The Future Memoir of Ann Jones

by Alex Bailey

  “Yes, you did. Dona’s supposed to be helping out here, but you’re right, she rarely shows up. We’ve been steadily getting more and more business, and since she’s too damn…busy, to help, I had to hire someone.” Ben turned toward Ann.

  “Ann, this is Helga. She’s going to show you how to do the phones.” Ben made a gesture for Ann to follow Helga.

  Ann shook Helga’s hand, “I’m so glad to meet you, Helga.”

  Helga’s face changed quickly into a grin that covered her entire face. “I like your grip. I can tell a person by the chi flowing from their handshake. You’re real nice and friendly. Your pools of energy are unlocked and free-flowing.”

  “Wow, that’s a real…talent, Helga,” Ann said. “You got all that out of a simple handshake? I’m impressed.”

  “Well, come on, let me show you to my castle,” Helga lead Ann into the office she’d seen earlier.

  “This is my desk, here.” Helga sat at the desk on the right. It had a poster of the zodiac signs on the wall above it with crystals on a long string tacked onto the bottom. “You can pick any other desk in here. Which one’s your favorite?” She turned to flash Ann an enormous toothy grin.

  “I like this one over here,” Ann said, referring to the only other desk in the room. She returned Helga’s smile. She liked this quirky group of people so far. “So, you’re into the Zodiac signs, I see.”

  “Yup, and I print out each person’s daily horoscope and put it on their desk. I think it mostly ends up in the round file. What’s your birthday, Ann? I’ll print yours too.”

  “December thirty-first.”

  Helga burst out, “Capricorn! Same as me!”

  “Well, that’s the first time I’ve gotten that reaction. Usually I get that the whole world is celebrating with me, or some such thing.”

  Helga giggled, “Yeah, I guess I am a little different. Want me to read your palm? I’ve been studying up. But I don’t have anyone to practice on.”

  Ann hesitated. She didn’t really believe in palm reader-ing.

  Helga’s voice quieted, “It’s okay. Everyone around here thinks I’m loony. They won’t let me read theirs either. Why would you be any different?”

  “No, I think it’s…great that you can do that. Really. Here,” Ann stuck out her right palm, “read away.”

  Helga took Ann’s hand in her own two hands. They were soft and warm. Helga pressed Ann’s palm with her index finger. “You’ve been married. But that marriage ended. And you have two children.” Helga glanced up to see Ann’s curious expression. “Am I way off?”

  “No, everything is accurate so far,” Ann said, “I’m just surprised you can tell that by my palm.”

  “Well, like I said, I’ve been studying. I’m real glad that you let me read yours. There’s more though.”

  “Oh?”

  “Your career is going to take off,” Helga said matter-of-factly. “I guess that means you’re going to make salesperson soon.”

  Ann thought her career had already taken off, seeing as she didn’t have one before and now she did.

  “Just one more thing. I hope this isn’t too personal,” Helga said, as if everything else Ann was hearing from this stranger wasn’t already personal enough, “I don’t see another marriage in your future.”

  “Oh well, fine by me.” Ann definitely wasn’t interested in getting remarried. And besides, she didn’t believe in palm reading anyway. Although it was interesting that Helga did read her marriage and kids correctly, but that could have been a lucky guess.

  “Well, thank you Helga, that was very nice of you. I guess we should get started on the jobs I’m supposed to be learning.”

  Helga showed Ann how to use the phones, explained the filing system, and showed her how to process forms for warranties and financing. She showed her just about everything, but when Ann asked where to find the cleaning supplies, Helga replied, “Uncle Walt would be mighty hurt if anyone would take away his job. He likes sweeping and mopping and cleaning up. He likes cleaning up the cars too. So, we just stay out of his way and he’s happy as a clam.”

  When Dorothy and Walt came in, she met them for the second time, but this time was introduced as their newest employee. She didn’t know what to call Ben’s dad. She certainly didn’t want to refer to him as Santa Claus again. Since Ben called him Dad and Aunt Dorothy called him Walt and Helga called him Uncle Walt, she tried Mr. Jallopenson, but he would not hear of it.

  “Call me Walt, or Uncle Walt,” he insisted.

