Because of You

by E. L. Todd

  He extended his hand to help me down the final steps. “You’re a wonderful violinist.”

  “Thank you.”

  He smiled. “Did you just accept my compliment?”

  “Oh, I guess I did.”

  “We’re making progress.” He lifted my case off my shoulder then put it over his own. “You must be hungry from playing your heart out.”

  “I could go for some food.” I absentmindedly touched my stomach.

  “Great.” He extended his arm. “What are you in the mood for?”

  You. “Uh, I’ll eat anything.”

  “Anything?” he asked curiously. “We’re in Manhattan. That’s a lot of choices.”

  “How about Thai food?”

  “Excellent idea.” We walked through the park until we reached his car. “Can I put your violin in the trunk? It’ll be safe there.”

  “Sure.”

  He put it inside then opened the door for me. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

  I blushed and instinctively and wanted to look away. Instead, I forced myself to say, “Thank you.”

  ‘Two for two.” He shut the door and walked around the car.

  I got a nice view of his tight ass and soaked it in.

  He got into the car then took off. “I know a place not too far from here.”

  “Then why don’t we walk?”

  “Darling, not in those heels. Your feet will be killing you by the time we arrive. And I definitely want you to be comfortable.”

  He was extremely thoughtful, and that was a nice change.

  After we arrived at the restaurant, we walked inside and sat down. Ward immediately looked at the menu. “Too many things to choose from.”

  “I know…” I decided on what I wanted and put the menu down.

  He did the same.

  He leaned over the table. “Can I ask you something, love?”

  “Sure.”

  “There’s no way you look in the mirror every day and fail to notice your exceptional beauty. It’s just not possible.”

  I held his gaze and didn’t look away.

  “So, why is it so hard to take a compliment about your appearance?”

  “Well, no one has ever given me one.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “I think I’ve given you ten. And you’ve received a billion before I came along.”

  “Actually, no.”

  “No?” he asked in surprise.

  “I’ve been told I’m ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ or ‘I have a nice rack and ass’. No, no one has ever told me I’m beautiful or gorgeous. You’re the first.”

  His expression became thoughtful. He stared at my face but his mind seemed to be elsewhere. His hand touched his water but he didn’t take a drink out of it. “I apologize on behalf of my sex. Most men don’t know how to treat a lady.”

  “I’ve noticed…”

  “I’ll never say any of those things to you.”

  “Well, maybe one day you will…when it’s more appropriate.”

  “No,” he said without hesitation. “Not even then.”

  I returned his gaze until I had to drop it.

  Ward changed the subject. “You don’t work tonight?”

  I knew he meant the strip joint. “Tomorrow.”

  He didn’t argue with me or tell me to quit my job. “They have good security there?”

  “Definitely.”

  He rested one hand on the table and strummed his fingers. “Anyone give you any trouble?”

  “No.”

  “Have they ever?”

  I shrugged. “Sometimes men get brave and grab something they shouldn’t.”

  His eyes narrowed in anger.

  “But I stomp my heel on their dick so it’s okay.”

  “Atta girl.”

  “It’s really not so bad. Most of the girls I work with are extremely intelligent and ambitious. One girl is in medical school and needs to pay back her loans. Another one is in law school. She needs the money for the same reason. Other ones are just stripping until they find something better. If you thought they were a group of mindless chicks, you’d be wrong.”

  “I never thought that,” he said simply. “I just think it’s unfortunate strip clubs exist at all.”

  “Coming from the man who frequents them...”

  He turned his serious gaze on me. “I’ve been in a strip club once before that night. It was for a bachelor party. The only reason why I was in there was because—”

  “You were forced. I remember.”

  “Honestly, I’m not a regular. My friend just dragged me along to cheer me up.”

  “And why did you need cheering up?”

  He stared at his glass for a moment before he returned his gaze to me. “There was this girl I was kinda seeing…she ended up getting back together with her ex. I was bummed at the time.”

  Was it weird that I was a little jealous? It sounded fairly recent. “Are you still bummed?”

  “No,” he said. “I’m happy for her. I’ve seen them together, and it’s pretty clear they belong together. I’m glad it didn’t work out for us. The universe has righted itself once more.”

  “Were you in love with her?” I blurted.

  “No,” he said immediately. “However, I was very fond of her. She’s a very sweet and strong woman.”

  I let the topic drop since I didn’t see the point in discussing it further.

  “And I’m still not married,” he said with a smile.

  “You better not be. Otherwise—”

  “You’ll stab my dick with your heel? You should.”

  I laughed. “Well, now that you’ve given me your permission you should watch out.”

  “Duly noted.”

  The waiter approached and took our order. Once he was gone, Ward gave me that look he usually did before he asked me something.

  “Have you dated a married man?”

  “You already asked me this.”

  “I know,” he said. “You never answered.”

  I didn’t. I dodged the question.

  “I’m not going to judge you. I’m just curious.”

  “I did,” I whispered. Even now, I felt like shit about it. I hated myself, and I always would. It was one of my biggest regrets.

