The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

by Jennifer Hoopes

  He jigged Tyler, quieting him for a moment as he dug through the diaper bag. He found the binky attached to a binky clip with cowboy boots on it. No doubt something Shelby or Emily picked out. As soon as he fit it to Tyler’s mouth, the little boy sucked at it furiously and then closed his eyes.

  Rocking back and forth, Dan circled the couch, only to find Sofie sound asleep. Her features, lined with exhaustion, slowly slid into peacefulness, easing out the frown lines, the concern evident on her face. He stooped and brushed a strand of her hair off to the side. She smiled and snuggled farther into the couch. A different couch than the one she’d given birth on less than a week ago. He glanced around and found a freshly folded quilt sitting on the stool at his island. Shifting Tyler to one arm, he snatched it up and managed to get most of Sofie snug underneath of it.

  “Looks like it’s just you and me, little man.”

  Dan walked to the rocking chair and settled himself, careful not to move Tyler any more than necessary. His boot heel kept them moving as Dan traced the fine porcelain skin, little veins apparent under his cheeks. His blond eyelashes were barely visible on top of the smooth skin. Shelby was right. He did have Sofie’s eyes. He hoped maybe their color, too.

  He also looked for the differences—what Tyler might share with his biological father. Dan knew enough about families to realize that just because a man helped create life didn’t mean he earned the title of Dad. Sofie had told him her ex had no rights, and he believed her. He had no doubt she had ensured there was no loophole to allow that scum back in her life. But that wouldn’t stop her from seeing him in her son.

  Allowing the little bit of jealousy to flare then peter out, Dan reminded himself that Sofie was here. She’d come to him. She’d fallen asleep and entrusted him with the care of her most precious treasure. Smiling down at her son, he let a new emotion—one of hope and joy—spread through his body.

  They still had hurdles to overcome, but this seemed like the start of something big. He’d longed for a family his whole life, and now one was finally within his grasp. He just needed to show Sofie that he was the one for her, that they could be something amazing.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sofie’s eyes fluttered before finally opening. The cabin, the nap, the conversation flew through her mind. She peeked over the couch. Dan’s back was to her as he rocked from foot to foot, crooning to the bundle in his arms. The strains of a Christmas melody reached her, and it was a one-two punch to her heart. This man had watched over them, supported her, and was singing to her child.

  Daylight lit the room and panic flowed through her limbs, weighting her farther down in the couch. She’d slept all night, completely forgot about her son and his needs. What if Dan hadn’t been here? What if she’d just fallen asleep on her own? What would have happened to her son?

  I fell sleep because Dan was here. The truth hit Sofie upside the head, and she started to shake.

  She was grateful for his help, but she’d run to Dan at the first sign of hardship. She gripped the sofa and took a deep breath. Dan was leaving. She was staying. She had two perfectly good feet to stand on.

  He must have felt her gaze and turned around, beaming. “Feel better?”

  “Yes. Thank you. You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long.”

  His eyes softened, and her heart added a pitter to the patter that was often the cadence when he was around. “You needed some rest. I don’t know how you’ve managed as you have, being up so often feeding and changing and rocking. I think I have a new definition of ‘rock star.’”

  His words and sincerity warmed a part of her that begged to let him continue lending support, but she knew where this story ended and how. Dan might not be a jerk like her ex, but what if he decided she was too much, that a baby was too much? What if she allowed herself to disappear into a relationship again? The risk was too great now. She had to protect Tyler.

  “Nothing special about me. I’m just like every other single mom out there.”

  He didn’t miss her emphasis, and a frown formed in the dark slashes of eyebrows. A gurgle brought his gaze back down to the bundle in his arms. “You don’t have to be.”

  This was exactly as she feared. Even worse, because a small part of her wanted it more than anything she could recall in her life, other than Tyler.

  She eased up to a sitting position, and when the pain wasn’t as excruciating as it had been, she pushed up and made her way over to Dan. He handed her son over but didn’t release him once he was settled in her arms. She met his gaze and forced herself not to melt in the chocolate depths, not to whisper “yes” like her heart begged her to.

  “Actually, I do. I need to do this on my own. I thought you understood that.”

  “And I thought we were building something here. When you came back last night. When you trusted me with Tyler.”

  She had to look away at the pain in his eyes. “That wasn’t intentional,” she said, so quietly it was almost a whisper.

  He stepped back. “Which part? The coming back or the trust?”

  She sighed. “I am beyond grateful for your help and support these past days with Tyler, but we both know it’s temporary. You’re leaving, and I need to know how to do this on my own.”

  He flinched as if slapped. “I wasn’t planning on leaving you.”

  As much as she wanted to, she wasn’t sure she could believe him. He’d planned on leaving the one place he’d called home, where people loved him. What was to say he wouldn’t eventually want to leave her? They weren’t in a relationship yet, and she’d just had a baby. She didn’t even have the energy to shower, let alone go on a date. Who wouldn’t get tired of that? “Even if I will never be able to put you first?”