  So far, Ann was loving working at Jallopenson and Sons and with Helga’s predictions about her soaring career, she couldn’t wait to see what was in store for her future.

  Chapter 12

  Ann’s first week at her new job far exceeded her expectations. She liked the praise everyone bestowed upon her and was exhausted at the end of each day. But she felt good about being exhausted. She especially loved the daily horoscope readings Helga gave her. She never knew working at a job could be so fulfilling. She had loved staying home to raise her kids, but she never got the satisfaction of someone telling her she’d done a good job until now. She couldn’t wait to get to Knitting Club and tell Dona all about it.

  On Wednesday, Ann rushed home after work, fed Honey, and took her for a walk. Then she popped in a frozen pizza and collapsed into the living room sofa to wait for the buzzer. When the timer went off, she realized she’d dozed for a few minutes.

  Honey smelled the cheesy goodness of the pizza and begged at the table. Ann, always having a soft heart for her pet, rose and got her a doggy biscuit while she finished her own meal. Then she quickly washed the few dirty dishes she’d used and headed out the door to the knitting club meeting.

  When Freda opened the door, she gave a heavy sigh.

  “What’s wrong?” Ann asked. Freda looked like she’d lost her best friend. “Oh no, is Princess okay?”

  “No, I mean, yeah, she’s fine,” Freda said in her usually gruff voice. “It’s just that I think some of the gals come to expect those cookies of yours. Not really fair to you though. You’re not obligated. I didn’t make anything, thinking you were—”

  “I completely forgot. Not that I would have had the time to make them. I got a job!” Ann’s enthusiasm for her job couldn’t dispel Freda’s disappointment of not bringing cookies.

  “Wonderful, doll. That’s just great,” Freda said, “now you go on and join the others downstairs. I’ll dig up something.”

  Ann was frustrated with herself for disappointing Freda. She’d been so preoccupied and excited about her job and all the new things she was learning, she hadn’t even thought about making cookies. She hoped the others wouldn’t be too annoyed with her.

  When Ann reached the bottom of the stairs, all the women were present. She wondered if her clock was slow. She thought she’d arrived right on time.

  “Ann, you’re here!” Gloria announced. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

  “And for your cookies!” Bubbles chirped.

  When the women saw the look on Ann’s face, their eyes darted down to her empty hands.

  Tijuana Charley had been scampering down the stairs, but when his owner spoke, he turned around and headed back upstairs. “Don’t tell me you didn’t bring them,” Michelle blurted out.

  “Any chance Freda’s got them all to herself upstairs?” Amanda asked as her hands trembled. She got up for a water bottle to accompany her pill bottle. Phil, her sugar glider, remained hidden in his usual spot behind her neck.

  Ann shook her head no. “Sorry guys. Really, I am. I got a job though!” She was hoping for a happier reaction to her news.

  “Yay,” Jasmine rolled her eyes.

  “Wonderful,” Ele said matter-of-factly.

  “Come now, don’t be peasants,” Gloria defended her friend, “we all knew Ann was on a search for employment and we shall not begrudge her of her happiness. We all have jobs, haven’t we?”

  “I don’t,” Dona said pointedly, stroking Lady Adora
Belle in her lap.

  Ann scooted through the circle to take her place on the sofa between Gloria and Dona. “Well, it was because of you, Dona, that I have this job. I got the job at your brother’s car dealership.”

  “We get a lot of business our way from them,” Mindy momentarily glanced up from Testudo’s bowl.

  “I know,” Ann said. “Ben just gushed about what a great service station you have. He said we’re always supposed to recommend customers looking for service to your shop.”

  Mindy beamed. “Oh, that’s nice.”

  “So, this is my brother’s doing, eh? Does this mean he’s finally gotten rid of that idiot cousin of mine?”

  Ann ignored the comment. “I really do want to thank you, Dona. It’s been the best thing to happen to me since I moved here.”

  The women glared at her in unison.

  She knew immediately she’d said the wrong thing and quickly recanted, “Well, okay, the second-best thing. I really love this job though.”

  “My brother will be hearing from me,” Dona scorned without looking up from her beloved pet.

