Crash

by Elana Johnson

  Lucas glanced at Sabrina as she backed out of the driveway and continued down the street. But he kept his eyes glued to Lawrence Paige, wondering what in the world the man was doing here.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Lawrence knew there were some things that couldn’t be fixed. Some things that cut too deeply or had existed for too long to truly ever heal over. But he couldn’t take another moment of Julie’s unhappiness, and he truly felt that if he could just get Lucas to call her, things would start to get better.

  And there was the fact that Lawrence had some apologizing to do.

  “What do you want?” Lucas finally asked, his voice as cold and dark as the winter night in which they stood.

  “I came to apologize,” Lawrence said. His throat tightened, making his words sound scared and choked. He was scared of Lucas, as he reminded Lawrence so much of the bikers he’d been working for against his will.

  Lucas’s eyebrows went up, and Lawrence looked away. That didn’t make any of this any easier.

  “I was a real jerk in high school,” he said. “A tool. Trying to be someone I wasn’t. I don’t know.” He looked at Lucas. “What I know was I made your life harder, and I shouldn’t have. It was wrong of me. And I’m sorry.”

  Lucas’s fingers clenched into fists, but he didn’t move from his position in the driveway. The man had a mask of stone, Lawrence would give him that. He didn’t know if his decades-too-late apology would even matter, but he had to try. For Julie, he had to try.

  “So…that’s it,” Lawrence said, feeling stupid for driving over here. For Julie, he reminded himself. And for himself too. He couldn’t carry around his bad behavior anymore. The guilt really was crushing, and there was something to be said for trying to make things right.

  “I hope you can forgive me one day,” Lawrence said quietly. He looked at Lucas, who gave no indication that such a thing would happen any time soon.

  He sighed, but he’d honestly expected this. “And I came for one more thing.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Not a thing. A person. Julie.” Lawrence cleared his throat. “She’s miserable, man. I personally don’t see what she sees in you. Maybe it’s the muscles. She’s always liked a bearded man. Honestly, it could be the motorcycle.” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder, hoping to lighten the mood. “I won’t tell her another woman just dropped you off in a car, but—”

  “That was my sister.”

  “It was, huh?”

  “And she’s having her baby tomorrow.”

  Lawrence stepped up onto the curb. “So maybe you should call Julie tonight. There’s nothing she likes more than a newborn, and she’s going back to work tomorrow.”

  “She is?” Hope lit Lucas’s face, and Lawrence knew he’d finally broken through the guy’s tough exterior. Just as quickly, he shuttered off his feelings and looked away.

  “Look, you don’t have to like me to like her. Don’t let this little thing with the Devil’s Breath come between you.”

  Lucas looked at him again, his expression storming, his jaw clenching. “Is she okay?” he asked roughly.

  “She’s almost healed,” Lawrence said. “I’m already blaming myself for everything that happened in Williamsburg. You don’t need to as well.” He fisted his hands in his pockets, out of things to say. And for a lawyer, that was something unique.

  He turned and walked back around the car, pausing to look at Lucas again. He didn’t seem bothered by the cold night. Or anything Lawrence had said. The man literally looked like a biker god, and Lawrence could see what his sister saw in a man like him.

  She saw safety, and acceptance. She saw someone who would love and protect her. She saw a future.

  “Anyway,” Lawrence said. “I gave her number to Jordan, and he said you had it. I hope you’ll use it.” With that, Lawrence got in the car, glad he’d left it running so it was still plenty toasty inside.

  He drove away from Lucas, still standing in the driveway. “You did what you could,” he said to himself. And he was learning that he had to be satisfied with doing what he could. Being the best didn’t matter anymore. Showing up for work on time, putting in an honest day’s work. That was what mattered.

  Taking care of the people he loved. That mattered.

  Humbling himself to make amends. That mattered too.

  But he couldn’t make Lucas call Julie. He couldn’t make Lucas forgive him.

