Recovery

by Nicole Dykes

  Her hands on my jeans catch my attention as she unzips them and takes the condom from my hand. Fuck, she’s hot.

  Her lips drag down my chest as she pushes my jeans down. My cock is hard and begging to be set free, but she doesn’t do that. I step out of my jeans and let her have control for now. She drops to her knees, and I stare down at the beautiful woman before me as she kisses the tip of my cock through my boxers, pulling a groan from me as I tilt my head back against the door.

  “It’s been a while since I've had sex.”

  “Nervous?”

  She arches a brow and shakes her head, pushing my boxers down and eyeing my cock, making it twitch with anticipation. Her tongue darts out, licking the tip that’s already glistening with my precum. “Fuck.”

  I feel her smiling as she opens the condom and sheathes me. I can barely take it any longer. When she stands up, my hands grip her face, and my lips crash to hers, both of us moaning with need.

  I quickly push her pants and panties down as she kicks them off and we make our way to the bed. I land on the covers, pulling her body on top of mine so her breasts are pressed against my chest and my hard cock rests between her legs.

  “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I gasp as one hand slides over the curve of her hip and down between her legs, feeling her slick arousal. I smile, knowing she wants me too. “And fucking wet for me.”

  “Mmmm . . . yes,” she says as I find her clit and stroke it with slow, lazy circles, making her hips buck against my cock.

  She sits up, giving me full view of tits that are on the smaller side but fucking perfect and perky. Her dark nipples are hard as I use my free hand to brush over them, pulling a shudder from her small body.

  My hand drags down to her belly button, and I notice it’s pierced with a butterfly jewel that’s sexy as fuck. “You only get hotter.”

  She slides her pussy against my cock, making it wet and so fucking ready to be inside her. “Fuck me, Jase.”

  I don’t waste time asking if she’s sure. I’m not a pussy, and she’s not a delicate flower. But I do have a nagging worry in the back of my mind that she’ll think this was a mistake after we come.

  I don’t worry about it now though. Instead, I position my cock at her entrance and let her slide home. And holy fuck, as she slides down my cock, taking in every hard inch, I swear I see fucking stars at the sensation of being inside her.

  We both moan as she falls forward, capturing my lips. My hands grip her tits, brushing over her nipples with my thumb before pinching them with enough pain to be full of pleasure. She gasps into my mouth, and I feel her muscles clench around my dick as she moves her hips, lifting up and then slowly sliding back down. The pace is agonizingly slow, but I can take it.

  I don’t want this feeling to end, and if she wants to escape with me, I'm happy to help her.

  She sits back up, her hips picking up the pace as my hands grip her ass, guiding her along my shaft, chasing the orgasm that’s building. Her clit is rubbing my dick with each thrust, and I know she’s close.

  “Fuck, Mya. I’m close.” One hand moves back to her clit, wanting to feel her come around my cock.

  “Oh God, Jase,” her moan is sultry and full of want as her hips continue to buck against me. Her palms rest on my abs as I thrust in sync with her, playing with her clit and gripping her ass, not thinking about anything but this moment with Mya.

  “Just let go.” And she does. She fucking does. Her body stiffens as her head tilts back and her pussy grips me tightly, not letting go as she finds her release. I topple over the edge a moment later, my cock jerking inside her as I come.

  Her body collapses against mine with my dick still inside her, softening, but not yet done. I'm already craving round two.

  “Holy fuck.” I smooth my hand over her back and smile to myself, but my smile fades when I feel hot tears on my chest.

  I slowly lift her chin so she’s looking at me. “Mya?”

  “I hate everything.”

  I stare at her, swallowing the bitter taste because I know why I feel so fucking connected to this girl and it has nothing to do with what we just did. “I know.”

  “You really do, don’t you?”

  I nod my head, letting go of her head and wrapping my arms around her body, letting her just lay on me, her head over my heart.

  Maybe this was a mistake.

  Last night was not a dream.

