Soul Remembered (Soul Series Book 2)

by Laura Winter

  “Finnley, are you okay?” Nate tried to slide his hand over my leg, but I scrambled away.

  “You didn’t take my cuff off. I’m still trapped,” I cried, starting to get dizzy. “Did you fill me with poison so I’d sleep?”

  Nate held his hands up. “No, I didn’t make you sleep. You hit your head, but you’ve healed. That buzzing feeling we get from the Blue Soul will do that. At least your cut healed, but you probably still have a mild concussion.” He frowned, waiting for me to check the back of my head. There was dried blood everywhere, but he was right that I couldn’t find a cut.

  “Why didn’t you take the cuff off? It hurts,” I said, fighting back tears. I felt so confused and it was frustrating.

  His words were careful and calm, trying to help keep me level-headed. “Listen, when I take it off, you’re going to have your powers. I know at the moment you can’t explain it, but you know what your powers are, right?” I nodded so he would continue. “Okay, the reason I didn’t take it off is because when I do, you’re going to be able to read everyone’s mind. I didn’t want to overwhelm you all at once, because there’s mine and probably six others down the hall from us on top of the fact you probably still have some drugs in your system which might make things tough to handle. I didn’t want that to scare you.”

  “It feels like forever since I built a wall in my head,” I sighed. I reached out and took his hand, watching him visibly relax. “Will you help me?”

  He nodded. “Of course. Are you ready?”

  I’m not entirely sure I was, but with his fingers brushing over the back of my hand, I felt like I could at least try. I didn’t know what to expect at first, especially not knowing how long it had been since I had voices in my head.

  Slowly, Nate reached forward and unlocked my cuff. He was right. As soon as it released, I felt all seven voices slam into my head. I shut my eyes, trying to concentrate. It was hard for a second, but I started to build my walls up. The voices I used to hear were impossible to shut out of my head, but thoughts were easy. I picked up each individual one and worked to block them out.

  I opened my eyes again to see Nate hadn’t moved. I smiled. “I’m okay.”

  His shoulders finally released the tension he was holding, breathing a sigh of relief. I watched his chest rise and fall, my heart growing with each movement. It was mesmerizing to watch him.

  But his chest caught slightly. “You still don’t know me, do you?”

  I looked into his sad blue eyes and had to shake my head. “I want to know, so badly. I’m so sorry. Please, you have to know I’m trying.”

  Nate tried really hard not to let me see how sad he was. “I know you’re trying. It’s not your fault. But you should know there’s a lot I need to fill you in on. What’s the last thing you remember?” He paused, adjusting his grip in my hand.

  “Running away from… I don’t know from where, but I know I was running from my dad. I kept hearing the Blue Star voices, but I didn’t want to use it. I was looking for someone who could help me, but I don’t know who.”

  “You were running to find me. You knew who I was, but you had to use the power source to survive. It was actually two powers, a Cold Soul and a Blue Soul. The Blue Soul tried to protect you, but the Cold Soul and its voices took your memories of Finnley. But Finnley had been smart enough to create a new identity for herself, so that’s who you became. You adopted a life as Clara.”

  “That’s who your friend was talking to back there!” I threw my hand over my mouth before speaking through my fingers. “Sorry, I interrupted.”

  He didn’t seem bothered, smiling the same sad smile that broke my heart. “That’s when I met you the first time. You were lost, but we started to piece together your past. We didn’t always get it right, but we always found our way back to each other.”

  “Why?” I almost got my hand back to my mouth, embarrassed I had interrupted again, but he shot his hand out to stop me.

  “I’ll show you why,” he said, turning my left palm over. In the middle, a blue paint splotch stained my skin. I thought about reaching out to clean it, but I realized it was actually a scar. And on Nate’s right hand, the same mark stained his palm.

  “It’s…”

  “A scar. We both have it because we both have the Blue Soul in us. It’s the buzzing feeling when we touch; our shared power,” he smiled. “Do you want to see mine first?”

  I nodded and he moved his sleeve up, watching me carefully. The scar extended to his elbow, slivers of electricity reaching out along his forearm in the shape of a lightning strike. I brushed my fingers over it before letting go of his hand and sliding my sleeve up. Identical.

  “It’s beautiful because we share it,” I sighed. “Why do you call it the Blue Soul? I thought it was the Blue Star?”

  “The power source you used had two powers in it, right? Well, the name got lost in translation because of how it was trapped. Your power is kind of like a supernova, with your telekinesis. Mine is a black hole. Together, our powers make up the Blue Star. Our powers combined can trap other powers. Hence, the power source you used had two powers, the Cold and Blue Souls, that were trapped by a Blue Star.”

  I sat back into my heels. “Why did you use the power after me?”

  He frowned. “The dream you had? About your dad killing you?” Nate paused. “It happened, but I was able to save you by connecting us.”

