Going For It (Texas Titans #7)

by Cheryl Douglas

  Before Blaise could respond, someone knocked on the door. “Come in.”

  Kiara poked her head in, her smile fading when she spotted Rowan. “Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt. I can come back later.”

  “No,” Rowan said, jumping to his feet. “I was just leaving. Come on in.”

  Kiara seemed hesitant since Blaise wasn’t the one issuing the invitation. “Um, are you sure?” she asked Blaise.

  “Definitely.” Blaise beckoned her. Damn, she looked good in her black cotton-spandex tank top and running shorts, and her long hair tied up in a ponytail.

  “Since my brother seems to be a little tongue-tied,” Rowan said, hooking a finger over his shoulder as he smiled at Kiara and offered his hand, “I’ll make the introductions. I’m Rowan. You must be Kiara.”

  “Yes, I am.” She shook Rowan’s hand, smiling warmly. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Blaise has told me so much about you.”

  Rowan winced. “I’d like to tell you it’s not true, but I’m afraid it is.”

  “Hey,” Kiara said, gripping his forearm, “nobody’s perfect. I’m not here to judge.”

  Just like that, she melted Blaise’s heart. The fact that she was willing to overlook his brother’s mistakes as easily as she’d overlooked his gave him hope that maybe she wasn’t looking for perfection after all.

  “I’ll catch up with you later, Row,” Blaise said, sitting up straighter.

  “Yeah, sure.” Rowan grinned at Kiara before looking over his shoulder. “Do not screw this up.”

  Kiara closed the door behind Rowan before facing Blaise. She seemed a little uncertain. “Hi.”

  “Hi, yourself.”

  “I’m sorry for the way we left things.” She stood behind one of the two guest chairs, gripping the back of the wooden frame.

  “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I’m the one who should be sorry, and I am.” He’d had countless hours to replay that night in his mind. If he hadn’t let old insecurities dominate their time together, that argument never would have happened. Her body language made him uncomfortable. He wanted her to be sitting in his lap, with her arms around his neck, not halfway across the room with a solid barrier between them. “I guess the question is whether we can put it behind us.”

  She blew out a long, slow breath. “I really want to.”

  “Good, so do I.” He grinned. “So why the hell are you still standing way over there? Get over here, girl.”

  She wasted no time obeying his command. The armless chair allowed her to straddle him, threading her hands through his hair. “I missed you as soon as you left.” Her lips met his.

  “I missed you too, baby.” He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent. “How’d your meeting go?”

  “Great, I signed him.”

  “Awesome, congrats. We’ll have to celebrate later.” He nuzzled the skin behind her ear and grinned when she trembled. “How ‘bout the dinner with your friends? Did you have fun?”

  She pulled away slightly, planting her hands on his shoulders. “Um, Eli was there. I had no idea he would be until I got there.”

  “Huh.” Blaise could allow his jealousy to rise to the surface, but he didn’t want to end up back where they’d started, so he held his temper. “How did that go?”

  “You’re not upset?” she asked, sounding surprised.

  “That depends. How did it go? Did he give you a hard time?”

  “He tried, but I put him in his place.”

  He tightened his grip, drawing her closer. “That’s my girl.”

  “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

  “Don’t need to. I trust you.” And he did. He knew she wouldn’t end up in her ex-boyfriend’s arms looking for comfort just because they’d had a fight. She was better than that. They were more solid than that.

  “Thank you.” She slid her hand over the stubble on his jaw. “Seriously, that means a lot to me.”

  “Yeah, well, you mean everything to me.” He smacked her bottom. “Get your sweet self out there and get that session over with so I can take you home.”

  She looked intrigued. “Hmm, what do you have in mind?”

  He drew her lower lip between his teeth. “Make-up sex. Lots and lots of really hot make-up sex.”

  ***

  Kiara was surprised to find Rowan waiting for her outside his brother’s office.

  “Your trainer’s running late. You mind if we talk before your session?” he said.

  “Sure.”

  He gestured toward an empty office. “Let’s go in here. Sadie’s left for the day.”

  “Okay.” She followed him, suddenly uneasy. Was he going to warn her off, tell her he didn’t think she was right for his brother? “Um, what’s up?”

  “My brother’s crazy about you. Surely you know that.”

  “I’m crazy about him too.”

  “Good.” Rowan perched on the edge of the desk. “I’m glad to hear that.” He sighed. “You know Blaise and I have been estranged for a while, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t think he’s had anyone looking out for him in a long time. I mean, he has friends, and he had his manager and trainers, but—”

  “They’re not his family.” She squeezed his hand. “I get it.”

  “Blaise was always there for me growing up, and I guess I feel like I let him down, getting messed up with all that shit. I want to make him proud now and have his back.”

  “That’s why you wanted to talk to me?” Kiara asked, touched by the sentiment. “To make sure that I’m not going to hurt him?”

  “You may think this is none of my business, and you’re right, but—”

  She smiled. “It’s okay. I know this is coming from a place of concern. Tell me what you need to know to put your mind at ease.”

  “Do you love him?”

  Wow, that was direct. “Yes.”

