'Twas a Dark and Delicious Christmas

by Stacey Espino

  Carly sighed as she got out of the shower. “Time to get dressed,” she muttered, heading over to the closet. She pulled out her uniform, donning the red velvet halter top and green pleated skirt. Her dark wavy brown hair, highlighted bright red for the Christmas holiday, hung past her petite shoulders. Although it seemed like Christmas all year round, Carly liked to put a little more effort in her appearance for the upcoming season. Staring at herself in the mirror, she began to twirl her hair up into a makeshift bun, weaving her favorite gold ribbon through her hair for the final touch.

  “Beautiful,” she whispered, nodding her approval to the mirror.

  She ran her finger along a pointed ear, a relaxing technique she became more dependant on in the last couple of months. Lately, Tittle your Winks was having some serious problems. Every day seemed like her work load dwindled. She felt worried, like something bad was going to happen. With no work to do, would she lose her job? She caressed her other ear and took a deep, calming breath.

  Carly loved her ears, and she loved being an elf.

  The clock chimed 8 pm. She reached for her black knee-high boots, slid them on and zipped them up. They were one of her favorite pairs of boots, adding about four inches to her height. She loved a chunky heeled shoe. What girl wouldn’t? Dressed and ready to go, she grabbed her keys and purse, locked the door, and headed out into the chilly night.

  Carly’s apartment was a ten minute walk from the toy shop. She passed snow covered buildings with Christmas lights and other holiday paraphernalia strewn about. Red and green decorated the streets. Everyone dressed their home up for the season. Neighbors tried to out-do one another. One set of neighbors in particular made Carly laugh whenever she walked past their houses. They were old and crabby, two of the few males in town. If one got a large snowman, then the other had to get a bigger one. Their lawns were always covered in reindeers, snowmen, Santa’s, and what seemed like a million colorful lights. Giggling as she strolled past, she wondered how much their electric bill cost.

  One apartment building in particular, located at the corner of Noel Street and

  Jingle Avenue

  , tickled her elfish fancy. The older woman who owned it, an elf of course, loved to put up the human version of their kind around her yard. No matter how cold it was outside, that building always made her warm and fuzzy on the inside. Cute pint-sized elves dressed in green and red costumes, held candy canes. To most humans, candy canes were a delicious treat, but to elves the peppermint sticks were a sneeze-fest waiting to happen. Of all the things to be allergic to.

  Along the way she stopped at the local coffee shop and picked up a French vanilla coffee and a danish to satisfy her hunger, before ascending the steps to Tittle your Winks. Pep talks became important these last couple of weeks, with work a bore and not much to do, it was hard to stay motivated. She didn’t hate her job, she just wished it could be fun again. Last year she had tons of orders to fill and all kinds of naughty little toys to make. This year, not so much. With a deep sigh, she entered the building.

  She had a terrible feeling something bad was about to happen.

  Chapter Two

  Tittle your Winks was a major corporate company in the North Pole. However, no one knew about its existence outside of the small town. The building and the interior remained in Christmas décor all year round. A huge round gold desk occupied the middle of the lobby decorated with sparkly snowflakes. Giant red and gold Christmas balls hung from the ceiling, and an oversized Christmas tree stood in the corner, covered with garland and ornaments. The tree was fake, of course—couldn't have elves vacuuming needles all day.

  Carly headed to the time clock to punch in for her shift and found her good friends, Holly and Natalie already standing there.

  “Hey girls, how’s it going?”

  Natalie was the first to punch in. “Hi, Carly, you know how it is. Same old, same old. Morale has been pretty low lately. It’s like the humans have stopped believing in sex. Maybe they’re being converted to nuns. Management has a meeting today to see how they can fix it.”

  “Really? Nuns? Can you be any more dramatic, Nat? You think management can cheer this place back up?” The humans had been less interested in sex and intimacy the past few years, which was why the shop had become such a drag. “Who would have thought testing out a brand new dildo would become dull and boring? Someone even ordered extra lubricant in the supply order last week because it's become a real chore to arouse oneself.” Carly followed suit and punched her time card and placed it in its slot.

