His Frozen Heart

by Georgia Le Carre

  My normal routine of getting an ice bath in the creek, coffee and then tucking myself away in the workshop was out of the question. Today was the day I was supposed to take her into town to inquire about her car. Was this also the day I lost Katrina to the outside world?

  A couple of days ago, that was what I thought I wanted. Now, even the thought of her leaving left me twitchy and restless. I wanted her to stay. At least for a little while longer, but what if she didn’t want to stay? I knew nothing about her. She must have another life waiting for her outside this cabin. Like a proud fool I had rebuffed her efforts to tell me about herself or her life.

  I needed time to think.

  To make my plans.

  I unthreaded my legs and arms from hers, gently smoothed her hair out of her face and pulled myself out of bed as quietly as possible. Just as I was descending the ladder, with our faces opposite each other she opened her eyes.

  “Cade?”

  All I wanted to do was get back into that bed, bury myself deep in her body, and tell her she was going nowhere without me. Play it cool, man.

  “Hey. I’m putting some coffee on the stove. Want some?”

  “Yeah. I never turn down coffee.”

  “Ok.” I took another step down the ladder.

  “Cade, wait …”

  “What is it?”

  “I just … want you to know that … I don’t know what I’m trying to say here. Um, the weather is good enough for me to get into the town, isn’t it?”

  I kept my face expressionless. “Looks pretty good to me.”

  “I guess I should get out of your hair, huh?”

  I went down the steps and started the fire in the wood stove for coffee. I think I was stunned. She didn’t want to stay! It had to be karma. All my life women wanted to stay with me and I was the one kicking them out, pushing them away. And none too gently either. And now that I actually found one I wanted to stay with, she didn’t want to. It would be funny if it wasn’t so fucking painful.

  “Hey!” Katrina stuck her head over the mezzanine. “Do they have any cute cafés in town?”

  “I’m not sure about any cute cafés, but I sometimes get something to eat in Frank’s diner. They’ve got Formica tables and paper napkin dispensers if that’s what you mean by a cute café?”

  “That’ll do me. You want to grab some breakfast in town with me before we call about my car? I’m buying.”

  “Um, yeah. We can get some breakfast.”

  “I could kill for some hash browns right now. How long will it take to dig your truck out of the snow?”

  “Not long. We need to boil the kettle to pour over the windshield. She likes to be warmed up like that before she starts.”

  She laughed. “Did you just refer to your truck as a female?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does she have a … name?”

  “Yes, she does, but I will only tell you if you promise not to laugh at her. She’s … sensitive.”

  To her credit she kept a straight face. “Go on. I promise. No laughing. I’m dying to hear this!”

  “It’s Doris.”

  “Doris! Oh, my God. You are the most ridiculous mountain man I’ve ever heard of.” Then she laughed that sexy, sexy laugh of hers and threw a pillow at my head. Of course, I got back up the ladder to my bed forgetting all about the coffee, or starting the fire under the stove.

  Cade

  Breakfast had moved into the realms of brunch by the time we were ready to leave. I dug snow out from around the truck tires while Katrina was still inside the cabin. She came out carrying some bags and stood next to the driver’s side.

  “Hey. I was just wondering, you know … er … well … what the plan is? Am I going to come back here with you later while someone fixes my car? I mean, should I bring my stuff, or come back for it?”

  I stopped digging and looked at her, committing the moment to memory. She was beautiful beyond words. Everything about her was perfect. The woolen beanie she had jammed on top of her hair, the silky strands that had escaped and lay around her pink cheeks. The way she was licking her lips nervously.

  She swallowed. “You know, is this it? Do we finish here, or do we buy more condoms at the village? I mean, I guess I’d just like to know where you’re at with this, whatever this is between us. This is so embarrassing. I can’t even speak.”

  “Do you want us to come back with more condoms?”

