With Honor

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  Shane cleared his throat as he stepped around her. “So it wasn’t the C-141 Starlifter that had your attention.”

  Turning, she looked at him in bewilderment. In the sunlight, his eyes sparkled. A breeze swept over them and she got a whiff of soap. Never before had cleanliness been such an aphrodisiac. She’d liked their relationship better when she didn’t think too highly of him.

  Breathing in and exhaling slowly, she gained control, turning all of her attention to the C-141. At least that’s what she thought he’d called it. She stood on tiptoe and attempted to seem interested in its markings. “How long have you been in the Air Force, Shane?”

  “Twenty years.”

  “Long time,” she said.

  “I guess so.”

  Sliding her forefinger along the thin racing stripe detail, which led to a graphic painting of a buxom blonde, aptly named Marilyn, she sighed. “Do all of these planes have pictures of women?”

  “You mean nose art?” He leaned a shoulder against the plane. “It’s an American tradition. But not all of the art is of women.”

  The mid-morning sun beat down upon her skin and the long sleeved shirt she wore became heavy. She pushed up the sleeves and unbuttoned the first two buttons. Catching his glance in that direction, he quickly turned away. Yeah, she had to wonder where his modesty had been hiding when they’d met the first time.

  Sweat beaded between her breasts. Suddenly the heat was too much and she needed AC, but she couldn’t pass up an opportunity to ask him questions. “What made you decide on this branch of military?”

  He stared into the distance. “Since I was a boy I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Only a few lucky men get to live out their dreams. I’ve had a wonderful life. Now I’m getting close to retirement.”

  “I hope you have other dreams, then?” She watched his profile.

  His brow came up. “More to that question than meets the eye.”

  “I guess so. Have you never wanted a wife? Children?”

  His long pause made her wonder whether he’d be honest. “Any answer could backfire on me.”

  “I guess I’m putting you in a difficult spot.”

  His sigh bounced off the plane. “I did in my twenties, about ten seconds before I realized how unfair it’d be to ask someone to stay behind while I deploy for months at a time. And maybe not finding the right one, the right woman, contributes to my cold feet.”

  “I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, Shane.” The words flew out of her mouth. She tucked a strand of runaway hair behind her ear. The wind picked up and the breeze felt good against her heated skin.

  “I’d say if you did it on purpose you wouldn’t have hunted me down. You’d have done it all alone,” he said. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he stared into the sky as a plane passed overhead.

  “I just wanted–no, needed–you to understand that although it wasn’t planned, I don’t consider this a mistake.” Protectively, she laid her palm on her belly.

  Pushing off the side of the plane, he shrugged heavily. “Why weren’t you taking something to keep from getting pregnant?”

  Although this wasn’t an abnormal question, it stung all the same. “I just didn’t. I know it seems immature or irresponsible for a woman at my age not to be taking some form of protection against pregnancy but–” She didn’t want to go into explicit detail that a woman not having sex didn’t need protection. By the look on his face, she didn’t have to elaborate.

  “I’m not judging you. Who am I to accuse? I was there with you.”

  “In most cases, a condom is enough protection.”

  He nodded. “In most cases.”

  “I know it’s not a typical arrangement, but this has happened for a reason. I call it my unexpected opportunity.”

  His body tensed and he shifted in his tan sand boots. “Truth is, it could be my last opportunity, too.”

  She nodded. They were reaching a level of agreement. “Do you have a girlfriend who you need to talk to about the baby?” Jasmine couldn’t imagine a man like Shane being girlfriend-or lover-free.

  “Woman, your confidence in my character overwhelms me. Now you’re adding a cheat to the list of my charms.”

  Laughing seemed out of place, but she couldn’t help herself. “Then I’ll take your answer as no. I didn’t mean it to insinuate anything. A few months have passed since, well, since we had sex.”

