The Waiting

by Carol James

  “Poor guy. He’s gotta be exhausted and starving by now. You sure that wasn’t him that came the other day after we finished working in your mom’s garden?”

  “One hundred percent positive.”

  They’d been hiking for about fifteen minutes when several enormous raindrops splatted like miniature water balloons against the rocks. At first, she thought they were a few random drops and nothing more. But the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees since they’d begun their “expedition.” And now the wind whipped down the gully between the two cliffs, bringing with it the earthy scent of the approaching storm.

  Sam’s voice sounded above its roar. “OK, I surrender. Looks as if your sixty percent positive beat my forty percent negative. There’ll be no fossils today. Guess we better turn back if we have any chance to make it to the car before the storm breaks loose.”

  “Good idea.” Back to the car, back to life. She needed to figure out a way to carry home the earlier sense of peace she’d discovered here. As the storm approached from someplace upstream, the previously clear, calm waters were now as murky as a latte from The Perks.

  He reached over and took her hand. “Come on. We’d better move to outrun this thing.”

  They began a careful jog over the slippery rocks back downstream toward their picnic spot, but the storm was faster.

  The thundering of raindrops pelting against the riverbed and the adjacent stones was as loud as if an entire herd of wild horses was chasing them.

  Katherine looked over her shoulder to see a wall of rain about twenty feet away. She squeezed Sam’s hand as she yelled above the clatter, “We’ll never make it.”

  They quickened their pace in vain, as icy needles stung her shoulders and the backs of her legs.

  “Hurry, in here.” Sam pushed her into a small crevice in the stone cliff.

  She hadn’t noticed it when they’d walked by earlier. It was about five or six feet wide at the opening and several feet deep, tapering closed in the back. They planted themselves toward the rear, out of reach of the biting rain.

  While the raindrops could no longer touch her and her arms and legs weren’t being prickled by hundreds of needles anymore, the combination of her wet skin, the cold stone walls of the small cave—if one could even call it that—and the plummeting temperatures made her shiver.

  “Cold?”

  “F-freezing.”

  He reached down and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt. “Here. It’s wet, but you can have this.”

  As he began to raise his hands, she replied quickly, “No, that’s OK. I refuse to take your shirt.” The last thing she wanted was a replay of the soccer field. She didn’t have a seatbelt to restrain her today.

  Eyes twinkling, he grinned. “OK. But I can’t watch you shiver like that. Come here.” He grasped her hand and gently pulled her close, completely wrapping his arms around her so that he could rub his hands up and down her arms.

  She should pull away, but the heat from his body had already began to counteract the shivers. Besides, his hold wasn’t much different from the times they’d slow-danced together—except there was no music and they were completely alone.

  As the warmth of his body began to relax her, she rested her head on his shoulder, and he tightened his embrace. His heart pounded against her.

  He barely drew away and then, with his fingertips, softly brushed the wet tendrils of hair off her cheeks. “Better?”

  She nodded and placed her head back against his shoulder. She raised up to look into his eyes. They were dreamy and filled with desire she’d never seen before from him, from Clark, from any man she’d ever dated.

  He wanted to kiss her, and she wanted nothing more, but something was stopping him. Maybe he thought she was still involved with Clark. That part of her life was over, and she’d tell Clark as soon as she got the chance. But still, Cassie had mentioned the proposal at the soccer field the other evening. So Sam knew they were serious—or had been—and maybe he thought they still were.

  “I’m breaking up with Clark for good.” The words rushed out before she could put on the brakes.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Do you really mean that?”

  “Well, yeah, of course. It’s gotta be tough if you guys were at the point where he would propose. You two obviously have some history together. Feelings like that don’t usually happen overnight.”

  Sam was right. Saying no had been hard. All of their friends, Dad, Clark’s family, and especially Clark had just assumed she’d say yes. Living up to what everyone thought would happen and accepting his proposal would have been, in some ways, the easier choice. But she hadn’t been able to do it. And whether or not, as Cassie thought, the two were connected, the layoff after the rejected proposal had ended up being a blessing. It had given her time away to really think and reevaluate. And after last night, especially to pray. Not that God would bring her The One, but that He would bring her a man who would become Her One.

  “Clark’s a wonderful man, and he’ll make someone an incredible husband someday. Just not me. Turning him down was hard, but I’m not sorry I did it. Even though he has every quality I want in a husband, marrying him would have been a mistake. I understand that now.”

  As a gust of wind blew rain into the small cave, she shivered again, and Sam turned his back to the doorway in the rock to shelter her from the cold. He held her close, and while habit told her to pull away, she refused to obey as the old Katherine would have done. Instead, she placed her head back on his shoulder, and he began slowly swaying back and forth as if they were dancing. Stepping out of the boat meant taking risks she’d never taken before. And yet something about him felt safe.

  “Hey.” Barely audible above the splatting of the rain against the river rocks, his whisper warmed her hair.

  In response, she turned her face up toward his. They were eyelashes apart.

  “Whatcha thinking?”