  “Typical,” she huffed, throwing her hands up in the air. “He’s put it all on me! Surely, I haven’t been too cagey about how I feel.”

  “Well, yes, actually you are being cagey. What are you saying?”

  “I mean, didn’t we have fun last night? And this morning?”

  I smiled slowly. “Yeah, we did.”

  “Ugh. Men! Can’t you just read between the lines of what I’m saying?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want me to stay? Shall I just go now, or do you want me to stay with you out here for a while?”

  “I want you to put your bags back inside the cabin and get more condoms in the town. Is that enough for right now?”

  She beamed at me. “Yes.”

  “Alright.”

  “OK, fine.”

  There was an awkward silence. I think we both wanted to be excited about the step we’d just taken, but because we’d gotten tetchy about it with each other it was embarrassing to then bounce around in giddy celebration.

  After a few minutes into the journey down the mountain Katrina started to giggle.

  “What? What are you laughing at?”

  “Us. We’re so weird.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “We just are. This is the most random situation. I mean imagine anyone asking us how we met. ‘Oh, you know I crashed my car and he rescued me from the freezing cold, and then we just … shacked up together. Like you do when you meet a hot mountain man. You’re like a smoking hot, artsy kind of lumberjack. Every woman’s dream!” she said throwing her head back and roaring with laughter.

  She was right. We were totally weird.

  “I’ve got to say, though,” she added. “I’ve got plenty of girlfriends who will boil over with jealousy when they hear my ‘love in a log cabin’ story”

  Love in a log cabin? It sounded so cheesy and yet so wonderful. “You’re not really going to tell anyone, are you?”

  She looked sideways at me. “Are you freaking embarrassed of me or something?”

  “Ugh. No, would you please stop jumping to conclusions that are like three steps ahead of reason? Jeez, take it easy. I’ve been out here by myself for a long while now, you know. Suddenly, you’re here, and don’t get me wrong, I want you here. I like how it is with you around. Just … don’t rush me. I don’t want to think about shit like how we’ll explain to people how we met. For one, I don’t even like people.”

  She pouted prettily.

  “I like you. Can we just keep it at that for now? Let me adjust slowly?”

  “Fine, I won’t tell anyone about us, okay. Sorry to hit a nerve.”

  “You didn’t hit a nerve. I don’t care who you tell.”

  We rode along in silence for a few moments until Katrina said, “You see, I told you we were weird.”

  I laughed. That was the thing about her that blew me away. Beyond how beautiful and sexy she was she was tough and kind, full of sweetness, and absolutely hilarious. She made me laugh just from being herself, and that was so fun to be around.

  Cade

  Frank’s diner was more occupied than I’d have liked, but we found a booth towards the back. I sat facing the wall with Katrina facing out to the other patrons. Locals would assume she was just another skier tourist I had hooked up with. Very few people live here year round, so the inhabitants I see on my occasional trips to town have begun to recognize me and express casual pleasantries, much to my irritation.

  “Hi folks, what can I get you?” Barbara, our waitress said. “Well, hi there, Cade. I didn’t reali
ze that was you!”

  I took it as a bad sign that her usual polite smile had been replaced by a huge friendly grin, and grunted. As I feared she turned her attention on Katrina. “And who do we have here?”

  I groaned inwardly. “Barbara, this is Katrina.”

  “It is sure nice to meet you, dear. I only ever see Cade by himself so you are a welcome sight for sure.”

  “Aw, it’s nice to meet you too, Barbara.”

  Barbara turned back to me. “How did you fare through the avalanche? Everything ok up there at your place?”

  “Yeah, fine. Didn’t affect me too much.”

  Katrina looked from me to Barbara like she couldn’t believe our conversation. “Um, apart from the fact that I crashed my car near his cabin and he had to take me in for several days? No, other than that it didn’t affect him too much.”

  Barbara frowned. “Did you say you crashed your car?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Up on Dogwood Pass right near Cade’s place. My chains snapped and I went right over the edge. Cade heard it and came and rescued me. I was out cold. I would’ve frozen if he hadn’t come for me.”