  I feel Jase’s hard body next to mine and know that for sure now. God, his body is insane—chiseled and taut with hardened muscle, ink scrawled everywhere.

  I have no idea what got into me, but when I saw him surrounded by people in the crowded loft, all I wanted was time alone with him. I don’t know him. He won’t tell me anything real, and I won’t tell him anything either.

  Yet somehow, it’s like he sees me.

  When Quinn brought up Trey, it just made me want an escape. An escape I refuse to get from any substance. I will not turn into my mother.

  But Jase may be even more dangerous.

  I turn my head and can’t fight the smile when I see him dead asleep, oblivious to the world. The way he held me felt so safe. And that thought is petrifying.

  I can’t remember ever feeling safe.

  His lips pull up into a smirk, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “Ogling me?”

  I roll my eyes, but after I do that, my eyes drag over his bare chest. Holy hell, he’s perfect. “Nope.”

  “Liar.” His eyes open, and he smiles at me. Jase may seem simple to some people, but to me he’s a total conundrum. He appears carefree, but I see pain in his eyes. Those hazels can’t hide a damn thing. And the way he understands me without any effort tells me Quinn is right. He hasn’t had it easy.

  “I should go.”

  He nods. “Right. Can’t let anyone know we fucked.”

  He doesn’t sound bitter. Instead, I think he’s teasing me. “Do you really want to deal with questions?”

  His shoulder shrugs. “I don’t care. I give us a solid ten in the sack.”

  “I’m going to smother you with a pillow,” I deadpan but hate how cute he is.

  He laughs, “You can try. I’m pretty strong.” He flexes his right bicep to prove his point, and my eyes stay fixed on the hard muscle.

  “Is that where you go? To the gym?”

  He sits up, pushing his fingers through his messy hair. “Sometimes.”

  Still vague. “I’m going to go shower. I have an early shift at the bar tonight.”

  “Tips suck.”

  I nod as I realize I left my shirt in my room. WIthout saying anything, he hands me his t-shirt, and I slip it on. “Don’t get too cocky.”

  He yawns, “Come on, Mya. We just slept together. You know I'm cocky.” He wags his eyebrows, but again, I can’t argue.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  I climb off the bed, but he catches my wrist gently. “You okay about last night? For real? No bullshit?”

  I nod my head. “Yeah. I needed it.”

  He accepts that with a nod and releases me. “Okay. Let me know if you need me again.”

  He expects me to say it won’t happen again. I can feel it, but it was fun. Even though I had a good post orgasm cry, I had a good time. “I will.”

  He looks surprised as I wink at him and leave his room to go shower. My body feels deliciously sore, and I don’t regret last night. Although, I feel slightly worried about him being my roommate.

  And okay, maybe about getting attached.

  I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time, not since I let my high school boyfriend talk me into going to the movies with him on a Friday night and left Trey with Mom. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. And when I got home, she was passed out on the couch, and her fucking waste of space boyfriend was high and trying to get Trey to snort coke with him.

  A sickening pain in my stomach makes my fists clench at my side. He was mine to protect, and I let him down.

  I tried so damn hard to take care of hi
m. I was so pissed-off at my boyfriend at the time, I broke up with him and ignored his every attempt of trying to get back with me. All I cared about was keeping Trey safe, and then in the end, none of it mattered.

  He’s still gone.

  The emptiness takes over, and I climb out of the shower, getting ready on autopilot. I go to work and still feel like I'm floating in numbness.

  The reprieve last night with Jase was nice, but I'm back in hell now.

  “You alright?” I look over as Tommy places my drink order on my tray.

  “I’m fine. Why?”

  He laughs and shakes his head at me. His smile is so bright, so friendly. “You’ve been out of it all afternoon.”

  “I’m sorry.” I straighten the beers on the tray, adjusting them so they’ll balance. “Long night.”

  He chuckles as he makes a drink for another waitress. It’s only six, but it’s three-dollar beer night, and people are here for it. “Yeah, I saw you coming out of Jase’s room this morning. I’d imagine it was.”

