KIRKLAND: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security)

by Glenna Sinclair

  But when I thought about actually walking out the door, I just couldn’t make myself do it.

  “Fuck me!” I whispered under my breath, as I grabbed the television remote and settled back against the pillows, wondering if they showed reruns of Baywatch this early in the evening.

  Chapter 22

  Mabel

  I sank down in the hot water and told myself I wasn’t being stupid. That I hadn’t just ruined the most important night of my life.

  I ran my fingers through my hair, working the water through it. Then I sat up and grabbed the sample bottle of shampoo. I had my own shampoo, but I was one of those people who couldn’t stand to let a free sample go unused. It smelled sweet, like cotton candy. I worked it into a nice lather, wondering what was going through Kirkland’s mind right now. I could hear the television, so I knew he’d turned it on. I wondered if he was annoyed with me.

  I would be.

  I groaned as I sank into the water again. What was I going to do when I went back out there? We hadn’t come here to watch television and pretend that we were enjoying ourselves. This was my idea, and I thought I could handle it. Look at me, the CEO of Cumming’s Treasure and I couldn’t even let a man who made it pretty clear that he was ready to sleep with me take me to bed.

  I was pathetic.

  I kicked the plug, stubbing my toe. It was the least I deserved. And then I stood and rinsed off under cold water, letting it run over my skin, shocking my system. Maybe it would help. Maybe a little cold water would shock me into remembering that I wanted this. I wanted to be close to Kirkland. I wanted to experience sex and learn at the hands of an experienced man. But, mostly, I just wanted to be with Kirkland.

  As I stood in front of the sink, rubbing sweet-smelling lotion into my skin, I found myself wondering if other women had ever found themselves in this sort of situation. Did Kate feel nervous the first time she was with Donovan? Did Ricki worry what David would think the first time he saw her naked? What about Joss? Was it always perfect between her and Carrington?

  I was scared. I knew that. I had no way of knowing what it would be like. My mom wasn’t the kind of person who sat me down and explained the ins and outs—forgive the pun—of sex. She completely ignored the subject, choosing to tell me that I would discover all I needed to know when I got married. Well, I didn’t want to learn that way. I wanted…I didn’t really know what I wanted.

  And I’d heard stories, seen things on my own website that made me wonder if maybe sex wasn’t all it’d been cracked up to be. The romance novels I hid under my pillow and read when I was a kid, they couldn’t all be wrong, could they? It had to be good, or else people wouldn’t keep doing it.

  Ricki said it was beautiful. That when you found the right partner, it was the most incredible thing you could ever experience. But even she couldn’t explain the details, the things I really needed to know. And she wouldn’t talk about her first time.

  It was moments like this when I wished I had a sister, a loving aunt, someone who could tell me the truth.

  I stood there, staring at my naked body. It wasn’t a bad body. It was this body that had gotten Kirkland so worked up in the car the other night. And that, the way he touched me…if it could be like that…

  It was time to be a big girl.

  Instead of pulling on the t-shirt and panties I’d brought into the bathroom with me, I simply wrapped myself in the thick towel provided by the hotel. I rested my hand on the doorknob for a long time, but I opened it. His expression was guarded, as he watched me come toward him. He sat up, but he didn’t make any attempt to approach me. Maybe he was afraid I’d run away.

  I stopped a few feet from the bed and—my heart pounding ridiculously hard in my chest—I dropped the towel.

  Chapter 23

  Kirkland

  How was I supposed to go slow when…shit!

  I’d resigned myself to the idea that we’d spend the night watching old movies and eating bad pizza. Instead, she throws a wrench in everything, coming out here and…

  And I was just sitting on the bed. What the hell was wrong with me?

  I went to her, pushed her back against the wall, and kissed her with all the pent up frustration that’d been building inside me since she made her proposal. She moaned against my lips, the moan vibrating through me, waking every nerve that wasn’t already standing on end, screaming for her touch, her taste, her body. I slid my hands over her breasts, loving the feel of them against my palms, my mouth slipping over her chin to her throat. She moaned again, her hands moving over my head, giving me the slightest push downward. She didn’t even know what she was doing, but her instincts were right on the money.

  I took my time, teasing her nipples, making her breathe so hard that her chest was heaving against my mouth. Then slowly, so slowly, moving down. She whispered my name as I teased her belly button ring with my tongue before moving even further down.

  “No,” she moaned, but, like before, she didn’t stop me.

  I pushed her thighs apart, kissing the inside of her leg, moving down to the back of her knee, then working back up before working on the other side. She pressed her hands against the wall, holding herself up as her knees grew weak. I watched her, watched the pleasure take over the fear in her eyes, dancing there as she watched me almost wearily, almost desperately.

  She didn’t know what to expect, but she knew her body liked what I’d done thus far.

  When was the last time I’d gotten on my knees for a woman? When was the last time I’d wanted to get on my knees for a woman? I’d never cared much about whether the woman I was with was getting what she needed from me. I usually knew when a woman was approaching orgasm, and I’d slow down if it seemed necessary, but that was about as far as I went into putting a woman’s pleasure before my own. But Mabel…she was different. As much as I wanted to lay with her, I wanted to hear her cry out in pleasure more.