  She knew it was a cruel statement. He’d shared the confession openly and honestly, and she was throwing it back in his face like a pie. It was purely in self-defense, and she hated herself for it. But she wasn’t lying. Tyler was her world. He was number one, and even if she and Dan stood a chance, that focus would never change. And Dan deserved to be first. He was that good of a man. She couldn’t be what he needed. She wouldn’t be any better than the town that took him for granted. In all honesty, she probably wasn’t any better than them now. She’d run to him last night because she knew he would catch her.

  She wasn’t sure how she’d expected him to react, but all he said was, “I’ll let you be. I have some work to do.” Then he snatched his hat off the hook by the door, shoved his arms into his duster, and left without another word.

  Sofie stared at the wood, tracing the grain over and over until Tyler’s wail broke her from her misery. She hurried into the kitchen and found all the bottles washed and on the drying rack. A sob broke through, and her free hand gripped the edge of the counter. Another wail, and Sofie prepared the bottle and set to appeasing her little man, all while wishing things could be different. That she could be different.

  …

  Dan tightened the flank cinch and patted Shady on the rump. He’d lied. He didn’t have anything to do. He’d taken some of the mountain of time he’d built up at Sky Lake, so he could be available to Sofie and Tyler. To help and support her. Instead, she was backing away worse than an unbroken wild mustang.

  Her words echoed in his mind, and if he were truthful, his heart. He knew Sofie wanted to prove she could do it on her own, but was accepting help such a bad thing? They could be great together. A team. He didn’t need to come first for her—that would always be Tyler. He just wanted to be included in their life.

  He swung up onto Shady’s back and snorted, echoing the equine under him. Sofie was still stuck in her past, just as he was. He needed to show her that they could be a unit. A family. That accepting his help and support didn’t mean she wasn’t strong enough to do it on her own. There was strength in accepting help. He just had to figure out how to show Sofie that.

  An hour later, Shady
suitably worn out, Dan knew exactly what to do. But first, he needed a little advice of the feminine persuasion.

  “You want to do what?”

  Peyton narrowed her gaze, and Dan swiped his boot heel across the carpet. The idea had seemed perfect, but the way Peyton stared at him made him think he’d miscalculated.

  “You don’t think it will work?”

  Peyton slumped into her office chair and drummed her fingers on her blotter. “No, I think it’s incredibly sweet and romantic in a non-romantic way, but I guess I never pictured you coming up with something like that. I mean, you and Ryder are made from the same cloth, and Lord knows I wouldn’t get him within ten feet of a place like that.”

  “So you’ll help?”

  Peyton grinned. “Of course I will. If for no other reason than to be present when you start to hyperventilate.”

  …

  Sofie adjusted her hold on the infant carrier and fumbled for the keys attached to the diaper bag. Frustration filtered through her veins and left her weak and dejected. A quick glimpse of Tyler’s angelic face and she straightened, determined to not let the worries win. She would get this. New mothers had a learning curve, and certainly new single mothers had an even bigger one.

  Sliding the key into the lock, she hesitated and glanced at the driveway. No truck. Dan must be somewhere on the ranch. The disappointment of knowing he wasn’t on the other side of the door weighted her limbs, but again, she dismissed the emotions. It was probably better they kept their distance. She would be moving out soon, and he would be leaving. What little time they had left might be better spent as friends. At least she hoped they could be. She owed him so much, even if she couldn’t take all he offered.

  Stepping into the cabin, she noticed a fire crackling in the living room. Dan would never be that irresponsible. Was he home? Setting her bag down, she moved to put the infant seat on the couch and unbuckled Tyler. His warm body smelled of the lavender lotion she’d been using, and she snuggled into the crook of his neck and kissed him. “Love you, little man.”

  A creak overhead had her spinning around. She noticed there was a note on the banister.

  Surprise upstairs.

  Sofie stood frozen. Dan was upstairs, and whatever he’d planned, he’d gone to great lengths to accomplish it, including hiding his truck. Part of her wanted to hurry up and see what the wonderful man had done, and part of her stood rooted to the spot, knowing that it would make it that much harder to toe the friend-line she knew they needed to walk.

  “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” began playing softly, and that sealed the deal. She went to the stairs, carefully taking them one at a time, Tyler still sleeping peacefully in her arms. As she came up on the landing, her breath caught. The door at the end of the hallway was closed but affixed to the center was a hand-painted cowboy hat with Tyler’s name on it. Her fingers dug into the bannister, even as her heart screamed for her to turn around and flee. She wasn’t ready for this.

  “Dan?” she called out softly, both because she didn’t want to wake the baby, and because she honestly didn’t want him to hear her. If he didn’t answer, she could hurry back downstairs and not face what she feared was on the other side of the door.

  “In here.” He answered equally as softly.

  “Well, Sofie, you want to control your life. It stands before you. You’ve made your decision, now it’s time to put your actions where your words are. No matter what’s behind that door, you know where your future is.” Her whispered pep talk did little to control the roller-coaster inside her stomach.

  Marching down the hall, she gripped the doorknob and took a deep breath, tracing the outline of her son’s name on the beautiful piece of wood in front of her. Pushing the door open, she gasped.