  Lucas got to decide what to do for himself.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Julie went into the bathroom on the third floor and locked the deadbolt behind her. This single-serve bathroom reminded her of the one in the abandoned building in Williamsburg, and pure exhaustion moved through her whole body.

  Her shoulders tightened up until they seemed to hitch all the way up to her ears. She rolled her neck, trying to get out some of the tension and release some of her anxiety about being back at work after almost two weeks off.

  Thankfully, she’d had plenty of time to call and text her friends, so she didn’t have to answer any questions. Everyone had welcomed her back with smiles and hugs, and Melinda had even brought in a cake they’d snack on throughout the day as they went on their various breaks. Julie may or may not have already eaten two pieces.

  But cake couldn’t fill the hollow place in her chest. Putting her house on the market hadn’t helped. House-hunting—one of her favorite things to do—had only left her wondering if Lucas would like the hardwood floors in the house closer to downtown, or if he’d prefer the house farther out in the country, where he’d have outbuildings to store his motorcycle.

  It was ridiculous she was still thinking so much about him. And not only that she was thinking about him but thinking about a future with him. They weren’t even speaking, for crying out loud.

  Julie looked at herself in the mirror. To her eyes, she looked exhausted. Sure, she’d put on makeup and pulled her hair up into her signature top ponytail. Her scrubs were pink today, and as soon as she put a smile on her face, she transformed from the woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders to the perky, petite nurse, ready to administer meds.

  She hated that she had to pretend to be who she’d once been. But the fact was, that single day in Williamsburg had changed her.

  “Maybe that’s why Lucas doesn’t want to be with you anymore,” she whispered to her reflection. But that made no sense. He didn’t even know she’d changed, because they hadn’t spoken since walking down those halls together. They’d been on the same page then.

  Why couldn’t they be now?

  She didn’t know how to make the first move.

  “Maybe he doesn’t either,” she said, but her pulse rioted against her when she thought about taking out her new phone and calling him. She didn’t even have her phone with her right now, or she might have done it.

  Fine, she wouldn’t have done it.

  Feeling very much like the coward she was, Julie left the bathroom. She felt like her encounter with the Breathers had taken every ounce of bravery she’d ever had, and she wondered if she’d ever get it back.

  She desperately wanted it back.

  As she approached the nurse’s station, her head down and her thoughts tangled in her mind, she became aware of just how quiet it was. The third floor was a busy place, with people in and out all the time, because they weren’t an intensive care unit. Visiting hours were literally all day long, and if there weren’t family and friends coming to see their loved ones, the nurses knew how to gossip, laugh, and share their lives with each other.

  But no one was talking.

  She looked up, and it was as if God had switched on a vacuum, sucking the oxygen right out of the air.

  “She’s right there,” Melinda said, hanging up the phone receiver she had at her ear. Her words warped with the lack of air and the sudden whoosh of white noise rushing through Julie’s ears.

  Lucas stood at the counter, wearing a pair of dark, delicious jeans, a gray T-shirt, and his black
leather jacket. His eyes met hers, and the world narrowed to just the two of them.

  He swallowed, the motion slow as it moved through his throat, and Julie realized he was just as nervous as she was.

  Melinda said something else, but Julie couldn’t hear what.

  Lucas stood there, devouring her with his eyes, his mouth turned down in that sexy way he had of saying so much without uttering a word.

  Melinda arrived at her side, and Julie blinked at her friend, her voice entering her ears. “You two can have the break room for a few minutes, okay?” She nodded and smiled, smiled and nodded, like this was just a fabulous reunion.

  Julie stumbled as Melinda nudged her to get her to move. She found her balance and went with Melinda around the counter. Everyone in the near vicinity stared, but honestly, Julie could only feel the weight of Lucas’s gaze.

  He cleared his throat and followed her, squeezing past Melinda and Julie as he entered the small break room.