  “Could you see yourself spending your life with him?”

  Kiara held her breath for a minute before she responded. “We’re still getting to know each other. We have a long way to go before we decide about the future.”

  “But you’re not discounting the possibility?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Rowan seemed to weigh his words carefully. “He needs somebody that he can count on. A woman. A partner.” He sighed. “He likes to pretend that he doesn’t need anyone, that he’s a tough guy, and he is…”

  “But everyone needs someone, right?” She’d always thought so. That was why she’d never stopped looking for the one.

  “Yeah.” Rowan shrugged. “The way we grew up, we learned pretty early on that you can’t trust anyone, not even your parents. That’s why it’s so hard for Blaise to trust a woman.”

  “I suspected that.” Kiara hoped the one other person who could shed some light on Blaise’s childhood would trust her enough to let her in on their family secrets.

  “He’s been through a lot.”

  Kiara touched Rowan’s shoulder. “You both have.”

  “Yeah, but he was the one always trying to drag me out. I can’t tell you how many times he hunted me down, beat the shit out of my dealer, and dragged me back home. He tried so hard to help me find my way, but I kept getting lost. Eventually he realized there was nothing he could do, that I was taking him down with me.”

  “I’m sure that was a very painful decision,” Kiara said softly. “I know how much he loves you.”

  “He did the right thing. He walked away because he had to—he didn’t have a choice. I guess that’s part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. I feel like I may have been the person to break his spirit, and you’re the one who could help to rebuild it.”

  Kiara was touched that Rowan thought so highly of her, but she couldn’t deny that his words were a heavy burden. “I think having you back in his life has already helped with that.”

  “He’ll try to push you away. Not because he wants to, but because he questions whether he can really hav
e a normal, healthy relationship. He’s never had one, and we sure as hell didn’t have a good example of that growing up.”

  “I understand.” She did understand, even if she couldn’t relate.

  “Do you understand?” Rowan looked her in the eye, refusing to allow her to look away. “Do you really? He won’t make it easy for you. You’ll want to leave him. I know you will because he’ll make you crazy by questioning you all the time about what you see in him.”

  “How do you know all this?” Kiara asked. “Has Blaise talked to you about me? About us?”

  Rowan shrugged. “He needed someone to talk to. He didn’t want to, though. I practically had to drag it out of him. But if addiction’s taught me one thing, it’s how harmful keeping everything bottled up like that can be. Especially since Blaise isn’t fighting anymore. He doesn’t have that outlet.”

  “Would it be selfish of me to admit I’m glad he’s not boxing anymore?” Kiara said, feeling guilty for voicing her feelings to someone who may have a very different take on the situation.

  “No, it’s not selfish.” Rowan slid farther back on the desk, letting his feet dangle an inch or two above the floor. “You love him. You’d worry about him if he were still in the ring. But make no mistake, Kiara, he lost a big part of himself when he had to retire.”

  “I can imagine.” She knew how she would feel if she couldn’t work anymore. It would crush her.

  “This gym is helping some, and working with fighters again…” He clasped his hands between his knees. “That’s a double-edged sword. He never wanted to be the guy outside the ring. I think he’d be a great trainer or manager, but his heart is still inside the ring. That’s where he feels he belongs.”

  “I know.” Kiara walked around the small office to put some space between herself and the truth so she could breathe. “You don’t think he’d ever try to fight again, do you? Against doctor’s orders?” Seeing him take that kind of risk, knowing the outcome could be catastrophic, would kill her.

  “He’s never said anything to lead me to believe he would,” Rowan said. “I think now that you’re in his life, he feels he has too much to lose.”

  Kiara had mixed feelings about being the reason Blaise wasn’t willing to put his health on the line. She wanted him to love himself enough to want to stay safe. “I should see if Max is ready for me. I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

  Rowan eased off the desk and walked toward Kiara. Gripping her shoulders, he knelt enough to look her directly in the eye. “Thanks for talking to me. I just wanted to warn you that it’s going to be hard with Blaise, but I know he’s worth fighting for.”

  “I do too.”

  Rowan hugged her. “Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Blaise was on his way out the door, suitcase in hand, when a ghost from his past appeared. “Marla, what the hell are you doing here?”

  She glanced at the suitcase. “Going somewhere?” Before he could answer, she snuck past him. “I’m sorry, but we have to talk.”

  “I haven’t got a lot of time.” He closed the door. “Whatever it is, make it quick.”

  “Where are you going?” she asked, drawing her bulky black coat tighter around her.

  “My girlfriend’s birthday.” He led her into the living room. “I’m taking her to the Bahamas.”

  Marla perched on the edge of his leather sofa as she crossed her arms. “She must be pretty special. She’s the sports agent, right? The one who’s representing… my so-called husband?”

  Blaise couldn’t pretend to be surprised Marla and Casey were on the outs again, but if she thought he’d be willing to soothe her pain she was delusional. “Ugh, don’t remind me.” His blood pressure rose every time he knew Kiara was meeting with that loser.

  “When he told me he was going to get her to represent him, I never thought she would actually go for it. Why did she?”