  Freda stomped down the basement steps with a platter of partially-frozen brownies. “I made these a few weeks ago, but when Ann brought her cookies, I had plenty left over. Feel free.”

  “Awesome!” Ele shouted, as she shooed Superstition off her lap to retrieve a Freda-made brownie. “No offense to you, Ann, but I just really love Freda’s brownies. They remind me of the brownies my grandmother back in Mexico used to make. They’re so spicy!”

  “None taken,” Ann said. “I’m glad Freda had something for everyone. She glanced at Mindy, who was fixated on her fish bowl. “Well, almost everyone. Mindy, I’m sorry.”

  Mindy muttered, “It’s fine.”

  No one else budged from their seats.

  “Come now ladies, it’s not Ann’s responsibility to provide the refreshments,” Gloria said. “It’s been quite lovely of her to do so these past few weeks.” Gloria stroked Diablo, who was sitting in her lap. “But it’s not fair to expect it every week. Ann has a life as well.”

  When Michelle sat in her seat, she sniffed the air, and then scrunched her nose. “Damn, girl! What are you wearing?” She waved the air in Jasmine’s direction.

  Jasmine grinned and sat up straight. “I’ve got a date after our meeting, so I put on a little perfume.”

  Freda interjected, “Then you must be anxious to get this show on the road. Let’s get started.”

  As the women rose and joined hands, Freda placed the disturbing portrait on the coffee table in the center of the group. Bubbles marched to the light switch and then took her place among the group already holding hands. Freda had just finished lighting the candles.

  Ann still couldn’t figure out the weird chant, but the thing that creeped her out the most was the cold fixated eyes of the woman in the portrait. She was desperate to know who she was. She also couldn’t seem to shake her gaze. The woman seemed to be staring directly at her again, which sent shivers up the back of Ann’s neck.

  The group chanted in unison:

  The secret of love and loss we’re aware;

  We know what we’ve done, our penance to share;

  Always grateful is thy circle of shame;

  We know what we owe, and we owe in your name.

  When Freda removed the painting and they sat, Ann grabbed the opportunity and whispered to Gloria, “Who is that? In the painting?”

  Before Gloria could answer, Freda stole the stage. With an incredibly large smile, and gruff voice, she announced, “That my dear, is our founding sister.”

  “And the person you replaced,” Jasmine blurted out.

  There was a hush as everyone froze. Freda’s face burned. She jumped out of her seat. Her cold stare bore a hole through Jasmine’s peeked grin. Slowly she spoke, “No one, I mean no one, could ever replace Lil Dorsey. And don’t you forget it. Ever!”

  Jasmine slowly nodded, like a child who had just been sent to the time-out chair.

  Ann felt sympathy for Jasmine, but also wondered what she meant when she said she’d replaced Lil Dorsey. If Lil were the founder of the club, Ann had no intention of taking over the group.

  Freda quickly recovered and sat back in her chair, explaining further in a matter-of-fact tone, “Lil Dorsey created the knitting club after her husband died.”

  Bubbles tried to stifle a gasp, but it slipped out anyway, much to Freda’s irritation.

  Give that woman an inhaler, would you?

  Freda clenched her jaw and continued, “She was having a baby and needed support around her.” Freda glanced at Ann, and saw the questioning look on her face. “Questions? Better to ask now, get ‘em off your chest.”

  “Was the baby a daughter? Leila?” Ann wondered aloud.

  “She was…is,” Freda nodded. “Wonderful girl. Owns her own business, now that Lil’s passed. We practically helped raise that girl. We, the gals in the knitting club.” Freda asked, “Something else?”

  “So, Lil must have died recently,” Ann remembered the day she met Leila and she’d learned of Leila’s loss.

  “Yes, she did.” Freda said with a disheartened look. “But how do you know that?”

  Ann didn’t want to reveal she’d been out with Dona’s brother, as it would just precipitate more questions. And since there really wasn’t anything to it, she didn’t feel like being grilled, so she explained, “A new acquaintance took me to her coffee shop, and they were talking about it.”

  Ann figured out the meaning behind Jasmine’s comment about how she’d taken her place, she must have meant since Lil died recently, and Ann joined recently, it appeared she’d taken her place. It was an understandable mistake. But purely coincidental. No one takes a place in a club; members come and go all the time.