  “I guess I don’t have to ask the same question or else he’d be the father of your baby.” He lowered his eyes to her stomach. “That’s a good thing. A man might not like you moving to be near the father.”

  She swallowed the cotton ball feeling in her throat. “Aren’t you being a tad bit presumptuous?”

  “Probably a helluva lot more than a tad bit.” He cocked his jaw. “There’s only one way I see this working, and long-distance fatherhood isn’t an option. I can’t move, at least right now. So that leaves you. First order of business is to get your things moved here.”

  Did he really think he could dictate orders at her? “Okay, hang on there. I haven’t said yes.”

  He stood up straight and looked down at her, lifting one corner of his mouth as if he found this situation amusing. “Honey, you came all the way here to tell me about the baby. You must have thought about relocation a few times before you got here.”

  The heat of the sun grew hotter, or maybe it was her blood pressure rising. Tugging at the neckline of her shirt, it suddenly felt like a heating blanket. “Actually, I didn’t toss around any ideas for a future with you.”

  “So you just assumed you’d do your duty by telling me and I’d tell you I wanted no part of raising this child.”

  Sweat glistened his upper lip. First sign of a breakdown in his composure.

  “Honestly, yes. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with this baby.”

  His jaw tensed. “Let’s get one thing clear.” His voice was low, not the least bit threatening, but grave. “You don’t know me.”

  “You’re right. I have no clue.” She threw her hands up in her own frustration. “The man I met months ago talked a lot about loving his freedom. He didn’t seem to have a clear idea of where he was headed, or where he’d end up. Sure, he made it seem like he wanted to see me again, but I didn’t take anything he said to heart. And before you suggest again that I’m jilted, the truth is, I’m not. We didn’t seem to have a lot in common except for a good time. Yet, you seem different now. How? I don’t know. Why I even slept with you is a question I can’t answer. I guess it just felt right at the time.”

  “Some excuse.”

  “Hey, you were there too, remember? What’s your excuse?”

  His gaze slipped over her body and then came back up to entwine with hers. She dared not show him just how his attention affected her. “I guess I’d have to say that I couldn’t resist sampling the sweet Florida peach.”

  Her face burned. “I came here not for you, or for me. I know how it feels to grow up without parents. If at all possible, I’d like for my child to have both a mother and father. That’s the best gift we can give her or him.” As tears stung her eyes, she turned away, not wanting him to see. “So, I won’t make assumptions and neither should you. You don’t know me either.”

  “Looks like we need to start over again. You need to get to know me.”

  “I can do that. For the sake of our unborn child, I can forget about the past and move forward. But just because we have decided we both want this child, doesn’t mean you can start telling me what to do and how to do it.”

  * * * *

  A month later, Jasmine glanced at the boxes scattered in the kitchen and living room as she heard the moving truck pull away. No turning back now. She was officially a Texan. Shane had backed off from asking her to move, allowing her time to figure out what worked best for her and the baby. After going back to Florida, she’d weighed every pro and con until finally deciding that he’d been right; long-distance fatherhood wouldn’t work for the baby. She had f
lexibility in her career, at least in finding another job. He didn’t. It made sense that she relocated. She’d called Shane first and told him the news, then put in her notice with the magazine.

  Shane promised they’d start searching for a house for her and the baby, but in the mean time she’d be staying at his place, which was spacious enough. His house sure beat her one bedroom in Florida.

  Jasmine guessed moving in with Shane would cause many a lifted brow, but she wasn’t much into caring what other people thought. And it certainly wasn’t like she’d be sleeping in the same bed with him.

  She’d reminded herself many times that she and Shane were partners for the baby. Period. Staying focused on the important things must be her top priority. Time to focus on reality and the unpacking she had left to do. A quick run through her mental list: finding a new obstetrician was at the top.

