All The Way

by Tricia Jones

  “Niko—”

  “If you don’t want that to happen,” he said, ignoring Grace, “You’ll damn well get your backside out of that chair and come with your sister.”

  Long moments passed when the air hummed. Grace feared Nikolai had pushed her sister too far and there was no way in hell Leah would leave now. She could have fainted when Leah stood, glared at Nikolai then brushed past them toward the door.

  “I can’t believe you’ve gotten yourself involved with this brute again.” Leah stomped down the stairs closely followed by Grace. “And I’m supposed to be the stupid one.”

  Thankful that at least they’d gotten Leah out of the room, Grace said nothing more as they drove back to the hotel. She sat next to her sister in the back of the car as Nikolai drove and Vadim sat in the passenger seat. She didn’t want to risk saying anything inflammatory and have Leah bolt at the first set of traffic signals. Leah sat, arms crossed in that sulky manner, her gaze averted from Grace as she stared out the window.

  When they reached the hotel, Leah didn’t move as the car came to a halt and Grace got out. She went around the side as Nikolai and Vadim became deep in conversation at the front of the car. Knowing Leah refused to budge until pushed, Grace reached down and unfastened the seatbelt she’d earlier fastened for her sister.

  “I don’t want us to fight,” she whispered to Leah. “I only want to talk and know you’re okay and that you’re safe. Please, sweetie.”

  Leah huffed, but hauled herself out of the car and followed Grace into the hotel.

  In Grace’s room, Leah went straight to the easy chair in the corner and sat, crossing her arms and legs, her shoulders back and chin lifted in abject defiance.

  “Will you leave us?” Grace whispered to Nikolai. “She won’t talk unless we’re alone. I know she won’t.”

  Nikolai glared at Leah in the corner. “Don’t take any crap from her, Grace. I meant what I said about hauling her backside—”

  “I know, and I appreciate it.” She put her hand on his arm, curled her fingers around the hard muscle beneath her hand. “I appreciate this, Niko,” she whispered. “You don’t know how much.”

  His eyes softened as he placed his hand over hers. It felt warm, achingly familiar and Grace wanted to curl into him and be held for a while.

  “If you need me, I’ll be next door with Vadim.”

  “Okay.”

  She waited until Nikolai had left, then went to the mini bar. “Do you want something to drink? Something cool? We can order room service or go down to the bar. What would you prefer?”

  “What I’d prefer is to be back with Pavel. That’s what I’d prefer.”

  Grace took two bottles of mineral water from the mini bar and brought them over to where Leah sat. When Leah didn’t take the bottle, Grace left it on the side table for her, then sat on the bed. “Why did you leave without telling me?”

  Grace kept her tone light, her words simple. She felt tired. Tired and sad. When had things gone so awry with her sister? Where had she taken a ridiculously wrong step and alienated the sister she had pledged to protect?

  “Didn’t you realize I’d worry about you?”

  “The reason I left was because I knew this would happen. If I’d told you, you’d have locked me in my room or done something else to make me feel like I don’t have a life of my own.”

  “Is that what I did? Made you feel like you didn’t have your own life?”

  “Yes.”

  As Leah refused to look at her, Grace rubbed the top of the bottle she held unopened in her hands. “When did you get back in contact with Pavel?”

  Leah shrugged. “I dunno.”

  “Were you seeing him in London?”

  “It’s none of your business. You don’t tell me about him,” she said waving her hand at the adjoining wall. “You know he hates me and yet you got back with him.”

  “I’m not back with Nikolai. He’s helped me to find you. And he doesn’t hate you.”

  She roiled on Grace, her gaze hard and accusing. “Yes, he does. I’m in the way. I always was. He wants you to himself.”

  “That’s not true. Anyway, it’s irrelevant. We’re not together. Like I said, he was helping me find you.”

  “Pavel says he’s an arrogant prick.”

  Despite everything, Grace wanted to laugh. She couldn’t deny it. Nikolai could be an arrogant prick.

