His Frozen Heart

by Georgia Le Carre

  “Nah. There’s nothing. I’ll see ya around.

  “Paul, he’ll bring them as soon as possible. I’ll see to that!” Katrina said, as I dragged out of the door.

  “What did you go and say that for?” I demanded.

  “No reason,” she said and began to walk off down the road. I shook my head. Beau, better have a good explanation for his behavior.

  Katrina

  “Totaled? What do you mean?” I demanded with horror.

  Mitchell, who owned the garage in town, had followed us up in his tow truck to where my car was wedged in the trees.

  He shrugged. “I mean this car is not worth the money it will cost you to fix it. It’s totaled.”

  My heart was beating really fast in my chest. I did not need this expense. It would throw all my plans in jeopardy. “Well, how much are we talking here?”

  “It’s difficult to say right now since I can’t even get under the hood until it’s out of the trees, but I’d venture a guess that since your front end is smashed to pieces it’s going to cost more than the car’s worth just to cover the body work. Not to mention whatever damage we find.”

  “Just throw out a ball park figure.”

  “It’s over a thousand for sure.”

  “What? But I don’t have a thousand dollars. Well, not right now anyway. I’ve got a few thousand coming to me soon. Can’t you just fix it and then I’ll pay you as soon as I can?”

  “You’re better off saving your money and buying another car when your money comes in,” Mitchell said.

  “Tow the car away, Mitchell. I’ll sort some money out with you.”

  I was too distressed to answer. I just stood next to Cade as Mitchell sawed away the skinny pines that held my car wedged in. Then he hooked my car up to his tow truck. We watched as Mitchell drove away with my sad little car.

  A long time ago I learned to see every situation in a positive light. If I applied that life lesson to this tragic scenario, I suppose the car could be a symbol of my life. Like he was pulling away all the old crap I’d been putting up with and clearing the way for something totally new in my life. I’d been focusing my mind on what I wanted, what I wanted around me, and this was all part of me starting over and having the life I always dreamt of.

  “Come on, don’t sweat it. You’ll find something else to drive. I’ll help you,” Cade said.

  “Yeah, I know. It’s just a pain in the ass to have to deal with getting a new car. Ugh. Money problems make me so stressed.”

  “Oh really? Huh, money makes everyone on the planet stressed no matter how much or how little you have. Get over it because it’s always going to be like that.”

  “Ha, says the man who comes from money.”

  His eyes narrowed, suddenly suspicious and dangerous. “How do you know I come from money?”

  I stared at him in astonishment. With one sentence he had become a hostile stranger. It was almost as if I had never known him. I felt the color drain from my face even in the freezing cold. “I didn’t. I was just guessing because you know, you’re … not really a mountain man. Your accent, your education. The way you throw your art away. When Paul gave you the envelope you didn’t even open it. Actually, you looked like you didn’t even want it.”

  Cade didn’t respond. He went back to that veiled expression he had before I made him smile. Worry clutched my belly like an iron grip. Had I made a huge mistake by saying that? God, this man sends me to extreme highs and lows with ease.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just stressed about the money Having to shoulder this unexpected expenditure when everything is a financial mess for me right now.”

  He nodded. “Forget it. I’m sorry I attacked you. Let’s just go back to the cabin.”

  The journey back to the cabin was mostly silent. I had no idea what he thought about, but I focused on how much money I would have to fork out to replace my car and how I would go about replacing it while I was up on the mountain.

  When we got back in the cabin, Cade pulled me towards him. He put a finger under my chin. “Look, I have more money than I need. I’ll buy you a car, all right. Obligation free. Call it a gift.”

  I couldn’t speak. For some weird, totally crazy reason I wanted to burst into tears. I shook my head. I didn’t know why I was refusing his money, but it just made me feel like such a piece of shit to accept.

  “I don’t need the money,” he said softly.