  “All right, probably only ten minutes or so,” Melinda said cheerily, and she backed out of the room.

  “Melinda—” Julie started, but the door clicked closed, sealing her in the small room with Lucas. The wall to her left held lockers, and the wall on the right had a table pushed against it, with a few chairs where nurses sometimes sat down to have a can of Coke or a snack.

  She pressed her back into the door as Lucas turned toward her. They simply watched each other for a moment, and Julie watched his chest expand as he breathed.

  “I was going to call you,” she said at the same time he said, “Sorry to drop by.”

  She exhaled as her brain caught up to what he’d said. A smile touched his mouth, and Julie watched his shyness flow across his face.

  Her heart skipped over a couple of beats, and she took a step toward him.

  “I just….” He paused and reached up to run his hands through his hair. “I’m miserable without you.” He threw his arms out to his sides and let them drop back into position. “There. There it is. I’m miserable without you. I don’t know if we’re totally broken or not, or how you feel, but I really want to see if we can make a go of this.”

  A smile moved across her face, and she dropped her chin to her chest as warmth filled her whole body. “I don’t think we’re totally broken,” she said.

  “I didn’t call,” he said. “I was in the hospital for about five days, and then I just…I don’t know.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “I knew where you were.” She looked at him, the electricity between them pure chemistry. “I could’ve come to see you. I didn’t.”

  “Why didn’t you?” he asked.

  “I was scared,” she whispered.

  He nodded as if he understood completely. Maybe he did.

  “I think we can try again,” she said, only a few feet between them now. The urge to step into his arms and breathe in the masculine scent of his leather, his cologne, and the very essence that make Lucas Miner who he was, almost overwhelmed her.

  “Good,” he said, relief in the single syllable. “Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  Tears filled Julie’s eyes, and she took those last couple of steps. Lucas received her into his arms, and everything in the world aligned.

  “Love?” she whispered.

  “I might be crazy,” he said, his mouth right by her ear. “But I don’t know what else to call it. I think about you all the time. When something happens, I want to tell you. Everything is better now that you’re right here.” He touched his lips to her neck, and Julie pressed right into the touch.

  She inched back and tilted her head to look up at him. “I really do want to know everything about you.”

  He gave her a smile though a flicker of fear moved through his expression. “Okay.”

  “Am I still a member of your club?”

  “Not if you don’t want to be.”

  “Can I be?”

  “I think you’d have to pledge like a normal patched member.” He grinned down at her. “But it’s up to you.”

  Julie smiled at him, already tipping up onto her toes. “I think I’d like to just ride on the back of your bike with you.”

  “Oh, I’d like that too, sweetheart.” He closed the distance between them, his lips just as electric and just as delicious as they’d always been.

  Behind her, a cheer went up, and Julie knew her friends had crowded around the window in the top half of the door. Lucas chuckled, trying to break the kiss, but Julie cradled his face in both of her hands and kissed him again.

  Let them watch, she thought. She was kissing the man she was falling in love with. The man she wanted to know everything about. The man she hoped to build a future with.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lucas pulled up to his sister’s house, utterly confined by Karly’s car. He hated driving a car with everything inside him, though he was grateful she and Mav had leant it to him. For now, he couldn’t hold himself up on a motorcycle, so his sexy rides with Julie were on hold.

  He still felt uncertain about a lot of things in his life, including his job. He wasn’t ready to go back yet, he knew that. He hoped the job would still be there for him when he was physically able to return. His boss had assured him it would be, but Lucas felt on the outside of things, and he didn’t like it.

  He went up the steps and knocked, opening the door a moment later. “Just me, Bri,” he said, finding her laying on the couch, her newborn baby sleeping on her chest. Bri opened her eyes sleepily, and Lucas gave her a small smile. “Can I take her?”

  Bri nodded, and Lucas reached right over the top of the couch and picked up the tiny infant. Margaret grunted as he tucked her into his arms, her perfectly pink face scrunching up for a moment. Her eyes didn’t open, and she settled right back to her calm, sleepy state as Lucas gazed down at her.