  Deciding not to feed into Leah’s dislike of Nikolai, Grace changed the line of conversation. At least they were having a conversation. “Are you and Pavel…are you together?”

  Leah cocked her head, and smirked. “You mean are we having sex? Yeah. Why wouldn’t we?”

  Grace closed her eyes. “Leah…”

  “You had sex with him, didn’t you? You were supposed to be my role model. I heard the two of you, that time we went to stay at his place. I heard the two of you humping away, having sex. I thought, that sounds like a lot of fun, I can’t wait to try it myself.”

  “Stop it.” Grace reached out and tapped Leah on the knee. “You’re so keen to keep telling me how mature you are, that I should let you have your own life, make your own decisions, and yet you sit there and make childish comments which only confirm how immature you are. You don’t know anything about men, Leah. You think you do, but you don’t. If you want to have a boyfriend, experiment, have sex even…” She had to stop, take a breath. The idea of her baby sister, the innocent child she’d been charged to protect, having sexual relations with anyone, let alone a man like Pavel. “Look. It’s natural that you want to have fun, enjoy becoming a woman and everything that involves, but with that comes responsibility.”

  “Pavel’s using protection.”

  Grace had to take another breath and swallow hard. She grabbed Leah’s hand, holding fast when Leah tried to pull away. “I’m sorry I got everything so wrong, but if you’ll give me another chance, I’ll prove I can be there for you. To share things. Talk about them. You’ll have questions—”

  Leah laughed and managed to slip her hand free from beneath Grace’s. “You’re like something out of the dark ages. What do you think I talk about with my friends? Tiaras and bunny rabbits? Half of them were having sex when they were fourteen. Oh, don’t look so shocked, Grace. Internet? Heard of it? I can’t tell you how many porn movies we’ve downloaded. That school you sent me to wasn’t as sheltered as you hoped.”

  She laughed again and to Grace’s mind the sound was far too worldly, far too dark.

  “Do you know what else, Grace? I could probably answer your questions. Like, why did you and jerk head split? Was it because the sex was bad? Weren’t you able to satisfy him? Maybe I could give you a few tips. If he’s anything like Pavel, he likes it rough, even a little bit kinky. I could give you some pointers on how to keep him satisfied this time around.”

  Grace consoled herself that Leah’s outpouring was likely bluster, but she didn’t want to consider the form those pointers might take and how her sister had learned them. “I told you, I’m not back with Nikolai, but I’d rather you didn’t call him names.”

  “Oh, touched a nerve, have I?”

  “Leah, just stop all this.”

  “No. You stop thinking I’m this innocent little flower you have to keep sheltered under your prissy wing. I’ve learned a whole lot of stuff.”

  “I’m warning you, Leah. Please.”

  “You didn’t want me foisted on you in the first place. You enrolled me in that creepy school the first chance you got, so you didn’t have to bother about me.”

  “That’s not true. Do you think I liked leaving you there? Enrolling you in that school was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I love you with all my heart. I’d do anything for you.”

  “Then let me have my own life. I want to be with Pavel, and he wants to be with me.”

  “I can’t let you do that.”

  “Why not? You said you’d do anything for me. Don’t you want me to be happy?”

  “Of course I
want you to be happy. But—”

  “Then let me stay here.”

  As Grace hesitated, wondering what to say next, what argument to use, Leah jumped right into the silence. “Let me stay here and I promise I’ll call you every day. I’ll call, text, email…whatever you want. I promise.”

  Sensing defeat and still at a loss to know what to do next, Grace remained silent. Leah came and sat beside her on the bed, a hopeful look in her eyes as she stared up at Grace.

  When had this child become a woman? Grace thought. So young. So pretty. But, it seemed, no longer an innocent. Her skin, plump and smooth; her eyes filled with the promise of a young girl in love. Grace recalled the first time she’d felt that way and the brief but excruciatingly painful infatuation with a boy who’d been warned off by her parents. She remembered the bittersweet desperation of that time.