  How close you are. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” His eyes probed hers until he had to be able to read her thoughts. “I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.”

  How close you are. And how much I like it. “Nothing...really.”

  “Sorry, but I’m not buying.” He gently rested his forehead against hers. “Let me see if I can pick up some telepathic communications here. Look into my eyes.”

  She was floating in the ocean, the sunlight sparkling on the gentle, cerulean waves. Kiss me. “Sam, I—”

  “Quiet, please. I need total silence to ensure accurate results.” As she continued to stare into the blue pools, tiny lines crinkled at the outer edges, and he drew his head away. “I got it.”

  “You have, have you?” For some ridiculous reason her voice quivered.

  “Yes. You have a question you want to ask me.”

  “Oh, I do? And what would that be?”

  “You’re wondering why I haven’t tried to kiss you.”

  Her face was on fire as she moved away. There’s no way he could have possibly known her thoughts.

  “And you think it might be because I’m not attracted to you.” He entwined his fingers with hers and then raised their clasped hands to draw her back to him. “But you’re wrong.”

  The rain had slowed to a gentle sprinkle as the storm marched on downstream. In minutes, the two of them would exit the cave, and these moments of forced intimacy would be gone as quickly as they had come. She needed to take advantage of the little time they had left. “Why haven’t you then? Every other man I’ve ever dated would have at least tried by now.”

  “I’m not every other man.”

  He was right about that.

  “Besides, I’m waiting for an invitation.”

  So that was what had been going on. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss her. He just needed to know she wanted him to.

  “Yeah, I screwed it up the first time, and I won’t the second time.”

  The first time? Snipe hunting. “Oh, is that what that was supposed to be
? A kiss? Thanks for the clarification. I thought it was a sneak attack of some sort.” She couldn’t help but grin at the memory, but the man before her was not the boy who had ambushed her years earlier.

  “Let’s just say, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to practice since then, and I’m confident I can do a better job.”

  “And upon what do you base that conclusion? As an auditor—even one who’s currently unemployed—I can’t simply accept some blanket statement without analyzing the supporting facts.”

  “I see. And how would you do that?” His voice was soft.

  “I could interview some of the other participants. But that doesn’t seem feasible.” Hundreds of tiny butterflies swarmed in her stomach. “I guess the only way to determine the validity of your conclusion is by personal investigation.”

  He removed his hands from hers, gently cupped her face with them, and gazed into her soul. “I’ll take that as an invitation.”

  Very slowly he leaned forward and, as her eyes fluttered closed, he kissed her softly on her forehead, then her right cheek, her left cheek, and finally the tip of her nose. She could hardly breathe.

  Her heart raced as he pulled her close and his lips finally met hers. His first kiss was gentle, sweet, searching. The second, though, was more deliberate, as passion she’d never felt before burned through her body like fire consuming dry kindling in the fireplace before the logs burst into flames. She drew away while she still had the will to do so and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  As he rested his head on hers, he whispered. “Well, Miss Auditor?”

  “Upon first analysis, I would say that the facts seem to support your stated conclusion. But I will need to do some further investigation at another time to confirm.”

  As she pushed away from him, he laughed. “Whatever I can do to assist your evaluation.”

  “Oh, look, Sam. The rain’s stopped. Guess we better get going.” She pushed him aside and bolted out of the cave before he could argue.

  “Wait, Katy Beth!”

  As she turned back, he stooped down at the mouth of the cave. He picked up a rock, studied it, and then tossed it into the stream. “Nah, not a fossil. Oh, well, I thought maybe today would be your lucky day, and you’d find something.”

  If only he knew.

  ~*~

  The notebook must have been under the trash can. Sam hadn’t noticed it until he was on his way back down the driveway from returning the can to the side of the house for Mr. Herrington. He’d figured it belonged to Cassie. It would be just like her to lose it.

  But then he’d opened the cover. In the upper right corner of the first page in fat, round, schoolgirl cursive was the owner’s name: Beth Herrington. The following words jumped out from the center of the same page: Passion and Purity followed by the year of the conference. The same one he’d attended.

  He should return it to her, but if she’d wanted it back, she wouldn’t have thrown it away in the first place. So, he’d brought it home and, after arguing with himself about respecting her privacy, his curiosity had won out, and he’d begun flipping through the pages.

  Reading it had been a mistake. He closed the spiral notebook covered with fluorescent butterflies and dropped it on the floor beside his bed. He’d been on such an emotional high after this afternoon. Everything was moving along better than he’d hoped. Even the weather had cooperated.

  But, he’d just had to read the notebook.

  The first part was filled with notes from the conference, and about half-way through he found a page entitled, The List. He’d read over the numbered attributes. She was obviously stating the qualities she wanted in a husband. At the bottom of the page was some Bible verse about God granting the desires of one’s heart.

  He’d told himself he shouldn’t open the book, and now he really wished he hadn’t. As he’d flipped from page to page, her hopes and dreams were expressed. Some pages contained a male name, often embellished with hearts and flowers. She was obviously comparing the real to her ideal.

