Recovery

by Nicole Dykes

“You’re insane.”

  I chuckle as I find her lacy panties under the skirt of her dress and slide them down her toned legs, kneeling before her. Her hands find my shoulders, her nails digging into the skin as my mouth finds the inside of her thigh.

  “Your voice does crazy things to me.”

  I feel her laugh, but it quickly turns into a gasp when my tongue finds her slit. “Already wet for me.” I find her clit and circle around it. “I fucking love that.”

  She moans softly, her fingers sliding through my hair, pulling me into her. “Yes.”

  I press one finger into her, marveling at the way she grips me and then I slide another in. Her hips buck forward, chasing release. I want nothing more than to give it to her.

  I watched her on that stage. I listened to every single note she sang. Maybe she doesn’t love singing like she used to. I’m certain she isn’t looking to be famous, but I heard every bit of emotion she expelled through each note.

  Every lyric she sang held her anguish. It was like watching someone break free, even if it was only for a moment.

  And it was a beautiful thing.

  It’s nearly the same as when she comes. She allows something—someone—to take her pain away. I’ll be that for her for as long as she lets me.

  Her hands curl into my hair as I lick her, bringing her body closer and closer to pleasure.

  I laugh against her, causing her to moan. I let my hands slide to her firm ass, pressing my tongue into her. Her hips again buck against me, fucking my tongue, and I groan, my cock aching to be inside her, jealous of my own fucking tongue.

  “I should be bored with you by now,” she moans softly, her nails digging into my scalp.

  I don’t want to hear that and decide to punish her clit. Moving my mouth to the bundle of nerves, I suck it into my mouth, causing her to shudder.

  “Fuuuuck. Jase.”

  I move back to a gentler touch, circling with my tongue and then switch back to sucking before nipping gently with my teeth. She lets out a surprised squeak, and I swiftly soothe the ache with small circles.

  “I’m going to come,” she moans, her fingernails now in my neck.

  I don’t let up now, licking her clit as she bucks against me, writhing. Her moans harden my dick until I can’t fucking take it any longer. She’s barely over the orgasm before I stand, lifting her dress off her, mashing my lips against hers.

  Her hands find the button on my jeans, and she has me naked before we make it to the bed. Her legs part for me, and I thrust inside, unable to get enough of Mya. Her constant reminder that this is temporary only adds to the frantic feeling I have as I slide inside her over and over.

  Her pussy clenches around me, and her heels dig into my ass as she pushes me deeper inside, and I know she’s fighting the same battle I am. I fucking need this woman like I’ve never needed anything else. I take her as she gives herself to me.

  She says this is temporary. I know she believes it, but I’m not letting this girl go.

  We both lie on my bed on our backs, panting, sweating, and sated.

  Even at the worst part of my life, I didn’t feel as out of control as I do when I think about her leaving. Would I even survive it?

  “Please tell me you plan to sing more often?”

  Her body is suddenly wracked with laughter as I turn to look at the most beautiful fucking sight I’ve ever seen. Mya, completely naked, freshly fucked, and laughing freely. “Well, if you’ll fuck me like that every time I do, I suppose I should.”

  I laugh slightly but become serious and roll to my side. “You stopped after Trey died?”

  Her smile fades, looking up at the ceiling. “I sang to him, but I stopped taking lessons with Quinn long before that. And singing in the shower, singing for me.”

  “So, you only sang for him?”

  She nods her head.

  “You sing like you love it.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, and she presses my hand to her cheek.

  “I do, but I also hate it.” She turns her head to look at me, her cheek resting against my hand. “It reminds me too much of my mother’s voice. She had a beautiful voice.”

  I know she hates her mother. “Seems like she gave you at least one gift then. Don’t hide it.”

  She shakes her head. “She wanted to be famous, so badly. She craved fame and went to clubs, begging for someone to pay attention to her. That’s how she met my junkie father and became one herself. She never became famous, but she found a new love.”

  “That would never happen to you.”

