The Snowmaiden, A Bride for Krampus

by Jeanette Lynn

  Balls.

  Chapter 9

  It was beyond cold. I was shivering with it as we walked farther and farther into the wilds of this winter wonderland. And I meant that literally after we passed the weird trees with white and red candy cane stripes along them. I was in a Candy Land landscape on crack. All those Christmas themed miniatures, gingerbread houses, cotton candy puff filled candy cane stripe trunked trees, rivers of hot cocoa, I was in some dust snort induced alternate reality of Santa’s Village proportions. The rocks we just passed were the normal greys and red, with the odd green one mixed in, and not in a moss covered kind of thing but translucent like a gelatin mold or gum drop, jiggle when you touch it, type of deal.

  I’d assume I’d died but then that would mean this was Hell—I could feel things and knew I was very much still alive. I’d love more than anything to plead dust snort hallucinogenic trip, but there was nothing psychotropic, psychedelic, or otherwise to give it any kind of credence. I very much felt in my own head, worry over what was going to happen to me aside.

  My hands wiggled experimentally in the ropes tying them but it was no use. The Elf was smart, and even though he left enough give on my leash, he was the best knot maker I’d ever witnessed. Both males had taken an end of my leash to keep me tethered between them. There was nowhere to run, should I get loose, and if I could these ties weren’t coming loose anytime soon. Beyond that, the stamina of these two, and the fact they almost looked like they were giving off steam as they moved, yet here my ass was huffing and puffing, feeling half frozen solid. My skin pricked, numb in spots and stinging with needle pricks in others.

  Glancing over at me as I trailed just a short ways behind the Elkfen, as he was babbling his ‘kind’ called themselves like I really flipping cared, Bels at my rear to prod me into continuing on with a bony fingered, clawed fingernails poke at my shoulder that made me want to stab the Elf man in the face, Ded paused and cocked his head. A slow, eerie smile twisted lips as strangely colored as the fur surrounding his mouth. Ded’s oddly flared nostrils twitched. “Her eyes, Bels,” the tall male murmured, gesturing at my face.

  “What’s wrong with my eyes?” Good god, what now?! They stung a little and I was sure I had a bit of crust gathering about the lashes, getting dust thrown in your face could do that to you, but otherwise all seemed fine as far as these eyeballs were concerned.

  Coming around me as I slowed to a stop, my hands going to my eyes worriedly, Bels got one look at me and the scowl on his face turned to shocked surprise.

  “Well I’ll be gingerbreaded,” Bels murmured, his gingery eyebrows threatening to kiss his hairline.

  “What?” I blurted, my tied hands fluttering about my face. “What’s wrong with me?”

  Bels blinked, dragging his gaze from my eyes to take note of the panicked look on my face. “They’re blue,” he said finally, then glanced away and trudged back behind me to resume his post prodding the human cattle.

  “They’re beautiful,” Ded said suddenly, causing me to jolt. He was so close I could smell the fresh oatmeal cookie scent that seemed to linger on his person.

  After all this walking and dragging me around, the thought of anything sweet in this moment made me want to gag. With oatmeal cookie Elkfen at the front and cinnamon roll stinkin’ Elf at my back, I was one deep sniff away from tossing my cake and chicken dinner from last night.

  Leaning away from Ded as the male leaned in closer, his chest doing that weird rattling thing that made me cringe, he went to reach out towards my face. His hand paused as I went to jerk back.

  The hopeful look on his face fell and he pulled back to turn and continue walking. Ded’s face was looking funny, not quite pale but not the same rich colored browns lining his features as there had been before. Were they changing from this place too?

  Glancing over my shoulder to find Bels staring after his friend with a concerned look on his thin face, it looked as if the Elf had noticed the difference in Ded as well.

  Should I be worried, I wondered. Or, could this work to my advantage..?

  “So… what’s a Snowmaiden, why am I one? What’s with the eye changing thing?” My eyes were brown, plain ol’ regular brown, like my natural, slowly going grey, hair color—though I was sporting a vibrant blue dye job at the moment that made me think You’re a mermaid, Lumi, go sing the siren song of your people and drag a few men below the depths. Uhm, or something like that.