  I pulled my legs into my chest, overwhelmed. As I clasped my hands together, something felt off. I looked down and played with my ring finger.

  “You asked me if I was married to Aidan, but I said something weird,” I whispered. “I’m not married to Aidan, I’m married to you.”

  Nate bit his lip and looked down into the bed. “I asked you to marry me. We were still engaged.”

  I could feel his sadness crushing him because I was just as lost. I had been engaged to him, I had loved him, but now I didn’t know him. It was all past tense.

  We were interrupted as the door burst open. I recognized the first face that ran in.

  “Mads!”

  Madeline ran and jumped on the bed, strangling me with her arms as she knocked me back. She was crazy strong for a five-year-old. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nate hide his sadness with a forced smile.

  Madeline lifted her face to my ear, whispering quietly as she hid her seriousness from the rest of the people who were piling into the room. “You’re going to make new friends, just relax. They don’t know what to say just yet.”

  I never knew how she always had the perfect response to prepare me for what was going to happen. As soon as Madeline jumped off me, four arms grabbed me. I vaguely remember Nate grunting as two of the non-teenagers wrapped him in a hug. Wait, was that Angie? How did I know her and why was she here?

  The arms around me finally released and I stared at a girl I didn’t know and the guy who had called me the wrong name earlier.

  “Clara, we were so worried about you,” the girl said, beaming, but suddenly frowned. I knew it was because I didn’t react to that name.

  “I know that’s my name, but it’s not my name. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m still trying.” I wanted to curl my knees up again, but the boy reached forward to keep me from doing that.

  “Sorry, Finnley,” he said, forcing my name. He was trying really hard not to upset me. “I got it wrong yesterday.”

  “Nate’s friend. I think I’ll be better when the poisons get out of me. I’ve done it before, but they caught me.”

  “You stopped taking their meds?” Nate asked, looking over at me.

  “Big monkey caught me throwing up,” I said, holding my hand against my side. At one point, there had been a bruise from big monkey’s large boot, but it had healed. “His foot hurt more than the needles.”

  There was an awkward moment of silence and I caught a glimpse of someone holding back against the wall. I couldn’t focus enough to figure out who it was. The poisons were making me feel sick.

&nbs
p; “How long were we gone?” Nate asked, his voice fading out. Everyone got quiet again, but I don’t know why they wouldn’t answer.

  “Eight weeks,” I blurted their thoughts. Everyone looked at me, confused and slightly upset that I had shared the information. I started to defend myself. “He just wanted to know, but no one said anything. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

  I curled back into a ball on the bed. This was too much at once. I just wanted that cuff back on me so I wouldn’t have to hear anything anymore.

  Soft arms wrapped around me and suddenly I felt safe. It wasn’t Nate, because I didn’t feel the buzzing. I opened my eyes and gasped at the woman holding me. The one I couldn’t focus on because of the poison keeping me distracted.

  “Mom?”

  41

  Nate

  I was starving so I was talking and eating at the same time. Eight weeks. We had been gone for eight weeks. I thought maybe it was a week and a half or so. Whatever drugs they were pumping into us made it seem like it had gone by in a flash.

  Our group had found us about two weeks after we went missing, but it took another four weeks before Ellie could infiltrate enough to at least be a lunch lady. I guess I had walked by her several times before even acknowledging she existed. By that point, Finnley had stopped going through the lunch line.

  They really were drugging us out of our minds to keep us there. Finnley said there was a moment she started to act normal when she stopped taking their meds. She had to have been inside without her memories for longer than I had been. I remembered watching her on the TV, Jackson’s evil smile curling as he admired his work. He erased Clara, every bit of what she knew about me, just to keep us apart. He didn’t plan on us being drawn right back in, even if we didn’t know each other.

  “If Jackson could bring Finnley back, it means there’s a chance Clara can come back too.”

  Everyone seemed to jump at my statement. I focused on the clock and realized I hadn’t been talking for over five minutes. I glanced back at Finnley’s room, hoping her mom was able to heal her from whatever drug she was still full of. Her conversation earlier had been better, but she was still skittish and acting off.

  “Ellie said you two literally looked insane,” Glitch said, eyeing me carefully. I knew he wouldn’t say that in front of Finnley after seeing how she reacted the last few times he had been around her.

  “They were drugging us to keep us distracted. Every time she acted out, they gave her more or something stronger. That’s why she’s having a hard time. Whatever concoction they filled her with made her act like that.”

  My mom was still just inches from my side as she spoke. “But you started to remember things again?”

  “Nate’s different,” Madeline said, poking her head out from the other side of the couch. Shit, that girl could come out of nowhere and startle you. “Like me, powers don’t work well against him.”