  She sighs softly, her chestnut eyes digging into my soul. “I never wanted fame. Never. I love being on a small stage, singing my heart out. But I’ve never craved being on the big stage.”

  “So, you’d be happy singing only for me on a small stage forever?” I grin, and she brushes her hand over the stubble of my cheek.

  “I think I would.”

  And there it is.

  Not temporary. She wants me too. I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. “Good, because I can’t imagine never hearing that sound again.”

  I feel her swallow tightly, her lips pressing a kiss to mine, her breath so soft. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I could sing to you forever.”

  I kiss her, my body against hers, holding her to me.

  I’m not letting her go.

  “You and Jase together?”

  I look up from my cereal, barely awake, and stare at Finn. “What?”

  “You heard me.” He leans over the counter, still shirtless from sleeping. His hair is messy, and I see claw marks on his shoulders.

  “Is your little friend still in your room, Finn? Does she think you’re bringing her breakfast in bed?”

  He offers a wicked grin, looking over his shoulder at the marks. “Fucking catlike claws.” He shakes his head. “And no, I left her place and came back here to sleep.”

  “How romantic. So, she’ll wake up alone after fucking you, and you want to interrogate me?”

  “I’m not fucking your best friend.” His eyes narrow. “So, how about you answer me.”

  I kind of hate Finn. I know he’s Jase’s best friend. I know Tommy and James love him, and so do Quinn and Logan. But I really kind of fucking hate him.

  And then again, I don’t. I know he went through similar things that I did.

  “We sleep together every night.”

  “I’m not asking if you let him between your legs. I know that. I’m asking if you’re together. If you’re in love with him.”

  My heart squeezes tightly in my chest as I place my spoon in my cereal bowl. Love. Love has only ever brought me pain.

  I don’t want to love anyone.

  I loved my mother. She broke me. I loved Charity. She fucking left me. I loved Trey. He died.

  A tear falls from my eye, and I despise that moisture sliding down my cheek, making me seem vulnerable.

  “You are, aren’t you?”

  I hate this bastard.

  I don’t say anything. I just fold my arms over my chest and sit up straight, locking eyes with him.

  A sly smile forms on his lips. “Good. I’m glad.”

  “You’re glad I love him? I thought you wanted me to stay away from him.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “I said don’t hurt him. I don’t want to see him hurt. You love him though.”

  “I can still hurt him.”

  His gaze darkens. “Don’t.”

  I drop my hands and stare at him. “I don’t want to.”

  “Then don’t. Just don’t fucking run. He knows you don’t want to be here. I’m pretty sure he loves you too.”

  “We barely know each other.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Please. He knew you the moment he saw you. He’s good at that.”

  I smile. “You’re kind of in love with him too, aren’t you?”

  At this, he chuckles and grabs juice from the fridge, turning back to face me. “I treated him like shit when he needed me the most. He was struggling, an
d I pushed him away.”

  “You had your reasons.”

  I watch him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat uncomfortably. “It wasn’t right. He’d always been there for me. Always. And when he needed me, when I could have returned the favor, I left him behind. I was a scared little bitch who couldn’t handle seeing him that way.”

  I’m not sure I could have either.

  I close my eyes, fighting more tears and take a deep breath. “I lost my best friend too. She left, but she never came back.”

  I open my eyes and find his intent on me. “She died?”

  I shake my head slowly. “I don’t know. She just left. I knew she was in trouble, but I didn’t make her talk to me. And she left.” Pain spreads throughout my heart, and it’s unbearable to think about Charity. “I won’t just run away from Jase. I know that pain.”

  He nods, grabbing a glass and pouring juice. “I don’t trust many people, but I believe you. Don’t make me into a chump.”

  “Too late.” We both turn as Jase walks into the kitchen. He’s grinning at Finn. “You’ve been a chump since I’ve known you. What are you guys talking about?”

  Finn plays it cool, returning the juice back to the fridge. “Wouldn’t you love to know?”

