The Waiting

by Carol James

  She paused slightly. She’d heard him even though she didn’t turn and acknowledge his words. She returned to making a beeline across the complex, obviously pretending she hadn’t.

  When he caught up with her, he matched his pace to hers. “Hey, you OK?”

  “Fine.” Her gaze was trained straight ahead.

  “Fine? You sure?”

  She stopped and turned toward him. Her eyes were red. She wasn’t angry. She was upset about something.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” He reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

  “Please don’t, Sam.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” When he’d kissed her yesterday afternoon in that primeval setting, they’d been alone in a world of two. Even the rain had been an accomplice by forcing them into the cave. Nothing could have been better.

  But then last night he’d read the notebook, and in a matter of minutes, that world had disappeared. He wanted her, but he didn’t deserve her. She must have come to realize that, because, despite what she’d said, something between them was definitely wrong.

  “Really, I’m OK.” Her face still said otherwise as she broke eye contact and shifted her gaze, focusing on some point to his right. “How was your day?”

  He didn’t want to talk about his day, but she obviously didn’t want to discuss what was on her mind, and some conversation was better than none. “A mess. I had the final doctor’s appointment for my knee in Dallas, but the doctor was tied up in surgery. So, I decided to wait rather than reschedule. I read every magazine in the waiting room, including some three-year-old ladies’ magazines. You’ll be glad to know I should be able to make a pretty mean apple pie while teaching a child how to tie his shoes using the bunny ears method.”

  She nodded as she shifted her weight back and forth but no smile, and she still wasn’t saying anything, so he’d better keep going. “And to top it all off, my phone died. You know all that rain yesterday? It must have fried my phone. I didn’t realize it until I tried to call you on the way to Dallas this morning—and nothing.”

  As her gaze found his, her face lit up. “You tried to call me, but your phone was dead?”

  “Yeah, it was in my pocket yesterday, and it must have happened when I had my back to the opening of the cave. I was, shall I say, a bit distracted at the time. I guess it got wetter than I realized. It’s home in a bowl of rice, but I don’t have much hope for a recovery.”

  As a smile covered her face, she grasped his hands. “Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry.”

  He’d never seen anyone so happy about being sorry. “You don’t seem that sorry.”

  Her laughter was musical. “Oh, trust me. I am. I really am.”

  Whatever. At least she was smiling and talking to him now. “I need to go to the phone store tonight. Want to come along? We could go to The Perks after and work on the agenda for the tournament.”

  “I’d love to.”

  ~*~

  Katherine had no idea where they were headed. Sam sped down the highway toward some secret destination that he assured her would be fun. Going on yesterday’s date had been a surprise, too, and it had turned out better than if he, or even she, had planned it for days. Neither one of them could have created the rainstorm that forced them into the cave and brought them together. The growth their relationship had experienced in just a few minutes might have otherwise taken days or weeks to come to pass. If at all. So, maybe she needed to rethink her stance on spontaneity. Impulsiveness wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

  As Sam shifted the car into fourth, Katherine softly blew across the top of her cup. They had finished the information packets for the tournament so quickly that her latte was still hot.

  “That was a bit too easy, if you ask me.” Sam glanced her way and smiled.

  A bit. Over the past few weeks, his accent had morphed into something more Texan than British, but every now and then isolated words or little phrases sneaked back in. Something about the change was really cute.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing. I was just wondering why Brad assigned the two of us to do a job that would have been a snap for one person. That’s all.”

  “I think he was trying to help me out.”

  “You mean he didn’t think you could do it by yourself? That’s ridiculous.” Sam was no dummy. Besides, even Cassie could have compiled the information with no trouble.

  “Not that. I think he wanted us to have an excuse for a date.” He reached over and rested his hand on her knee.

  “Oh, I see. Well, I don’t think you need his help. Anyway, that’s a good sign. You didn’t kiss and tell.” As she entwined her fingers with his, a sense of belonging suddenly filled her. It was as if she’d stepped through the front door after a long trip. She was home where she was meant to be. Their hands had been created to complete one another. She’d always imagined feeling like this in her relationships. She’d wanted to, but never had. And now, she never wanted to let go.

  “No, ma’am.” As he squeezed her hand, he winked. “What happens in the cave, stays in the cave.”

  “Groan...” She’d never noticed how long his eyelashes were until now when the streetlights shining through the windshield made them glisten bronze.

  As he slowed the car, they pulled off the highway and turned into a newly developed neighborhood about halfway between Crescent Bluff and Dallas. “We’re here.”

  “Where?”

  “Our date location.” He continued through the subdivision to the back where the roads had been laid out but no streetlights or houses had yet been built. The crescent moon glowed softly, so most of the light came from the car headlights and the stars overhead.

  He pulled the car over to the curb, turned off the lights, and cut the engine.

  Suddenly her heart began to race as fear prickled from her stomach throughout the trunk of her body into her arms and legs. No one knew where they were. They’d been alone together on several dates, and she’d never been afraid or uneasy—until now. How well did she really know him, anyway? She remembered the young boy he’d been and knew about the man he now presented himself to be, but she didn’t really know him. What if he was some psychopath? He didn’t seem to be, but that’s how they reeled in their prey.