  “You ask a lot of questions,” Bels muttered from behind me. “I think I liked you better when you were screaming.”

  “I don’t.” Ded’s free hand went to that twitching Elk looking furry ear on the side of his head and he gently cupped it. “It makes my heart hurt.”

  Brown doe eyes met mine and he smiled. “I like the brown, but the blue is pretty, too, like the lakes in the village. Clear, bright, with little glittery pieces shining like silver dust.”

  Not quite knowing what to say to that, or if I really should, my parted lips slowly clamped shut and I blanked my expression.

  With a sheepish smile, he dropped his hand and shrugged. “You’re going to help Shnikel. That’s what the maiden does.”

  “Right… but what exactly, are you expecting me to do?” I wondered aloud.

  Ded’s face screwed up as he looked my way once more, almost knocking an antler on the big tree with branches overburdened by candy canes growing right from it we passed under. Come spring time, this place was probably a melty, sticky wasteland. “I don’t…” he glanced to Bels for help over my shoulder, “rightly know…”

  “Wait. So you’re saying you’ve drugged me-”

  “Dusted,” Bels corrected—though, really, was there a damned difference?

  “Tied me to a sex chair-” I went on, ticking these things off on my fingers.

  A gasp left Ded. “That wasn’t a defecating stool?!” he squawked.

  Bels snapped his fingers from behind me. “I was so close,” he opined.

  “You all need to get out more,” I commented with a deadened tone. But went on anyway, because why the hell not? “Dragged me out into the middle of nowhere, straight on through to Candy Cane Lane on the other side in some alternate realm, reality, I don’t even know-”

  “Hinterlands. More of another dimension, really, a different plane. It borders on yours,” Bels offered helpfully, thank you very much, jingle toes!

  “On the off chance the first random stranger you meet, me, might be some Snowmaiden person descendant of your Hinter whatever, hoping I might maybe but you’re not entirely sure how, help your friend, Shniky-”

  “Shnikel,” Ded said quickly.

  “Whatever,” I clipped out, tossing my tied hands up, jerking on my ropes. “The point is, this is crazy, you both are crazy, and apparently I am, too, to be even discussing this and not losing my shit freaking out,” I finished on a huff. It was hard to breathe. Working up a steam in this cold was really taking it out of me.

  Taking a deep breath while they watched, waited, for once, waiting for more because I obviously wasn’t finished yet, call me crazy too, but I muttered on a sigh, “What am I supposed to maybe, kind of, possibly do? You know, as a Snowmaiden person? Do you even have a hint of something, or are we just going into this butt blind?”

  Ded and Bels exchanged a look. Ded pointed at the Elf. God, if this was all real and my gut was saying this was so, I was looking at a freaking Christmas-y alternative cursing, honest to god Santa’s helper and his furry, anthropomorphic sidekick. Did he pull the sleigh, I thought with a poorly muffled laugh.

  “Bels would know more. It’s in the lore. The Team doesn’t have access to lore.” Ded shrugged apologetically, then, folding his hands in front of his person, camouflaging the semi hardy he’d been sporting for most of this trip, looked to Bels.

  Clearing his throat, Bels lifted his chin and gave a sniff. “Well… it’s all very… magical, a bit complicated, if you must know, and I’m not entirely certain how it’s specifically going to work, just that
a, erm, maiden is needed, and that you will deliver Shnikel from his… illness.”

  “Look, guys, you have the wrong gal. I’m not a healer. I have no special capabilities unless making up stories is your kind of juju, okay? I-”

  “I love stories!” Ded said quickly, that stubby tail over the top of his furry ass crack starting to waggle away. “Tell us one!”

  “Ded, now is hardly the time,” Bels blustered, huffing and chuffing his annoyance.

  Ded’s face fell but his stubby tail remained at half wag. “Later then, after she helps Shnikel? When she makes him well?” Ded looked to his friend for confirmation.

  Bels stood there staring and blinking at his friend for so long, like he was waiting for him to catch something the Elkfen just wasn’t catching on to. I’d certainly caught the drift all was not as it seemed. The Elf knew more than he was willing to say in my presence, something he might have at one point told or hinted at the Elkfen to. An uneasy feeling twisted my guts but again, what the hell could I do but bide my time until the right moment, hopefully, struck?