  I placed my fingers on his lips. If I could have spoken I would have told him then. Told him everything, but I couldn’t speak and he scooped me into his arms and put me on the blankets in front of the stove where we’d made love before. Tears ran down my face. He looked surprised.

  “Hey,” he said. “It’s not a big deal. I have no use for money here.”

  That just made me cry even harder. The iceman had a heart of gold. And I felt like a whore. He kissed my eyes gently and began to take my clothes off. He kissed every inch of my naked body until I was writhing like a snake with desire.

  When he finally entered me, smooth and thick, I screamed his name, and raked my fingernails down his back.

  Afterwards, I cooked two pieces of steak and tossed the salad I bought from town. After our meal, Cade built a fire and we toasted marshmallows. I think it was then, sitting huddled up next to Cade that I really began to understand the terrible, terrible mistake I had made.

  Katrina

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnVUHWCynig

  “How about a trip to the hot springs?” Cade said, when we woke up late the next morning.

  I licked my lips. I couldn’t put it off anymore. The issue weighed heavily on my mind, and all night long, I tossed and turned thinking about it. I had to be honest with him. No matter what the consequences. “But first, we should talk. I need to tell you something.”

  He sighed. “Can it wait until tonight? I’ve got stuff to tell you too.”

  My eyes widened. “You do?”

  He nodded. “Yeah.”

  I smiled. “In that case, count me in.”

  “But there’s something I’ve got to take care of first,” he said, as he whipped the covers off me. I giggled as his rough beard settled between my thighs.

  “Is your knee feeling up to a short hike? I can pull the truck up a little closer to the pools,” he offered.

  “That would be great, thanks.”

  There was a grin on his chiseled, bristly face and I wanted to devour and be devoured by him. He reached his hand across to my knee and pulled me down to his lap. Every little look and touch with him was fun and exciting. My heart started racing at the thought of being in the hot spring pools with Cade in the flesh.

  “So, should we undress in the truck and make a run for it, or take our clothes off at the edge of the pool?” I asked with a cheeky grin.

  Cade thought for a second.

  “While the first idea has merit, I’d have to say that if you started taking off your clothes inside this cab I may not be able to contain myself and we may never get out of here. Probably best, if you really want that dip you should wait and take your clothes off at the bank.”

  I giggled. “Ok. Deal. We’ll take our clothes off at the bank.”

  He parked the truck about fifty yards away from the pool and we sat in the cab soaking up the last of the warmth from the heater. “You go first.”

  Cade laughed, which I loved to hear. “No, we go together!” he said.

  “Well, I think you are going to go first. Stand right over there and lay your clothes over that big rock next to it, and I’ll sit here in the warm for another few minutes and admire the gorgeous view of mountains and pines and sun. I mean, this is a view you just have to soak up. The colors and the majesty! And man won’t it look even better with you standing there buck naked in the middle of the vista.”

  “What? I’m not standing out there in the cold for you to ogle me!”

  “Oh no? I’ve spent plenty of time being ogled by you, so go on no
w and get out there first. You’ll get your reward of an eye full in return. I just want mine first.”

  “Alright then. But you better not be too long.” Cade opened the door and got out. Before he closed it, he leaned back in. “Don’t dare fucking leave me out there long. I’m about to explode for you.” He looked serious too. He really wanted me that much.

  “I won’t,” I promised sweetly.

  He took off his coat and hung it on the side view mirror. I watched him walk, that panther gait. So sure and confident. For an instant, I tried to imagine him away from these mountains. The life he must have lead before, but then he turned around and waved and the image was gone.

  He pulled his sweater over his head, then unbuttoned his flannel shirt and laid them both over the rock I’d told him to. He turned to face me and let a smile light up his face. God, he was so beautiful, he made my chest constrict. He took off his shirt and brushed the skin on his chest and arms against the cold. Cade sat down on the rock and put his boots and socks in neat order next to his stack of shirts. He stood up again and unbuttoned his jeans.