  I slid my thumbs along the outer edge of her cunt, tugging her lips open. She ran her hand over the back of mine, pressing my thumb harder against her. But then I slipped my thumb up over her clit and her knees gave way. I caught her, the angle odd, but I managed to get us both on our feet. I picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her back against the pillows. She tugged at my arm, forcing me to lie with her.

  We kissed, long, slow kisses.

  “Is it stupid that I’m scared?” she asked softly.

  “No. Is it crazy that I want to just lie here next to you for a little while?”

  “No.”

  She drew me close to her, curling her body into mine. We kissed and my hand slipped over her back. The curve of her hips was so lovely that I couldn’t stop running my hand over it, couldn’t stop touching her. She broke our kisses, moving her lips over my throat. She tried to nibble at my collarbone, but…

  “Not so hard, baby.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, just…you don’t have to draw blood.”

  She laughed. “Okay. I’ll drop the vampire act, then.”

  That little joke seemed to break what little tension was left between us. I stared into her face because I couldn’t get enough of her, couldn’t look at her long enough, couldn’t memorize her face well enough.

  I pressed my hand between her thighs and touched her, running my finger over the tender lips hidden there. She closed her eyes and arched her hips.

  “That’s it, baby,” I whispered. “Let me make you feel good.”

  I slid my finger inside of her, and she moved her hips again, her eyes coming back to mine, but they were clouded with need. She kissed my neck again, and it was better than anything I’d felt in a long time. All of this was better than anything I’d ever known.

  All the hesitation, all the fear…she was more ready then she knew. Her body opened to me, her clit hard as a pea, her fluids lubricating everything. I wanted to taste her, but my own need was growing so quickly that I wasn’t sure I could hold on that long. I wanted her. And she wanted
me.

  Her eyes were closed again, her hips moving in a nice rhythm against my hand. I peppered her chest, her throat, with kisses before sliding my tongue over the outer ridge of her ear.

  “Are you ready?”

  She squeezed her thighs together, and I knew she was still nervous. But when I pulled my hand away, she moaned in quiet protest.

  I undid my pants, sliding over her as I freed myself. She stared up at me, her hand on my arm as she waited for me to touch her again. I pressed the head of my cock against her slick cunt, watching her closely for the first sign of discomfort. She opened her legs, relaxing them as I pressed myself against her. Her eyes closed again as my head moved inside of her, her hips coming up just slightly to help.

  I was encouraged by her movement. I let go of my shaft, as I slid slowly inside of her, stretching her tight, delicious cunt. She bent her knees, raising her hips, and then she gasped.

  “Oh, God!” she whispered.

  I tried to lay still, tried not to add to her discomfort. But then her hands came around my waist, her hips moving up against me again. I lost it then, lost all sense of control. I pressed my cock as deep inside of her as I could manage, a groan slipping from my own lips as I began to move. I slid into a lovely rhythm, as I tugged her hips up against me and tried to encourage her to move against me.

  We rocked for a long few minutes, our bodies both engulfed in pleasure. I couldn’t believe how good it felt, how badly I wanted it to continue for hours and hours. She arched her back, her hips pressed so hard against me that I wanted to scream. Damn, it was the most perfect moment of my life. I couldn’t hold onto it much longer. I tried to think of something else, but the dance she was doing against me, the expression on that beautiful face, the sounds coming from between her lips…I couldn’t.

  I lost control. I’d never lost control.

  She grabbed my ass, pulled me hard against her, and we just spiraled together, crashing at almost the same instant. I could feel her thighs quiver, could feel her cunt muscles milking my cock as stream after stream of cum burst through me.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  It didn’t get any better than that.

  Chapter 24

  Mabel

  He was playing with my fingers, moving them this way and that, sliding his own through them, then pressing his palm against mine. I watched, so relaxed that I probably couldn’t have gotten up and walked across the room even if I had to.

  “Is it always like that?”

  “No.”

  He leaned close and kissed me, a soft kiss turning into something deeper with just a simple touch. I slid close to him, drawing him close with a hand on the side of his face. I couldn’t get enough of his kisses. I don’t know what it was that he did, but even my toes tingled when he kissed me. I moved close to him and slid my hand over his chest. My fingers moved lower, brushing against the hair that marked the top edge of his pubic area. I was afraid to look at him, afraid seeing him would somehow take away the magic of this whole night. I’d seen so many cocks in the process of running my business. I didn’t want to be disappointed in the reality. But I wanted to touch him.

  I slid my fingers deeper into his hair, and he groaned, reaching to push my hand further down. I panicked a little, pulling my hand away.

  “It’s okay,” he said against my lips. “You can touch me.”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  I studied his handsome face—those eyes were impossibly beautiful!—as I tried again, sliding my hand down the length of his belly until I was touching him, slipping my hand over the length of him. He seemed impossibly long—was that just a virgin thing?—and thick, as I wrapped my hand around him. I began to stroke him, and he groaned, but it wasn’t a good kind of groan.

