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Dani's Shorts 3

Page 10

by Dani J Caile


  59 - Whack a Mole Game, bag of Body Bags, theologian, atheist

  60 (TIW Spring Open Final) - Steampunk Camera, A dried, pressed rose, A glass house, A conveyor Belt

  61 - lace shawl, revolving doors, image of a fire-eater on a beach at night, duct tape

  62 - bunsen burner, ski lodge, cactus, bikini

  Brian's Birthday Challenge - 50 words - heart-throb, airport pat down, Whitesnake lyrics

  63 - cave etchings, wooden club, fur, best/worst pick up line ever

  The Goatee of Neal (Impromu Relay)

  64 (Annual Final) - (pet fairy, Acquired savant syndrome, letter to future self, as many homonyms as possible) Extra - 1 element from each Preliminary Round and Open Final - incubus (incubi), kitchen apron, rhinestone tiara, victim, glass house, bagpipes, Atlantis, balloon animals)

  The Rotation (Impromtu relay)

  Genre Mash-Up 1 Test 1

  65 - Anthony E Pratt, a Room, a Weapon, a Character

  66 (Grudge 6) - one of the main characters has a paper bag on their head, Rav Shaul, keywords from 8 processes of beer making in sequence, format of a radio script

  Genre Mash-Up Test 2

  67 - Dice, The Gods, Cocktails, Irrigation Boots

  68 - Rock, paper, scissors, shaving cream

  The Cat and the Monkey (Impromtu relay)

  69 - the King and Queen of the Zombie Masquerade Ball, Thornwood tableware, Fly Ranch Geyser, as many Janus words as possible

  70 - demolition derby, light sabres, mud wrestling, roman candles

  71 (TIW Summer Open Prelim) - image-Minion Dave, image-Avengers and Justice League in a bar playing pool, travelling chamber pot salesperson, story must be told from the point of view of the Death, the Grim Reaper

  72 - Repeated unsuccessful attempts at starting a campfire/fireplace fire, favorite childhood memory that actually is a lie, funeral of a stranger, sign "fail"

  73 - lost key, travel brouchure, thermostat, Dessert topping

  The Iron Writer Party Line (Impromtu relay)

  74 - horse, umbrella, car battery, told from the point of view of a defense attorning invoking the Stupidity Defense. (The attorney pleas stupidity, rather than insanity)

  75 (Grudge 7) - halberdier, one (and only one) of the characters must be aware of the audience, must be written entirely as dialogue, the story must take place at the Dairy Queen.

  76 (Grudge 8) - A Pink Fairy Armadillo, A Mason Jar, Mount St. Helen, A Wii U

  77 - A Suit of Armor, A Pitcher’s Mound, Gluten Free, Locke’s Socks

  78 - A Poodle, A Thimble, An Alarm, Birds as Characters

  Weekend Quickie 24 - image - girl playing piano in 'room tornado', element - wolf, emotion - a change of heart

  Weekend Quickie 25 - image - Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo, element - Mardi Gras beads, emotion - curiousity

  Weekend Quickie 26 - image - meteor/comet over Stonehenge at night, element - a message in a bottle, emotion - intrigue

  Weekend Quickie 27 - image - woman sitting on bed with a bear, element - a handsome newspaperman’s birthday, emotion - a feeling of anxiety brought on by the omission of a comma

  Weekend Quickie 28 - image - El Rancho Motel and restaurant sign at night , element - an arrowhead, emotion - serendipity

  Weekend Quickie 29 - image - palne docked on a pier on a beach, element - 5 Iron Writers, emotion - wanderlust

  Weekend Quickie 30 - image - Highway 2 sign towards Tijuana, element - yellow scorpion, emotion - indecision

  Weekend Quickie 31 - image - steampunk Zepplin, element - bacon, emotion - optimism

  Weekend Quickie 32 - image - bakery, element - coconut cake for Easter, emotion - inspired devotion

  Weekend Quickie 33 - image - tornado, element - the far away sound of someone singing, emotion - denial