  He nodded his head slowly. “It didn’t end well, I take it?”

  I sighed before I told him the truth. “We dated for a while. He was sweet, charming, and perfect. We clicked the moment we met. Everything was going great. He was a businessman so he was out of town often. Sometimes he would take me on his trips. It was pretty fantastic.”

  He listened passively. “So, it was easy to have an affair.”

  I ignored his comment. “Then one day, I was looking for something in his bag and I found his wedding ring. I was so…angry.” I couldn’t even process it without shaking. “Then I looked at his phone and…” I covered my face because I was so ashamed. “He had pictures of his two kids and his wife…I felt so sick.”

  He gave me a sad look.

  “I left him then and there. He tried to get me back by calling me and coming to my apartment. He said he wanted to leave his wife for me. He would file for divorce the following day. But that just made me feel worse. I couldn’t break up a family. I couldn’t take someone’s dad away. I told him if he ever came near me again, I’d break his dick. He finally left me alone.” Talking about it brought back all the memories. “I’ve never stopped hating myself over it. I was ‘the other woman’ and I didn’t even know it. I was sleeping with someone’s husband…” I shook my head in shame.

  Ward watched me for a moment. Then he leaned forward and kept his voice low. “You didn’t know, Clementine. If you did, I admit, I would have been uneasy about it. I don’t like women who don’t respect the institute of marriage. But don’t blame yourself. You had no idea.”

  “It still makes me sick,” I whispered. “I was so stupid for believing all his lies.”

  “No, you weren’t,” he said gently. “You were just
a trusting person. He should feel ashamed for misleading you. And he deserves to have his dick broken.” His hand reached mine on the table and softly caressed it. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

  “I still feel terrible.”

  “Did she ever find out?”

  “I never ratted him out,” I said quietly. “I didn’t see the point. Maybe he learned his lesson and went back to her and got his shit together. Maybe he regrets it. I hope he does…”

  “I do too.” He continued to move his large fingers over my hand. “Now I understand why you don’t trust me.”

  I looked at him but didn’t say anything.

  “I’m not married and I don’t have a girlfriend—not in America or Britain.”

  “I wish I could take your word for it…I’m sorry.”

  He interlocked our fingers. “Actually, I think you do believe me.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, you wouldn’t have agreed to see me again, for one. And you wouldn’t be holding my hand like this. I think you do trust me, you’re just taking it day by day, which is fine. I’m a patient man.”

  Feeling too intimate, I pulled my hand away.

  “Where did you meet this guy?”

  He already knew the answer. “At work.”

  He nodded his head slowly. “Not the best way to meet quality men.”

  I gave him a pointed look.

  He chuckled. “I’m a very rare exception.”

  “Very rare.”

  The food arrived and we ate quietly. Surprisingly, a quiet companionship had formed between us. I didn’t feel the need to speak and neither did he. Sharing my biggest and darkest secret seemed to make me relax. I’d never told anyone else what happened. But I’m glad I told him.

  After dinner, he drove to my apartment. He grabbed my violin and carried it to my door. In the elevator, he grabbed my hand and held it in his own. I liked the touch so I let it linger.

  He walked me to the door and didn’t act like he expected to come inside. “I had a great time tonight. I would love to go out again.”

  I unlocked the door and left it open but I didn’t invite him inside. Ward was great, but what future did I have with him? He was in London half of the year. That wasn’t a relationship I could handle. Not only did I have trust issues, but if I fell in love with him, I’d want him to be in the same city as me. And judging everything I knew about him so far, I’d fall hard for him. He was definitely a catch, a once in a lifetime opportunity. But I knew it would end in heartache. “Ward…I don’t see this going anywhere.” I knew I was stupid for saying it, and every girl on the planet was telling me I was an insane idiot. But I had to protect my heart. It was still broken from the last time.

  His eyes fell in sadness. “What do you mean, darling?”

  “We don’t have a future. So…I don’t see the point in getting involved.”

  “A future?” he asked. “It’s our second date, Clementine. Aren’t we jumping ahead?”

  “I know,” I said quickly. “I’m okay with being in a relationship not knowing what’s going to happen, even though more than likely it will end, but I can’t be in a relationship if I already know how it ends.”

  He put his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground for a moment. Then he brought his eyes to mine. “I’m a little confused. How do we end?”

  “You live in London half of the year. I could never be with someone under those conditions. I already have trust issues as it is, and if I fell in love with you, I wouldn’t be able to stand being apart all the time. It’s just…not something I want.”

  He continued to stare at me, his eyes guarded. “We can cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  “No, we can’t. I’ll be in love with you and I’ll be sucked in too deep. I won’t be able to get out.”

  “Why don’t we keep dating and see if we even get to that point? You may never fall in love with me.”

  “No, I will.” I said it without hesitation. I didn’t need to date Ward for a year to imagine him as my husband. If he were everything he made himself out to be, then of course I’d want him forever. It was the reason why I was even more reluctant to have a relationship.

