The Future Memoir of Ann Jones

by Alex Bailey

  “I’m going home,” Ann answered, then turned back to Gloria and said, “I leave in the morning. I can’t wait.”

  Ignoring Ann, Dona turned to Freda, “Where’s Jasmine? We really should be getting started.”

  Gloria looked up from her cookie pile and pleaded with Ann, “You don’t have to leave just because Benjamin fired you.”

  Dona sat up straight, looking as if she’d won the grand prize at the dog show. She crossed her legs and bounced her five-inch heels up and down. As usual, she was dripping in gaudy. She directed her comment to Ann, without looking in her direction, “Precisely because of your firing, the family name is being shattered, as my niece has decided to become the next Merlin, or something.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  Ann let the comment pass. She didn’t want to get into an altercation with Dona. Since she was about to get on a plane, even Dona couldn’t bring her down. Instead, she responded to Gloria’s comment, “That’s not the only reason I need to get away. I need a break from the stress here.”

  “Do you?” Dona looked smug, “What stress could you possibly have since you are no longer employed?”

  “I’m trying to open a business,” Ann said through gritted teeth. “It’s a lot of work, Dona. I’m sure you wouldn’t understand.”

  Dona paused and uncrossed her arms. “Quite right,” she stroked Lady AdoraBelle, “I’m sure I wouldn’t.”

  “How long are you going for?” Michelle took a large bite of her cookie.

  “Two weeks!” Ann clapped like her team had just won the tournament.

  The room fell silent, except for Bubbles’ gasp and Michelle’s choking sounds.

  Ann was more concerned about Michelle choking, so she didn’t notice the awkward silence. “Are you alright, Michelle?” She leaned forward to spring into action if needed.

  Tijuana Charley, sensing something wrong with his owner, tore down the stairs and sat attentively at Michelle’s side.

  “Fine,” she said, as she tossed Tijuana Charley a biscuit.

  The group focused on Ann. Even Mindy tore her stare from Testudo’s bowl toward Ann.

  “No can do,” Freda said matter-of-factly as she shook a finger at Ann. “Rule number one.”

  Ann looked blankly back at Freda.

  “You don’t remember rule number one?” Freda asked. “Can anyone help Ann remember rule number one?”

  In unison, the group chanted, “Never miss Knitting Club.”

  Ann was definitely creeped out. These women sounded like they were in a cult. What kind of group was so brain-washed into thinking the president of the knitting club could impose arbitrary rules on grown women? She didn’t buy it. She would not let Freda or anyone else rule her life. If these women were crazy enough to follow bizarre rules, then that was up to them, but she would not be controlled by anyone.

  “Speaking of rule number one, anyone seen Jasmine?” Freda asked.

  Silence.

  “Anyone? Anyone know anything about where Jasmine is?” Freda balled her fists in her lap, then stood and glanced at her watch. “She’s late. We all know the consequence of not showing up to Knitting Club.”

  Ann certainly did not know the consequence of ditching Knitting Club, and frankly she didn’t care. It was fine with her if she got kicked out. Who wanted to sit around each week and listen to a bunch of women tell their sob stories, anyway?

  As Michelle scampered up the stairs, she said, “I’ll check upstairs.”

  “I’ll call her cell.” Ele pulled her phone from her purse and fumbled as she tried to dial Jasmine’s number. Her hand shook as she stroked Superstition’s fur. “It’s ringing,” Ele said. “Four times.”

  The group stared at Ele’s phone.

  Ele pushed the phone’s speaker button for all to hear.

  “Jasmine here!”, a short pause, then, “actually, no I’m not really here. Leave me a message!”

  Ele whispered into the phone after the tone, “Jas, where are you? It’s Knitting Club! You need to get here fast!” She looked around the room to the desperate eyes staring back at her. She shook her head slowly. Her eyelids fluttered as though she were blinking back tears.

  Michelle clunked back down the stairs, and with her voice cracking, said, “She’s not up there. Neither is Ralph.”