  Freda said, “Well, then, if that’s all, let’s get started. Who wants to take their turn?”

  “Oh, I’ll go,” Jasmine said.

  “Hoping to make up some of your lost brownie points with Freda?” Dona accused.

  Jasmine scowled, “I don’t—”

  “Ladies!” Freda scorned. “Move on! Jasmine, get started.”

  All heads bowed once again. Ann didn’t know if this was part of the ritual or if everyone had just heard the story before and didn’t want to be caught napping. Ann decided this time she’d work on her afghan project and dug into her knitting bag for her yarn. There was plenty of light from the glowing candles.

  Jasmine unwrapped her bun and let her poorly-dyed burgundy hair fall loose. “I had a fabulous childhood,” she said with a cheesy smile. “We lived in the biggest house in town, some of you would call it a mansion, I suppose.”

  Dona folded her arms across her chest. “Hmpf, I doubt that.”

  Jasmine rolled her eyes and said, “You think you’re the only rich bitch around, don’t you!”

  Freda scolded, “I’m warning you, Ms. Hightower! If I hear one more peep out of you…”

  Jasmine crossed her legs and bounced her foot, her pump almost slipped off. She leaned away from Dona, then continued, “And it was always warm there, but we had a nice breeze off the ocean. Far away from this hell…”

  Freda shot Jasmine a look that could kill, and Jasmine shifted uneasily in her chair.

  “Okay so, where was I? Oh yes, my fabulous childhood. What can I say? My parents adored me—I was an only. They doted on me every chance they got. Birthday parties were out of this world. Ponies, magicians, jugglers, you name it. For my sixteenth birthday, my parents threw me a blow-out party.”

  Jasmine took a deep breath. “That’s when I met Edmundo. His parents were catering the party and he was there to serve me.” Jasmine giggled. “And my guests.

  “He was so handsome. He had jet-black hair and matching eyes. He rolled his sleeves up with a pack of cigarettes in them like back in the 1950’s. He was the coolest thing I’d ever seen and all the girls were chasing after him. But he only had eyes for me.” She smiled, cocked her head side
ways, and batted her eyelashes.

  “My birthday cake was the best cake ever; it was a life-sized replica of me holding a sign that said, ‘Eat Me!’ What could be sweeter than that?”

  Freda kept a close eye on Dona, who remained remarkably silent after Jasmine’s comment.

  “Edmundo shoved his phone number in my hand when he served me a piece of cake. Knowing my parents would never approve, I quickly stashed it away in my bra. When he saw me do that, I could see the look of lust on his face. I knew he wanted me as badly as I wanted him.

  “Edmundo watched me dance from the edge of the huge tent his parents had set up for the food. I could feel his eyes all over me. I glanced at him from time-to-time but I didn’t want to make it obvious I was interested in him. But let me tell you, I certainly was.

  “A few nights later, I met him at a park in the city, where there were lots of people, so no one really noticed us. We stayed until one o’clock that morning. When I got home, I had a lot of explaining to do. But my parents believed every lie I ever told. So, I got away with it. Just like everything else.” Jasmine flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

  “We started sneaking around every chance we got. Edmundo lived in a modest house on the opposite side of the city. It was always hot at his house; he didn’t get the nice ocean breezes like we did. His parents were very nice, but somewhat reserved. They didn’t disapprove of our relationship; they just didn’t like us keeping it such a secret from my parents. But my parents never would have understood.

  “We went on like that for several years. I dated other guys my parents would have approved of, but I explained to Edmundo it was only a front, so they wouldn’t question me about where I was going all the time. I was having the time of my life—having my cake and eating it too, so to speak.

  “When I graduated from high school and was ready to leave for college, Edmundo wanted to come with me. But he couldn’t. He had to help his parents with their catering business. When I got pregnant that summer, he wanted me to keep the baby and marry him. Edmundo was Catholic, and very religious. I was raised Catholic as well. But I couldn’t marry him; I had to finish my education. And I wasn’t done having fun before settling down. I wasn’t ready for marriage. So, I had an abortion, then left to study abroad.”