  The List was restated multiple times. Some items were eliminated as new ones were added. Others were rearranged. But the top three entries never changed.

  He was working on the first one. After being so far away from God over the last several years, his heart had begun to hunger for something more than the world could give him. His morning Bible studies with Brad had only increased that longing.

  The second one he possessed and had for years. He loved her unconditionally. As ridiculous as it seemed, she’d been the standard he’d measured the other women by, and they’d all been nothing more than caricatures of the real thing. The fear that his teenage memories had, over time, airbrushed her into some fake representation of reality was obliterated the night of their date at the Cattlemen’s Hotel. She was so much more than he remembered.

  But number three...he’d had one chance at that one, and he’d blown it. How realistic was it anyway in this day and time? He’d been tested, and he was clean. Plus, he’d been celibate for about a year now—since he’d decided to come back and look for her.

  God couldn’t rewrite the pages of his past, but He could, Brad had assured him, direct his future. All Sam could hope was that Katherine would come to love him enough that number three wouldn’t matter.

  15

  Katherine drove with her window down, but even the breeze on her face didn’t help calm her rolling stomach.

  I’ll call you tomorrow. Those had been Sam’s last words to her as he’d hugged her good-bye last night. And as each minute of the day had crept by at a snail’s pace, and the phone call hadn’t come, the nausea had only gotten worse.

  Yesterday in the little canyon had been amazing. The kiss that she had agonized over these past few weeks had been more wonderful than she could have ever imagined. And the longing in Sam’s eyes had told her he’d felt the same.

  The first thought she’d had this morning was of Sam. She’d wanted to see him, to smell the clean fragrance of his cologne, to feel his heart beating life into hers. She’d grabbed her phone from the nightstand, and then she’d glanced at the clock and discovered it was way too early to call him. Besides, even though it seemed kind of old-fashioned, she wanted him to call her—to want to call her. And he had promised he would.

  When she hadn’t heard from him by late morning, she’d told herself he’d just slept late. But then noon had come and gone and still not even a text from him. Several times, she’d picked her phone up to call him but then put it right back down again. She’d even called her cell from the house phone just to make sure it was working. It was.

  The whole day was gone, and he hadn’t called.

  There had to be some reason. Maybe she was nothing more than an answer to boredom. After all, he was stuck here in Crescent Bluff with lots of time on his hands and nothing to do. Perhaps she wasn’t cosmopolitan enough for him. Or maybe she’d misread him, and he didn’t enjoy the kiss as much as she’d thought. After all this time of waiting, maybe he’d been disappointed.

  Whatever the reason, he hadn’t called, and now as she turned onto the street that dead-ended into the soccer complex, a part of her prayed he wouldn’t be there this evening. But as she rounded the corner, the red car, backed into a corner space, came into sight. Her prayer wasn’t answered.

  She pulled into a parking place at the other end of the lot, cut the engine, and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Maybe she was unfinished business from his past, and now he’d checked her off his list just as she’d checked the game closet off hers this afternoon. One more conquest completed so he could move on to the next.

  But if all this was really true, he should have made a move long before yesterday. She was so confused. And nervous.

  So much for stepping out of the boat and taking a chance. She was sinking in fear and disappointment and taking the peace she’d felt the other night in the garden down with her. She wanted the old notebook back, but it was too late.

  Somewhere deep insid
e a quiet, gentle Voice asked for her trust. She should give Sam the benefit of the doubt and at least wait until they could talk. Yes. She would try to do that.

  Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car and closed the door. As she made her way across the complex to the far field, the earthy scent of the ground, still damp from yesterday’s rains, enveloped her, and she was again in his arms in the cave. If only she could be there now.

  The team was gathered on the sidelines, Brad and Sam giving instructions to the players and their parents. As she approached the group, Sam’s gaze found hers, and heat from yesterday’s memory crept up her neck to her face. She tried to smile as if everything was normal, but her lips quivered and gave her away. She couldn’t let him see her cry.

  ~*~

  Something was definitely wrong. She had the same look on her face as she’d had that day at the church when she figured out who he really was—embarrassment, betrayal. After yesterday, he’d been sure their relationship was well on its way, but apparently there’d been some sort of setback that only she knew about.

  “Think you and Katherine could handle that, Sam?”

  He’d missed what Brad had said. “Sorry, man. What was that?”

  “Would you and Katherine mind taking care of the planning for the tournament next month?”

  Sam glanced at Katherine. She opened her mouth to reply, but he jumped in first. “Sure, we can do that.”

  “Great,” Brad continued. “OK everybody, Sam and Katherine will try to have some packets ready to hand out at the game Saturday.”

  By the time Sam picked up his bag, Katherine was halfway across the field, marching full speed toward the parking lot. Good thing Cassie was still on the bench changing into her slides because Katherine couldn’t leave without her sister. He jogged on ahead so they’d have a few seconds alone before Cassie showed up. “Wait up, Katy Beth.”