  Walking down the hall, the girls passed the assembly room. The names of all the naughtiest people were kept in that room. An elf technician would inform the assembly team of the most requested sex toy and they would work on the construction. The next group of elves would then take the toy and enhance it, by adding paint or jewels for texture. Those elves took their job extremely seriously. Carly once mixed up the paint colors in a specially made vibrator and you would have thought the Grinch came in and stole all the whips and chains.

  After each titillating creation was constructed and painted, they were put through a testing phase—a quality control check. A merry little elf would choose a toy at random and bring it to the test room to see how it performed. The test room was an elf’s favorite retreat. Everyone wished they owned such a titillating suite. Queen-sized bed, ice blue satin sheets, candles lining the silver-white walls, and pictures of sensual couples added visual stimulation. Just looking at it was an erotic experience.

  Carly sighed, leaning against the wall as she peered through the open door. If only. To be able to test toys would be a dream come true, one she wasn’t sure would ever happen to her. Pleasure Tester, as it was called, remained the top position at Tittle your Winks, similar to an executive position in the human world. She had been waiting three years to become a Pleasure Tester and still no promotion. Maybe this year I will get it.

  Carly, Natalie and Holly reached the kitchen. This, however, was no ordinary kitchen. Sure, it had a stove, a fridge, and a microwave, but the creations that came from this place were delicious treats. Edible panties, oils, body paints and foams were all made right there in the gallery of goodness. Carly was the master chef of this domain, Natalie and Holly, her sous chefs.

  Picking up her silver apron, printed with gold snowflakes, she tied it around her waist. The list of daily orders waited for her on the beautiful red granite countertop. Carly picked up the list and glanced at it— three dozen vanilla flavored edible panties. Flipping the page over, she looked for the rest of list.

  “That’s it? There has to be something wrong.” Not only was the list the smallest she’d ever seen, but it was so drab.

  “I told you no one believes in intimacy anymore,” Natalie said.

  “It’s three days till Christmas! Doesn’t that bring joy and happiness to humans?”

  “Not anymore, it looks like.”

  Carly read the list again. “We’re going to be done within the hour, what are we going to do after we’ve made these?”

  It was Holly’s turn to speak up now. The girls had been friends since they were pint-sized elves. Working together was one of their goals in life. Both Natalie and Holly were the same age, both single, and both loved what they did.

  “Perhaps we could spice up the edible panties. Maybe add some cinnamon?”

  Not what Carly wanted to hear, but it was something. “Okay, let’s use some cinnamon and help these humans put the spark back in their love lives.”

  Natalie and Holly prepped the ingredients. First they measured and then placed sugar and flour in a mixing bowl—cinnamon and vanilla in a simmering pot. Carly mixed together the ingredients and poured in the liquid mixture from the pot. Sprinkling some silver dust on each batch for the final touches meant her masterpiece was almost finished. Silver dust was only found in the North Pole and it had highly erotic powers. It worked two ways. It could be ingested or absorbed into the skin, both ways giving the same euphoric feelin
g.

  Custom made molds were available in every possible size to ensure every human could experience the pleasure of Carly’s creations. She considered herself an artist at work. The molds were poured and put into the oven to bake. When the panties were done baking, they’d be placed into the freezer to cool before they were wrapped, boxed, and sent to the delivery room.

  After the required amount of panties were completed and boxed up, the girls took it upon themselves to experiment with some new and tantalizing flavors. Their goal was to find the next best sex treats. For the edible massage oil, espresso chocolate was out and strawberry mango was in. Carly glimpsed at her watch, noting her shift was almost over.

  “Okay girls, it’s time to clean up, we only have an hour left.”