  “She’s just amazing, isn’t she?” Lucas asked. He wondered if his father had ever felt fond of him. Just as quickly as the thought came, it dissipated. He was learning not to dwell on the things that didn’t make him happy.

  “Mom’s almost here,” Bri said, sighing as she sat up and put her feet over the side of the couch.

  “All right.” Lucas had called her the night he went home from the hospital. His mother had come over in the mornings before her shift at the auto dealership, where she filed paperwork and called people when their license plates came in. She could make coffee, and she filled the few hours after Jordan left for work but before anyone came by to bring him lunch.

  Lucas was fine with Smoky for company, but he found he liked his mother doting on him too. She’d apologized to him too, and Lucas had appreciated all the good things in his life. He’d spent hours researching how to apply for a charter with Bikers for Christ, and Mav hadn’t changed his mind about Lucas taking the Sentinels in a more religious direction.

  The tension around the club had gone down considerably, and Mav’s eagles and moles hadn’t heard a word about the Breathers since the night Lucas and Julie had blown everything wide open in Williamsburg.

  “Hello.” Lucas’s mother stepped through the door, a wide smile on her face. “Aw, look at you with that baby.”

  Lucas grinned back at his mother. “Hey, Ma.” He stood up and passed the infant to her. “She’s amazing.”

  “You need one of these, don’t you?”

  “Oh, boy,” Lucas said, chuckling. He hadn’t introduced Julie to anyone in his family yet. In fact, he hadn’t even told anyone about Julie yet. His pulse bounced around inside his chest, and he cut a glance at Sabrina.

  “There’s a girl at the dealership,” his mother said. “She just started in the service department, and she’d be perfect for you.”

  “Yeah?” Lucas asked, as if he were really interested.

  “Yeah,” his mom said. “And she’s blonde. I know you—”

  “Mom, I’m seeing someone,” Lucas said, unable to keep the smile off his face.

  The silence that descended in the room
was almost comical. He rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard to believe, is it?”

  “No,” Sabrina said. “Of course not.” She leaned forward on the couch, keen interest in her eyes. “Who is she?”

  “A nurse at the hospital,” he said. “We met back in November, but we didn’t really start dating until close to Christmas. And then it’s been…slow.” He thought about what he’d said to her at the hospital a few days ago.

  I think I’m falling in love with you.

  That wasn’t slow. Julie had been pleased, Lucas knew that. He’d seen her every day since, as she was working the afternoon shift at the hospital, and she had her lunchtime free, as well as a car to come pick him up or bring him something.

  “Who is she?” Sabrina asked again. “I want a name, Lucas.” She grinned at him, and Lucas shook his head.

  “Julie Paige,” he said, reaching up to the back of his head and scratching his hair there.

  “You like her,” Sabrina teased.

  “Yeah, was that not obvious by me saying I was dating her?” He rolled his eyes again. “I mean, I haven’t been out with anyone seriously in years.”

  Sabrina nodded, her expression a bit too sympathetic for Lucas. He didn’t need pity. “I want to meet her.”

  “I think we can do that,” Lucas said. “When I’m feeling better.”

  “Still in a lot of pain?” his mom asked.

  “Yeah, any time I move,” he said. “It’s tolerable, but I’m not ready to go back to work or anything.”

  “You will,” she said. “Soon enough.”

  Lucas wanted to believe her, so he just nodded. He was still working on believing his mother, because it had taken her almost two decades to get out of the abusive relationship with Lucas’s dad.

  He was working on not blaming his mother, but he sometimes still slipped back into that.

  “Dinner’s here,” Noah said as he came in through the garage entrance. He possessed such a good aura, and Lucas looked around at his family. For so long, he hadn’t had a great relationship with his blood relatives, but he really liked the energy here.