  “Her career is important to her. Morin is the current heavyweight champion. She and her boss thought it would be prudent to venture into the boxing arena with someone like him.”

  “Her career is important to her?” Her eyes were downcast, her voice soft, hinting at a side of her he’d never seen before. “More important to her than you?”

  Blaise couldn’t help but notice how wrung-out Marla looked and wondered if the timid approach was part of her strategy. “I’m not talking to you about Kiara. She’s none of your business. Why don’t you just tell me why you’re here so we can both be on our way?”

  She shrugged her coat off, revealing an unmistakable baby bump.

  “You’re pregnant?” he whispered, feeling an unmistakable shift in his equilibrium.

  “Four months. I guess I don’t have to tell you what that means?”

  “Oh, hell no.” Blaise raked a hand through his hair, struggling to draw breath. “I used a condom every goddamn time we were together. No way is that baby mine.”

  “I used condoms with Casey too. They’re not one hundred percent. All I know is I was only with two men around that time, so one of you has to be the daddy.”

  “He’s your husband!” Blaise said, pacing in front of the stone fireplace. “You must have been with him a hell of a lot more than you were with me. Odds are the kid is his.” He prayed that was the case. He wasn’t ready to be a father, especially to the child of a woman he could barely stand.

  “Actually, I retraced my steps, so to speak.” She stared at the floor. “We had sex three times that last weekend we were together. Casey was away, remember?”

  “I don’t remember much about that time,” he muttered, knowing his memory lapse wouldn’t help him. This was real. He was in this mess whether he wanted to be or not.

  “Yeah, well, I do. I keep a journal too.” Her hand trembled as she pulled a flowery book from her oversized designer handbag. “Would you like to read it?”

  “Why the hell would I want to read your journal?” he asked, glaring at the book as if it were a bomb ready to go off.

  “I wrote about what happened around the time I conceived. My doctor tells me that a woman’s fertile period is four to five days before and the day of ovulation. According to my timetable, I was with him five days before and you the day of, so that means there’s a 50/50 chance the baby is yours.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” That was so much more than he wanted to know about the female reproductive system. He’d hoped by the time he was ready to become a daddy, it would happen naturally, without having to consider the mechanics Marla was inundating him with.

  “If you don’t believe me, check it out,” she said, thrusting the book at him.

  “What the hell?” He held his hands up in a defensive posture. “Are you crazy? I don’t want to read that!”

  “Suit yourself.” She put the book back in her bag and retrieved a manila folder. “Here’s a copy of my medical records. It outlines how far along I am and the approximate date of conception. I included the ultrasound photos if you want to see the baby.”

  “I don’t want to see it.” If he did, he’d have to admit he wasn’t likely to wake up from this nightmare.

  “You might want to,” she said, taking an ultrasound picture from the file. “It’s a boy.”

  He took the photo with a trembling hand. He’d never seen an ultrasound and thought when the time came, he would feel elation, not fear and anxiety. “We need a paternity test.”

  “Well, duh.” She rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately I can’t have one until after the baby is born. It’s too risky.” She rubbed her belly. “I don’t care what you or Casey say, I’m not putting my son’s life at risk.”

  “So Morin obviously knows. How is he handling it?” Blaise didn’t think Morin could be dealing with it any worse than he was. It took everything in Blaise not to throw up all over the polished wood floor.

  “He didn’t know the baby’s paternity was up for debate until today.” She bit her lip, her eyes downcast. “I suspected he’d be
en cheating on me all along, but I walked in on him with someone else today.”

  “I’m sorry,” Blaise muttered, though he couldn’t truly care less.

  “I lashed out, told him the baby may not be his. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me,” she whispered.

  Blaise felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. No doubt Kiara was wondering why he was late picking her up. He couldn’t talk to her now, though. If he did, he would fall apart. “So? What happened? How did he react?”

  “He would have hit me if she hadn’t been there.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m used to it, but I couldn’t stand him hurting my baby. He hasn’t laid a hand on me since he found out I was pregnant.” She closed her hands around her stomach. “He knows I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this little peanut.”

  Blaise drew a body-racking breath as his mind raced to find some solution to the mounting problems that were quickly making up the fiber of his life. Just a few short hours ago, he’d been looking forward to a few days of fun in the sun with the love of his life. Now he was faced with the prospect of becoming a father, and he had to figure out how to tell Kiara while praying she wouldn’t walk away.

  “Did he kick you out?” Blaise asked. “Do you need money for a hotel?” He knew Morin was controlling. He gave Marla an allowance, one credit card, and access to a bank account with limited funds. It was his way of keeping her under his thumb, but because Marla seemed content with the arrangement, since it meant she didn’t have to work, Blaise had never questioned it.

  “I can’t stay in a hotel,” she said, paling. “He could track me down.”

  “Use a different name.” Blaise didn’t know how that would work, since she’d need I.D. to check in, but he was getting desperate. He had to get out of there. He needed to see Kiara. He needed room to breathe, to think, to decide what his next course of action would be. “Or maybe you could stay with family or friends?”

  She frowned. “I don’t have friends. My only family is my mother, and she lives in a nursing home in Colorado.”