  Before her was a complete nursery. Crib, rocker, dresser, curtains, stuffed animals. A quick glance to the left showed the open closet full of clothing that looked to cover every season and age up to a year. A rug sat in the middle of the floor, its edges littered with toys, from puzzles to blocks to noisy things she was sure would need to lose their batteries long before Tyler might tire of them.

  She stepped farther inside the room and saw the stroller and swing that hid behind the door.

  “What did you do?”

  Dan shifted from side to side, his gaze searching her face over and over. “Do you like it?”

  Sofie opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

  “I wanted to show you how much I care, and that I can help you with this. With your life. I’m committed to this with you. I’d hoped to ease some of the stress sitting on your shoulders. You don’t have to do it all on your own.”

  And just like that, the awe and sweetness of the gesture turned sour. She realized suddenly that Dan was always going to be doing this. Trying to take care of her and make things better. It didn’t matter that she’d told him she needed to do it on her own. It was like they were on two different wavelengths.

  She took a step back and hurt flashed in his eyes as the color drained from his face. Her lungs grew tight, and she struggled to force air into them.

  “You haven’t listened to anything, have you?”

  “I was listening, Sofie. I heard the stress in your voice and how overwhelmed you were the other day. I’m trying to show you how…”

  “Stop. You’re trying to control me. Control the situation to your advantage. I know you don’t mean to, but you are. Tyler’s mine. His things, clothes, crib, anything to do with him—that’s my responsibility. Not yours.”

  “I’m not trying to control you.”

  “Aren’t you? So you don’t want something from me? From the town? You know, the world won’t end if you stop trying to fix everyone’s problems.”

  Dan widened his stance, and although Sofie knew he would never hurt her, despite all the anger directed at him right now, she also knew his mood had changed. The air crackled with hurt and disappointment.

  “I thought you knew me better than that. All I’ve wanted to do is make things easier on you, give you support.”

  He brushed by her, careful not to touch even her coat, which she’d forgotten to remove.

  She turned and followed his progress, her heart stretching and cracking with pain and lost dreams and a whole lot of anger. When he stopped at the top of the steps, she caught a breath.

  He spoke to the floor. “I’ll move out until you can find a place. Just leave word with Emily, and she can get the information to me.”

  And with that, his boot heels echoed on the wood, followed a few moments later by the click of the door. Everything controlled, reined in, despite Sofie knowing he wanted to rant and rail.

  She looked back at his gifts. At the thing that tipped the scale, even from being friends. How could he not know this would infuriate her? That it would send her running, even if she weren’t already planning on doing so.

  I thought you knew me better than that.

  She sobbed. Apparently that statement went both ways.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Dan? Dan!”

  His strides increased. The last person—well, other than Sofie—he wanted to see right now was know-it-all Peyton.

  Her speed increased, and it would be fruitless to break into a run. While Peyton wouldn’t catch him, she would put up one hell of fight, and then the whole of Sky Lake would know what had happened.

  He stopped, crossed his arms, and waited for the inevitable.

  “Hey, what’s your problem?” Peyton came around and met his gaze with one of fury, but as soon as her green eyes met his, her whole face fell.

  “It didn’t work.”

  “More like it was an epic failure of volcanic proportions.”

  “Seriously?” Peyton crossed her arms. “Was it the color, the swing, the name plate?”

  “It was all of it.”

 
Dan pushed past his friend, the pity in her expression more than he could handle right now. She grabbed hold. He could have broken away, but it wouldn’t do any good.

  “Come on.”

  “I’d rather be alone right now.”

  “I’m sure you would. All cowboys like to brood; it adds to their mystique and sensuality. But right now you need to sit, eat, and talk. I’ve known you for a long time, Dan Rigby, and this is destroying you at the core.”

  She was right. And she did know him as well as almost anyone in his life. In fact, there was a time he’d wanted her to know all of him, but Ryder had always been the one for her, and after some time away from the fantasy, he’d realized being with her was an illusion he’d woven rather than a reality that he’d wanted. He loved her, but he was never in love with her.

  He allowed Peyton to tug him toward the lodge. They made a detour to the kitchens, where Laney evil-eyed Peyton as she snagged a plate of gingerbread men and a carafe of milk. Dan wanted to ask her to grab the whisky bottle, too, but that would probably reveal too much.

  Once they were settled inside her office, door firmly shut, Peyton crossed her arms. “Spill.”

  “The milk?” All that earned him was a narrowed gaze and a pair of pursed lips.

  “Seriously, Peyton, what’s there to spill? I offered myself, she said no. Story of my life.”

  Peyton softened and leaned forward. “That’s not fair.”

  “Isn’t it?” Dan got up and paced the small office. “Dependable Dan. Always good for the rescue, but never for the long haul. My parents didn’t want me. The Marks’s loved me, but Ryder is theirs, and I’m not. Sky Lake will never be mine. You were always someone else’s. And now, Sofie.”

  “I’ve never pegged you for the pity party type.”

  Dan swung his head around so fast it hurt. “Pity party? These are facts, Peyton. They are what they are, and I don’t like it.”

  “Then do something about it.”