  Freda’s eyes turned dark and she hung her head. “I can’t stop the consequences. They’re already set in motion.”

  Ann couldn’t believe the gloomy atmosphere that fell over the group. What could possibly be so bad that these women looked like they’d just lost their best friend? “I’m sure she has a good explanation. She mentioned recently that she might be taking a trip to Mexico.”

  “Ann,” Freda’s cold stare gave Ann an eerie feeling, “it’s out of our hands. Knitting Club rules, I’ve told you, can never be broken.”

  As Ann glanced around the room, everyone had the same distressed look. She thought about asking why not, but didn’t want to dwell on Freda’s paranoia and have it bring down her positive mood. Nothing would interfere with her euphoria of leaving Burrburgh.

  Freda sat back in her seat. “Okay, then, it looks like Ann, you’re up.”

  Ann had thought about this moment for the past several weeks. Eventually, it would be her turn to tell her story. She had decided to tell a much more upbeat, entertaining story than the ones she’d heard, especially now that everyone was already so downtrodden. She was determined to liven this group up.

  “Well, I had a great childhood. I have one brother, Jonathan, an attorney in California. He’s younger than me by slightly less than three years. I’m so proud of him, he worked his butt off to get his own firm and he’s got a great wife and two sons. We had a normal childhood, we did ordinary things any family would do, and we had great parents.”

  Ann wanted to stop there. She wanted to end the story on a happy note. But something compelled her to continue.

  “I met Tom in high school. He didn’t go to my school. He went to a rival school whose mascot was a dragon. We were proud of our Crimson Crickets. During a regional championship football game between our schools, he sat on our side of the football field with a group of his buddies and taunted the players on the field. They kept chirping at our team. It was so annoying! When my friends and I turned around to hush them, I saw his beautiful blond hair and gorgeous smile. We locked eyes for a split second; then I quickly turned back to the game. I thought he was the most gorgeous guy I’d ever seen. But we all thought he and his friends were a bunch of jerks. Tom was the good guy out of the group. He told me later, he only went along with the heckling because he didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of his friends.

  “During half time, my friends and I went to the concession stand for drinks. Tom followed and stood in line behind us. He said he was trying to ditch his friends, because he was so embarrassed to be around them. He thought they were jerks too.

  “Anyway, I turned around and we locked eyes again. He smiled and I snubbed my nose at him and flung my ponytail in his face. I think it was love at first sight, to be honest with you.

  “He tapped me on my left shoulder and when I turned to my left no one was there. I turned all the way around and saw him standing on my right with a huge grin. He was such a prankster.

  “I told him he was an asshole and then went back to my seat with my friends. Even though his friends had given up and gone to the opposite side of the field, Tom followed us and took the seat next to me. I was really glad he sat there, but I couldn’t let my friends know I liked him.

  “He asked me my name, and I ignored him. He said his name was Tom and he was sorry for his friends’ behavior; he hoped I wouldn’t hold that against him because he was a really great guy. Again, I called him an asshole. He looked devastated.

  “Then my very dearest friend, Alex, called my name. Alex and I’d been friends since childhood. We practically lived at each other’s houses. We did everything together. One day, when we were in high school, we put lemon
rinds in our hair and lounged in the sun on her patio. Because a classmate gave a presentation in Chemistry class based on a study, in which researchers found that actually putting the rind in your hair, rather than lemon juice, turned your hair three shades lighter. Sadly, we would never know those wonderful affects, as a swarm of bees surrounded our heads shortly after we sat down.”

  Freda cleared her throat.

  “Anyway, so, Alex called my name and when I looked up to see what she wanted, she was staring at Tom. He then said, ‘Well, now I know your name, Ann. Can I have your number, or do I need to hope one of your friends will shout that out too?’ I ignored him but secretly hoped he’d keep asking.

  “Tom kept scooting closer and closer to me during the game and I pretended not to notice. By the end of the game, he was practically in my lap, but I still ignored him. Alex was sitting next to me on the other side and whispered to me she thought he liked me. I told her he was an asshole and I could care less. But Alex is really smart and intuitive. She knew I was only playing hard to get. She said later that night, that she predicted we’d get married one day.