  He wags his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes. But then I see Jase is holding my phone. He places it next to me. “You have a missed call.”

  I look at the number and huff, locking my phone and taking a bite of my cereal.

  I see the men share a look before Jase takes a seat next to me. “Not important?”

  “It’s a Kansas City number. I’m sure it’s just a reporter. They probably had another shooting and want to rehash all the old ones, really pull at the heartstrings.”

  Finn takes a gulp of the orange juice and wipes his mouth. “Isn’t that good? More press. Maybe they’ll find out who killed your brother.”

  I feel Jase’s body tense next to me. “Shut up, man.”

  Finn has no filter. Something else to hate, but I actually like that more than the constant coddling. “It’s okay. I can talk about it. But no. Because they don’t care. It just adds more weight to their story.”

  “Well maybe it’ll lead to more info.” Finn leans his elbows on the counter, facing me and Jase.

  “No one is going to talk. No one who actually knows. It’s code.”

  “A code that protects child murderers?” He raises an eyebrow, and I notice Jase’s hands forming tight fists.

  “That’s fucked up.”

  I don’t argue, but I don’t want to think about this either. “It is what it is.”

  Finn finishes his juice and puts the glass in the sink, looking at Jase, “I have the early shift. What about you?”

  “Nope. Late shift.”

  They bump fists, Finn gives me a tight nod and then leaves. I slowly take bites of my cereal and feel Jase’s gaze on me.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s a shitty thing to think about first thing in the morning.”

  “Not the best.” I take a bite and turn to him, crunching my cereal. “It’s okay.”

  “You working the late shift or the early one?”

  I smile. “Late.”

  His hands find my hips as he leans in, dragging his mouth over my neck. “Good. Seems like you’re mine this morning then.”

  I sigh, leaning into him. One hand slides under my thin tee and over the lacy cup of my bra, and my lips seek his. My eyes close just as his lips meet mine.

  “You know, I could eat breakfast without seeing Mya’s tits.”

  Jase groans against my mouth, and I laugh when I hear Tommy. My hand presses against Jase’s chest slightly, urging him back. “Good morning to you too.”

  He smiles. “I’m sure they’re lovely.” I laugh again as he walks to the stove, eyeing my bowl of cereal. “You guys want a real breakfast?”

  Jase slowly slides his hand out of my shirt. “They’re fucking fantastic, and yes.”

  Tommy laughs, winking at me as he grabs a frying pan. “You guys hear the forecast? Severe weather.”

  “Fuck,” Jase grumbles as I finish my cereal that Tommy clearly disapproves of.

  “Is it always storming here?”

  Jase and Tommy give me a simultaneous, “Yes.”

  Jase’s strong arm wraps around my waist. “So what are we going to do today?”

  Tommy seems intrigued. “You guys have the late shifts?” We both nod as he cracks some eggs. “Fuckers. I’m already late to work.”

  I laugh because he’s still here making breakfast. I suppose this is Logan and Quinn’s fault for hiring friends.

  I turn to Jase. “I wouldn’t mind being shown around town.”

  He looks surprised by that. I haven’t wanted to go out since I moved here, always saying how much I hate the big city. It’s still true. I still want to live in a small, safe town, but one thing has changed.

  Jase.

  I don’t want to leave him.

  “Jesus, is that hail?” Mya asks, and I nod just as I’m pelted in the face with icy rain.

  “Yup, come on.” We just got back from exploring Nashville and are climbing out of my car. It seems we’re just in time because the pouring rain has turned into hail.

  When she said she wanted me to show her around today, I thought for sure she was fucking with me. She hates it here. She wants out, but I took it and ran.

  We went to the Musicians Hall of Fame because I was pretty sure she didn’t want to go to the Grand Ole Opry. And lord knows, I didn’t want to either. But the Hall of Fame was badass. Then I took her downtown and out to a nice dinner.

  It was in the back of my mind that if maybe, just maybe, I could make the city bearable to her, she might stay.