  Ded leaned around me, glancing between the Elf and me.

  “Sure, Ded, whatever you want, buddy,” Bels said quickly, shaking his head to turn, taking lead with my rope leash firmly gripped in his hand, heading off in the same direction Ded had.

  “Joy to the world,” Ded said excitedly. His antsy clops behind me had the hairs on my nape standing on end. “We’re almost there,” he whispered, a note of excitement in his voice that had my guts tumbling all over again.

  “The caves aren’t too far from here!” Bels called over the wind starting to come howling in. We were entering a valley, a strange mishmash of Earth world landscape and this wilds of Other, Christmas-y kookiness.

  “What is that?” I just had to go and ask. Sticky looking, sweet smelling clumps bursting from gingerbread looking leaves on a sticker filled blood red bush.

  “That?” Ded plucked a sticky ball of brown with bits of hard looking pieces and green and red chunks inside it. Squishing the spongy, moist mass, he popped it into his mouth and happily began chewing. “Fruitcake bramble,” he mumbled around his mouthful. “Won sum?” he mumbled out around his bite.

  “No,” I said in a rush, and shook my head.

  “She might lose her stomach again,” Bels cautioned Ded. Motioning us to keep moving as the rocks and that mountain to our left grew larger and closer, he said with the first bit of real cheer I’d heard from the male since being forced into his company.

  “We didn’t pick the first person we found,” Ded drew closer to whisper in my ear. Watching him through the corner of my eye, he licked his lips, his large-eyed gaze dipping from me, focusing too long on my nape peeking from my coat, to his friend. A chill crept up my spine. I wasn’t sure what would be a worse fate, meeting this Shnikel to try and help him, or having to deal with Ded’s weird eyeball fucking, fearing what he might impulsively decide to try with me, a moment longer.

  “You were the naughtiest one we came across,” he quickly continued on, but stepped back and quickly assumed the position of cautious back end to this prison train as Bels’ ears swiveled and he turned suddenly.

  “Everything alright back there?” Bels’ eyes narrowed, large, pointed ears flushing flat against his skull.

  “Ded was just telling me why he thinks I’m the one,” I informed the Elf dryly.

  Bels glanced from me to a spot over my shoulder. “You were a surprising fit in the end.” His gaze slowly slid away and he turned forward once more to trudge on. “I’d like to think your potential ties to Hinter, if I am in fact correct, will be to our advantage.”

  The look Ded gave me said he thought I was the one alright, but not in a help his friend in need kind of a thing.

  Glancing up at him from beneath my lashes, I offered him a friendly smile. Would he go against Bels to help me if he thought I was into him?

  Ded beamed, pleased with the mild flirtation. His ears began to flick like they itched and he stood up taller. The tufts of fur on his chest, darker towards the top of his fur covered pecs to taper off into a white and grey speckled poof, puffed out.

  After a moment his mouth moved, like he wanted to say something, but then his brow pulled down into a slight frown. His lips slowly dipped downward. Again and again he started the stop and repeat thing, like he just couldn’t find the right words. I supposed one might think it adorable, if they weren’t receiving said looks from the male who’d drugged and kidnapped them and meant to use them to help their friend out in some as of yet defined to me way. I supposed...

  His eyes were a crazy brown color with flecks of gold and green in them, yellow near the irises, the lightest green hugging the outside of the brown. Ded’s eyes locked on mine and I felt like something, some undefinable thing, had snapped into place. A wave of dizziness fell over me. The way Ded was blinking, I wanted to ask him if he felt it too. The longer we stared, eyeballs locked, the harder it was becoming to draw away. What the hell? My heart started to pound a mile a minute, palms going sweaty. Drugs. It was that dust stuff. Had to be.

  “Ded,” Bels barked suddenly, snapping us out of the strange staring contest that’d overcome us. The Elf looked flustered, as if he’d been calling us for some time.

  “Hmm?” Ded looked like he had to drag his gaze away from me.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Bels demanded. His eyes were so bright I could practically make out the liquid silver bubbling.

