My Mother in Law's Lover

by S M Mala

  ‘Do you know what happened?’ I ask looking guiltily down at my feet.

  ‘I warned you but you didn’t listen,’ she says as I walk past. ‘She’s in the living room but-’ I fly past and go straight to where she’s standing by the fireplace and calmly say,

  ‘It wasn’t my fault!’

  ‘What the hell are you doing here? You’ve got a bloody cheek to show your face!’ she snaps and I can see she’s holding on to the fireplace to keep herself from launching at me.

  ‘Joan I didn’t want you to find out,’ I gently say. ‘It was a one off sort of thing.’

  ‘How many times did you sleep with him again? Four!’

  ‘Oh, he told you? He’s very persuasive!’ I gulp and see she doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

  ‘Of course you bloody well did,’ she says flicking her ash into the hearth before giving me one of her icy stares.

  ‘No I didn’t,’ I protest a little too loudly.

  ‘All because I stopped you wrecking Josh’s life!’

  ‘I was a little put out that you-.’

  ‘Oh tell the bloody truth with you!’ she bellows at me.

  ‘Yes,’ I say realising this is not going to be easy and I could easily break her scrawny neck. ‘I thought because you upset me over Josh I’d have a pop at your bloke so, you’re right!’

  ‘Your knickers are having a hard time staying up at the moment and to be honest, when I told him about-.’

  ‘Told who?’ My heart is thumping loudly as I walk closer to her.

  ‘I thought it was best to tell Josh about your little escapade with Hal. The fact you were trying to break us up which is pretty similar to what you were doing with him and Meg, isn’t that so?’ She’s baring teeth, she has the upper hand.

  I’m buggered.

  ‘That’s completely different,’ I gulp.

  ‘How’s that?’

  ‘Josh I’ve loved for ages and only knew he cared for me on the day of the wedding.’

  ‘Such good timing! You should be proud,’ she sarcastically replies and inhales deeply from her cigarette.

  ‘And Hal… well he came on to me and I was feeling a little bit low,’ I apologetically say. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were together and I didn’t mean to cause any harm but I’ve not seen him since. Well ages ago,’ I say defiantly looking directly into her eyes. ‘Other than yesterday over lunch.’

  ‘Or over your kitchen table,’ Hal whispers in my ear making me jump. I turn to see him standing there with his shirt half unbuttoned, smiling.

  ‘What did you say to her?’ asks Joan peering at the pair of us.

  ‘I told her she should go,’ he says seriously.

  I’m in big shit!

  He walks over to Joan and kisses her gently on the cheek as they stand together looking at me.

  ‘And you slept with this?’ Joan says pointing at me looking disappointedly at Hal.

  ‘I’m not that bad,’ I say running to my own defence as no one else in the room wants to. ‘What did Josh say?’

  ‘He’s not impressed but realises you were a mistake,’ she snaps.

  Hal is grinning then pretends to be disappointed with me by shaking his head.

  ‘Tell her Hal, it didn’t mean anything between me and you, it was a bit of fun,’ I plead seeing him shrug his shoulders.

  ‘A lady shouldn’t talk about her sex life but you carry on as you’re no lady,’ she snipes waving her hand in dismay.

  ‘You know he sleeps around,’ I say pointing to Hal who is suppressing his laughter.

  ‘But not with the likes of you,’ she says in utter disappointed it makes me feel sick to the stomach.

  ‘It could be worse?’ I say.

  ‘You think?’ she sighs and I see the vein pumping in her neck as she’s very angry. ‘I didn’t think he went for rough.’

  ‘How dare you, I’m not rough! If you’re not willing to hear my apology then you can kiss my arse!’ I snap.

  ‘That’s some feat,’ she smirks

  ‘Oh I don’t know,’ says Hal smiling broadly and Joan glances at him with a faint look of disgust before he laughs.

  ‘I’m going to get a drink,’ he says and walks out of the living room. ‘Do either of you want anything?’ I see him slowly leave the room then Joan moves forward.

  ‘What the hell are you doing here? Don’t try and drive me to an early grave like you did to my son.’

  ‘I’m really sorry Joan. I didn’t mean to hurt-.’