  I gape at him. Shit. I didn’t see him when I poked my head out the door. “You saw that?”

  He lifts an eyebrow as if to say “Why would I lie?” “Yeah.”

  “Shit.”

  He just laughs and hands off the drink to the waitress. “You’re an adult, Mya. So is he. It doesn't fucking matter if you guys had sex, at least not to us.”

  “Us? So James knows?”

  Again, he shoots me a glance, and I wave him off.

  “Of course he does.”

  “No secrets with us. That’s the rule, but it doesn't matter.”

  “I just don’t want everyone talking about it.”

  “Why? Was it bad?” He fake cringes, and I roll my eyes, laughing.

  “No. It wasn’t bad. I just don’t like the idea of everyone knowing.”

  A loud woman pushes her way to the bar and plops down, ordering a drink from Tommy loudly. He busies himself making it but still focuses on me. “Look, as long as you both are okay with your choices, it doesn’t matter. Enjoy.”

  “And if I hurt him?”

  His eyes darken, and I can’t stop the smile from spreading on my face because he obviously cares about Jase. “Don’t.”

  “What if I can’t help it? Everything I touch turns to shit.”

  He shakes his head, handing the woman her drink and accepting her fifty cent tip with a smile. “Jase is strong.”

  “You said you’re worried about him getting hurt.”

  “I am. I don’t want to see any of my friends getting hurt, you included.” He sighs, “But he’s a big boy. You tell him you don’t want a relationship, that you’re leaving as soon as you can, and he still fucks you. Then it’s just as much on him.”

  I nod my head, knowing that sounds logical, but in the back of my mind, I’m more afraid about myself.

  And I think Tommy knows it.

  “What if I get attached?” My question is a quiet whisper that makes him smile at me sadly.

  “Worse things have happened.”

  It’s not an option for me. I have to remind myself of that.

  I cannot fall for him.

  When I get home from work, all I can think about is Jase. Jase’s body. Jase’s smile. Jase’s cock. His tongue.

  It’s annoying.

  I can’t stop it. I just want another taste. More moments of euphoria where I'm not thinking about loss and grief.

  Tommy’s right. He’s a big boy, and I don’t believe he’s simple. He knows what he wants. He can handle a physical relationship.

  I’ve told him I'm leaving.

  He worked close to the same hours as me today, so he should be home. I walk to his room. The loft is quiet, and I peek in, seeing it’s empty. I decide to wait for him on his bed, letting him know exactly what I'm here for.

  Time passes, and it starts to get dark outside. Where the hell is he? And what am I still doing here? Just waiting for a guy to come home and fuck me?

  I'm losing it.

  I climb off the bed and walk to the shelf, my fingers drifting over the trophies. He really was a superstar. These aren’t participation trophies. They’re state and national championships.

  Why doesn’t he want to talk about it?

  Seems to me he has a lot to be proud of.

  “Mya?” Shit. Of course, now he comes home.

  I turn to face him, caught red-handed snooping. “Hi.”

  He eyes me with suspicion but doesn’t seem pissed. “What’s up?”

  “I um . . .” I walk toward him and away from the shelf I was just inspecting. “I . . .” Great job, Mya.

  His lips lift in a cocky grin. “You’re here for more, huh?”

  “I don’t want a relationship.”

  He nods his head knowingly and kicks his tennis shoes off, tugging his socks off right after. “Okay.”

  “I mean it. I can’t . . .”

  He lifts his shirt off, and I’m struck stupid staring at his ab muscles with beautiful ink covering parts of him.

  “Who did your tattoos?”

  He laughs, pushing his jeans down along with his underwear, leaving him in all his naked glory, completely confident and unashamed. “Why are you still dressed?”

  I smile, nerves starting to get to me. I liked having sex with him. Okay . . . I fucking loved it. But the way he held me? I think I liked that even more, which is so incredibly dangerous.

  That pulls a sexy, hearty laugh from him, and I cross my arms, again consider smothering him with a pillow. He stalks toward me, and I suck in a deep breath. “Don’t worry, just let go.”