  Jasmine walked down the narrow hall, searching for the guest bedroom. Bumping into the side table that partially blocked the path, she knocked over several photos. She picked up a silver framed picture of an elderly couple, guessing it was Shane’s mom and dad. The man had lighter hair than Shane, but he had his pale eyes. He also had the woman’s smile. She found it odd that the other frame was empty. Turning it over, she saw that the plastic tabs were left in the unlocked position. The back was bent. Had Shane recently removed a picture?

  Shrugging, she fixed the mess she’d made. Playing detective would come later.

  At the end of the hall stood an elegant full-length mirror. She stopped and stared at her reflection. Her body was still slender, but her breasts were larger. Palming her stomach, she imagined it fuller, rounder. Envisioning herself pregnant was difficult–even a little frightening, but not as much as she had been before she’d told Shane. Somehow, knowing she wasn’t alone any longer eased a lot of her tension.

  For the first time, in a long time, happiness seemed within reach.

  Chapter 5

  “What do you mean she’s pregnant?”

  Shawn scrubbed his jaw, entertained by the expression on his friend Pete Whitefield’s face. “Might want to catch your jaw there, Pete, before it hits the floor.”

  “And you didn’t tell her that it wasn’t you she’d slept with, but instead your dead brother? The same brother you’re pretending to be, to solve the mystery of his death. Yup, I guess congratulations are in order.” Pete gave him the thumbs-up sign. “You’re a sly dog, keeping secrets like you do.”

  “First, we can’t be sure he’s dead. Second, I’m not keeping secrets, at least from you. I trust you. That’s why you’re here helping me.” Shawn shrugged, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake in telling his buddy about the baby. He’d just needed someone to talk to.

  “You know she’ll see it as a lie. Women already think that’s all men do.” Pete shrugged. “Some plan, buddy.”

  “Back off, Pete. What’s done is done. I take responsibility for my own.”

  Pete clicked his tongue. “Have you lost your mind? You’re talking as if you slept with this woman. Your brother did the deed. This is Shane’s baby. You’re not Shane, even if you’re pretending to be.”

  “What sort of man would I be to deny my brother’s baby?”

  “Tell her the truth, then.”

  Shawn shook his head. “I can’t. Not right now. You know this investigation needs to be kept confidential.”

  “You might want to ask yourself if that’s the real reason.”

  Shawn narrowed his eyes. “What are you getting at, man?”

  Pete shrugged his broad shoulders and seemed to think about what he wanted to say. “Dude, you know I liked your brother. He was like my own brother, just as you are. You could always trust that the man had your back, but when it came to women, well, we both know he had his fair share. He didn’t care what the morning brought as long as he had the moment. You told me that yourself more than once.”

  Shawn was lost. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “You’re nothing like he was. He’d turn her away, baby and all, but that’s not in your make-up. You always were getting your brother out of trouble. Ain’t this just you sweeping up his mess once again?”

  Shawn had a lot of patience, but he felt it thinning. “This just isn’t some bimbo that wants to have another go-round with my brother. She’s carrying his child.”

  Whitfield held up his palms. “Okay, okay. I get what you’re saying. What if by a sliver of a chance, he’s alive somewhere, possibly hiding out? Will he want this woman and her baby?”

  Shawn thought over his friend’s words that he’d never considered. Had he lost hope that his brother was alive? He wasn’t sure. “I can’t think about that right now.”

  “Well, you’d better get your sleep out now and buy a box of hair dye for men, just saying.”

  “Why is that?”

  “When my brother’s wife had their little one, neither of them slept the first year. And his hair got white overnight. He calls it the battle scars of being daddy. Mark my words. No father escapes without wounds.”

  “What are you talking about? You’ve never been married nor had kids. You might be happy if you tried it,” Shawn reminded him.

  “Did I say I was unhappy? I’m fine being alone. That way I get to keep secrets.” Pete wriggled his brows.

  Shawn’s watch chimed and he glanced at the time. Pushing back in his chair, he got up, grabbing his cell off the desk and hat from the hook. “I’m heading out for the day. I have plans.”

