church in Dallas paid good money, and lots of it, for hair that color.

  So what exactly was she doing? She’d had her whole day planned, and now she wouldn’t get any of it accomplished. She should have turned him down, but he was right. Nothing on her list would mysteriously disappear if she didn’t get it done today. Besides she’d made a decision last night, and now it was time to see if she intended to follow it through. So, she was taking the first step out of that boat. That’s what she was doing.

  “You’re quiet.” His words pushed their way into her world. “Everything OK?”

  “Sorry. Everything’s fine. I was just rearranging my schedule in my head.” Not exactly the truth. She was doing some rearranging but not of her schedule. Her goals, her dreams. She was, as Dad suggested last night, giving herself permission to try something new.

  “I’ll take you back home if you really want. We can do this another time.” As his gaze briefly left the road and glanced her way, the warmth embraced her.

  “You know, I worked really hard to get everything done before my dad got home from his trip. I think I’ve earned a little time off.” She pushed herself back into the seat and closed her eyes. “I could definitely use a break.”

  Throwing the old notebook away last night had taken every ounce of courage she’d been able to muster. To get rid of something that had been a part of her and her dreams for so many years had made her almost physically ill. But once she’d closed the lid on the trash can, a sense of excitement—of freedom—had coursed through every inch of her body. She was no longer confined by those glass walls Mom always mentioned, where she could see what was going on outside but was restrained from participating by the invisible barrier. She was free. Today began a new adventure—one driven by relationship and trust rather than rules and lists.

  But even that excitement couldn’t completely displace the old fear planted deep within her heart that she was making a mistake. Old habits died hard. Mom’s words resounded in her mind. The journey ahead would most likely be bumpy. Change was never easy, but in the discomfort of change came growth. Peace flowed over her, ebbed away, and then flowed back again like a gentle wave tickling her feet at South Padre Island. She would do this.

  Sam’s hand squeezed her knee. “You’ve definitely earned some downtime.”

  “What…? Oh, yes, some time off.”

  His tone was gentle. “Lean back and close your eyes, if you want. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

  ~*~

  The park was deserted. Apparently, most of the town agreed with Katherine’s weather forecast rather than his. Even though the temperature had dropped some, the air hung on her shoulders like a soaking beach towel as they slowly jogged around the track. So far, she’d been able to keep up with him, but that wouldn’t last much longer. Besides, he was definitely holding back.

>   “You’re doing great.” His voice was as steady as if he’d been sitting in a recliner watching television.

  “I think it’s more like ‘I’ve done great.’ I’ve about had it, Sam. Plus, I know I’m slowing you down. You can’t possibly be getting much out of this workout.” She slowed to a brisk walk.

  “Today is about quality time more than quality workout.” He matched his pace to hers.

  “Really, I’m sure you want this to be of some benefit to you. I’m fine walking by myself if you want to run on. We can meet up at the beginning of the trail when we’re finished.” She slowed even more.

  “I have an idea.” Suddenly he sprinted ahead about ten yards and then ran backward until he met her again. “Good skill practice.” He ran forward again, but this time for a longer distance.

  This past fall she and Clark had gone to the park three times a week after work. He knew she didn’t like to jog, so he’d run on and leave her to walk alone. Some days that was OK because she needed the space, but other times, she wanted companionship and had asked him if he’d walk with her. He’d just complained, saying he really needed a good workout and walking with her didn’t provide that. If she wanted to exercise together, then she needed to start jogging. So she’d smiled and told him to go on...just as a good girlfriend should.

  Sam was back. He’d done several mini trips forward and backward before he came all the way back to her. Tiny beads of perspiration covered his forehead as he matched his pace to hers again. “You doing OK?” His breathing had quickened.

  “I’m doing great.” And she was. Last night’s time in the garden had left her with a refreshed sense of optimism.

  “Time for some laterals.” He turned sideways and kind of galloped-shuffled up the path and then back a couple of times. He changed sides and made several more roundtrips until he took his place beside her.

  They walked on in comfortable silence until he jumped in front of her and held up his hands in two-step position. “Time for you to practice your footwork.”

  He had to be crazy. Outside, in broad daylight. “Sam! Not now. Not here. What will people think?”

  He looked over his left shoulder and then his right. “What people? The place is deserted. I can’t believe the hint of a little rain would scare everyone away.”

  Over the past several weeks she’d learned enough about him to know once he got an idea in his mind, dissuading him was next to impossible.

  Pressing his hands toward her, he reinforced his invitation. “Just cashing in on that rehab you promised.” As his eyes sparkled, the Caribbean called to her. The sooner she agreed, the sooner they could do something else.

  She stepped forward and grasped his left hand, and the electricity from his touch flowed from her fingertips up her arms until it filled her entire body. When he placed his right hand against the middle of her back and drew her closer, the path beneath her feet disappeared.

  He smiled and bent forward slightly. “Ready?”

  As she nodded, he began counting the cadence of the steps. At first, they moved slowly and deliberately. But soon he increased the tempo and they began gliding and turning down the path. Counting was no longer necessary as she’d followed him enough by now that she could feel any slight change or correction he made, just as Juanita had said when she’d tied the bandana over Katherine’s eyes.

  As his hands directed her to a side by side position, he gently draped an arm across her shoulders and then began leading her into a series of quick turns and twirls. Laughing, she floated down the path like the ballerina she’d dreamed she’d become when she was five years old.