  “I assume everyone met Madeline?” They all nodded, but still seemed a little confused. I had basically thrown her into a stranger’s arms and sent her away, but she didn’t seem afraid. She still liked me at least, running over to jump into my lap.

  “My grandma was Jeanie,” she said, beaming. She pointed to Luci and Glitch. “You two didn’t get to meet her. She would have liked you.”

  “Madeline,” I said, leaning around to look at her face. “Do you know what your power is?”

  She frowned. “I get things mixed up a lot. Things you should know, things you shouldn’t know, things that are about to happen… it’s really confusing. Like right now, Finnley should be in the room, but she isn’t, and I can’t remember if that already happened or if it will happen.”

  I squeezed her tighter as she leaned into me. “That’s about to happen. I’m sure as you get older you’ll start to figure it out.”

  I could still feel everyone watching me, but I didn’t care anymore. I was just happy to be home.

  “She’s going to be better, but she needs more time. Stay strong,” Madeline whispered into my ear before everyone’s gaze shifted behind me.

  Finnley had changed into sweats and a large sweatshirt, but not my sweatshirt. That’s why Madeline had warned me. Ellie looked tired as she walked in behind Finnley. It must have taken a lot of energy to help get Finnley healed.

  “Stop staring at me,” Finnley growled, not looking at anyone. She snagged a box of cereal off the table and shuffled over to the couch. She pulled her knees up to her chest and dug her hand into the box. “I’m not high on drugs anymore, so stop thinking about it.”

  I saw Glitch, Luci, and my parents get red in the face. So much for not reading our friends’ thoughts.

  Madeline hopped off my lap and walked over to stand in front of Finnley, crossing her arms.

  “What?” Finnley asked, talking with her mouth full.

  “Be nicer,” Madeline snapped. “Just because they don’t understand doesn’t mean they don’t want to. You of all people should know that.”

  Finnley bit at the inside of her cheek, embarrassed. Her eyes darted around the room. “Sorry.” Her eyes finally rested on me. I saw the pang of guilt flash across her face as her voice echoed through my head. Can we talk?

  Always.

  She remembered, or at least felt enough of a connection to know we could talk in our heads. The room was still silent, but we didn’t care. We both just stood up and walked out the front door. No one stopped us either, they just let us leave without a sound. We walked along the trail that led to the treehouse. I wondered if she knew that’s where she was going or if she had just started walking on the first path she saw.

  “I don’t want this to give you false hope, but I can sort of remember you.”

  I hadn’t meant to stop, but my legs wouldn’t work anymore. Anything she said about us would probably give me hope.

  She frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember us. I remember before my Trials that I would dream about you. I didn’t know you, but I was trying to find you. I was already falling for you.”

  Finnley reached out and traced my palm with her fingers, not caring that I was starting to sweat. I was still wearing the pants and long sleeve from the psych ward, and I could see her regretting her choice of clothing as well.

  “You told me that once,” I replied. “A memory was triggered when we went back to the power source cave. You remembered telling your mom about coming to find me.”

  She blinked. “That’s one of the last things I remember before waking up in that place. You said a memory was triggered? As in, Clara remembered me?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it happened again when we went back to your old house.”

  Finnley thought for a second. “My mom filled me in on some more things, but I don’t know if I’m remembering them or if I can just picture them actually happening.”

  I smiled. That was something she had said before too. Damn, everything about her was so similar, and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. She didn’t seem to notice my thoughts as she continued.

  “I know I was Clara to you, I know you were engaged to her, but I don’t know who she was,” Finnley sighed. “I’m not her, but please know I’m not giving up. I want you to hear that, because I know it means a lot to you.”

  I couldn’t stand it any longer. It had been eight long weeks since I had kissed her. Even if she wasn’t the same, even if she didn’t know me, I had to be close to her again. Finnley, the mind reader and typical go-getter, was surprised when I pulled her into my arms. I couldn’t help it. My hand wrapped around her neck and I kissed her. It was soft at first, but then I felt her arms slide around my waist to pull me closer.

  Like always, my fingers made their way to her spine, brushing and tracing as the goosebumps lifted under my touch. We were buzzing, and I never wanted to let go. But my cheeks were wet and I could feel her pulling away. I let go as she stepped back, her fingers tracing over her lips as her eyes got wide.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my heart sinking. “
You’re crying.”

  Great. Clara must have been lying about me being a good kisser. Finnley was terrible at hiding it.

  “She wasn’t lying. I remembered,” she whispered. Her blue eyes lit up. “Our first kiss. The one at school the next day… the first time you told me you loved me.”

  I could feel my breath catching. “Your memory came back?”

  Finnley shot across the space again and kissed me deeper than Clara ever had before. She felt me lose my breath as I stumbled slightly, trying to hold both of us up. With new strength, I felt her arms wrap around my back and hold me up. She pulled her chin back, just enough to let me breathe between her kisses.