  Ded blinked. He stared at his friend. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  I had a weird out of body sense kind of moment as I saw the cave mouth just up ahead. Instead of the whimsical meets winter landscape we’d been in, I felt like we’d just strolled up to the antagonist in this piece’s dark lair. Gloom and doom wrapped up in a purple-mountained, snowcapped package. The sun had disappeared as if it had never been, in its place a chill on the air that had my teeth chattering loudly. The place had a total Beware all who dare to enter vibe going on. It had an I boil Misfit Toys atmosphere that made me want to grab the first character from my favorite childhood movie I came across, tuck it into my coat, and get our ill-fitting-in butts the Hello, Santa outta here. The place was rife with dark, bad, do not enter, ominous tones.

  Apparently, while Ded and I were having a… whatever that was, we’d just strolled right on up to this place like a couple of Whos down in Whoville tromping up to the Grinch’s digs on a dare.

  “Just this way now.” Bels held out a hand, motioning for me to precede him into the cold-mountain-deathscape’s entrance.

  My steps slowed until I found my back bumping into Ded’s front and my heels started to dig in. “You’re sure he’s in there...?” I stammered.

  A strange noise echoing from the depths of that hell mouth had me balking. My heart felt like it had shot up to my throat, that heavy thump-thump pounding away so loudly in my ears I could barely make out anything else. I was literally drowning in my own panic.

  “I don’t-” I started to protest.

  “Times-a-wastin’,” Bels snarled impatiently. “If it isn’t too late already. Ded, grab her!”

  As if the Elf had seen I was about to try and bolt, ropes be damned, he lunged as I went to dive to my left. Strong arms came around me as Bels and I collided.

  Frantic, I clamped my teeth down around the first bit of flesh I came into contact with. Howling, Bels jerked free and then his teeth sank right into me, clean through my coat. A scream left me as he snarled and began to shake my arm like a dog. The only thing that stopped the Elf from mauling me further was Ded jerking me back, a startled noise leaving him. The Elf flopped to his ass in the snow. His mouth was covered in strange brown ick. It reeked of molasses.

  Glancing down at my bitten arm as Bels sneered and swiped the sticky mess from his lips, I gaped at all the blood and brown smearing my coat.

  “Bring her inside,” Bels grumbled out, his voice a strange, strained, high pitched snarl.

  “What the hell ju
st happened?” I whispered wonderingly.

  “You never wondered how the big guy has gone around for so long without being caught? It’s even greater if you realize time runs differently here. You have your Christmas once a year, but here on our time, in Hinter we’re ready every three cheese-ball-in-the-sky fullnesses for the big day, The Night. Four Christmases a year.” The arms banding around me gave me a squeeze. “You’ll like it here, you’ll see.” Clearing his throat, Ded leaned in to whisper, “Just don’t eat any of the fruit that falls, from the vine or off the branch.” Shaking his head, his fur dusting the top of my head with the action, he babbled on, “Spoiled as soon as it hits the ground. Makes a wonderful sleeping draught but it’s potent, dangerous to humans.”

  “Ded!” Bels bellowed.

  “We’re coming!” Ded called out hurriedly as a weird, foggy feeling slowly started to fill my head. I was lightheaded and the burning pain in my arm was suddenly no more than a light itch.

  By the time Ded had lugged me into the dark, cavernous space to where Bels was waiting, I felt like I was in a weird dream state.

  Chapter 10

  “I’ve bitten you, that’s what you’re feeling,” Bels commented as he worked. The ties at my hands loosened, falling to my feet as I stood there blankly staring after him, pliant and loose. My jacket was next. I felt the cold, but it was like I’d shelved everything at the present and put it all into a little box to get to later.

  I all but helped him get me out of my boots.

  My toes pricked, the rest of me bared past the pinpricks feeling and cold to the point I couldn't tell if I was moving them.

  “We need some more fruitcake,” Bels told Ded, who was staring at me with a glazed look in his eyes. Not personally feeling I was all that impressive in my underpants and nothing else, knowing in the back of my mind, should I have been in the right mind I’d have told him to quit staring, a funny noise left me that had the Elkfen ungluing his eyes from my breasts and glancing to Bels. “Fruitcake,” Bels barked at Ded.