  “I don’t remember who won that game, because my attention was more focused on Tom’s scoots and pleas than the game. At the end, when we were all leaving, he blocked me from getting out of the bleacher and said he wouldn’t let me pass until I gave him my phone number. My friends had turned to go the other way but it was blocked by a group of kids who were oblivious to the fact that the game had ended. Finally, my friend Olivia shouted out my phone number, just so he would move.

  “I yelled at Olivia and pretended to be mad, but Alex smiled, because she is just so smart and could tell that’s what I really wanted. Tom looked triumphant and said he’d call and then he left.

  “Alex spent the night at my house after the game and we stayed up all night talking about Tom. How cute he was, how persistent he was, how he was the nice one of his group.

  “But Tom didn’t call right away, and I was very disappointed. It took him a week and when he did call, I hung up on him. He called right back and begged me not to hang up, he needed to explain. He apologized for not calling sooner and said his dad had died the night of the game and he’d been busy with his family and the funeral.

  “I felt horrible. Here I was being selfish and immature, playing hard to get while he was dealing with the death of his father. I was being the asshole, not him. I told him how sorry I was for calling him a name and hanging up on him. And if he let me, I would make it up to him. He accepted and I invited him over for dinner. I told my mom I wanted to cook the meal because I owed it to him.

  “I can’t remember what I made; I just know he seemed grateful to be there in a normal family setting. My parents and brother adored him and doted on him. My dad sort of became a surrogate father to him because they got along great. They both loved cars and when my dad had car things to do, he would take Tom into the garage and have him help. My brother, Jonathan was grateful, because he hated when my dad dragged him into the garage to be his gofer.”

  Ann didn’t know where all this was coming from. She tried to stop herself. She didn’t want to tell all her personal business. She wanted to make it short and sweet, but for some reason she didn’t feel she had control of her own will. She begrudgingly continued.

  “When we graduated, Tom left to go to college and I stayed home and worked in an office as a file clerk. It didn’t work very well; we couldn’t stand to be apart. We got married and moved into my parents’ basement. We had the twins the following year and my parents were a great help. Tom transferred to a school close to home and continued to go to school and then dental school while I worked. When Tom graduated, I was so proud of him. He worked in a dentist’s office for a few years, and we moved into our own apartment. I quit to take care of the twins. We then bought a small house. When Tom opened his own dental practice in an upscale part of town, we bought a beautiful home, and lived in it until I moved here.”

  Ann had no desire to continue. She desperately wanted to stop on a good note. But there was something…she felt an urge, almost as if a hand was on her back, pushing her forward. She fought against the feeling, but lost.

  “We were happy. Very happy for nineteen years. Or so I thought. The kids grew up, were well adjusted, good students, happy. Our family was a success. The twins were going to graduate from high school and then head off to college in the fall. I needed something to do in that big house all alone, so I decided to start a knitting project, of all things!”

  She glanced down at her knitting bag on the floor that contained her nearly-finished project. “I hadn’t knitted since before the twins were born, and couldn’t even find my needles, so I decided to go into town one day and get some new needles and a skein or two of yarn.”

  Her heart sped up, it was the part of the story Ann really didn’t want to tell. She clenched her jaw and willed it to stay shut, but it opened once more, “When I left the knitting store, I saw Tom stepping out of a hotel across the street. It was unusual for him to take a lunch break away from the office. I packed his lunches and he’d remind me when he was taking the staff out for special occasions not to pack him anything.”

  Ann’s heart was now pounding; her face flushed. What was she doing telling these women her most private thoughts? She didn’t understand it. She wanted to stop and at the same time, she had no strength to discontinue her story. “The hotel had a restaurant with the most fabulous cheesecake in the world. I figured Tom had just forgotten to tell me he had an office thing planned for lunch, or perhaps he just needed some dessert. When I saw one of our neighbors, Theia Peters following Tom out of the hotel, I started to cross the street to ask her for the recipe for this scrumptious hummus dip we’d just had at her house the weekend before. Theia’s a fabulous cook. I always enjoyed the parties at her house. And she’s a stunning beauty. Extremely high cheek bones.”