  Natalie and Holly nodded as they brought pots, pans and some bowls over to the sink to wash. “Great job, girls. You both did excellent tonight and hopefully tomorrow will be better. Let’s have some faith that the humans will have more than edible panties on their naughty list.”

  Once clean up was done, Carly removed her apron and discarded it in the laundry basket. The girls headed toward the time clock where they had punched in earlier, and said their goodbyes after punching out. “Tomorrow is another day, girls,” Carly quickly reminded them, before they all left for the night.

  Heading home, she studied the stars up in the night sky as she passed the same houses and coffee shop. She felt a little lonely walking down the streets. Although she liked living alone, some nights she wished there was someone to talk with, to laugh with, and even to love. Troubles at the shop didn’t make things any better either. When she arrived back at her apartment building, she unlocked the door and threw her keys on the wooden coffee table.

  The boots were the first to come off, followed by her halter top and skirt. Rifling through her closet, she pulled out a loose white T-shirt and a pair of dark navy blue cotton shorts. As soon as she put them on she felt like herself, so comfortable and relaxed. She crawled into her enormous bed and turned on the TV. Carly knew she would not be able to sleep. Her mind still replayed what was said at work a few hours ago. No one believes in intimacy and sex anymore.

  How could that be?

  Chapter Three

  Carly’s alarm went off with a deafening ring the next evening. Reaching out blindly, she banged it with her fist to turn it off. “Seriously alarm, take it down a notch.” It was set for 6 pm, an hour earlier than normal. She lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling, mulling over the problems that seemed to be plaguing Tittle your Winks. “How can I make humans believe in intimacy again?” Carly pondered the connection. Morale had been down at work and humans, well, they weren’t getting down at all. Could that be the connection? Who was depressed first—elves or humans? I have to check the books when I go in tonight. With a plan of action in place, she rose from bed and headed for the shower.

  Carly had a thing for snowmen and her bathroom reflected it through Christmas décor emblazoned with the big white guys. The shower curtain had a herculean sized snowman for her viewing pleasure. Her toilet had a snowman cover on the lid and she had every snowman hand towel ever made. Obsessed would be an understatement.

  She knew a few things about a corncob pipe, too.

  The slippery sensation from the soap tickled, making her body heat rise. She hadn’t been with a male for years, and she was starting to miss it, especially right now. Carly spent so much time at Tittle your Winks when she first started working there, that she had no time for any males. After getting used to the lack of male attention, she fell into a rut.

  Carly imagined her hands were a skillful pair of callused male hands as they drifted down her slippery body. With her back up against the shower wall, she began to pleasure herself, squeezing her breasts lightly, tweaking her taut nipples. The tentative strokes made her moan as she pictured her favorite human actor, Gerard Butler. God, she wished that man was an elf.

  Fantasizing about her Scottish lover, her hands slid further down to her pussy. Rubbing her fingers in slow circles around her clit and slipping them in between her folds, she became hot and wet and fit for an orgasm. Her speed increased when she imagined Gerard in the shower with her. It would be his hand on her pussy, slipping between her juicy lips while he fixed her with that sexy crooked grin. Lass, you are mine, he’d say. Panting heavily, her moans lost amidst the water spraying down, Carly’s fingers worked faster, harder. Moaning louder as the sluicing power of the orgasm surfaced, she came with an explosion of sensation, her body quivering, until she slowly slumped down in the shower.

  Oh, Gerard, you always know what button to push.

  ****

  Carly arrived at the entrance of Tittle your Winks ready to make some sexy toys. Checking her watch, she noticed she was a bit early—which was perfect. She wanted to do some research before heading to her culinary heaven, and stalked the hallways until she found the room marked Elf Resources. Behind the counter was one of the few males employed there.

  “Hey, Stu, I need to see the production logs from last week.”

  “Good evening, Carly. Why do you need to see them? You’re not authorized for that.”