  “Ready?”

  Blood surged through her ears. “For what?”

  He opened his door. “Your driving lesson.”

  “My what?”

  “You heard me. Come on. We need to switch places.” He stepped out of the car and walked around to her side.

  The relief lasted only a couple of seconds until he opened her door. When she’d tried this a few years ago, she’d done nothing but make a fool of herself. “Sam, I really don’t want to. What if I ruin the transmission?”

  “You won’t. I promise. But if by some weird chance you do, it can always be replaced. Come on.” He grasped her hand and gently helped her out of the car. As she stepped onto the street, he drew her close, his words tickling her ear, “Who knows? Your future husband might have a car like this, and you’ll want to be able to drive it. But even if not, everybody should know how to drive a stick.”

  ~*~

  Sam had laughed so hard over the past hour or so that his sides were sore. A couple of times he’d been sure she would take off her shoes and throw them at him. But she’d finally gotten it. She’d figured out the tension between the clutch and the accelerator, and she was doing great. “Brilliantly done, Katy Beth. I think I’ll let you drive us home tonight.”

  Her eyes never left the road, and her left hand was welded to the steering wheel, her right to the gear shift knob. “If I’m doing well, it’s no thanks to you. I pretty much had to figure this thing out on my own because my teacher was laughing too hard to speak.”

  “It’s kinda the Socratic method of driving lessons. You know, figure it out on your own. I was here in case you couldn’t.”

  She pulled the car over to the curb and stopped. “A poor excus
e for rotten teaching, Sam Tucker. You’d better stick with soccer and forget any aspirations you might have ever had to teach.”

  “Don’t worry. Never had any. Never will.” He placed his hand on top of hers. “You did outstandingly.”

  A grin spread across her face. “I did, didn’t I? Thanks, Sam.”

  “You betcha. It’s almost time to go, but I want you to try one more thing. See that hill ahead? Drive up to the intersection at the top and stop at the stop sign. Then I’ll tell you what you need to do.”

  As smooth as silk she pulled away from the curb, drove to the intersection, and stopped. She did a great job. If everything went as he hoped, this car would be hers one of these days, and now she’d be able to drive it.

  “Ready.”

  “OK, when you take off, the car will want to roll back down the hill, so you’ll need to ease your right foot over so you can kind of hit both the brake and the gas at the same time. When you get ready to go, you’ll need to slide your foot over to the accelerator, give it some gas, and pull the clutch out just enough to act as the brake, but not enough to kill the engine. Don’t be afraid if the engine races until you get the feel of it. Ready?”

  “Not really, but here goes.”

  The first three times the car rolled back and the engine died.

  She pursed her lips in frustration. Her voice was higher pitched than normal. “I can’t do this, Sam. Let’s switch places and just go back home. I’ll try it again later.”

  “No, you can do it. You just need a little more practice. Come on, three more tries and then we’ll call it a night. Go ahead and restart the car.”

  Right after the engine turned over, headlights shone through the back window of the car. She looked over at him with eyes the size of quarters. “Sam, there’s a car behind us. Where did that come from?”

  This would be interesting. But the hardest part for him would be not to laugh. She was way out of her comfort zone. He could change places with her right now and save her, but not everything in life was under her control, and it would do her good to work through this. Not that he wanted to control her life, either. She needed spontaneity.

  Besides, this would be hysterical. He cleared his throat. “It’s OK. Just take a deep breath and remember everything we talked about.”

  “Sam, I can’t do it.” Her eyes had grown to the size of those silver dollars his father had always kept in his sock drawer. “Please?”

  “Just try.”

  On the first attempt, she let the clutch out too fast, the car died, and began rolling backward. “Hit the brake, Katy Beth.” The car stopped.

  “Sam, please...” She pleaded with him.

  “One more try.” He covered his mouth with his hand so she wouldn’t see him grinning.

  The second attempt was a rerun of the first.

  “I can’t do this. The car’s right on my bumper now. If I try it again, I’ll roll back into it.” She put the window down and waved the car around. “They’re not moving!” She stuck her hand back out and exaggerated her motions. “Why aren’t they moving, Sam?”

  Suddenly blue lights flashed through the back window. He rested his head back, and the laughter he could no longer stifle exploded. “That’s why.”

  “This is not funny, Sam Tucker.”

  “Yes, it is, Katherine Herrington.”

  Her eyes were now the size of hockey pucks, and policeman or no policeman, he wanted to pull her close and hug away all that fear and tension, but that would have to wait.

  An amplified voice broke into their conversation. “Stay in the car. I repeat. Do not get out of the car.”

  “Sam...”

  “It’ll be OK, just sit still, place your hands on the steering wheel, and let me do the talking.”

  ~*~

  The policeman was at her window. One hand rested on the grip of his pistol as he shone a flashlight into the car with the other. “Evening, folks. Having a little problem here?”

  Sam leaned forward and smiled. His hands were on the dashboard. “Good evening, Officer. Just teaching my girlfriend how to drive a standard.”