  ‘You hurt me. You! Be serious. The only thing that pisses me off was that Hal slept with a slug like you. He can do so much better for himself but as you drop your knickers at the sight of anyone who is with someone else, what else could I expect?’

  ‘He approached me, not the other way round.’ I plead.

  ‘Give me a break,’ she says.

  ‘Don’t tempt me!’ I mumble under my breath.

  ‘And if you think you’re going to see Hal, you’re sorely wrong.’ She steps closer.

  ‘I won’t! The man was obviously desperate to piss you off, he went for me and I really don’t blame him if he wants to get away from you!’

  I feel a sharp pain across my face.

  She has slapped me!

  ‘Get out of here Belle!’ she screams and I think she’s going to have another pop.

  ‘It’ll be my pleasure!’ I run out. ‘I hope you rot in hell!’

  ‘I’ll see you there then!’ she shouts.

  My face is stinging like crazy and I’m stomping down the road.

  She hit me!

  That bitch hit me really hard!

  I should have decked her but I was a little surprised, and definitely not prepared. I could have said a lot more, if I had a wider swearing vocabulary.

  Then you can’t blame her, can you?

  ‘Belle!’ It’s Hal shouting from behind and I walk faster. ‘Will you stop!’ He runs behind me and grabs my arm.

  ‘Get off me. Let go!’ I try to kick him but he holds my leg.

  ‘Calm down!’ He says putting a hand out as if that’s going to stop me from stomping on his head.

  ‘This is your bloody fault! If you had kept your big mouth shut then I wouldn’t be in this shit.’

  ‘Will you just calm down!’ he says again.

  ‘Let go of my leg!’

  ‘If I do will you promise not to storm off or kick me?’

  ‘I can’t promise anything,’ I say feeling the sting on my cheek. He lets go of my leg slowly.

  ‘I heard the slap from the corridor. Are you all right?’ Hal says with a concerned expression on his face.

  ‘What do you care, you two faced bastard!’ I punch him on the arm. ‘Fuck off and go back to Joan.’

  ‘Come back in and calm down,’ he says grabbing my arm. ‘We’ll sort this out.’

  ‘No!’ I’m trying to push him off but am failing fast.

  ‘Come back with me.’ He’s now trying to pull me to his car.

  ‘I’m not going anywhere with you! This is your fault!’

  ‘You’re being childish, get in the car!’ he shouts and holds open the door. I feel very shaky and physically sick. I sit in silence with my head in my hands, groaning, as he drives me home.

  When we get to my kitchen he opens up the freezer, sees a bag of frozen carrots and sticks it on my face.

  ‘Ouch!’ I scream.

  ‘Stop being a cry baby.’ Hal looks at my cheek. ‘You really should buy these things fresh, you know.’

  ‘I like frozen,’ I bark, watching him try to sooth my pain. He pushes my hair away from my face.

  ‘Here.’ He takes my hand and makes me hold the bag. I stand there and I feel a bit silly. He holds my other, now unclenched, hand and takes me to the sofa, then sits me down.

  ‘Nice show back there,’ he says gently

  ‘I needed to apologise to her. What did you expect me to do?’

  He gets up and sits opposite, putting his hand o
ver his face.

  ‘You know she’s not that bad,’ Hal gently says.

  ‘Not that bad? She literally smacked my face off and-.’

  ‘You slept with me.’

  ‘You started it by telling her!’

  ‘I didn’t want either of you to get the upper hand,’ he calmly says.

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘Come on Belle! You slept with me because you know Joan loves me,’ he calmly says. ‘And therefore you had the upper hand. She has the upper hand with you because she ruined your potential love affair with Josh. This way you are equal.’

  ‘I don’t think so. She’s with you and I’m with no one,’ I sigh feeling the pain on my face.

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘Go to her!’ I press the carrots harder to my face. Hal is laughing and looks at me with his head tilted to the side. ‘You came round here and shagged me on the table yesterday and then you’re standing in her living room, laughing at me.’

  ‘I wasn’t laughing.’

  ‘You weren’t exactly sticking up for me?’ I know I’m on the verge of tears but I’m ignoring it, hoping he will.