  Ann bit down on her tongue so hard, she thought it would bleed. But it was no use; the words tumbled out in spite of her deprived hunger to control them. “I stopped suddenly when I saw it was obvious that Tom and Theia were together. Tom turned around and very gently patted her bottom before parting. Theia blew him a kiss and I suppose that’s all he needed from her, because the next thing that happened is sort of a blur, but it involved embracing, kissing, and groping.” Ann shook her head, as if to make the scene disappear.

  “I suppose I was in a state of shock, because I turned back to the sidewalk and ambled aimlessly to my car. I was in a daze and couldn’t quite see clearly. I sat in my car a long time before I was able to drive home.”

  She fought hard against what was coming, but with no ability to control her words, she panicked. She rubbed her clammy hands together in her lap trying to dry them out, but was unsuccessful and the ooze continued to flow from her pores. “I went home and tried to think. But I couldn’t think. The only thing I could do was act. A distraction would help. I decided to clean out some things. Since the kids would be moving soon, it made sense to pack up their rooms, items they cherished and would want to keep, but knew they had no current use for. I packed Adrien’s porcelain doll collection. And Adam still had his race cars set up in his room. I figured if I started sorting things in the house, things would sort out in my mind.

  “I worked on various rooms throughout the house for the next week. But I couldn’t get the scene out of my head of seeing Tom with Theia. I couldn’t bear it any longer and decided to confront Tom with my suspicions. He admitted to having an affair with Theia and said they were in love, that Theia had kicked her husband out the day before. I was stunned, as you can well imagine. Thinking we were still in love, I was quite confused. Though, it’s kind of understandable, she is a goddess. Tom said he wanted a divorce and threatened to hide all of our assets so I wouldn’t get to them. He would leave me with nothing. And since I didn’t have a job, I’d be living on the streets.

  “He said he wasn’t sorry at all. He’d been waiting for twenty years to pay me back
for calling him an asshole and he’d finally done it. He wanted me to suffer like he’d suffered. He said no one had ever called him an asshole, and it hit him hard. Personally, I think perhaps losing his father might have had something to do with it, but I truly couldn’t figure out how he could harbor such hateful feelings all those years. To raise a family and build a life all based on revenge? It also could have been his way of justifying an affair to himself.”

  Ann knew she was almost done; it was the only thing that kept her going. Soon, it would all be out in the open and she could climb in bed and pull the covers over her head and pretend none of this had ever happened. “I decided I would leave before he could. I didn’t want to see him move in with Theia. I planned to leave the next day, but I wanted to get all the boxes I’d filled down to the basement first. I asked Tom to take them downstairs. He was actually quite pleasant about it, said sure, anything to get the house ready to be sold. Unfortunately, one of the boxes was a bit too heavy for him to handle, and he missed his footing, slid down the basement steps, and slammed hard onto the concrete floor. I ran downstairs to see what had happened. His skull was cracked open. He was lying there, dead, with the box on top of him.”

  Ann’s nerves settled a bit. She’d gotten through the worst part and lived through it. Now she was finally getting to the good part of the story, the part where she was starting a new life. The part she actually enjoyed talking about. “Our financial planner was a good friend and said everything was still in my name. He sorted everything out so I could remain in the house. But every time I went outside and saw Theia, she looked so broken-hearted. She never knew Tom had confessed to their affair before he died. After a few months of seeing Theia looking so upset, and with the kids heading off to college, I knew I had to go, but had no idea where I was going. I only knew it had to be far from everything that haunted me.

  When I searched the Internet for houses, a gorgeous two-story house in Burrburgh big enough for just me and Honey popped up at the top of the search list. I flew out for settlement, with Gloria here, and soon after, I moved in. But before I did, I was smart and made sure I got that recipe from Theia for her hummus dip. And then Freda invited me to my first meeting of the knitting club.”