  Weekend Quickie 34 - image - screaming couple with screaming baby, element - a tip from a waitress, emotion - distraction

  Weekend Quickie 35 - image - "Don't go in the woods" sign in the woods, element - an errand for your mother, emotion - suspicion

  Weekend Quickie 36 - image - UFO over a beach with girl and boy running, element - dandelion bracelet, emotion - incredulity

  Weekend Quickie 37 - image - fireflies in a jar, element - timber rattler (rattlesnake), emotion - nostalgia

  Weekend Quickie 38 - image - old woman in a kitchen with floating apples, element - lost shoes, emotion - exuberance

  Weekend Quickie 39 - image - 'mermaid' / shark egg, element - cumerindine, emotion - inspiration from a song on the radio

  Weekend Quickie 40 - image - VW campervan at night, element - hitchhiker, emotion - hopeful excitement

  Weekend Quickie 41 - image - bowling alley lane and balls, element - a dare, emotion - disenchantment

  Weekend Quickie 42 - image - fireworks in Washington, element - a feeling of independence, emotion - synesthesia

  Weekend Quickie 43 - image - people jumping from cliff into water, element - the summer after Junior Year at High School, emotion - determination

  Weekend Quickie 44 - image - Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris, element - an artist, emotion - love at first sight

  Weekend Quickie 45 - image - 59th Queensboro Bridge, New York, element - a chance encounter, emotion - thrill

  Weekend Quickie 46 - image - alien baby, element - 5 years later, emotion - denial

  Weekend Quickie 47 - image - 2 people with snorkels in a lake, element - Iron Writer Convention, emotion - irony

  Weekend Quickie 48 - image - fawn following boz to a standing school bus, element - a forgotten rule, emotion - prescience

  Weekend Quickie 49 - image - rollerskating inside venue, element - a Saturday afternoon, emotion - intrigue

  Other work by Dani J Caile

  All books are available on Amazon

  'Dani's Shorts' (Volume 1)

  'Dani's Shorts' is a collection of 500 word short stories based on the elements given in the Iron Writer Challenge. These 28 short stories show a range of Dani's favourite writing styles, including pair dialogues, internal thoughts and sardonic parodies.

  'Dani's Shorts 2' (Volume 2)

  Yes, it's Volume 2 of TIW shorts! Yet another collection of totally pointless exactly 500 and exactly 200 word nonsense to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as you enjoyed Volume 1.

  "I hope you find the stories creative, serious, humorous, filled with pointless nonsense and poignant emotions. I hope you get angry, I hope you laugh, I hope you cry. I hope you share this work with everyone you know. Isn’t that what good writing is for?"

  B Y Rogers (The Iron Writer Challenge)

  If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...

  https://theironwriter.com/

  …the 1st book …

  ‘Man by a tree’

  Take a devilish romp through a world of death, where souls pay for experiences, monkeys are the hosts, and Reginald is the service provider.

  Reginald has been in control for millennia. With His staff of hundreds, and millions of souls passing through to experience the delights of physicality, his reign has become complacent. His servants, Satan and Lucifer, jump at the chance to take what they see as rightfully theirs.

  The Grim Reaper, or Graham Reader as he calls himself, has been doing his job of transporting souls ever since he can remember to gain his wings. But he has become tainted by the actions of the monkeys living on the planet. Unbeknown to him, a plan is afoot to change the status quo of 'up above' and 'down below', where he is a linchpin to both interested parties.

  “Sharp, dark and sardonic are rarely found wrapped in single package” Greg Levin (Notes on an Orange Burial)

  https://www.createspace.com/3731273

  …the 2nd book …

  ‘The Bethlehem Fiasco’

  With only one sane man in the desert, can the answers he seeks be found? Or will it be the death of him?

  In a time when hobgoblins and angels run
amok, can the universe survive the petty struggles of the powers that be? Based on as yet unreleased papyrus scriptures found in a 2nd floor bedsit in Lewisham, England, this is the 'true' story of one man.