  ‘Oh baby,’ he sympathetically says.

  ‘You knew exactly what the score was with me when we met. You abused my vulnerable state of mind.’

  ‘I told Joan I seduced you because you were also unstable,’ he laughs.

  ‘Vulnerable!’ I snap. ‘And don’t forget you felt sorry for me too.’

  ‘You know, we could work this all out?’ he says examining my cheek and scowling.

  ‘Work what out?’

  ‘Joan, you and me,’ he smiles. ‘It’s pretty obvious isn’t it?’

  ‘Is it?’ I’m looking at him hoping he’d give me some clarity but my face really hurts.

  ‘Let’s get it out in the open. I’ll see you and Joan.’

  ‘At the same time? Who says I want to see you? I mean, you’ll snitch to Joan everything I say and do.’

  ‘No I won’t,’ he says moving closer and stroking my face.

  ‘I can’t sleep with you then know you’re going to shag her.’ A cold shudder passes through my body. ‘I mean I’ve never wanted to swap fluids with Joan and I’m really not going to do it this way.’

  ‘Do you want to go to bed?’ he suddenly asks. I look at him in total disbelief and put the frozen carrots on the coffee table. ‘It’ll relax you. You’re a little bit uptight.’

  ‘Is that it with you? Sex? Do you think your dick can make everything better? Is that why you get a kick of hanging around lonely women?’ I could literally hit this man whose smiling from ear to ear as I wipe my angry tears away.

  ‘‘Lonely’ that’s an interesting word to use about Joan and yourself. You’ve got each other so why should you be lonely?’

  ‘Piss off and go play with Joan, just leave me alone.’ I pick up the carrots and I’m so tempted to aim them at him but instead I press the packet against my cheek before I snarl. ‘Joan assaulting me is turning you on, isn’t it?’

  ‘Did you enjoy our impromptu session yesterday?’ he sighs.

  I ignore him as he’s certainly getting off on this.

  ‘That’s a ‘yes’ then,’ he says with a wry smile. ‘My, oh my, you really are turning into a liberated woman. It’s making me feel horny.’

  ‘Go home. Thanks for the lift.’

  ‘No,’ he says, coming over and planting a kiss on my lips.

  ‘Get off!’ I push him away. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

  ‘Trying to make you happy.’

  I burst out crying before laughing.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ he asks, laughing. ‘You’re mad do you know that?’

  ‘I’m furious with you. How can you suggest sleeping with me and the mother in law after snitching on me?’

  ‘It’s very 21st century.’ He takes the packet out of my hand and starts to put little kisses on my face. ‘Look, let me make love to you right now. If you don’t want to see me again we can call it one last hump for old time’s sake?’

  ‘Kiss my arse!’ I stand up and he grabs my waist and starts planting kisses on my arse. ‘What are you doing?’ I ask struggling to break free of his grip.

  ‘I’m kissing your arse like you told me to.’ I push him off.

  ‘You know how Joan feels about me, come on! You must have heard all her praise about her rotten daughter in law through the years. How many years, Hal?’ He’s not getting away with it. If he hates what I’m saying then he can walk because he’s pissing me off.

  ‘I’ve known her for 20 years actually,’ he says and sits back on the sofa.

  I’m in shock.

  ‘How long have you been sleeping with her?’ I double blink.

  ‘You heard, on and off to be honest,’ he says thinking deeply then sighing. ‘Time flies as they say.’

  ‘While you were married?’ I ask, utterly shocked.

  He gets up and lunges at me again, this time kissing me very passionately. Slowly our mouths part and he’s looking into my eyes.

  ‘You really pick your moments,’ I say pushing him away wondering what he’s playing at.

  ‘I’m helping you.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘You’re too trustworthy,’ he says touching my hair.

  ‘Is that all you can say? I’m sick of men!’

  ‘I take it that includes everyone?’

  ‘Yes, including my husband.’ I eventually say. ‘He broke my heart.’

  ‘You’re over it though,’ he replies. ‘You slept with me knowing deep down I was sleeping with your mother in law.’