  I gripped onto the dashboard to steady myself.

  He pulled his jeans off and stood there in his underwear. I guess he was hoping I would start getting out of the truck then, but I made him wait. I wanted to see everything.

  Still in his underwear, he rubbed his hand over his erect penis. With his other hand he motioned for me to come on out. I shook my head. He dropped his underwear down to his ankles and I couldn’t hold it any longer. I threw my coat off and started undressing in the truck as fast as I could. So that he would find the items later, I hung my bra over the rearview mirror and my panties over his gearstick. I didn’t anticipate wearing any clothes for the short ride back to the cabin.

  When I was completely undressed, I grabbed a condom from my bag. Cade had sunk down out of view in the water. I forced myself to make him wait a moment longer. I was so ready to go for him.

  I slowly opened the creaky door to the truck and lowered one bare foot down into the snow. Hell, it was so cold goose pimples scattered over my whole body, but my desire for Cade kept a warm glow in my belly. With more self-assuredness, and more strength than I’d ever felt in my life I walked towards the rock pool.

  Cade came up from underneath the water and watched me approach. At the edge I stopped to let the cold brush my skin a moment longer before I slipped into the warmth of the water. I reached up and untied my hair and let it fall around my shoulders.

  Cade encircled my legs with his arms and pulled me into the water. I felt myself slide down Cade’s body as we sunk slowly into the sensuous pleasure of the hot spring. He kissed me then, and I wished we could stay there in that magic moment forever.

  Cade

  “I’m starting to turn into a prune. Come on, let’s get back to the cabin and sit by the fire now,” Katrina said.

  “OK, but I’m going to have to do some carving tonight. Since you arrived you’ve been nothing but a distraction to me.”

  “Are you complaining?” she gasped.

  I hid a smile. “Ha!” I jumped out of the water and offered her my hand to help her out. Her body pressed against mine. She pouted.

  “No, I’m not complaining,” I said softly.

  “Race ya,” Katrina shouted as she slipped out of my grasp and took off stark naked. I watched her run towards the truck, completely ignoring her bruised knee. “Come on, just drive naked. It’ll be fun. I’ve never driven in a car naked. Have you?” she shouted as she turned to look at me.

  In the middle of winter? I shook my head. The girl was bonkers, but she made my heart smile. I picked my clothes off the rock. No, I don’t think I’d ever driven a car naked, but why not?” It wasn’t as if there was anyone around to see if I was stupid enough to sit buck naked behind the wheel in the middle of winter.

  That would have been the case any other day of the year, except today.

  When we pulled up there was a silver sports Mercedes parked in front of the cabin and my mother was leaning against the hood. She was dressed in a stunning, long cream mink coat, no doubt from her Russian furrier, and black boots.

  “Fuck,” I swore.

  Katrina covered her breasts with her hands and squealed, “Who is that?”

  “My mother,” I muttered.

  My mother turned then, and there was an incredulous expression on her face as she spotted us. Not surprising since we were both naked as the day we were born. I quickly got my clothes back on, but Katrina had thrown hers around haphazardly, so she was scrambling around searching for all the pieces with her ass up in the window. When she sat down to pull her leggings on my mother’s stern, gravity-repellant face was staring at her through the passenger side window.

  I buttoned my jeans and shrugging into my shirt got out of the truck. My mother was generally not good at smiling, but I was furious with her for deliberately staring at Katrina, instead of looking away like any other normal person would have.

  “Come on, Mother. Let her get dressed in privacy,” I said curtly as I neared her.

  “Privacy?” she scoffed. “She should have thought about that before she took her clothes off out in the open.”

  I grabbed her by the elbow of her luxurious coat and guided her towards the cabin. She’d never been to my place before and looked around with undisguised horror.