  Batting her lashes, she puckered her lips in a pout. “Oh, come on Stu, I just want to see them for a minute,” she said, altering her voice a little lower and more provocatively. Carly leaned over the counter so he could have full view of her white creamy flesh. She smirked when he licked his lips, and as her gaze lowered, she detected the beginnings of an erection. Boldly, Carly adjusted her red halter top even lower.

  “Damn, Carly, you sure can bring an elf to his knees.”

  She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Stu.” Holding out her hands, Stu passed the production logs. Sometimes being a woman has its advantages.

  Carly settled into a plush chair in front of a large, sleek glass desk with gold etchings. Dropping the logs atop the desk with a heavy plop, she shuffled through the papers to find last week’s production page. After examining the sheets closely, she noticed the production slowed before the morale went down. “This is interesting,” she said aloud. Maybe if they boosted the happiness around the shop, humans would be sex-inspired. It was well worth a try.

  She returned the logs back to Stu and sauntered off to her scrumptious creating retreat, ecstatic at possibly finding the connection she’d been looking for. The sex drive of a human and the production at Tittle your Winks must be connected, she thought. How wonderful would that be, to have a solution to all the misery around here?

  Her conclusion was more men. Some men would inspire anything in a woman. A blush stung her cheeks from the recollection of her shower earlier. Some men didn’t even need to be there to inspire.

  Holly and Natalie greeted her as she entered the kitchen. She always looked forward to seeing her friends each day. “Hey, girls. So what do we have on our list today?”

  Holly beamed as she threw her hands in the air waving the list around. “You are never going to guess! Orders have almost tripled since yesterday. Do you think it had anything to do with our adding cinnamon yesterday?”

  Carly mused over what Holly implied. It could possibly be the connection she was wondering about when she looked at the logs.

  “Earth to Carly!” Holly waved a hand in front of her face.

  “I figured it out! Holly, Natalie, I know why our orders have been so low and I know why everyone has been miserable around here lately.” The girls arched their eyebrows in unison, probably assuming Carly lost her mind.

  Holly was the first to speak. “Okay. Are you feeling alright, hun?” She felt Carly’s forehead with the back of her hand.

  Carly pushed her hand away. “I’m fine! Listen, I was in Elf Resources this morning and convinced Stu to let me see the books. I noticed last week’s production orders started to drop and so did everyone’s attitude around here. Then yesterday we were experimenting and our morale was high, and now—look at our orders.” She stared at the girls, but neither seeme
d to catch on. “More humans are getting it on because we’re their intimacy connection! If we’re happy and sexed up, the humans will be happy and sexed up.” She grabbed Natalie by the shoulders and shook her. “Don’t you get it?”

  Carly snatched the list from her friend and started mumbling to herself. Marching to her cabinets, she pulled out mixing bowls, trays, spices and utensils. “Don’t just stand there. Help me.” She grabbed some molds and the silver dust.

  Natalie finally stepped forward and started helping. “So let me get this straight. If we have sex the humans will have sex?”

  “Basically, yes.” Carly didn’t understand why it was so hard to believe. Humans and Elves were connected. Intimately. “I have to tell the boss. We’re going to save Christmas!”

  “Ah, Carly, honey, Christmas doesn’t need saving,” Holly said, worry coloring her words.

  “Oh, hush, Holly, would you prefer I said the weight of the world is in our hands?” Holly looked at Natalie and shrugged her shoulders.

  “Okay, Carly, let’s go save Christmas.”

  Chapter Four

  Carly high-tailed it to Sandy’s office, and presented her with evidence of why the sex toy orders had been low. She also explained how humans and elves were intimately connected.

  “That is interesting, Carly, and yes I can see your evidence holds truth. What do you propose we do to fix this?”

  Oh, man, she agrees with me, and even better, wants my opinion.

  “Well, Sandy, I would suggest we hire a male elf for inspiration.” The thought of having a male around gave Carly butterflies in her stomach. Would he help? Would it be all for nothing? Would he like showers? Focus!