  "Irreverent, quirky and fun" Fredrik Nath (The Cyclist)

  "...a light and breezy read..." Iso Nuys (Paid on Return)

  "I loved it!" Dave Tarragon (The Chemo Diaries)

  https://www.createspace.com/3783797

  …the 3rd …

  ‘The Rage of Atlantis’

  Bombs, angels, dolphins, hobgoblins, crazy monkeys, Reginald in a rage, Satan on the toilet...all mixed with absurdly serious issues.

  Will a selfish plan for immortality destroy the human race? Or will there be light ‘beyond’ the end of the tunnel?

  High Chief of Security Sipho, with his female dolphin sidekick Kang Dee, investigates the latest in a long line of terrorist attacks by the ‘unseen’ against Atlantis, the utopian gem of the physical universe, and finds more than he could have ever imagined.

  "If you loved Douglas Adams, then you're bound to love Dani J. Caile!" Jasper T. Scott (Escape, Dark Space)

  "Hilarious" Eponymous Rex (B.O.T.)

  "Flash Gordon meets Water-world" Karen Bates (Faking it in France)

  https://www.createspace.com/3845760

  …the 4th …

  ‘Manna-X’

  Reginald sends Graham Reader (aka the Grim Reaper), out on a mission to find Code 237-Manna-X, the Manna Machine after the Overlords warn him of an imminent (3000 year old) threat against the security of both the physical and non-physical realms.

  Will Graham find the fantastic yet deadly device before anyone or anything else does?

  "I haven't come across anything quite like this..." Debbie Roxburgh (Speedy McCready)

  "With your wily work [Dani], I tend to focus on what's in parentheses. (I also think you are very misunderstood...and possibly always have been.)" Eponymous Rox (B.O.T.)

  "Manna-X is one roar of laughter after the next!" Jasper T. Scott (Escape, Dark Space)

  https://www.createspace.com/4151484

  Available on Amazon soon...

  'Circuits & Steam'

 

  (Three Fates Press)

  Circuits & Steam is an anthology featuring bold tales of man meets machine. Encounter eight exciting stories from authors K.A. DaVur, Sara Marian, Brick Marlin, Thomas Lamkin, Jr., Marian Allen, Katina French, James W. Peercy and Dani J. Caile, told in a cyberpunk or steampunk style. What makes you human? In the dystopian near-future, a desperate young woman makes a stunning decision, a cybernetically-enhanced waitress discovers her true nature, a white collar worker learns the true cost of her latest technological enhancement and a streetwise urchin makes desperate a bid for freedom. What defines your destiny? We journey to a 19th century that never was for a humorous tale of airship adventure, a town under attack by mechanical monsters, a case of alchemy and mistaken identity, and a gritty adventurer faced with a telling choice. Cyberpunk and steampunk explore our often toxic relationship with technology. Do our gadgets make us more than human, or just more human? Step inside our time machine and find out....

  Coming soon…

  ‘How to build a castle in seven easy steps’

  (Three Fates Press)

  No one was injured in the making of this book. However, there may be some

  casualties while reading.

  In an ancient and long-forgotten deranged land obsessed with power, greed and

  mud, one boy alone stands up to the problems around him. His is a typical story of

  'boy meets girl, boy turns into soup, escapes, boy meets girl again, boy is kidnapped

  and becomes the 'chosen one' for a tribe of canibalistic vampirish desire-driven

  crazed warriors, boy leads them into battle, loses the chance to bed hundreds of

  Amazonian women and finally wins the girl'. Come, accompany him on his fantastic

  wonderful superb journey. Or follow the cat.

  …and also another small freebie…

  ‘TDX2’ (Too Dull to Die)

  Guido's dead, but he hasn't lived yet. Will he get a second chance? Or will Satan have his evil way?

  Dull Guido has kept himself out of trouble (and life) for 34 years 5 months and 14 days, only to die on the night before he finally has his first big adventure, a world cruise. Graham Reader, the Grim Reaper, tries to help him navigate the world 'up above', only for Guido to find out that there are worse things than death - Satan's tool cupboard.

  And remember, if you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...

  https://theironwriter.com/

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