The Future Memoir of Ann Jones

by Alex Bailey

  Ann’s face turned a nice shade of crimson. She didn’t believe Dona was aware Ann was dating her brother. And for her to be speaking in such a crude manner about her brother, was not the way she would win Dona over if things continued to progress with Ben the way they had been recently.

  “So,” Dona’s nose shot up to the fifth floor again, “you and my beloved brother…are…seeing each other?” She glared down upon Ann waiting for an answer.

  “Yes, they certainly are,” Gloria jumped in. “And they make quite the handsome couple, too.”

  Ann was grateful to have a friend as brash as Gloria.

  Dona didn’t say another word, didn’t help herself to the cookies, or even glance in Ann’s direction. She simply took her seat on the sofa next to Ann and turned her body toward Freda’s chair. The rest of the group filed in while Dona pursed her lips.

  Once the meeting got underway, Freda asked, “Who would—”

  “I would!” Dona demanded. “I believe it’s about time I said my two cents.” She shot an evil glance Ann’s way.

  Ann pulled back into Gloria’s shoulder.

  Dona sat up straight. “As you all know, my name is Dona Hightower. I’m forty years old…”

  Several women cleared their throats, but no one said a word.

  “Some say I was raised in privilege. Some say I was well-to-do. But I say we were a distinguished family in a distinguished town. I had my trials and tribulations just like everyone else.”

  Ann glanced around the group as she pulled out her knitting project. Eyes rolled, like a stadium crowd doing the wave.

  “My father owned a series of dealerships for fine automobiles,” Dona then whispered under her breath, “Nothing like that dive place he has now.

  “My mother hosted the garden club and kept very busy planning her various charity events. My brother and I were brought up to be a proper young man and lady and we had a no-nonsense household. Mother kept a strict schedule for us and made sure we were on time for all obligations.” Lady AdoraBelle jumped up onto her lap and Dona scratched her head while continuing.

  “We raised the finest breed of Yorkies one has ever seen. When I was thirteen, I entered my beloved Peppermint Patti, in the annual American Kennel Club show. PP and I …” Gloria snickered, but Dona ignored her… “had trained for this show for quite a long time. PP was looking forward to it quite a bit. But a tragedy befell me. I came down with the worst case of Whooping Cough our Mayo-Clinic-trained physician had ever seen. Tragically, we had to drop out of the show. This was one of the darkest days of my life.” Dona gazed sadly down at Lady AdoraBelle.

  “PP never got over the disappointment and grew weaker and weaker until I found her one day barely able to make it up the flight of stairs of one of our spiraling staircases in the center hall foyer. Mother picked her up and took her to our veterinarian who had more letters after his name than in it. He was an expert at every disease known to the animal kingdom, but he simply could not find a cause for PP’s lethargy. But I knew. I knew in my heart PP was disappointed in not being entered into that dog show. She certainly would have taken the best in show ribbon. Sadly, the vet gave us the tragic news on my fourteenth birthday.”

  Dona had a single tear in her eye and she wiped it away slowly for all to see. “That was the second worst day of my life. Mother had planned a huge party in the garden. The theme was glitter and glitz, and the more of it the better. The entire eighth grade was invited and it was going to be splendid. I had a fourteen-tiered cake—one tier for each year and each one was a different color. The bottom, and largest layer, was in gold leaf. The next layer was silver; the next was a bright copper, just like the bust of Great Grandfather Edmund sitting in the library amongst his favorite authors. And so on to the top where there was a star that lit up and shot fireworks from the tip. Mother invited Led Zeppelin to perform for all my little friends.”

  Ann was stunned, but kept silent. She couldn’t imagine the down-to-earth Ben that she’d come to know, could have been raised in this environment. And Walt, Ben’s dad seemed more like Santa Claus than a strict father. She couldn’t imagine Ben or Walt living like Dona described.