  “My goodness, honey. Well, you sure were lucky it was Cade that found you. About another mile up the highway and you would have crashed near old man Gafford’s place and let me tell you right now, you do not want to set foot on that place.”

  “Why, what’s the deal with old man Gafford?” Katrina said.

  “Oh, he is just a misery guts. Hasn’t got anything good to say to anybody. And anything that moves onto his property line, be it on four legs or two, he’ll shoot at it. Just the most unfriendly man you’re likely to ever meet.”

  “Well, I don’t know. You could be describing Cade in another thirty years.”

  Barbara laughed and I cocked my chin to the side. I was not used to being addressed in such a familiar way, but I could see the funny side of it. Besides, her teasing was harmless and made me feel like she had accepted me as one of the locals.

  “Is your car still up on the pass, honey?”

  “Yeah, we’re down here to get that taken care of today.”

  “Well, Cade, you know my husband, Barry, owns the garage, don’t you? He’ll get you fixed up if you go down there and see him.”

  “Thanks, Barbara. We’ll do that.”

  As she walked away after taking our order, she looked back at me over her shoulder with a wink to say she approved of my being with Katrina. And the strangest thing happened. Instead of being irritated that she thought it was any of her business, I basked in the ‘niceness’ of her sentiment. And that was really strange for me. Even before I chose to live in the woods I had zero interest in being part of any community. People bored me. I found them nosy and presumptuous. Just because they knew who you were they behaved as if they had some investment in your life and had the right to comment about your choices.

  Whenever I’d come into town since living out on the mountain, I avoided interaction like the plague, keeping my conversations to well-timed grunts and nods. Once you pass the stage of a grunt and a nod at someone, you’ve got to keep it up every time you encounter them. Much better when they assumed you’re a cranky loner and kept their distance.

  “This town is really cute,” Katrina said. “It’s got everything you need, but it’s still cozy and friendly. I bet the people who live here are really happy.”

  “Don’t tell me you’d like to live in a small town like this. I had you pegged as a city chick.”

  “No, no not at all. I mean, that’s where I grew up, but that’s not what I want for my life. I love these little pockets in the world where everyone knows your name and your troubles, you can always find someone to sit and have a coffee with if you come down to the town. There are families and old people, people who’ve lived here for generations and the tourists that breeze through dropping money and entertainment into daily life. I’ve always wanted to live in a community like this.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, don’t you like it? I mean, what brought you out here, anyway?”

  There she goes again, digging up the back story. “If we launch into some big discussion now before I’ve eaten my steak we are both in for trouble. I’m an asshole when I’m hungry.”

  Katrina laughed at me. “Hey, I see that as progress. Good job, Cade, for letting me know that the jackass detector alarm bells are ringing. I will heed the warning.”

  Cade

  The weather was nice so after we left the diner I went into the drugstore to get a jumbo pack of condoms and Katrina sat on a bench soaking in the winter sunshine. I stood at the doorway of the shop and watched her for a moment. It felt real, what we had. As she was already a part of my life. I couldn’t really imagine life in these mountains without her any more. When she saw me she waved.

  I walked up to her and she raised her face to mine and kissed me. Even though we were standing on the side of the street in a public place I wanted to lift her off her feet and take her right there.

  She wanted to walk through town to Mitchell’s garage. The sunshine felt good after a long winter. Symbolically it felt like it was thawing me out from the inside. Piles of snow shoveled off the sidewalks and roads were waist high and melting making puddles everywhere. It was a dirty mess, but Katrina laughed and called it charming. We passed the tiny, one room shop that the owner insisted on calling an art gallery, but was more like a tacky gift shop for the tourists and Katrina stopped in front of the window.

  “I love this painting. It’s so wild and colorful, but I actually recognize where this is. It’s from around here isn’t it? I could have sworn I passed it on my way here.”

