KIRKLAND: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security)

by Glenna Sinclair

  I rolled into him, but he wouldn’t look at me.

  “What happened to her?”

  “She was in a vegetative state. The judge…he wasn’t corrupt like most of the others. He gave me a choice, prison or the military. I chose the military. Just before I went, Christy Anne’s parents disconnected her from the machine and the three of us stood beside her as she passed.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated.

  He threw his arm over his eyes. “She should have trusted me. I knew what I was talking about. And I shouldn’t have trusted her. I should have known when she said she wouldn’t go that she was lying. If I’d known, if I hadn’t trusted her, I could have stopped it.”

  “But it’s not your fault, Kirkland.”

  “It is. I knew better than to trust people. My mother left, my father used me, and my brothers turned their backs on the whole family. I’d learned at a very young age not to trust anyone. I should never have—”

  “But it was her choice. It was always her choice.”

  He shook his head, but I grabbed his face between my hands and made him look at me.

  “You can’t make other people’s choices for them. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t trust them.”

  “Why are you here with me?” he suddenly asked. “Why don’t you leave? I’m dangerous. I’ve killed men. I’ve destroyed lives. Why are you here?”

  “Because I want to be.”

  “But I just told you I beat a man with my bare hands! I beat him so severely that he’s been in a wheelchair with a breathing machine attached to his throat ever since. Doesn’t that frighten you?”

  “Why should it? Every man is capable of that sort of thing if he’s pushed far enough.”

  “No, not every man.”

  “Maybe not,” I conceded. “But you did what you thought was right. Who am I to tell you it wasn’t? Who am I to judge you because of the way you were raised, because of things that were out of your control?”

  “You don’t understand, Mabel. I could still be capable of that. Some of the things I did in Afghanistan—”

  “That was war.”

  He groaned, pushing me away from him as he started to climb out of the bed, but I grabbed his arm, crawling on my knees to wrap my arms around his shoulders.

  “I’m not good for you. I’m not good for anyone.”

  “You want to know what I got from that story?”

  He was quiet for a minute, but then he nodded.

  “You loved a girl who was there for you when no one else was. You loved her so much that you tried to protect her. And when you couldn’t protect her, you got justice for her.”

  “I nearly killed a man.”

  “For a girl you loved enough to tattoo her initials on your flesh.”

  “Mabel—”

  “You do believe in love. And you love more and deeper than you think you do. I see you with Joss; I see the way you look at her when she isn’t looking.”

  “She’s my friend.”

  “I know. And I’ve heard how you stayed by David’s side when he was in the hospital, fighting for his life. And I know that you’ve come to Donovan’s rescue on more than one occasion, as well as Joss’. And I know you tried to protect Joss from getting hurt when Carrington first seduced her, and you helped David create his proposal for Ricki. And you stood up at both Donovan and David’s weddings.”

  “So? It’s my job to have Donovan’s back, and David is a friend, just like Joss.”

  “But you love them. They’re your family.”

  He shook his head, but I wouldn’t let him brush me off.

  “You love them. And if you love them, then that means you do believe in love, that you’re capable of loving. It means that you might, someday, be capable of loving me.”

  He turned, pushing me hard against the mattress, his mouth capturing mine without warning. I wrapped my body around him, and he came inside of me as though it was simply meant to be that way. We moved together slowly, our fingers tearing at each other’s flesh. And when he looked at me, when he brushed the hair out of my face and kissed me from my forehead to the tip of my chin, I knew I was right. He loved me.

  I think I might have known from the moment our eyes met that he was the one. He was the guy who was going to turn my world upside down. And he did, making me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. But I was so afraid he’d never love me. But I was wrong. He loved me already. I felt it in his touch, felt it in his kiss. He loved me and that knowledge was something I wanted to hold on to, hold inside of myself until it was just too big to be contained anymore.

  I’d never thought a man like Kirkland could want me. But I wasn’t always right.

  Chapter 25

  Mabel

  I woke the next morning and Kirkland was gone. I tugged his pillow to my chest and held it there, surrounded in his scent, for a long time. I might have drifted back to sleep a few times, the memory of last night full in my heart. But then my phone was ringing and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

  “We have a problem at the office,” Carrie said against my ear when I finally answered the phone.

  “What sort of problem?”

  “The servers are down. The website had crashed. They need you to come down and make some decisions about what to do.”

  I groaned. “Now?”

  “We’re offline, Mabel. I know this weekend was Ricki’s wedding, but they need you here.”

  “Okay.” I sat up, looking around for Kirkland’s things, but all I found was a note on the bedside table.

  Stay put until Ash can get here.

  That’s all it said.

  “I’m gonna jump into the shower, and then I’ll be there.”

  “Great,” Carrie said, disconnecting before I could say anything else.

  Must have been chaos at the office for her to do that. Carrie had been my assistant for almost four months now. She knew all the ins and outs of my daily life. I wouldn’t make it to half my meetings if I didn’t have her ushering me around. I can’t remember how I survived without her, and I was grateful to have her now.