  “Can you even imagine? ‘Stairway to Heaven’ on your own stairway? Alas, it would not happen. How could I enjoy myself on the very day we were told PP would never compete again? I know, I know. You would certainly have done the same. I called off the party and lay in my room, crying like a baby for hours. Mother offered to have the party the next weekend, but I was just not up to hosting it a week later. It actually took me quite a while to recover from that loss. PP stuck it out though. She was a real trooper and she was with us another ten years, but they were not the same. Without the competition, it was as if she didn’t exist.”

  Ann desperately wanted to say something. She held it in, but wanted to blast, Yes, I see how tragic your childhood was compared to oh…let’s say…Paris Hilton’s childhood.

  “From that day forward, my Yorkie-showing days were no more.” Dona threw the back of her hand to her forehead. Ann wanted to gag. “I won’t even own that breed today. The passion was extinguished on my fourteenth birthday and all of you know how that feels. To have a passion ripped from your breasts, like having your Malibu vacation home fall off of a cliff.

  “Then I grew up, went to college, and traveled the world. It was fabulous. While I was on one of my cruises with a group of friends, Mother died. I couldn’t get home for the funeral. I sent a telegram for my brother, Ben, you all know my dear brother, Ben. The one who works like a dog at that filthy, auto dealership.” Dona took a deep breath.

  “Anyway, I sent the telegram for Ben to read at the funeral. I talked about my childhood and what a darling mother she had been, keeping us all on time with our schedules, and how much we would miss her. And how we might be late to extended-family events in the future. It was such a nice cruise. The Mediterranean in September. My opinion is it’s the best time to go. No noisy crowds, all that nasty heat has dissipated. Barcelona was divine. And I do recall a very interesting night in…”

  Ann glanced up from her afghan while Dona looked around the group. “I traveled a lot and then when I was ready to settle down and try maybe doing something, my father and brother had uprooted the family to this dreaded place. I had no choice. I had to join them. My only comfort was that I could always just jump right back on a ship if need be.

  “Of course, we only ran with the best families. As most of you know, Timothy Hightower was mayor of this fine town. Tim was quite a bit older than me, about twenty-two years my senior. He had a wicked laugh and an awkward sense of humor. He’d been divorced, but at least his children were grown and nowhere to be seen. In fact, I met them at the wedding and didn’t see them again, until…Well, I’m getting ahead of myself.

  “Tim and I met at the home of one of Father’s business associates, the Downeck’s. It was quite an intimate cocktail party with singles mingling among the married hosts. Tim struck up a conversation about the necklace I was wearing. It had been passed down to me by my maternal grandmother. Platinum., in the shape of the great state of Georgia. It had a sapphire to signify Atlanta. The sapphire matched my gown exquisitely, and Tim said it also matched my eyes.”

  Ann shuffled her feet, knowing full well Dona had eyes the shade of muck.

  “Tim was a handsome devil, yes he was.”

  Gloria made a slight squeal, stifling it by putting her hand over her mouth and forcing a cough.

  “He had dark wavy hair and when I wasn’t wearing heels he was taller than me.”

  Gloria glanced sideways at Dona. No one noticed except Ann, who smiled to herself.

  “Boy, could he shake a leg. That first night, in the grand ballroom, an orchestra was playing my favorite song, ‘Toccata and Fugue in D minor’ by Bach. But no one was dancing. Tim asked me if I would accompany him onto the dance floor. I agreed, graciously. Tim dipped me at the highest note. At that moment, I looked into his eyes, his strong arms held me just
above the floor. I felt safe in those arms. Soon everyone poured into the room, first to watch us, but when they saw our elegance and grace, they joined in. It was a fabulous time. And I think I fell madly in love with him that very night.

  “Once we met, well, Tim couldn’t stand to be away from me for a single moment. He pursued me voraciously and I certainly wasn’t resisting the wealthiest and most prestigious man in the state. It wasn’t long before Tim proposed.

  “He arranged a dinner at the home where we’d met. We had such a lovely meal of striped sea bass with thyme and lemon. For some reason, the Downecks disappeared after dinner. Tim had hired the same orchestra from the night we met and we were left alone in the dance hall. When they began to play Toccata and Fugue in D minor by Bach, my heart raced. When Tim dipped me just like the first time, he said it would be his honor and privilege to be my husband. And I simply said, of course it would. He straightened me up and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on anyone.”