  “Oh, Cade. It makes me sick to think of you being out here alone all this time.” She gathered up the hem of her coat so that it wouldn’t come in contact with the dirt from my porch. When she passed through the threshold her long, thin hand covered her mouth in shock. “Oh, dear God.” She looked at the rafters, the stove, and the clothesline across the room, the one and only bed on the mezzanine. She took it all in from the middle of the room then turned to me without saying a word.

  “What are you doing here, Mother?” I asked.

  Her lips thinned at my rudeness. I know she had driven a long way to get here, but her condescending attitude was pissing me off.

  “I’m so sorry!” Katrina said, rushing in, out of breath and bumping into the doorframe as she pulled on her other boot. “So sorry about that! Hi, how do you do? I’m Katrina.” She extended her hand to shake my mother’s hand, but my mother filled her chest with air and gave Katrina an icy stare.

  “Cade, this is not exactly how I expected to find you.”

  “Calm down, Mother. We’re both adults.”

  “You said you needed space. You wanted to be alone to think about life. Instead you’re playing naked games in the woods. Ugh, can she wait outside while we have this conversation?”

  “Mother, this is Katrina. Katrina, Lynn. And no, she is not waiting outside in the cold.”

  “She didn’t seem very cold a moment ago,” my mother snapped sarcastically.

  Katrina flushed bright red as she stood awkwardly by the door. There was an expression on her face I had never seen before. “It’s not a problem. I can wait outside,” she said, taking a step backwards.

  “No, stay,” I ordered firmly. “Anything my mother wants to say to me can be said in front of you.”

  “Cade, I want to speak to you in private. I don’t even know this person.”

  “What do you need to speak to me about? Has something happened?”

  “No, no it’s nothing like that.”

  “Well, then what is it? What did you come all the way out here to tell me?”

  “Cade, I’m shocked at your callousness. I’m your mother and I haven’t seen you in two years. No calls or birthday cards! You didn’t even come home for Christmas. We’ve had no communication whatsoever from you. And then to find you here living almost as a homeless person and driving around in the middle of winter without clothes, it’s just unimaginable. Just look at that grown out beard. I’ve never seen you like this. Oh, I’m overcome! I feel dreadful right at this moment and I would think you would give some care to your mother. I haven’t even been offered a seat! Do you even have one?”

  Katrin
a pulled the stool out for her. “Here you go, Lynn,” she said, but my mother looked at her with contempt as though Katrina was unfit to even address her by name.

  “Is there somewhere else for you to go, young woman? I want to be with my son, not some—”

  “Be nice, Mother,” I interrupted, before the insulting name came out of her mouth. “Katrina lives here. You don’t.”

  “Well, I’ve lived longer than you. I know her type.”

  “For God’s sake, Mother. You didn’t come half-way across the country to insult my girlfriend, did you? What do you want?”

  “Your girlfriend?” My mother looked at me in shock. Like I had gone stark raving mad. Then she looked at Katrina, and back at me. Then she pressed her fingers to her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, God,” she muttered, her shoulders slumping.

  My mother suffered from terrible migraines. She’d had them all her life. Ever since I was a boy I could remember her getting them and having to lie in a darkened room for hours, sometimes days. I moved quickly forward and guided her towards the stool. She sat down, her gorgeous mink trailing on the floor. I must admit until I saw that, a cynical part of me wondered whether she was being dramatic for effect.

  “Have you got your medication?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “But I have the prescription. Would you run into town and get it for me, Cade?” she whispered. “Otherwise, I won’t be able to leave here before dark.”

  I frowned. “Are you sure you’ll be all right, here? Do you want to come with me?”

  “Oh, I couldn’t face the winding road. I’ll stay here with …”

  “Katrina,” I supplied.

  “That’s right, Katrina, and let me make it up to you and start off on the right foot with your new girlfriend.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  I couldn’t believe my mother was being genuine, but then again she did move to New York when she was eighteen to tread the boards. She was a pretty good actress by all accounts until she married a rich, handsome, son of a property tycoon and found it much more enjoyable to live in luxury than to follow her dreams.