  I jumped into the shower as promised, thinking about Kirkland as I touched a sore spot here, a newly sensitive spot there. I’d been hoping we could spend the day in bed, getting to know each other a little more. He had so much more he could teach me. It was odd that he’d left without waking me. I found myself hoping that everything was okay.

  He still wasn’t there when I was dressed—a simple Catholic schoolgirl skirt in green and black and a black sweater with a white and black panda on the front. I was still tugging my hair into a ponytail when I decided to call for a taxi. Nothing could happen between here and the office, right? The threats and the strange homeless people who were paid to follow me around had stopped at the first of the week. Chances were good that whoever was playing this game with me had grown bored and gave up.

  The taxi arrived right on time, and the ride was uneventful. Carrie was even waiting for me in the lobby. Nothing could go wrong. Right?

  Chapter 26

  Kirkland

  I packed a bag, shoving as much of my shit into one duffle as I could get. I’d accumulated more in the past three years than I’d thought. But most of it fit and what didn’t could stay behind.

  I had to get out of here. I’d never thought that private security was a good fit for me. I was more the paid mercenary type, taking jobs that even top-notch military guys couldn’t handle. I was dangerous, an adrenaline junkie. I needed to stay on the move, needed to feel pushed to the edge.

  I couldn’t stay here anymore.

  I’ve not talked about Christy Anne to anyone since I left New Orleans. No one needed to know my business. I don’t know why I blurted all that crap out to Mabel last night. But then she starts babbling on about trust and love and how I’m capable of more than I thought I was…it was bullshit. I shouldn’t have gotten myself into this mess.

  I walked up to the main house to inform Ash of my dec
ision to leave. He needed to send someone to the hotel to watch over Mabel. After that, well, my obligations were finished. I could leave with a clear conscious.

  Besides, Mabel would probably be happier with Ash as her operative. There was something between them, something I was not a part of. He could keep her safe, even give her whatever it was she was looking for.

  Ash was in the kitchen, pouring himself one of his famous cups of coffee, so strong that no one could possibly drink as much as he did. He frowned when he saw me, watching me closely as I walked toward him.

  “Where’s Mabel?”

  “At the hotel. You should probably send someone over there to watch her.”

  “Why aren’t you there?”

  I dropped my bag and leaned against the counter. “I’m leaving.”

  “To go where?”

  I shrugged. “Wherever.”

  Ash’s frown deepened. “What’s going on, Kirkland?”

  “Not a thing. It’s just time for me to move on.”

  “Okay,” Ash said. “But it’s not like you to walk out in the middle of a case. Who do you think can take your place with Mabel? Donovan’s got the day off, then he starts a new assignment tomorrow. And Joss is too pregnant to be out in the field.”

  “I kind of figured you’d want to do it. You and Mabel seem to have some sort of connection.”

  Ash’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Me and Mabel?”

  “You’re always sneaking off together, talking.”

  “Sneaking?” Ash shook his head. “The only things Mabel and I ever talked about were you and this article she wants to do with me when she gets her magazine up and running.”

  “Magazine?”

  “Yeah. She said something about starting a publishing house. She has been planning a magazine since she began Cumming’s Treasure, but she didn’t want it connected to the website because she wanted it to be more of a mainstream venture. When she got the funding to start her publishing house, she said the first thing she wanted to do was launch this magazine, and she wants me to be the first cover story.”

  She hadn’t said anything to me about it, but we hadn’t been talking much about her work since…well, since her indecent proposal.

  “You weren’t flirting with her?”

  “Is that what this is? Are you jealous?” Ash moved around me and started to cross the room to his desk. “You should know better than that, Kirkland. I wouldn’t make a move on one of your girls.”

  “One of my girls?”

  “You don’t think everyone knows what’s going on between you and Mabel?” There was laughter in his voice, dancing in his eyes as he turned to look at me. “If we hadn’t known already by the way you refused to go looking for trouble at the rehearsal dinner, it was pretty obvious by the look on your face when you saw her walking down the aisle at the wedding.”

  I shook my head. “There’s nothing going on with Mabel.”

  “Then there should be.” Ash came back, staring me down like a drill sergeant. “We all knew it would happen someday. I’m just glad it happened before you got yourself into some real trouble with one of your women. And Mabel…” He smiled. “I like Mabel. I think she’d be good for you.”

  Before I could respond, the alarm on David’s workstation sounded at the same time my phone began to buzz hysterically.

  “Oh, hell,” Ash muttered, rushing across the room to see what the problem was. But I already knew. The system David had created just recognized trouble at Mabel’s office. Highlighted on my phone was a video feed of Carrie holding a gun to the back of Mabel’s head.

  “What the hell? What is she doing at the office?”

  “I’ll call Emily. You should get your ass over there.”

  He didn’t have to say it. I was already halfway out the door.

  Chapter 27

  Mabel

  Carrie led the way to the elevator just after I arrived, gesturing for me to enter the car first.

  “What happened? What are they doing to fix it?”

  “What?” Carrie asked.

  “The servers.” I glanced at her, an understanding smile on my lips. “You know, the reason you called me?”