  “Not so hard.”

  “Sorry.”

  I guess I could hurt him.

  I started to pull my hand away, but he wrapped his fist around mine and showed me what to do. It really was pretty simple, a nice, slow movement. I could feel him growing longer and stiffer in my hand, his need coming back the longer I touched him. I kissed his neck, drawing a tiny piece of skin between my teeth, nibbling lighter this time. He groaned again, but it wasn’t a bad groan this time.

  I was getting the hang of this!

  He pulled me close to him and touched my hip, his hand sliding down toward my cunt. I loved it when he touched me there; I loved the way it felt when he brushed his finger against my clit. I wanted him to do it again and again; I wanted to feel him inside of me again. His finger, his cock, it all felt so good. How could people not enjoy this? How could this be anything but heavenly?

  “I want to make you feel good,” I whispered against his jaw. “Teach me how to make you feel good.”

  “Oh, baby,” he whispered, “you already do.”

  I smiled, but I didn’t want platitudes. I really wanted to give him just a fraction of what he’d already done for me. I pushed him onto his back and kissed his throat, his chest, running my tongue along the outside of the heart tattoo that adorned his chest. And then I was sliding further down.

  “No, Mabel,” he said, his voice rough. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to.”

  I kissed his lower belly, slipped my tongue around the rim of his navel. I’d picked up a few things from my day job. And then…boy, he was more than I’d expected. And the saltiness…but I took him into my mouth and let him slide almost all the way to the back. He grunted, and then he buried his fingers in my hair.

  “Watch your teeth,” he mumbled.

  I took him almost to the back of my throat again, wondering what the term deep throat meant. I knew all these terms, but I had little idea of what they really meant. He sat up a little, watching me. I felt like I really knew what I was doing.

  And then he cried out, jerking back from me.

  “What?”

  “Teeth, babe.”

  “Oh, God! Did I hurt you?’

  He was holding the underside of his shaft even as he forced a smile. “It’s okay.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I flung myself against the pillows, tugging the sheet up over my nakedness. I felt like a fool. I was a grown woman and I couldn’t even do the simplest of things for my lover.

  “Don’t give up,” he said, pulling me against his chest. “I bet even the women in your movies had their share of difficulties when they first started. I saw a movie once where a woman got her lover’s cock caught in his zipper.”

  I laughed. “Is that true?”

  “Yeah, that’s true.”

  He kissed my neck. “It takes time, just like anything else.”

  “But you’ve been with all these women who know how to make you happy. I just…I don’t want you to go away disappointed.”

  He groaned deep in his throat. “That’s not going to happen, baby.”

  I rolled toward him. “Really?”

  “You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever been with.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Don’t.”

  I touched his tattoo again. “What about these women? What do they mean to you that you tattooed their initials to your chest?”

  “What makes you think they’re women?”

  “Who else would they be?”

  He kissed my neck, as he pulled the sheet over him, too, tugging my back against his chest so that my hips rested against his. His cock nestled against my ass, still hard and throbbing a little against me.

  “One is my mother’s initials. I had them put there to remember that she was the one who left me, not the other way around.”

  “She made a mistake.”

  “Maybe.”

  “I bet she regrets it, too.”

  “I doubt it.” He sighed against my head. “The other is a girl I knew in high school.”

  “Your high school sweetheart?”

  “Not exactly.” He was
quiet for a long time. I closed my eyes and ran my hands over his arms, waiting. Finally, he said, “Her family lived next door to mine since I could remember. We were incredibly poor, living off of beans and rice most of the time. Her parents weren’t much better off. Her father was disabled, and her mother worked at the local grocery store. They tried, but none of us were getting out of that neighborhood. But she and I…we had dreams. We were going to college; we were going to make something out of our lives.”

  He fell quiet, clearly lost in his memories. He sighed before he began to speak again.

  “I had a crush on her. But Christy Anne couldn’t see what was right in front of her. She wanted to be popular, wanted to be a part of the ‘in’ crowd. So, when one popular boy finally turned his attention to her, she was beyond thrilled. She thought she was finally going to be one of them. But I warned her he was just using her. I told her that he would hurt her.”

  His body stiffened against mine. I lay still, afraid to move, afraid he wouldn’t finish his story, afraid that he would.

  “He asked her to meet him at the lake. Told her he wanted to ask her something important. She was beyond the moon. I tried to talk her down, tried to convince her…she went despite what I had to say. And by the time I realized what she’d done—she told me she would stay home, but she snuck out and I didn’t know. I was the one who found her, beaten so badly that her skull was broken in four places.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “I knew who’d done it, but the cops wouldn’t listen to me. They said it couldn’t be the police commissioner’s son. Couldn’t be the star of the fucking football team.”

  Anger radiated from him, burning my skin.

  “I made him pay,” he said softly. “I made sure he knew what she’d felt when he hurt her. Made sure he would never do it to another girl. Should have silenced him completely, but I didn’t. And he told his daddy who’d done it to him. They arrested me, showed me where he’d learned to treat a person the way he did.”