  His eyes brightened in intensity. “So, what do we do? I just walk away tonight and that’s the end of the story?”

  I didn’t want him to walk away. I didn’t want that to be the end of the story.

  “I really like you, Clementine. That doesn’t happen very often for me. You’re strong and independent, you’re drop-dead gorgeous, and you don’t take bullshit from people. You’re sweet, compassionate, and kind. I’d like to know more.”

  “I want to know more too…”

  “So, can’t we just see where it goes?” He stepped closer to me.

  I wanted to say yes, but I knew I needed to say no. “I’m sorry, Ward…”

  He took a deep breath and seemed truly disappointed. “Is there something else we can do? I’d rather have some of you than not any of you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “A casual relationship. When I’m in town, we go out and have a good time and have awesome sex. When I’m not around, then we go about our lives. If one of us starts seeing someone, we’ll stop seeing each other.”

  I considered the offer hesitantly. “I’ve never done that before.”

  “Neither have I. But you aren’t giving me much choice.” He leaned closer to me. “I’d prefer it if we dated traditionally. I know you’re scared because of the distance and the fact you don’t always know what I’m doing when you aren’t around, but if something serious happened between us, I promise you I would do everything I could to make it work.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If we were getting married or something, I would move here and quit my job, whatever is necessary to make it work. I want a wife and a family someday. I understand that it’s unlikely any woman would appreciate her husband being gone so often. It’s understandable. But I’m not going to make that sacrifice unless I find the one. Until then…I can’t do anything about the predicament.”

  There was no guarantee. I could be the one to him someday, but I easily could not be. Would I be able to handle that heartbreak? Would I be able to handle a two-year relationship where we only spent a year of it in the same room? The odds were against us. If I hadn’t been burned to the bone already I probably would take the risk, but I was already barely holding on. “I can’t, Ward. That’s my final decision.”

  He sighed in irritation. “And what about my other offer?”

  That was the only way I could have him and not get hurt. I wouldn’t get attached to him because our romance would end in a month or two. I might be burned a little but at least there wouldn’t be any scar tissue. And I got to have him—even if it was a small amount. “Okay.”

  He seemed surprised. “You accept?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, at least I don’t have to walk away—at least right now.”

  “Yeah.”

  He stepped closer to me then guided me against the wall. He brushed his lips past mine, teasing me before he kissed me. His chest pressed against mine before he lightly pressed his mouth to my lips.

  I took a deep breath once I felt him. My hands dug into his hair and I held on as I deepened the kiss. He was good at everything he did, and his kiss was the best. He gripped my waist aggressively as he pressed into me hard, devouring me like he was starving.

  He moved his lips to my neck and kissed me while he held onto me. “Maybe this would be a good time to tell you I’m flying to London in the morning...”

  My hands moved around his expansive back and I clung to him. “When will you be back?”

  “Ten days.” He nibbled on my ear then returned to kissing my neck.

  That was a long time to wait. And I really wanted him. “Okay.”

  “Okay, what?” He brought his face back to mine.

  “Let’s go inside.”

  His eyes reflected the same heat
I felt between my legs. “We can wait. There’s no rush.”

  “I don’t want to wait.”

  He didn’t ask me again. He lifted me up then walked into my apartment, kicking the door behind him.

  I cupped his face and kissed him as he navigated to my bedroom. When he walked inside, he gently laid me on the bed and moved over me. I was eager to have him. I’d wanted him since the moment I first saw him. Knowing he couldn’t hurt me made it better. My hands fumbled with his jacket and shoved it off as quickly as possible. Then I yanked his shirt off. Once his naked chest was revealed, I stopped and stared at it. He was solid muscle. His chest was wide and powerful, and his stomach was so tight it felt like concrete. The muscles of his back felt like rocks.

  Shit, he was hot.

  I unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down. He kicked them off the rest of the way.

  Then I grabbed his boxers and pulled them off.

  Oh my…

  I stared at his thick and long cock. “I’m so happy right now…”

  He smirked slightly as he watched my face. “Let me show you what I can do with it first.”

  “Please do.” I knew I was a little sex-crazed but I hadn’t had a lay in about a year. I was eager beforehand, but after seeing how ridiculously hot he was, I was insane with longing.

  Ward kissed my body as he pulled the layers off. His lips moved to my shoulders and chest when the cardigan was off, and when my dress was removed his lips trailed everywhere else. He looked down at me, desire in his eyes. Then he kissed me again, undoing my bra as he went. When it was loose, he yanked it off then sucked each of my nipples.

  I leaned my head back and moaned happily, loving his large mouth around me. He knew how hard to suck without being too aggressive, but causing just enough pain to make it pleasurable.

  Then he gripped my thong and pulled it down my long legs. He stared at the area between my legs before he moved his mouth there.

  This man was amazing.

  He kissed the area like he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew how to touch a woman like he was a woman himself. I knew the sex was going to be good, and I couldn’t stop shaking my legs. He pulled away then grabbed his jeans off the ground and found his wallet. He was probably looking for a condom. Once he found the packet, he came back to me.