  “Oh, that was just an excuse to get you here.”

  “What?”

  She reached behind her and pulled a gun out of her waistband, leveling it on me.

  “I just wanted you here alone so that I could finish what I started.”

  “Carrie—?”

  “My name isn’t Carrie. It’s Alicia Margolis.”

  I had no idea what she was talking about, but the gun was real enough, and it was pointed at the center of my chest. I closed my eyes, wishing David wasn’t off on his honeymoon, but that he was sitting at his desk at Gray Wolf watching this unfold on his monitors.

  But, no such luck.

  The doors opened and Carrie—Alicia—gestured for me to step off.

  “Your office,” she said.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Now you want to know? Before, you didn’t give a shit. You wouldn’t even contact the police until that nosy friend of yours got involved. It was going to be so easy, but then she had to get her big nose in the way, call that fiancé of hers, and drag that nice guy into all of this. I didn’t want to hurt him, but if he didn’t get the hell out of my way…”

  We reached my office. She gestured for me to take a seat behind her desk.

  “We’re going to make it look like a suicide. You’re depressed because your friend got married, but you’re never going to find a man who can see past your eccentrics enough to marry you.”

  “Carrie—”

  “Alicia! My name is Alicia.”

  “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

  I didn’t see it coming. She was behind me and the blow was from the back, hard enough to pitch me forward and cause my teeth to click in my head. I saw stars for a long moment before things slowly began to settle again.

  “You’re a fucking bitch! Running this place for the money, but never thinking about the people you hurt. My sister was just eighteen. She just graduated high school and was about to go off to Stanford when your website ruined her life!”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Of course you don’t.”

  Carrie reached around me and shook the mouse attached to my computer, waking it from hibernation. An open word processing page filled the screen for a minute, long enough for me to catch a couple of words. Depressed…never get married…tired of being lonely…

  A suicide note.

  Then she touched an icon and a movie filled the screen, the moans of the female actress oozing from the computer’s speakers.

  “My sister,” she said, gesturing to the screen.

  The scene was in a bedroom with a large, four-poster bed. A young woman was lying with her head partially hanging off the end of the bed while a man lay between her legs, using his mouth to bring forth the moans slipping from her lips. It was a movie distributed by John Callum and his production company.

  “She’s an actress?”

  Carrie tensed, turning on me with the gun raised.

  “Please, if you’re going to kill me, the least you could do is help me understand.”

  She glared at me for a long moment, then slowly lowered the gun.

  “Our family isn’t rich. She had a full scholarship, but she needed money for other things. Travel. Food. Living expenses. Some guy convinced her that if she did one of these movies, she’d make enough in one day to do that. So she did.”

  Carrie turned back to the computer, smacking her hand against the screen hard enough to make the monitor crash to the floor. “Fuck!” she muttered, smacking her hands against the top of the desk.

  “People saw it. They went to your website and downloaded the movie, saw her face, and saw how much fun she appeared to be having. They thought that was who she was. My sweet, innocent little sister. She’d never done anything like it before, but they thought she was a w
hore.” She turned to me, anger burning in her eyes. “One of her professors asked her for a blow job, told her he’d tell the dean about the movie if she didn’t do it. A cop recognized her when she just happened to pass him on the street. He cornered her in an alley and told her he’d pay her if she fucked him right there and then.”

  Carrie shook her head. “It happened over and over again, so much that she couldn’t take it anymore. She came home, locked herself in her room, and refused to come out. And then, one day, my mom goes to bring her breakfast on a tray and finds her hanging from the ceiling. The note she left said she couldn’t live with the shame of what she’d done any more.”

  “I’m—”

  “Don’t you dare say how sorry you are!” Carrie moved behind me, pressing the gun to the back of my head. “People have been saying how sorry they are for months. I don’t want to hear it anymore!”

  I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t stupid. I knew lives got ruined in this business. But lives got ruined in any business. What about the homeowners who were foreclosed on during the mortgage crisis that was designed by a bunch of greedy bankers? What about the investors who were screwed over in the Bernie Madoff scheme? What about hard-working men and women who lost their pensions when the corporation they trusted used some fine print in their contracts to allow them to reallocate the money to something else? Or invest it in risky stocks?

  It was horrible what happened to Carrie’s—Alicia’s—sister. I felt for her, I did. I was in the same position. I had a full scholarship to Stanford, too, a scholarship that left out all the basics. I had a dorm room, books, and a food card. But I didn’t have transportation; I couldn’t afford to go home to see my parents, and I had no food on the days when the cafeteria was closed. I had to hold down a full-time job while I was in school to pay for those things. Carrie’s sister and I had the same choices. We were in the same boat.

  “What can I do to make this right?”

  “Can you bring my sister back?”

  She laughed, the sound the saddest thing I think I’d ever heard. My head was throbbing, blood running down the back of my neck. I thought about my family, about my brothers, wondering what they would do when they got word of my ‘suicide.’ I thought about Kirkland, and my heart wanted to break. What would he do when he learned what had happened today? Would he miss me? Would he feel guilty?