  Gloria mumbled under her breath, “Because he was quite concerned his back would give out if he held you like that for one more second.”

  Ann coughed and covered her mouth with the crook of her arm to stifle an outburst.

  “I was in tears when he lifted me up into his arms,” Dona continued. “I started planning my wedding that very moment. I had kept in contact with my sorority sisters and called them all when I returned home that night. I suppose it was a bit unthinking on my part, as it was quite late, but I just had to share my news with them. They are, after all, my sorority sisters.

  “It was the grandest of affairs. We were married right there in the Mayor’s mansion, which made for the perfect wedding backdrop. The ceremony was held in the garden with 443 guests. And I chose twenty-three of my dearest and closest sorority sisters to be my bridesmaids. Some of you who lived in Burrburgh then would have seen the coverage in the local newspaper. We had television crews staked outside the mansion and a helicopter flew above. It was quite annoying, as I could barely hear myself saying my own vows.

  “None the less, we were married and honeymooned in Greece. We quickly settled into our roles as Mayor and First Lady of Burrburgh. Ah the parties! We hosted our sister city abroad, Landshut in Bavaria. And we traveled there on more than one occasion. It’s the most beautiful, most romantic place I’ve ever seen, other than the Downeck’s glorious dance hall.”

  “Gag, gag, gag!” Gloria whispered, turning away from Dona so she couldn’t be heard.

  Amanda snickered out loud.

  Ann bent over pretending to tie her shoe in order to hide the look on her face. If she could, she’d have run out screaming in laughter.

  Dona continued without notice. “The marriage was a match made in heaven. We were gloriously happy. Not a single thing could have been done to improve its perfection. And so it went, until Tim’s reelection campaign.”

  Dona’s voice quieted, “At first I thought it was merely the pressure of working too hard. He was opening stores, hitting boats with champagne bottles, and attending numerous public meetings. His opponent was an evil ferret-faced man, Roscoe Tanner, who was bound and determined to take Tim’s office that he’d held for more than fifteen and three-quarter years.

  “But it only drove Tim to work harder and longer hours. When he heard rumors of Tanner’s extra-marital escapades, Tim hired a private investigator to elicit the truth and use it against Tanner. Unbeknownst to Tim, Tanner had done the same. Only, Tim was not a dog. He was faithful to me and so there was nothing found by his PI.

  “Clear out of the blue along the campaign trail, I had an episode where I blacked out. It was no big deal really. A slight fainting spell. I swooned, that’s all. Hadn’t eaten properly that day with all the campaign events. But Tim insisted I take better care of myself and get a complete checkup. The very next day, I made an appointment to see the renowned Dr. Lunate, physician to the President, himself.”

  “Truman, perhaps?” Gloria whispered.

  Ann twisted in her seat and smiled at Gloria.

  Dona either wasn’t aware of Gloria’s sarcastic remark, or didn’t care, as she continued, “He took blood samples and checked me thoroughly. He also sent me for an MRI of my head. Turns out, that I had a slight anemia and the doctor suggested I eat some red meat. I must say, I am not a fan of red meat, so it was understandable that I would have a deficiency.

  “I asked the doctor to send the results in the mail so I could show Tim, and alleviate his worries. I believe Tim got to that report before I did, because I never saw the envelope. I noticed the report late one night in Tim’s office under some papers. A post-it note stuck to it, read, ‘divorce her’. It wasn’t Tim’s handwriting, so I assumed it was that of the private investigator.

  “I was distraught when I read it. I couldn’t imagine why he would write that. I picked up the physician’s report and read “Psychosis” and it had been underlined. There had obviously been some mix-up with the report and I was determined to speak to the private investigator about it in the morning. But, when I went back in the morning to speak to him, he was gone and so was the medical report.”

  Ann had a feeling she knew how this story was going to end. As odd as the coincidence was, she had come to the conclusion that no one in the room had a living husband.