  “License, please, sir.”

  Sam slowly pulled his wallet out of his pocket, extracted his driver’s license, and handed it across her to the policeman. He studied the license, looked at Sam’s face, and then back at the picture on the license. “Don’t see one of these every day.”

  “No sir, it’s a British license. I live outside of London.”

  Maybe it was illegal to drive here without a Texas license. She wouldn’t remain silent while they got arrested. “I have a valid Texas license in my purse in the backseat. I’ll be happy to get it.”

  “That won’t be necessary, ma’am. I believe y’all. I just thought somebody had stolen the car and didn’t know how to drive it.”

  Relief flooded over her as he removed his hand from his gun and smiled.

  “Samuel Tucker.” The officer handed the license back to Sam. “I know you.”

  The officer couldn’t possibly know Sam. He may be a professional soccer player, but he was not as famous as some.

  “My brother played on your club team in middle school—Kent Strickland,” the officer continued.

  “Kent. He was a great striker.” Sam leaned across her and offered his hand. “Good to see you...”

  “Daniel.”

  “Daniel. How’s Kent doing?”

  “Married with four kids. Coaches high school soccer in Waco. He’s doing good, but by the looks of things, not as good as you.”

  “I’m not so sure. Sounds as if he has a really great life.”

  “He’s happy.”

  “Tell him hi for me next time you see him.”

  “Will do.” Daniel leaned down and pointed toward Sam, “Oh, and for the record...the guy who tripped you and tore your knee up should’ve gotten a red card. That was a lousy call.”

  Sam laughed. “I won’t disagree with that.”

  16

  Katherine nestled back into the passenger seat as Sam closed her door. Thank goodness he’d agreed to drive. Despite how much she’d pretended to be perturbed with him for laughing at her earlier attempts to drive his car, the first part of tonight’s driving lesson had been much more fun than she could have ever imagined. No matter how frustrating he could be, she always ended up enjoying their times together.

  And tonight had been no different. Because he’d told her she could do something she knew she’d fail at, she’d proven herself wrong and him right. Since their first date, he’d nudged her, sometimes not so gently, to move beyond the comfortable and safe into the unknown and...fun.

  Sam was changing her old attitude of control. She was being shown a different personality within herself, and she liked who she was becoming. For most people, these changes would have been nothing more than baby steps, but for her they were huge strides. They were growth. Something as silly as dancing blindfolded with him was growth in learning to trust another person.

  Throwing the old notebook away had also been evidence of growth. Somewhere over the years, she’d begun to place her trust in the wrong person—herself. She’d designed a comfortable, tidy little world in which she was queen, and she’d forgotten who the ruler of her heart was supposed to be. She hadn’t really wanted the notebook back today. She’d just wanted the feeling of security it provided. So, this afternoon she’d listened to the wrong voice, and she’d failed to trust.

  Please forgive me.

  The residue of the doubts and fears from earlier today coupled with the episode with the policeman had left her emotionally drained, and all she wanted to do was put her head back and let Sam chauffeur her home.

  One of these days, they’d look back on today and laugh. Her breathing caught. For the first time in her life, her heart suggested a forever-ness with a man. This man...Sam. Something inside her burst open like Mom’s morning glories as they’d awaken to the newness of the day. Although the emotion was foreign, her heart recognized it. As imp
robable as it seemed, she loved him.

  She hardly knew him, yet she loved him, and she wanted to know him better so she could love him more. But that desire was all wrong. While the notebook was in a landfill somewhere, The List was still written on her heart and might be forever. It couldn’t simply be erased like a misspelled word on a homework paper, and he didn’t possess the number one quality she wanted in a husband.

  She’d taken a step out of the boat as Dad had suggested, but that didn’t mean she should disregard every quality on the list and not use the common sense she’d been given. God couldn’t really want her to pursue a relationship with a man who didn’t share her faith. A few—a very few—items on the list were completely non-negotiable. And that was one of them.

  A quiet Voice deep inside encouraged her to trust and take another step away from the boat. She needed to tell Sam how she felt. If she scared him off, she scared him off. But better to end their relationship now before it became even more complicated. She leaned her head back against the seat and took a deep breath to steady her stomach.

  As he opened the driver’s door, his new phone began to ring from the cup holder in the console.

  Reflexively, she glanced at it. The display read “Lizzie” and showed the picture of an attractive blonde. When Sam slid into the seat, Katherine quickly redirected her gaze so he wouldn’t realize she’d seen the image. He grabbed the phone and glanced at the screen. “Sorry, Katy Beth, but I really have to take this. I’ll only be a second.”

  Sam stepped back out of the car, walked to the curb on the other side of the street, and turned his back. Quiet, comfortable laughter floated across the asphalt and in through the open window. His words were unintelligible, but the tone of his voice was warm. “Lizzie” was neither a casual acquaintance nor an unwelcome caller.

  Her relationships had consistently followed the same pattern. She’d always been in control, dating her current “one” until she’d determined whether or not he had enough of the qualities on the list to possibly become The One. If he did, they’d continue their relationship.