  I think about his words the first time we had sex, when he told me to let go. and I let my body relax, finding an unimaginable orgasm waiting for me. My body tingles, thinking about that. “We’re both adults.”

  He nods his head, his finger running over the wide collar of my shirt “We are, and I’ll admit, after . . .” I watch his throat move as he swallows, worry in his eyes, “the other night, I was worried that maybe I took advantage of someone dealing with crippling grief.”

  I stiffen, and his finger traces my bottom lip. “I’m not a victim.”

  His hand cups my face. “I know that. You’re strong, and I sensed that from day one.” His eyes are intense. “So again, why are you still dressed?”

  I lean into him, my hand resting on his bare chest as I kiss him, possessing him with my mouth and letting his claim mine in return, both of us struggling for control. I’m the one who lands on the bed, pulling his body on top of mine. I just want him, and before I know it, he’s inside me.

  We both gasp as our mouths tangle, and he presses fully inside me. “Fuuuck.” His moan is primal and sexy as hell.

  “I should get a condom.”

  He should.

  I don’t want him to. “I’m on birth control, and I’d say the damage is done if you’re a dirty fucker.”

  His hand gently tugs my hair so my eyes meet his. “I’m clean.”

  “Good.” I lean up and capture his bottom lip with mine. “Because I’d have to kill you, and I kind of like you.”

  His smirk is lazy and effortless as he leans down, nipping on my neck and thrusting deeper, making my hips buck against him, taking every bit of punishment his cock has to offer.

  My hands grasp his firm ass, my nails digging in as I pull him into me. Craving him. Unable to get enough. “I’m clean too.”

  He didn’t ask, but he should know.

  I feel him smile against my neck as he slams into me, my legs sprawled with him between them. I wonder how anyone could tire of this.

  But I know I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to live in a big city.

  He pulls back, looking down into my eyes. “Where are you?”

  “I’m here.”

  He shakes his head and pulls out of me, flipping me to my stomach. I instinctively climb onto my hands and knees, moaning when he slides into me, hitting that deep delicious spot. “Oh, God.”

  “There you
are. Stay with me.”

  I arch my back and bask in his touch as one hand holds my hip and the other ventures between my legs, pinching my clit. A strangled, turned-on cry escapes my mouth as he hits me deep.

  “I kinda hate how well you already know my body.”

  “No, you don’t.” He pinches my clit again as I move against him at his mercy. I feel the orgasm taking hold, and my body writhes with pleasure underneath him.

  There’s no time for reprieve as he continues to move inside me while I come down. His hand finds my nipple and pinches, but not enough to hurt.

  “Jase . . .” I push back against him as he moves forward, our bodies in sync, and it feels so damn good.

  “Yes?”

  My body tenses again when his cock hits the sweet spot inside and causes my eyes to pinch shut. “I’m coming again,” I softly whimper as he thrusts forward, his body punishing and rewarding all the same time.

  I feel his cock jerk inside as he fills me with his release. Both of us are lost in ecstasy. He pulls out of me and lays down at my side. “Holy fuck.”

  I smile, oddly proud as his chest fills with air and then deflates with his rapid breathing. “Yeah.”

  He rolls to his side, propping his head up on his hand. “I have somewhere I have to be, but I’ll be back soon.”

  I have to ask. “Where are you going?” I give him a pointed, no bullshit look. “For real.”

  He stands up and grabs a pair of jeans, tugging them on. “A meeting.”

  I sit up, vulnerable and still naked, filled with his cum, “What kind of meeting?”

  He grabs a clean shirt from his closet and tugs it on. “NA.”

  “Narcotics?” I feel sick. “You’re a fucking addict?”

  “No.” He looks completely serious. He could pass a fucking lie detector test right now with how calm he answers me with his lie.

  “You just said you’re going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.”

  He nods. “I am. I go twice a week.” He seems defensive. But if I were lying, I guess I would be too. All addicts are fucking liars.

  A sinking feeling settles in my belly. “How could you not tell me that?”