  ‘I know and I don’t feel good about it when you put it like that,’ I say. ‘You’ve instigated this whole thing. You saw me on the Friday receiving a body blow from the man I love and promptly got into my knickers a few days later!’

  ‘Life is too short.’

  ‘Where does Joan come into all this?’ I ask.

  ‘She wants commitment and I won’t do it.’

  ‘It’s not in your vocabulary?’

  ‘And it shouldn’t be in yours,’ he says. ‘You want the body and the soul from a man.’

  ‘And you just want the tits and bushes!’

  ‘Too right.’

  ‘She does hate me, you know,’ I calmly say. ‘She thinks I’m responsible for the death of her son. I was screaming at him down the phone when he was hit by the van. I heard the whole thing, even the bloody tune. ‘The wheels of the bus’.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘That’s why she hates me. And you know why I was shouting at him?’

  ‘I can hazard a guess.’ I see his eyes flinch before I speak.

  ‘I found out he was seeing some woman who worked for him. I wanted to kill him and unfortunately I did.’

  ‘What about the woman?’

  ‘He was on his way to see her to tell her it’s over. So he said on the phone but we’ll never know.’

  ‘How do you feel now?’ he gently asks.

  ‘He must have been shitting it as I ranted. I was so angry. But in all these years, I’ve never told Joan about her deceitful son. I’ve let her think he was the good one in the relationship.’

  ‘It’s natural to feel angry,’ he says and looks at me sympathetically. ‘You’ll find someone. Maybe Josh?’

  ‘Joan’s right. He won’t want to touch me.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I say, looking around my dishevelled house.

  ‘Sex?’ he says pointing upstairs.

  ‘Get out!’ I shout as he slowly walks to the door and smiles. ‘That’s bloody men all over. Sex on the brain!’

  Thirteen

  The time has come to ring the mother in law. It has been a few weeks and the guilt of having a small fling with her lover is still there but luckily not the sting from the slap she gave me.

  She’ll never forgive me and I’ll be reminded of my mistake for the rest of my life. What a dismal future
I have to look forward to. But she is Beth’s grandmother, so I have no choice. And telling Josh about Hal and me? What did I expect from her?

  ‘What do you want? For a moment I thought I’d never have to speak to you again. I did shed some tears laughing after I hit you, hopefully you’ve shed some stones.’ She says. I have to give her credit, for getting in quickly.

  Bitch!

  ‘I know you don’t want to talk to me,’ I can feel my heart leap into my mouth. My first reaction is to hang up.

  ‘Make it quick, I’ve got guests.’

  ‘You’re Beth’s grandmother and you haven’t seen her for ages … and if it makes you feel better, I acted appallingly and I don’t blame you for hating me more. I didn’t realise Hal and you were a long term item,’ God, this is killing me to say this. ‘It was just sex between us.’

  ‘And not very good sex from what I hear.’

  Oh, that cow knows how to put the knife in.

  ‘And I’ve slightly forgiven you for Josh,’ I say.

  ‘I don’t care what you think!’ she defiantly says. ‘At least they’re both free of you!’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry!’ I shout, not able to control my annoyance with the woman.

  ‘Oh shut up! I don’t care if you’re sorry or not. You’ve learnt your lesson. You behaved no better than a little slut and you got what you deserved, from both Hal and Josh, so take your apology and tell someone who cares.’ I have to say I’m speechless. ‘I’d like to see my granddaughter, though. I hope you’re looking after her properly and not introducing her to strange men.’

  I’ve been told to bugger off even with my humble apology. I know she hates me but come on, a bit of compassion? No, maybe not.

  ‘Get Maggie to call me and we’ll arrange something,’ I say hanging up. I swallowed all my pride and better judgement to apologise.

  So how comes that makes me feel pissed off?

  A week later I’m on the way to Joan’s to pick up Beth, who has been stuck with her for the night. Poor baby, I’ll have to be nice and I suspect the witch, and her maid, are spoiling my child rotten. Maggie opens the door and Beth is nowhere to be seen.

  ‘What has she done with my child?’ I ask, kissing Maggie and walking towards the kitchen.

  ‘They went out for lunch but she’ll be back in a moment.’