  Then the time two years ago when an entirely different, wrenching pain had almost broken her heart. If that first boy had been Niko, would she have allowed her parents to interfere? Would she have obeyed them and stayed away from him? No. She wouldn’t have. She would have gone wherever he’d wanted her to go. As Leah had done with Pavel.

  While Grace continued to muse, Leah grabbed her hand. “Look, I’ll arrange for you to meet with Pavel and me, before you go back to London. You’ll see that he’s okay. You’ll see how happy we are. He loves me, Grace. He wants me. He said he’s always wanted me. Ever since he first saw me. He said he waited until I was sixteen before he could ask me to be with him. It wasn’t right before then, he said. He wanted to do the right thing, Grace, why can’t you see that?”

  Grace lifted her free hand and smiled as she stroked Leah’s short cap of dark hair. “You’re so young. I can’t help but worry about you.”

  “You don’t have to. Pavel will look after me, and I can look after myself. I promise if I need anything I’ll call you.”

  “I don’t—”

  “I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “I’ll never do it again.” She wrapped her arms around Grace’s waist. “I’m sorry I was horrible and that I was mean to you.”

  Grace hugged her back, squeezing hard. “It’s okay.”

  “No. It’s not. Those things I said about you? About sex, and all?”

  “I forgive you.” Grace drew in the scent of her sister’s hair. “Even if you did make me sound like I was seriously repressed.”

  Leah chuckled against Grace’s shoulder. “My offer to give you some pointers still stands.”

  “I think I might pass on that.”

  Leah drew back, serious. “If you want to, you know, sleep with him, that’s okay with me.”

  “Well, thanks for the heads up, but I’m not sleeping with him, nor do I want to.”

  Leah tilted her head. “That’s a big fat lie if ever I heard one.”

  Grace frowned. “Maybe not a fat one.”

  “He still looks at you like he wants to eat you.” Mischief shone bright on Leah’s face as she looked at Grace from beneath lowered lashes. “Not only does he look like he wants to eat you, but that he wants to do it slowly and savour every mouthful.”

  Grace tried to look stern as her face heated. This didn’t seem an appropriate topic to share with her baby sister.

  Leah only grinned, obviously aware of her ability to embarrass her sister. “Then after he’s eaten you, slowly, and savored every mouthful, he looks like he’d probably want to do it all over again.”

  “I think that’s enough of this conversation.” But Grace laughed anyway, feeling like she had her sister back, if only for a short while. She knew that if she tried to force Leah away from Pavel, her headstrong sibling would leave again the first chance she got. It didn’t stop Grace from having one last attempt to reason with the girl. “You might be old enough to have sex, but I’m still your legal guardian until you’re eighteen.”

  “Or until I get married.”

  “What?”

  “Pavel said if I called you you’d try and make me come home. He said if you did, I was to tell you we’d get married, then you’d no longer be my guardian.”

  True, Grace thought miserably. She’d read every word of the guardianship document to make sure she fulfilled her legal responsibilities to her sister. “As your guardian I have to give my permission.”

  Of course, she’d have to find them first. Even with Nikolai’s help, she knew they could disappear, get married. There were officials who didn’t pay much mind to legalities if the price was right. If that happened, her relationship with Leah might be forever severed. She couldn’t bear that.

  How could she let her sister down that way? How could she break a promise? Her parents had trusted her to do her best for Leah. It was the only thing they ever asked of her, the one thing they had entrusted her with. It was the last thing she could do for them.

  Take care of Leah. Promise me you’ll take care of her.

  Her father’s final words echoed in her head as she stared at her beautiful sister. Defeated, Grace knew she had no choice. The thought of letting her stay with Pavel would give her no peace, but at least she’d still have a relationship with Leah. Emotionally, if not geographically.

  “I want you to promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “That you won’t marry Pavel.” Grace pressed a finger to Leah’s lips as she started to protest. “If I agree to let you stay here, you’ll call me every day. If things go wrong, you’ll tell me. If you want to come home, you’ll do so right away. Will you promise me that?”

  “Okay.”