  God, I want her to stay.

  Of course, the fucking weather isn’t working with me.

  The sky lights up, and then there’s a loud crack of thunder. “Fuck, that’s close.” I usher her inside, and we head up to our place. I flick on the lights, and Mya moves to the large window, looking out.

  I move behind her. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to stay away from windows during a storm?”

  She sighs and leans back into my body. “I’ve never been able to avoid the storm before.”

  I know she’s speaking metaphorically now. “Still thinking about that KC call?”

  She nods her head, still staring out the window. “I was never afraid of storms. Never. We had them. Some were pretty damn severe, but I wasn’t afraid. We had to stay away from the windows to avoid bullets. Could never go outside when it was dark. Could never walk alone at night. So many rules where I grew up.”

  It’s amazing the things she’s endured. My mother warned me about glass breaking during a storm. Mya was afraid someone would shoot her in the place she should have felt the safest. “No wonder you hate the city.”

  “This is pretty nice, though.” She turns around, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I wasn’t afraid today.”

  I smile, letting pride surge through me. “I’ll never let anything hurt you.”

  “Some things are impossible to stop.”

  There’s another flash of lightning and a loud crack, killing the lights and leaving us in darkness. She flinches from the loud sound.

  “Fuck, power’s out.”

  She nods against me, and I think she’s about to kiss me, but then the hail picks up, hitting the window with a fierce attack. Then I hear the sirens.

  Fuck.

  “Tornado.”

  “What?” Now, she sounds frightened.

  I take her hand. “Come on. It’s okay. There’s a basement in the bar.”

  I wonder if everyone’s already there. I haven’t checked my phone, having ignored it most of the day. If there was a weather alert, I had no idea. Mya uses hers to light the way as we walk down to the bar and find it empty. I find the door to the basement and tug it open, seeing Tommy, Logan, and James when we walk down the stairs. It’s lit up with a lantern and
a few candles.

  “Where the fuck is Quinn?” I look to Logan, who’s gritting his teeth.

  “At home with the baby.” He’s fucking worried.

  “She’ll be okay. She in the basement?” He nods. “Where’s Finn?”

  He shrugs. “Fucker won’t answer his phone.”

  God damn it.

  I turn to Tommy, who grins. “He went home with some skanky looking chick. I’m sure she has a basement.”

  “She better.” I take a seat on the bench they moved in here for just this occasion.

  Mya takes a seat next to me. “Do you think it’s bad?”

  James hands her a bottle of water. “They said it has potential to be. Where the hell have you two been? We called.”

  We share a look, and I shrug. “Tour of the city.”

  “Is that code?” Tommy wags his eyebrows.

  I laugh. “I wish.”

  Mya playfully punches me, but really my mind is on Finn. Where the hell is he? That fucker better be okay.

  “Shit.” I turn to Tommy, who’s looking at his phone. “It’s bad.” He holds up a grainy Facebook Live video from a local station of a tornado having touched down.

  “Fuck.” I watch as it rips through main street. “That’s right here.”

  He nods grimly as we hear the sounds from the storm above us inflicting damage.

  Mya looks up at the stairs as we all huddle together, and I hope it passes soon.

  Moments later, the tornado is gone, but it’s torn everything apart. We were trapped in the basement, the debris blocking us in. How we survived, I’m not sure, but thankfully we were able to reach help. It takes Fire and Rescue to open the door to the basement, releasing us from what could have easily been our graves.

  As we come out of the rubble, I peer through what used to be the bar. It’s wrecked. The windows are shattered. Tables are everywhere.

  The brick has fallen in shambles. It’s amazing how something so brief can do that much damage.

  We all stare, stunned, as Logan calls Quinn frantically.

  He reaches her and tries to find a quiet spot to talk to her in the chaos. There are news crews and people everywhere, assessing the damage. Mya looks up at me, tears in her eyes. “It’s gone.”

  I nod, looking over at the tattoo shop that’s in even worse condition than the bar. “Yeah.”