  Pete appeared stunned. “Plans with the new girl in town?”

  “Enjoy your day, partner. We’ll take up the investigation tomorrow.”

  “You owe me.” Pete’s words followed Shawn as he headed down the hall.

  He felt a sense of pride as he climbed inside his Jeep and drove toward his house. Jasmine was there. However, his friend’s words echoed through his mind. No matter which way he sliced it, Jasmine was his responsibility. Shane had a reputation for his way with women, but Shawn knew his brother would have wanted his baby cared for.

  Pulling up along the street in front of the house, instead of getting out, he sat and stared at the red door. He hadn’t seen Jasmine in over three weeks. She’d gone back to Florida, saying she needed time to decide whether she wanted to move. When he’d gotten the call from her that she’d decided to move to Texas, he’d felt a sense of relief.

  Many times over the last few weeks, he’d thought he should tell her the truth about his brother. He wanted to tell her. Dishonesty wasn’t a game for him. He only needed to protect his brother. Finding the truth about Shane’s disappearance had become top priority for Shawn. He couldn’t allow anything, or anyone, to interfere.

  After his self-pep-talk, he slid out of the driver’s side and followed the flower-lined sidewalk to the door. The house was quiet inside. “Jasmine?” No response.

  Her car was parked in the driveway and her purse lay on the table. Putting his keys next to her purse, he made his way into the living room, stepping over a maze of boxes, then down the hall. He peeked inside the extra bedroom, now her room. He’d found her. Sleeping. Her knees were tucked up into her chest and the corner of the blanket was pulled up over one shoulder. She looked peaceful and although he shouldn’t notice, beautiful. Her wavy dark hair spread over the white pillow in a silken wave. Her skin was pale, with a touch of rosiness on her cheeks, appearing almost angelic from the sun shining through the window onto her face. The shorts she wore had ridden upward on her hip, giving him a very sexy view of long legs. Moaning and rolling, she caused the hem of her shirt to come up, exposing her slight stomach and slender waist that dipped into…damn.

  He rubbed his jaw and cursed himself for the stirring behind his zipper. His cock stood at attention like an airman did on his first day at boot camp. He’d always considered himself a man with morals, but where had they gone? His intentions were clean…well, mostly.

  “Are you going to stand there and stare, or can I help you with something?” />
  Snapping his gaze upward, he realized she’d caught him. How long had she been awake, and how much of his ogling had she seen? The lift of one corner of her mouth told him she found this humorous. Shawn wasn’t the type to get embarrassed, but he felt his cheeks burn. “I didn’t know if I should wake you.” With a kiss, he added silently.

  “What time is it?” She lifted on elbow.

  He dragged his gaze away from the view of her stomach, which he thought was just starting to show. Clearing his throat, he checked his watch. “Four thirty.”

  “I slept three hours.” With a yawn and stretch, she got up and he did his gentlemanly best not to check her out. That was no use. Her tight blue tee clung to her chest, giving him ample view of full, braless breasts. Her messy hair needed a good finger combing. He’d be more than willing to use his fingers on any part of her.

  There was a strong magnetic charge between them. He reminded himself of the harsh truth: she carried a child–and not his, but his brother’s. His missing brother’s at that. How had his life become a drama-filled mess?

  Before she slapped him in the face and told him to get the hell out, he removed his gaze and stared courteously at her face “You didn’t return my text.”

  “Was I supposed to?”

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  Slipping past him into the hall, she shrugged. “I’m fine.”

  “I see the movers got all of your things carried in.” Boxes overflowed in every inch of space. He was surprised his airman’s OCD didn’t interfere in the slightest. He followed her into the kitchen.

  “These are the things that I use on a regular basis. The rest is in storage until I move into my own place,” she said.

  “Was the trip okay?”

  She filled the kettle with water and then placed it on the burner. “I’m worn out, but I’m here now.”