  “If you need me for anything, I’ll be on the next plane. It doesn’t matter where I am, I’ll come for you. If you don’t have any money… Do you have any money?”

  She shook her head. “Pavel is paying for everything. He said he doesn’t want or need my money, not even when I’m twenty-one. I should just keep it for the things I want.”

  So he knew about the trust fund. The very fact he’d thought to mention it to Leah roused Grace’s suspicions. She’d need to get some legal advice about that, to make certain things were watertight.

  “Grace? I’m sorry I was a bitch.”

  For the short time she would have Leah to herself like this, Grace clung. “And I’m sorry I didn’t understand how you feel. I’m going to find it hard letting you go.”

  “Do you mean that literally? You’re crushing my ribs.”

  “You’ll have to put up with it a bit longer. As you’re going to have to put up with the fact that I’ll worry about you every minute of every day. Promise you’ll indulge me by calling or texting every day. A couple of lines will do. Even a simple ‘I’m okay.’”

  “I already promised.”

  “I know, but do it again, just so it seeps into my brain.”

  Leah pulled back. “I know I can be a pain, but I’m really, really sorry I worried you. I promise I’ll text you. Every day. And if I can’t for some reason, I don’t know what that reason might be, probably that we’re travelling and I can’t get a signal, or something, but if I can I’ll let you know beforehand.”

  Grace sighed. That would have to do. “If I asked you to come home, to spend a few days thinking about this and making sure it’s the right thing for you and it’s really what you want, would you come?”

  “I know it’s what I want. I know you didn’t like Pavel before, and Nikolai likes to diss him, but he really cares about me. He cares about Nikolai, too, but he knows he should keep out of his way.”

  Something niggled, but there was too much else to think about. To clarify and confirm. “Will you come home for my birthday next month, just for a couple of days? If Pavel wants to come too, that’s okay.”

  Leah pursed her lips and Grace thought she would refuse, but then she smiled. “For a couple of days.”

  It gave Grace a moment of peace, knowing they would be reunited in a few short weeks. “Thank you.”

  “Can
I text Pavel? Tell him I’ll be back soon?”

  Grace nodded, and because she felt exhausted she took the opportunity to go into the bathroom and freshen up.

  When she came out, Leah was gyrating to some music she’d put on the TV. She whirled around as Grace came in, boogied on the spot. “I can’t stay. Pavel said he’s booked a table as a surprise and we’re meeting some of his friends.” She stopped dancing when Grace turned down the TV. “He said would you like to come for breakfast in the morning and we can spend the day together. He said it would put your mind at rest that things are okay.”

  If that’s all she could get, she’d take it. “That would be good.”

  Leah hurried to Grace and wrapped her arms around her waist. “You’re the best. I’ll never forget how much you’ve looked after me.”

  “I’ll always look after you.” Grace closed her eyes and held on. She remembered how terrified she’d been when the lawyers advised her that she’d been appointed Leah’s legal guardian. Taking responsibility for a twelve-year-old girl when she still felt the need, at twenty-three, for some parenting herself. It had been a difficult time, without the grief of losing both her parents. She’d found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on her law studies and if it hadn’t been for her own inheritance she would never have survived.

  “I’ll call Nikolai and ask him to drive us back.”

  “No. Pavel said it’s best if Nikolai doesn’t see him, seeing as he hates Pavel so much. I don’t want to see Nikolai either. He gets right up my nose. Pavel’s meeting me at the restaurant he’s booked. I know the way. It’s an easy walk from here.”

  “Then I’ll walk with you.”

  “Okay.”

  A short fifteen minutes later, Grace hugged Leah outside the entrance to the restaurant and fought back the tears. As she lost the battle, Leah laughed. “I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast,” she said as they stood facing each other. “Then you’ll meet Pavel again and you’ll know there’s no need to worry.”

  Managing a watery smile, Grace nodded. “I wish you’d stay with me tonight. Then we could stay up late, chat and eat chocolate. I’d even spring for a bottle of something really expensive.”