  But Sam was silent. Usually when they danced, he’d make little amusing comments, and since she was no longer facing him, she couldn’t see his expression. When she came out of the next turn she glanced up at his face. He was smiling. All was well.

  As he led her into the next turn, her foot became entangled with a small root that had overgrown the outer edge of the trail, and she lost her balance. As she fell backward, grass, trees, and gray sky swirled around her in slow motion like in a movie. She tried to let go of his hand to catch herself, but he held tight and then placed his free hand behind her back and pulled her upward against his body to hold her close until she could get both feet planted securely back down on the path.

  “I’m so sorry. Are you OK? I should have remembered that spot. I almost tripped myself when I was doing the laterals earlier.”

  “I’m fine.”

  Neither of them moved as the whole world faded into the background. No birds sang, no leaves rustled in the wind, no clouds passed overhead, the earthy aroma of impending rain disappeared. Only one thing filled her senses.

  The soft bass of his voice drew her back to reality. “I think that’s enough for today.”

  14

  Katherine sat on one of the large flat stones next to the ancient riverbed. Since the beginning of time, this small tributary of the Brazos had diligently and painstakingly etched its path through the limestone until it was now flanked by two walls of small cliffs full of nooks and crannies.

  Sam set a small cooler down next to her and then dropped onto the rock himself. “How in the world did you ever find this place?”

  “When I was a kid, my parents and I would come here on one of my mother’s expeditions. After church some Sundays, we’d stop by the Dairy Delite, pick up some sandwiches, and come here to eat them. Then we’d hunt for fossils or dinosaur footprints.”

  The memories filled her soul with a strange mixture of joy and sorrow. Mom always had a childlike sense of awe and fascination with the world—something she’d passed on to Katherine when she was young, but something Katherine had rejected as she’d grown and matured. Things like pretending to be paleontologists became inappropriate behaviors for a preteen-practically-adult-serious-person. She’d give anything to have some of those times back—to have Mom back. If she could rewind the hands of the clock, she’d do a better job of enjoying the moments instead of wishing her life away.

  “Fossils?” Sam handed her a sub sandwich.

  “Thanks. Yes, this is the same river that runs through Glen Rose, through Dinosaur Valley State Park. My mother had me convinced that if we looked hard enough, we’d find some undiscovered fossils or footprints. We never did, of course, but I used to get so excited at the prospect—” Her throat choked closed. One more word and the tears might escape.

  In the silence, Sam reached over and gently brushed her arm with his hand.

  She pushed her words out in a whisper. “I wish I’d told her how much I enjoyed those times instead of pretending to be too cool after a while.”

  “I’m sure she knew.” The warmth of his voice surprised her. “Parents are smart like that.”

  She could only nod.

  “Hey, if the weather continues to hold out, we could do our own expedition this afternoon—in honor of the past.”

  “I think I’d like that.”

  As they ate their sandwiches, the only sounds were the wind rustling through the trees above and the water gently trickling over the stones below.

  You lead me beside still waters. You restore my soul. Yes, yes.

  Here—away from jobs and jumbled closets, away from lists and responsibilities, away from broken dreams—here in creation was peace and restoration. She was not some inconsequential, disconnected island. She was a vital part of this complicated system of checks and balances that a perfectly organized and loving Creator had set in place eons ago and continued to hold in His hands.

  So this was why Mom had loved the outdoors so much. After all these years, Katherine finally got it. Creation gave a glimpse into the vastness and beauty of the heart of God. Thank You, Father.

  Sam’s voice jolted her back to the present. “Hey, are you up for a random question?”

  “Depends upon what it is. Go for it.”

  “OK. When did you become Katherine? You were always Beth in school.”

  “No laughing. Promi
se?”

  He nodded.

  “I had always been Katherine until third grade when I read the Little House series of books. I started watching reruns of the old TV show and fell madly in love with Almanzo Wilder.” It all seemed so ridiculous now. “I loved that he and Laura had special nicknames for each other. She called him Manly, and he called her Beth. And since my middle name is Elizabeth, I adopted that nickname, too. Some days, I’d go out to the garden, move my mother’s patio furniture over under the arbor, and pretend it was my ‘Little House’ and that I was waiting for Almanzo to return from a hard day’s work in the fields.” She couldn’t believe she’d shared this with him. “Silly, I know.”

  “Nothing’s silly about having hopes and dreams. Life would be pretty boring without them.” He winked. “Besides, there’s not much difference between that and some young boy with orange plastic cones set up in his backyard, pretending he just scored in a shootout to win the World Cup.”

  She should have known he’d understand. “Anyway, when I left for college, I decided I needed a serious name for a serious time of life, so Katherine it was, and Katherine it is.”

  “Katherine Elizabeth Herrington. I’d say that’s a pretty serious name.”

  A cool gust of wind raced down into the small canyon and rippled the water as it skimmed across the stream.

  Sam stood and offered her his hand. “Well, Miss Katy Beth, if we’re to get that expedition in, we’d better start now so we can be back before any rain comes—that is, on the microscopic chance that your forecast is right.”

  Katy Beth...she liked that.

  He led her across the rocks and down a slight rise to the river bed and then turned to face her. “So—just out of curiosity—did Almanzo ever show up?”

  If she’d only heard his words and not been looking at him when he’d said them, she might have thought he was making fun of her. But he wasn’t. His eyes were warm and gentle. “Not yet. He must have gotten lost somewhere out there on the prairie.”