  Dona’s voice cracked as she sped up, “I frantically searched the mansion for Tim, but he was nowhere to be found. I finally met up with the investigator in the garden. He had the report in one hand and a gun in the other. He told me Tim was about to divorce me, but the PI had talked him into getting rid of me, so I wouldn’t leak my condition to the press. He couldn’t take a chance that Tanner’s PI would find out I was psychotic. I was terrified and had nowhere to run as the garden is a large open space, with rather short flowering plants, mostly. It was such a lovely garden. My favorite flowers were the delicate soapworts. And there was a monstrous hydrangea in the center…”

  Dona sat up straight. “But I ran anyway, and as I did, the investigator began shooting. He was a terrible shot for being in his profession. He caught up to me and we struggled. When Tim heard the shots, he came running out of the house and as he did, the gun went off and shot him in the chest. He died waiting for the ambulance.

  “Because we were struggling at the time, and it was a complete accident, the PI was charged with manslaughter. I fully cooperated with the police. They believed me, the First Lady of Burrburgh, over some lowly PI who gave a completely inaccurate account of the events. He said I was the one who came after him with the gun. I suppose it didn’t help that the gun had been registered to me. I still don’t understand how he retrieved it from the locked box hidden among my shoe boxes. I have well over twelve hundred shoe boxes; how he found the one with the gun inside is still a mystery.

  “No matter. The fact was, Tim was dead. And he lost the election, and Tanner wanted to move in on my territory. I was not about to leave my beautiful home with all its lovely memories. But I was forced to several months later and moved into my father’s mansion in town. It’s a lovely home, don’t get me wrong. It’s just not mine, you see.

  “A short time later, Freda approached me about this little knitting club. My reaction was probably not the most pleasant, as I regard knitting as something the retired class would enjoy. I must admit Freda was extremely persistent and quite persuasive,” Dona shot a sickening look toward Freda, who returned it in kind.

  “With that, I think we’re all done for tonight.” Freda stood and headed toward the stairs.

  Chapter 23

  “Thanks Ben, I really did need the break,” Ann said, as she sipped a cup of coffee in the Green Bean. She took a bite of her apple-pie muffin, closed her eyes, and enjoyed its delightful gusto.

  Ben puffed out his chest and smirked. “If you’d just listen to me, you’d know that I know what’s best.”

  Ann had finally learned to ignore Ben’s seemingly egotistical comments.

  “I had a feeling you’d like sky diving,” Ben sai
d. He snatched his pastry and shoved a huge bite into his mouth.

  “I’m not really the thrill-seeker type, Ben. But that was kind of…well, it took my mind off things for a bit. That’s good enough for me.”

  “Are you saying you didn’t really enjoy it though? Come on, Ann, I know you loved it. I saw your face. You looked as if a whole new world opened up for you.” Ben reached across the table and wiped crumbs off of Ann’s cheek.

  “Okay, I admit it did take my breath away.”

  “Well, hello you two,” Leila interrupted. “Looks like you’ve been enjoying yourselves.”

  “Yeah? What gives it away?” Ben asked.

  “Your hair, for one. Looks like you’ve been through a wind tunnel.”

  “Sky diving,” Ben said.

  “I wasn’t going to ask,” Leila winked. “It’s none of my business what you’ve been up to.”

  “Seriously. It was sky diving,” Ann said.

  “Okay, okay, I know when I’m not wanted. I guess I should just leave you two alone. To…uh, do whatever it is you were doing.” Leila smiled to herself as she turned to leave.

  “Wait, come back,” Ben called.

  Leila returned to the table.

  “We haven’t talked in forever. How the hell are you doing?”

  “I’m better. As time goes on, it gets easier. Helps that business is good, keeps my mind busy.” Then Leila turned to Ann and said, “My mom passed a few months ago.”

  “Yes, I remember you and Ben talked about it when I met you. I’m so sorry, Leila. Were you two very close?”

  Leila nodded. “We were best friends. My dad died when I was very young, so it was just me and Mom while I was growing up.”

  Something hit Ann at that moment.

  “She had a sharp tongue, that Lil did,” Ben said. “I remember the time I came in here and she about tore my head off because I asked for a plastic cup to go. She’s the one who whipped me into the green mode.”