  “Yes, I’m sure it is. They’re all local artists’ pieces in there.”

  “Really? Well, you should talk to them about your sculptures!”

  I scowled. The last thing I wanted to do was sell my pieces. “Come on, let’s get to the garage.” I tugged at Katrina’s elbow, but we only made it about five feet.

  “Hey, Cade.”

  I turned around with a sigh. “Oh, hi, Paul.”

  “I’m glad I caught you. You haven’t been in town in a while, have you? I got something to tell you. Come on in the shop, I want to show you something.”

  “Oh, we’re in a bit of a hurry. I’ll drop in the next time I’m in town.”

  “No, we aren’t,” Katrina said, and pulling out of my hand quickly followed Paul into his shop. Like she’d known him for years. I swear that woman did not meet a stranger. It was going to be very hard to live a hermit life with her around. Reluctantly I stepped through the doorway.

  “Well, take a look around,” Paul was saying to Katrina. “If you see anything you like I can give you a special price.”

  There were watercolor paintings of familiar local scenes, glossy black and white photographs of mountain wildflowers in the breeze, hand painted greeting cards with more mountains and flowers and the occasional totem animal. Nothing spectacular, and very far removed from anything I would ever have bought from a gallery.

  “What’s up, Paul?”

  He walked to his desk, opened a drawer and took out a fat envelope. “Here you go.”

  I didn’t take the envelope. “What’s in it?”

  “Your money. Eight hundred dollars. I sold your sculpture, Cade!”

  I frowned. “What sculpture?”

  He grinned triumphantly and strutted towards me. “The one Beau found outside your workroom. He told me you had trashed it. Said he didn’t want any money for it, but thought it was too nice to be just thrown out. He was sure I could sell it and he was right. In fact, I was hoping you’d be in town after the storm cleared so I could ask you for some more pieces to sell.”

  At that moment, a phone rang from somewhere at the back of the shop and Paul pushed the envelope into my surprised hand, and disappeared through a low door, leaving Katrina and I alone.

  “Wow! This is so great,” she gushed. “I’m really happy for you. Don’t you feel like celebrating?�
�

  “Well, no, actually. It’s really no big deal selling to the tourists. Everyone knows it’s not actual art if you’re selling from a one room shop in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Will you stop being such a damn snob? What the hell is the matter with you? You could be doing a lot worse than selling your art to people who are trying to capture their vacation memories in an object. And having a nice man like Paul to deal your pieces for you. You need to pull yourself together, mountain man. There is no shame in you carving beautiful sculptures for a living. You think you can only be a true artist if you’re having a show in some big city gallery. Be real, man. And stop being such a snob.”

  If Katrina had met me two years ago her accusation of snobbery would have been actually true. Eight hundred dollars would have paid for a bunch of exotic flowers ordered from a specialist flower boutique. She would not have recognized me in my handmade Italian shoes and my $75,000 bespoke Westmancott suits. I was a different person then. And if I was honest, one who would not have even noticed someone like her.

  Paul came back out. “Sorry about that. Just the wife checking up on me.” He rubbed his palms together. “Anyway, as I was saying, I get a steady stream of tourists in here, but the funny thing is I don’t think I’ve ever had as many people show interest in one of my pieces as they did yours. People seem to love them.” He made a face. “I kind of think I undersold it. I could have gotten a lot more. So if you have any other pieces that you would like to sell, just bring it in, or I could take a trip up to your place and have a look at what you have. I’ll take everything you have. Big or small. Whatever you have.” His eyes gleamed with the thought.

  “Er … no. I don’t have any pieces for sale at the moment. If I do I’ll bring them down.” I grabbed Katrina’s hand and started to pull her towards the door. I raised the envelope up. “Thanks for this.”

  He took a step towards us. “Are you sure I can’t come up? There might be something that you don’t think is good enough that might be sellable.”